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Beyond - Legends Pride and Peril (46 ABY, OCs, Luke Skywalker-[One-Shot, Violence])

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Carlos Danger, Aug 5, 2013.

  1. Carlos Danger

    Carlos Danger Jedi Master star 2

    Jul 25, 2013
    Title: Pride and Peril
    Era: Approximately 46 ABY

    Jedi Apprentice Kurr Sark skillfully brought his small shuttlecraft down for a landing outside the city of Hurom located on the planet Thule. As he went thought his post flight checks he looked out the ship’s transparisteel viewport to the vast grasslands surrounding the city. The savannah regions stretched from one horizon to the other. Occasionally large black outcrops of rock—some thrusting into the sky two or three hundred meters—broke the grassy plains.

    He had read up on the planet and town before departing to the Esstran Sector. Thule was once a Sith world and Hurom was the location of an ancient Sith temple. Of course, the Sith were now long gone. The last one to grace the planet was Count Dooku who tried to activate an ancient Sith weapon called the Dark Reaper. The Jedi Order stopped Dooku during the Clone War and destroyed the weapon, along with much of the city. The planet never recovered from the devastation. The people who remained on the damaged world now scratched out a meager agrarian existence.

    He finished his shut down sequence, unstrapped himself from his crash webbing and tapped a button to lower the boarding ramp. As he moved out of the cockpit and waited for the ramp to lower he caught his own reflection in the polished steel bulkhead. He smiled at his image as he straightened his tunic and adjusted his belt. He looked good. His Jedi robes were bulky, but they couldn’t hide his muscular frame or his roguish good looks. He was the embodiment of the perfect Jedi Knight: strong, handsome, smart and with excellent fighting skills.

    He glowered indignantly. “But I’m not a Knight,” he said darkly. “Just a kriff’n Apprentice.” The thought had him bristling with irritation and Sark’s eye twitched as he remembered the injustice brought upon him while at the Jedi Academy on Shedu Maad.

    For years he spent hours each day exercising to strengthen his body, he excelled in every lightsaber form, he was an expert shot with a blaster and memorized tomes and tomes of Jedi lore. After twelve years of training he finally underwent his Jedi Trials. As far as he was concerned he exceeded every expectation, but in the end he was denied full knighthood. The Grand Master said he was not ready on a spiritual and emotional level to advance. He needed to have more patience and less pride.

    Sark gave an internal snort. It was hard to learn patience when your goal in life was constantly being pulled out of your grasp. And as for pride…what was wrong with having satisfaction in being the best? Master Skywalker’s decision was unfair, unjust and humiliating. The judgment was so irrational that Sark decided the elderly Grand Master must have fallen victim to senility.

    ‘He should turn the Order over to a younger man,’ Sark thought scornfully. 'But knowing the Grand Master he'd probably overlook truly qualified Jedi in order to install his son as the next Grand Master'. He grimaced at the thought. In his opinion, Ben Skywalker had no sense in his head. The young Jedi was fooled and manipulated by his Sith cousin and later he fell in love with a Sith girl who betrayed the Jedi.


    Sark strolled down the boarding ramp and pushed his access remote to close the door and secure the ship behind him. He walked the short distance to the worn torn town of Hurom. The residents tried to rebuild after the war, but obviously had little knowledge of construction. Sark could see large cargo containers welded together into makeshift shelters and ancient stone homes precariously plastered back together by somebody with little or no knowledge of masonry.

    The entire planet was a dump. He was sure Master Skywalker sent him here to learn humility. He should be off searching for the lost Sith tribe, but instead he was looking for a missing historian who probably inputted the wrong jump coordinates and ended up in a black hole somewhere.

    The historian he was searching for was a mildly Force sensitive Twi’lek named Uro Glax. The red skinned Twi’lek was a civilian scholar specializing in Jedi and Sith Lore. Two weeks ago he traveled to Thule to do research about various Sith legends. After the discovery of the lost tribe, Grand Master Skywalker asked his historians to research the Sith in the hope of finding a clue as to the location of the elusive tribe. Uro Glax left Shedu Maad and then disappeared.

