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CT Rewriting the OT to suit the Prequels (humor)

Discussion in 'Classic Trilogy' started by Darth Downunder, Mar 25, 2016.

  1. WayoftheJedi

    WayoftheJedi Jedi Padawan star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 12, 2019
    LOL never thought of that .
     
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  2. WayoftheJedi

    WayoftheJedi Jedi Padawan star 2

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    Apr 12, 2019
    You are funny.I am laughing my ass off reading ur posts.“piss-ant planet „loool
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2019
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  3. Emperor Ferus

    Emperor Ferus Chosen One star 7

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    Jul 29, 2016
    On Tatooine:

    Obi-Wan: “Wait Luke, It’s too dangerous!”

    Luke takes off in his speeder


    Obi-Wan: “I hate it when he does that.”


    On the Millennium Falcon, Luke is training


    Luke: “You know, I did feel something this time.”

    Obi-Wan: “Only in your mind, my very young apprentice.”


    Again, on the Millennium Falcon:


    Han: “Angle the deflector shields while I calculate the jump to light speed.”


    Obi-Wan: “Blast! This is why I hate flying!”



    On the Death Star:

    Luke: “I want to go with you.”


    Obi-Wan: “Sith Lords are my speciality.”



    Palpatine and Vader face Luke on the Death Star.

    Palpatine: “We’ll take him together. Go in slowly from the left.”

    Vader: “I’m taking him now!”

    Charges Luke


    Palpatine: “No, Vader, no!”

    Luke Force-pushes Vader against the wall, knocking him down.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2019
  4. Emperor Ferus

    Emperor Ferus Chosen One star 7

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    Jul 29, 2016
    Vader to Luke, on Cloud City

    “You do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault again. He’s jealous, he’s holding you back just like he did with me.”
     
  5. BlackRanger

    BlackRanger Jedi Master star 3

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    Apr 14, 2018
    Obi-Wan: "Luke, you must go to the Dagobah system. There you will find Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed a Jedi you've never heard of, who instructed another Jedi you've never heard of, who instructed me."
     
  6. Emperor Ferus

    Emperor Ferus Chosen One star 7

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    Jul 29, 2016
    Obi-Wan to Luke in the cantina

    "Go find us a pilot."

    "Where are you going?"

    "For a drink."

    Obi-Wan cuts off Ponda Baba's arm.

    "Jedi business, go back to your drinks."
     
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  7. BlackRanger

    BlackRanger Jedi Master star 3

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    Apr 14, 2018
    Heh. That one sounds more like "rewriting the OT to suit Steven Spielberg's Minority Report".
     
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  8. Emperor Ferus

    Emperor Ferus Chosen One star 7

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    Jul 29, 2016
    Obi-Wan's hut on Tatooine.
    "My mentor taught me everything about the Force. Even the nature of the high ground."
    Artoo plays recording of the Mustafar battle.

    Luke ignites his father's lightsaber.
    "You killed my father."

    "I know what's been troubling you. Listen to me. Don't continue to be a pawn of your aunt and uncle! Ever since I've known you, you have been seeking a life of great significance, far more than any moisture farmer."

    Luke waves the lightsaber.

    Obi-Wan: "Are you going to kill me?"
    "I would certainly like to."

    "I know you would. I can feel your anger. It clouds your judgment, makes you weaker."

    "I'm going to turn you over to the Empire."
     
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  9. Emperor Ferus

    Emperor Ferus Chosen One star 7

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    Jul 29, 2016
    Han, points to stormtroopers in cantina.

    "Looks like somebody's beginning to take an interest in your handiwork."

    Obi-Wan:
    "Do you have a plan B?"
     
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  10. Emperor Ferus

    Emperor Ferus Chosen One star 7

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    Jul 29, 2016
    Obi-Wan encounters Vader on the Death Star:

    Vader: You may have forgotten me, but I will never forget you.

    Later:

    Vader: And they call you Master.

    Obi-Wan: You know, when I cut off your limbs, I should have aimed for your neck instead.

    Vader: Anything more to say?

    Obi-Wan: I like your new legs. They make you look taller.
     
  11. starbuck_archer

    starbuck_archer Jedi Knight star 1

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    Jul 23, 2019
    Obi-Wan: He was the best star pilot in the galaxy...And by that, I mean he was a whiny petulant child who thought the galaxy owed him something. He challenged my teachings not out of wisdom, but out of fear. In the end, his own hubris did him, and I had to cut his legs and arm off and hope he burned alive on Malastare. Oh...yeah...and he was a good friend.

