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Before the Saga Pun away - Dare challenge & OTP Challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kit', May 14, 2020.

  1. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Alright,

    So firstly apologies. This is going to make you groan. Hopefully it'll make you laugh. It certainly made my beta-reader ask it to stop half way through (thanks hubby for being my lab rat for this). But I can't help it, it was all part of @Briannakin's epic dare.

    The dare was to write a story that included the following:

    Your story may be set in any era, and may be Legends, NuCanon, or a mix of both, but it must include the following things:
    A pet
    A group of friends singing a song together
    The word "donnybrook"
    A WTF moment
    A practical joke
    Someone gets drunk
    Someone gets a makeover
    As many bad puns as you can manage (I got 18 [face_hypnotized][face_dancing]8-})

    When getting this dare I discovered that Donnybrook means confusion or fracas but also that it's a small town in regional Australia that, in the past, has been voted the ugliest town going.

    I decided to combine it with the OTP Challenge #15 as it leant itself very well to just being dialogue (how else could I get so many puns in) in which I went for number 23. which is things you said [make your own] and so in the spirit of [make your own] it's now (for me at least) 23. Things you said when you were teasing.

    ***

    Name: Pun away
    Author: Kit'
    Genre: dialogue fix
    Era: Before the Saga 61BBY
    Summary: Oh the puns. Just the puns.

    Namia, Taeyn Mace and Qui-Gon have been left alone overnight by their Masters. What could possible go wrong?


    ***

    "Shh! He’s still asleep. Have you done it?

    “Yeah, it’s up. I’ve balanced the bucket on the edge of the door. When Mace pushes the door open it’ll tip all over him. Did you get the makeup?”

    “Yep, and hair dye. Qui is passed out so hard that even if we shaved his head, he isn’t going to wake up.”

    “Do you think it’s such a good idea Namia?”

    “He’s been a pain and I’m over it. Pass me that mascara.”

    “Don’t you guys need to stop fighting and make-up.”

    “Don’t lash out at me I have a mascara brush and I’m not afraid to use it.”

    “Okay, well you show me what to do and I’ll do it.”

    “Just do what I say and don’t give me any lip.”

    “Oooo! Not if that’s the shade you’re going to be using. Did you know that when I become a knight I'm going to grow out the hair on my upper lip, then shave it, put it in a box, and hide that box?”

    “Why...?”

    “It's going to be my secret stash.”

    “Really? Oh no - he’s stirring. What do we do?”

    “Sing. We have to sing to him. Both of us together, are you ready?”

    “Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep little Quiggy.”

    “He’s asleep again but I think I need some more to drink. Can you go Taeyn?”

    “It’s too cold outside. If I go out in the cold, it’ll make me so-brr!”

    “Seriously Taeyn!”

    “Look, the alcohol isn’t going to solve all your problems, but it’s worth a shot.”

    “Maybe to warm up you need some brrr-bon.”

    “Ha. Ha. I’ll get beer, it’ll cure what ales ya.”

    “Just make sure you take a pitcher – it’ll last longer.”

    “What were our Masters thinking leaving us to our own devices in the middle of Donnybrook?”

    “It’s not a bad town.”

    “It’s the ugliest town in Princessvale.”

    “It has an amazingly tall library.”

    “Yeah, and how do you figure that?”

    “Oh, come on Namia, it has thousands of stories.”

    “You’re awful. Alright now for the hair dye.”

    “On it. You’re forgetting Donnybrook’s neat pet shop.”

    “Really? Is that where you got your pet rock from?”

    “Yep, his name’s Ignatius and like me he really lavas you.”

    “Uh huh. How much did you pay for it?”

    “Not much, he was on shale.”

    “And what does Ignatius do exactly?”

    “Well, he has his faults but for starters he doesn’t take life for granite.”

    “Can you stop with the rock puns?”

    “Aww, I’d just started to dig the best ones up.”

    “You’ve got to stop.”

    “Okay, Okay, I know when I’ve hit rock bottom.”

    “Gah! Stop! Okay, hair-dye is done.”

    “What’s that noise?”

    “It’s Mace coming back. Shh, shh.”

    “Right this way princess.”

    “Princess? Oh Sith! What about the bucket?”

    “Mace’ll go through the door first. It’ll be fine.”

    “After you princess.”

    “Oh no. What have we wrought?”

    “Namia! Taeyn! What the actual--“

    “Quick! Namia! Pun for your life!”
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2020
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha 2 Truths 1 Lie Host star 8 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I DID laugh, yes I did! 8-} Superb mix of the challenges!!!
     
  3. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    I don't care what the official judges say, you win this dare.
     
  4. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha and Kahara like this.
  5. Anedon

    Anedon Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 11, 2016
    Funny little story. :)
     
    Kahara and Kit' like this.
  6. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2004
    Oh. My. Goodness. This actually had me laughing out loud more than once! And I loved that you managed to write this for both the DARE challenge and the OTP challenge. That's just too awesome! Really, all the extra kudos and props for that! :D =D=

    The puns were so brilliant in this that I just couldn't! [face_rofl] [face_rofl]

    Oh no! :eek: Run indeed! [face_laugh] :oops:

    This was awesome! Thanks for sharing such a fun response to both challenges! =D=
     
  7. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 2005
    What a treat this was, kit! As a lover of word play myself and puns I found this highly interchanging and your use of the words fantastic. Bravo! :cool:

    Taeyn Is about to learn the law of unintended consequences. :D
     
    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha and Kahara like this.
  8. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    [face_rofl] [face_rofl] [face_rofl] Oh my gosh, what mega-hilarious punny fun this was! I just love a good pun, and wow, you really did an impressive job of packing them in--I am in awe. ^:)^ That plus the adorable banter plus a priceless prank that I bet the ultra-stressed Jedi students will be laughing about for years equals a fun romp like no other--amazing job combining the challenges, and thanks so much for sharing! =D=
     
    Kahara likes this.
  9. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 19, 2019
    Nice job! I was very impressed by the number of puns you could put into this:D
     
  10. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Thank you :) @};-

    I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was a lot of fun to write and the fact that it fit both challenges was just icing on the cake.

    Absolutely. You've now got a pissed off Mace, a pissed off but very attractive looking Qui-Gon :D:p and a probably very bewildered princess AND you've had far too much to drink to run very far at all. Taeyn and Namia are both in for a world of hurt!

    Thanks! It did become a challenge of just how many puns I could fit into one story. They've also been useful because I teach a kid who literally carries a pet rock around with her - so many puns have come out about that rock and taking life for granite [face_party][face_rofl]