    Sark questioned the locals about the historian. Some of the merchants mentioned seeing a Twi’lek a week ago. Some said he went to the old abandoned Sith Temple at the center of the city. Others said he traveled to Kiffar, a small town approximately ten kilometers south.

    After searching through the city of Hurom for most of the day, Sark was convinced Uro Glax must have traveled to Kiffar. He walked back to his ship and considered taking the shuttle to the small town. He decided he didn’t want to go through the long start up procedures for such a short flight. Instead, he retrieved a speeder bike from the cargo compartment and rode off to the south.

    Sark didn’t think it possible, but Kiffar was in worse shape than Hurom. The village was primitive and stunk of the raw sewage that ran through its streets. A few old, beat up speeders traversed the roads, but most of the locals used large pack animals to pull carts and for personal transportation. Sark covered his nose with his sleeve in an attempt to ward off the smell, but met with little success. He ducked into a small general store and asked the human shopkeeper if he had seen a Twi’lek recently.

    The old man’s brow furrowed in thought. “I saw one a few days back. Red Twi’lek who talked like a professor. That him?”

    Kurr Sark nodded. “That sounds like him. Do you know where he went?”

    “Sure, he went to see the guardian.” He pointed to the large black outcrop in the distance. “But you shouldn’t go there. Only the people who feed the guardian go there. That’s what I told your Twi’lek friend, but he went anyway.”

    “Did he come back?”

    The man shook his head. “I didn’t see him return. He shouldn’t have went there, but he wanted to talk to the guardian.”

    Sark cocked his head to the side in confusion. “And who is this guardian and what does he guard?”

    The man looked up at him like he was an idiot. “The guardian, he is an immortal who keeps us safe from evil.”

    Sark couldn’t help but scoff at the superstitious lore some people believe. “There is no such thing as an immortal and if he were immortal…why do you need to feed him?”

    The man ran his hand over his stubble-covered chin in thought. “I don’t know about that, but I do know the guardian has been there for generations. He ended the death and darkness that plagued our world.”

    Sark heaved a sigh knowing he would have to go out and see if Uro Glax was with this mysterious guardian. “Thanks for the information,” Sark said while tossing a credit chip to the man. He wasn’t sure if GA credits were of any use in this rimworld cesspool but he decided to reward the man anyway.

    “Sithspit!” he swore under his breath. “Where’d that foolish Twi’lek get to?” He mounted his swoop and hurried off toward the black mountain rising in the distance.

    As he approached the large rocky outcrop he could feel electricity in the air. A storm cloud hovered over the mountain as lightning strikes pelted the ancient rock. But electricity was not the only sensation he felt. There was the presence of the darkside looming over the mountain. A tendril of evil reached out to him, pulling him closer to the base of the mountain until he came to the opening of a cave.

    He halted his swoop and dismounted. He shuddered as a cold feeling of dread ran down his spine. He shook off the sensation as he squared his shoulders and centered himself in the Force. He could do this.

    He entered the cavern cautiously. As he moved down the dark passageway he heard his boots crunch on something. He pulled out a glowrod and activated it. He looked down and saw what looked like bones. He wasn’t sure but some of them appeared to be human. He held the rod above his head and he could see the tunnel was littered with skeletal remains.

    It was like something from a childhood tale…a story about a monster that lived in a cave and ate children who misbehaved. Sark knew it was a story parents told their children to get them to listen, but seeing such a sea of bones made him wondered if some of those childhood tales were based on fact. He took some comfort in knowing they all looked ancient and most dissolved into dust as he walked over them. Hopefully the creature that left this destruction was long gone.