    It's a deleted scene, but Garven Dreis (Red Leader), tells Luke he flew with his father.

    Garven Dreis: I flew with your father at the head of a slave-army of Clones. We used them like disposable people using mass-wave tactics that pre-date faster-than-light travel. He also had this semi-charming/semi-annoying apprentice with him named Ashoka Tano. Not only was the Republic enslaving our "clone troopers", but children as young as General Tano were participating with full knowledge of what we were doing. To put it as Finis Valorum would have "Yoda and I were common flesh-traders."
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2019
  12. Darth Downunder

    Darth Downunder Chosen One star 6

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    Aug 5, 2001
  13. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

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    Jun 12, 2014
    Yoda: Do not underestimate the powers of the Emperor or he'll use Force lightning on you.
     
  14. BlackRanger

    BlackRanger Jedi Master star 3

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    Apr 14, 2018
    "Obi-Wan once thought as you do. For about five seconds."
     
  15. FightoftheForgotten

    FightoftheForgotten Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    May 19, 2020
    BOBA FETT: What if he doesn't survive. He's worth a lot to me.

    VADER: Whoa. Don't lose your head.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2020
  16. AEHoward33

    AEHoward33 Jedi Master star 4

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    Aug 11, 2019
    There are aspects of the entire saga (the OT included) that I would actually rewrite.
     
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  17. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

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    Jun 12, 2014
    Darth Vader: When I left you, I was but a learned, now I am the master.
    Obi-Wan: Have you forgotten that the council didn't grant you the rank of master?
     
  18. Afro1256

    Afro1256 Jedi Knight

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2015
    I’ve been reading the Making Return of the Jedi book that was released a few years ago and it gave me some ideas. My updates would probably make the film a bit longer but it would be my version of Snyders Justice League cut.
    • I’d put Luke’s lightsaber scene back in before we cut to Jabba’s palace.
    • I’d have Mara Jade undercover as a dancer in Jabba’s palace. Unlike in the EU she’s not here to kill Luke but spy on him - to help the Emperor decide if Luke is worth making his new apprentice.
    • I’d use the old music for the dance scene in the palace but have the dance as a background, while Mara Jade tries to get info about Luke with the focus sometimes turning on Oola and Jabba.
    • I’d of quite liked a scene where Jabba and Leia have an argument after she’s made a slave.
    • When Luke chokes the guards I’d maybe make it a bit more brutal and raw - maybe have them thrown into the walls as well.
    • Luke uses the force to activate the trap door on the Rancor rather than throw a stone.
    • Leia gets ignored by everyone while a slave, I’d of liked Luke telling her he’s got it under control when he’s being taken to the barge. Maybe have Jabba torment Han by saying how much he’s enjoying have Leia by his side.
    • Boba Fett and Luke should of had a skirmish on top of the barge. Showcase both of their skills before Luke forces him into retreat.
      I’d also like to have a moment like Vader in Rogue One where he just destroys a load of Jabba’s men.
    • Replace Ewoks with Wookies.
    • I never felt that any of the heroes were going to die, I wouldn’t kill any of them but I’d make it look far more likely that one of them was going to die.
    • I’d slightly refine Luke and Vader’s fight to look a bit more like the prequel trilogy. Have more force powers used in the duel.
    • Vader no longer screams no at the end.
    • Not allow Disney to make a terrible sequel trilogy.
     
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  19. BlackRanger

    BlackRanger Jedi Master star 3

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    Apr 14, 2018
    Vader: "I AM the council!"
     
  20. FightoftheForgotten

    FightoftheForgotten Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    May 19, 2020
    OBI-WAN: Only a council of evil, Darth.
     
  21. BlackRanger

    BlackRanger Jedi Master star 3

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    Apr 14, 2018
    "When I left you I was but the learner. Now it is you who are the learner... because for some reason you still think 'Darth' is a first name."
     
  22. FightoftheForgotten

    FightoftheForgotten Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    May 19, 2020
    "My apologies, Ani."
     
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  23. BlackRanger

    BlackRanger Jedi Master star 3

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    Apr 14, 2018
    LUKE: "Wait, who's Annie? Is she hot? Can I ask her out?"
     
  24. christophero30

    christophero30 Chosen One star 9

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    May 18, 2017
    Ani singing the suns will come out tomorrow.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2020
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  25. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

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    Jun 12, 2014
    Palpatine singing "Easy Street. Anakin is the key."

    :p

    Edit: even more appropriate given that Tim Curry played Rooster in the 1982 version of Annie and later voices Palpatine.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2020
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