    As he moved farther into the cave the feeling of the darkside intensified until it was like a cold blanket pressing down upon him. In the distance he heard talking. He unhooked his lightsaber and held it in his hand, ready for whatever might come. He slowly crept forward until he could see a light ahead. He extinguished his glowrod and quietly moved toward the light. Pressed against the cave wall and hiding his Force presence he took a quick glance into what looked like a small grotto.

    Inside he saw the silhouettes of two men sitting at a large table and talking amiably. Glow-lanterns hanging from the ceiling formed long shadows across the floor and up the walls. When one of the men moved Sark could make out lekku, Twi’lek headtails, and he knew he found his missing historian. He opened himself up to the Force to try to ascertain if he was in any danger. Once he did so the two men stopped talking.

    “Who’s there?” The voice came from Uro.

    Sark sighed and entered the chamber. “It’s Jedi Apprentice Kurr Sark. I was sent to find you.”

    The Twi’lek stood quickly and moved toward Sark his expression filled with uneasy worry. “You mustn’t be here. I am conducting an interview with the Guardian and I promised him that no Jedi would be involved.”

    Sark’s eyes narrowed. “Why would you do that Uro, unless something illegal is happening here?”

    “There’s not,” Uro said anxiously as he stood between Sark and the Guardian. “I’m fine, please go.”

    When Sark didn’t move, Uro put his hands on his shoulders and tried to guide him back the way he came. Sark slapped Uro’s hands away from him angrily. “I may be only be an apprentice, but I don’t take orders from Force-weak historians.”

    “I sent a message to the Temple yesterday announcing I was taking a sabbatical to do private research,” the Twi’lek explained. “Go to your ship and contact the Order. You will see I am telling the truth. You have no authority over me.”

    “I left my ship at Hurom, so I can’t verify your story. It doesn’t matter because I don’t care if you’re on leave. You need to explain to me what you’re doing here.” He pushed his way around the Twi’lek and moved toward the mysterious guardian. “And who are you?”

    The man stood from the table as Sark approached. The Jedi noticed there were bowls on the table filled with a dark red liquid that reeked like a slaughterhouse.

    “I am Nikkos Yoru.” He held his hands out to his side, palms up, indicating he had no weapons. “I am the guardian of this place.”

    Sark stared at the man and tried to place his species. He was either human or near human. He had old wrinkled skin and a shock of white hair. His body looked frail, but his face had the intensity of a dangerous man. Deep-set dark eyes buried under a low furrowed brow glared at Sark with an unnerving intensity. The man’s wide nostrils flared with irritation as his mouth tightened into a thin line. Sark got the distinct impression that the man was trying to maintain his composure.

    Sark squeezed the handle of his lightsaber nervously. With effort he pulled his eyes away from the mysterious man’s almost hypnotic gaze. “And what is this place?” He ran a finger around the rim of one of the bowls. “And what is this rancid liquid.”

    “Please Jedi Sark,” the Twi’lek historian pleaded as he walked toward him. “Please leave. We are hurting no one.”

    When it looked like Glax was going to try to pull him out of the cave again, Sark activated his lightsaber. He turned and glared at Uro. “Don’t touch me while I am trying to investigate.”

    “You came to find me. Fine, let us go,” the historian pleaded.

    “Not until I find out what’s going on. I feel darkness. I feel the darkside oozing from this place.”

    “You are correct,” Nikkos said calmly. “This is the location of a darkside nexus.”

    “So you are here to keep people from entering.”

    The man nodded. “That is one of my purposes.”

    “And what is this liquid.”

    The man hesitated for a moment before answering. “Bloodsoup.”

    “Bloodsoup? That is a Sith delicacy.”

    “They are not the only ones who partake in that particular nourishment.”

    Sark walked closer to the man and noticed an amulet on his arm. One he had seen in his history lessons. “Is that a Sith amulet?”

    The man looked down at the purple glowing crystal embedded within a gold bracelet. “It once belonged to a Sith, but now it belongs to me.”

    Sark stepped closer, but Nikkos moved back. “Please do not get closer to me. I can feel the your life Force…it is strong…tempting.”

    Jedi Kurr Sark ignored the man as he slowly paced around the ancient guardian. As he approached he could see movement under the man’s cheeks. Nikkos quickly put a hand up to hide something. “Please leave.”

    “And leave a Sith alive? Not likely.”

    “Jedi Sark he is not a Sith he is a guardian.” Uro said urgently but didn’t approach Sark while his saber was activated.

    “What were those things I saw on your face?” Sark asked as he drew closer.

    The man tried to turn away, but Sark grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around, his lightsaber held out to his side ready to strike.

    The guardian gave him a grim look. “Please leave,” the man begged. “You’re life force is very strong and I have not fed properly in years. Go now, before it’s too late.” The man shuddered, his hands clenched to his side as if he was fighting an internal battle.

    Sark looked into the man’s dark purple eyes and was caught in his gaze. His mind watched numbly as two long proboscises slide out of the man’s cheek pockets. The guardian trembled and tried to turn away, but could not bring himself to do so. “I am so sorry, but your soup calls me. The yearning is too strong and I need strength to continue my watch. To keep the evil at bay.”

    Sark’s eyes widened as the snake-like tentacles crawled across his face and began slithering up his nose. Horror seized him as he realized what he was dealing with. This was an Anzat—a creature that fed off the blood and Force essence of sentient beings. If Sark couldn’t get away from him now he knew the creatures proboscises would soon force their way into his cranium and consume his brain matter along with his soul. He struggled to break free from the Anzat’s mind control and succeeded in bringing his lightsaber up between him and his tormentor’s body slicing the tentacles in half. The man screamed in pain as he backed away. Sark reached up and pulled the remaining parts of the proboscises out of this nose. They came out with a slurping sound, bloody and covered with mucus that he hoped wasn’t part of his brain.

    The Anzat shrieked with rage as he pulled out a small holdout blaster hidden underneath his tunic. Sark was quick to counter. He spun around swinging his saber in an arc and taking Nikkos’ hand off. The weapon and amulet hit the cave floor with a thud.

    The Anzat’s eyes went wide. “The amulet, I must put it back on. Onto my other hand.” He crawled forward, but Sark kicked it away.

    “No way.” He held his lightsaber out in front of him preventing Nikkos from reaching out and grasping the crystal. He was surprised when Uro rushed forward and tried to seize the bracelet. Sark wasn’t sure what was going on, but nobody was going to be using a Sith amulet today. He slashed down with his lightsaber and broke the crystal in two.

    Uro fell to his knees and gave a plaintive moan. “What have you done?” Uro slowly stood his jaw slack with shock. He stared at the destroyed amulet for a moment before he turned to Sark and sneered. “You are a brain dead idiot! You should have been kicked out the order and not recycled into a second apprenticeship. The Grand Master wanted to dismiss you but others convinced him otherwise. You are an arrogant, vain and reckless fool!”

    Sark’s blood began to boil. He couldn’t believe this low-level lackey had the nerve to talk to him like that. “Then you are just as stupid as the Grand Master in your assessment of me,” he shot back. He looked at the bowls of bloodsoup and pointed to the litter of bones in the tunnel he came from. “This Anzat has been tricking the locals into providing him bloodsoup and possibly human sacrifices to keep him alive. Those stupid peasants believe he guards them from mythical creatures that don’t exist. The fact is he’s the monster!”

    Uro put his hands over his face and wept. “You have killed us all.”

    Sark felt like kicking some sense into the historian but thought it beneath him. After he returned to the Temple with Uro he would report his findings. He freed the locals from a manipulating Sith Anzat and caught Uro Glax fraternizing with the enemy. He would be a hero. Then the Grand Master would have no choice but to bestow upon him the title of Jedi Knight. Sark gave a smug smile. This was going to be the mission that finally set him on the path of knighthood.

    The smile dropped off of Sark’s face when he felt a rumbling under his feet. He looked up at the ceiling and watched stalactites vibrate and fall. He jumped out of the way and pressed himself against a far wall. “What’s going on?”

    The Anzat was siting on the floor of the cave clutching the stump of his severed hand. He looked up at Sark and gave him a ruthless smile. “I think it might be those mythical creatures that don’t exist.”

    It sounded like a herd of banthas was stampeding in their direction. He looked around and spied a ledge high above. Using a Force enhanced jump he made it to the narrow outcrop. He turned off his lightsaber and tried to wedge his body as far into a small crevasse as possible, then made himself ‘small’ in the Force in hopes of avoiding detection. With any luck, whatever was coming would run right through the room and out of the cave. He could hear Uro screaming taunts in his direction. He considered trying to levitate the two men up to the ledge, but there was no room for a Sith and a traitor.

    “There is the mighty Jedi scurrying for safety,” Uro heckled Sark. “Your Master would have listened to me and he would have thought of our safety before his own. You are as cowardly as you are stupid!”

    Sark didn’t have time to respond. The grotto was soon swarming with gruesome creatures. Some he recognized from history book and others were fiends one only saw in nightmares. A two-headed Battle Hydra with leathery wings and a whiplike tail rush into the cave opening and bit down on the Anzat’s head, decapitating him cleanly, before swallowing the skull whole. A rakghoul made his way around the hydra and grabbed Nikkos’ headless body before dragging him away and feasting on his entrails. Sark could hear Uro scream as a four-armed monster with huge claws and teeth grabbed hold of the Twi’lek’s nekku and pulled them off with a spray of blood.

    Sark averted his eyes as the stream of monstrous creatures poured from the interior tunnel, through the grotto, and out of the passageway he entered. It seemed like an eternity, but finally the cave crew silent. He stayed wedged in the crevasse of the cave wall for over an hour before his hands stopped trembling and his heart palpitations subsided. He’s mind was reeling at the horrors he saw and it took all of his will power to look down at the carnage below.

    He couldn’t find Uro or Nikkos; there was only blood, smashed bowls, table and chairs. With his saber held in his white knuckled grip he jumped to the ground below. He needed to get to his swoop and let the Jedi Order know what happened. He paused. He couldn’t tell the Grand Master that he was instrumental in the release of dozens of Sithspawn. He looked back at the blood-covered floor and realized he was the only witness. He could tell the Jedi any story he wished. He activated his lightsaber and used it as a glowrod as he made his way out of the cavern.

    Once outside, he spotted his swoop knocked over but in good condition. He pulled it upright and was relieved when it started. As he drove toward the town of Kiffar he noticed the many foot and hoof prints heading toward the town and his stomach knotted with dread. If those creatures made it to the village they would have no defense. He went full throttle hoping he could warn the townspeople before the attack.

    When he arrived to the village he was assaulted with the sights and smells of carnage. The town was ripped apart, as were the villagers. He searched for survivors but found none, only blood, torn clothing and an occasional body part missed by the ravenous creatures. He walked around the village wondering where the Sith beasts had gone. He finally found their tracks again and they were headed north…to Hurom. “Oh kriff,” he moaned as he got onto his comlink and tried to contact someone…anyone. He clicked through ever frequency possible, but all he got was static. He put the comlink back into his tunic and pointed his swoop north, speeding toward Hurom as fast as the vehicle would take him.

    He found Hurom in the same condition as Kiffar. The buildings were destroyed and the occupants torn apart. He looked around at the blood filled streets. Everybody was dead.

    “How was I to know?” he mumbled to himself as he shook his head in disbelief. “I couldn’t know. If that idiot historian had checked-in upon arrival none of this would have happened. This is not my fault. I had nothing to do with this. I wasn’t given a proper briefing. I wasn’t warned of the danger. Uro and that Anzat snot vampire tricked me. This is their fault.”

    He took a deep breath and let it out. He was totally without blame he realized. He couldn’t possibly know that the legend was true and the guardian held back the Sithspawn creatures. Anyway, the Anzat was trying to kill him. This wasn’t his fault.

    In the distance he could hear the scream of a large animal. He decided it was time for him to leave. He powered up his swoop and headed toward his ship.

    He sighed in relief when he found the shuttle untouched. He used a remote key to unlock the ship and lower the ramp. He flew the swoop into the ship and nearly collided with the cockpit bulkhead. He killed the engine and slammed the button to raise the ramp and secure the shuttle. He scrambled to the flight deck and began start up procedures. When he got back to the temple he would tell the Grand Master how he was attacked and barely escaped with his life. He would let the Jedi know Uro Glax was working with a murderous Anzat and they had released a host of sithspawn monsters when caught.

    This definitely is not my fault.

    He was inputting his navigation coordinates when the ship was rocked. It felt like it was rammed by a speeder. He stood and gazed outside the cockpit transparisteel viewport when he suddenly found himself face to face with what looked like a leviathan. The beast brought his mouth to the cockpit window and its hot breath clouded the front viewport before it let out a howl that reverberated thought the ship and the Force. Sark put his hands to his ears trying to block out the awful scream. He reached down to the controls and decided to do a cold liftoff. He didn’t have time to make sure all systems were ready.

    He grabbed the steering yoke and pulled up, the ship rose a couple meters but then was slammed back to the ground. He could hear the sound of claws raking across the top of the ship. He flipped on the shield generator hoping it would shock the creature, but after a brief screech of pain the animal became more aggressive. It started smashing the craft and at one point a razor-sharp claw slammed into the front viewing port cracking the canopy.

    Sark’s heart sank. The ship was no longer space worthy. The best he could hope for was to lift off and stay within the atmosphere and try to find another city on this Force-forsaken world. That prospect was dashed when he heard a horrible screech of metal and witnessed his ship’s engine sailing thirty meters across the savannah.

    He sat down heavily. There was nothing to do now but send out a message. He needed to warn the Jedi about these vicious Sith beasts. He turned when he heard the back ramp tear open and the head of a hydra snake its way into the ship searching for its prey. Sark didn’t have much time. He started typing in his message when something that looked like a macabre, blood red k’lor’slug clambered past the hydra and into the cockpit and grabbed Sark’s arm with it’s massive jaws. He screamed and pushed the transmit button with his other hand. He only had time to write one word, but hopefully it would be enough. The Jedi would know he struggled to the very end to warn them. He would be a hero. He imagined he would be knighted posthumously and admired for his bravery.

    He screamed as the creature stabbed a sharp appendage into his neck. Arterial blood spurted out with each heartbeat as the beast fed.

    As the life ebbed away he was heartened by the fact that he would be a Jedi Knight and his name would never be forgotten.

    Seha Dorvald, the young Jedi apprentice currently serving as Grand Master Skywalker’s aide entered his office. “Master Skywalker we have a message from Jedi Apprentice Sark, but I don’t understand it. It is just one word…Sithspawn.”

    “Sithspawn.” The Grand Master let the word roll over his tongue as his brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought Sithspit was his favorite profanity.” He leaned back in his office chair, rubbing his chin between his thumb and fingers. “Did you attempt to contact him and ask for clarification?”

    “I tried, but could not reach him. If we can’t contact him, should we send out a search party?”

    The Grand Master shook his head. “No. Uro Glax notified us he was taking an indefinite leave of absence and he was fine.” Master Skywalker looked up to his assistant. “You did send Sark the message rescinding his mission, didn’t you?”

    The young woman nodded. “Yes, but he is far out in the galactic rim. It might have taken a day or two for him to receive the transmission.”

    Master Skywalker sighed. “He probably thought I sent him out on a wild bantha chase as punishment for his past insolence.” He shrugged. “Knowing Sark he probably decided that he was wronged by the Jedi Order one too many times and decided to send one last caustic barb to me before quitting. The man is trouble.” He sighed deeply. “Have his name removed from the Jedi Rolls. I’m not going to let anybody convince me to give him another chance at Knighthood. I let him stay against my better judgment. I won’t make the same mistake twice.” Master Skywalker ran a hand through his greying blond hair. “As far as I’m concerned, I never want to hear his name again.”

    The young assistant nodded. “Yes, sir. Kurr Sark will be removed from Temple roster and his name not mentioned again.”

    ~The End~
    Nightvision91 likes this.
  2. EmeraldJediFire

    EmeraldJediFire Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 23, 2012
    Oh if only they knew..
  3. Nightvision91

    Nightvision91 Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 21, 2013
    Well done I enjoyed this a great deal. Hope to see more from you.
  4. Carlos Danger

    Carlos Danger Jedi Master star 2

    Jul 25, 2013
    Thanks EmeraldJediFire for reading and taking the time to review. After a day passed without a review I was getting a bit depressed. :( I was hoping the story didn't suck that much.

    Thank you Nightvision91 for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. OC stories are never very popular. I'm glad a couple people liked it. I usually only read books with Luke Skywalker in them, but then I started reading books like Riptide and Mercy Kill and realized other characters can be an interesting read. That inspired me to write an OC story.

    I really appreciate both of you taking the time to review. It is encouraging for me. :D
  5. EmeraldJediFire

    EmeraldJediFire Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 23, 2012
    It helps if you have canon characters

    Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2
  6. Carlos Danger

    Carlos Danger Jedi Master star 2

    Jul 25, 2013
    True, but since the main character is a narcissistic jerk apprentice who meets a violent death and the other two supporting characters also die...I didn't think the use of any of the canon characters would work. I think we have seen enough dead canon characters in the professional novels, anyway. So, I was sort of stuck using OCs to tell the story.

    I hope the readers didn't get the impression that I dislike Ben or Luke. On the contrary, I had the main character disrespect the Skywalkers just so people would want him dead and to also show how full of crap he is. :p
  7. EmeraldJediFire

    EmeraldJediFire Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 23, 2012

    No I didn't think that

    Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2
  8. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 25, 2005
    Quite an interesting morality tale. Very chilling. Welcome to the boards!!
  9. Carlos Danger

    Carlos Danger Jedi Master star 2

    Jul 25, 2013
    Thank you. Well, all the main characters are no ginchy-shine. :p Maybe I can get some romance going for Ben in Katti in my story Heat. ;) Ben deserves a non-Sithy girlfriend.

    Thanks for reading and taking the time to review!
  10. Rau_Fang

    Rau_Fang Jedi Master star 2

    Mar 28, 2005
    You know a dude ain't up to no good when he's mugging in front of a shiny bulkhead.

    Something about this detail and the setting in general really stood out to me. Maybe it is that I see a little bit of the arrogance in the Old Jedi Order reflected in the Sark's story? The Jedi might have won the day but they never took the time to help the innocent people caught in the middle. Only worn and desolation even on the site of ancient heroics and saves-the-day antics.

    Really interesting! This is another great dark tale!
  11. Carlos Danger

    Carlos Danger Jedi Master star 2

    Jul 25, 2013

    Yeah, there is a little bit of vanity going on there.

    I do think the Old Jedi Order were a little arrogant...otherwise they wouldn't have been fooled by a Sith living right under their noses. They were a little too overconfident. I didn't intentionally write it to reflect that though. I needed to place the story where evil sithspawn could be hiding, but not one where you wouldn't send an apprentice. I don't think Luke would have sent Sark to Korriban. When I looked up Thule it appeared that there were no longer Sith there but also it was not a thriving world anymore... so that is why I wrote it that way. Also I wanted a planet that was backwater enough that people could disappear and not be noticed right away so that Sark disappearing (along with most of the planet) wouldn't immediately be noticed.

    Thanks for reading! I really appreciate you taking the time to review!