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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

PT Rewriting the Prequels...

Discussion in 'Prequel Trilogy' started by swrescripted, Jan 23, 2013.

  1. darth-sinister

    darth-sinister Manager Emeritus star 10 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2001
    Right and in the PT, they have a friendship that evolved into a romance over a few days. You're still peers whether there's a five year age difference like in the PT, and in the OT where they are ten years between them.
     
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  2. dagenspear

    dagenspear Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2015
    There's a whole different maturity level between them in TPM that has no natural evolution from one movie to another with AOTC. Anakin is a child. Padme is a teen. They have no emotional/physical resonance in common. The point being that there's a more closely peer related dynamic to allow AOTC to build on. In the case of the OT, Han's age is never given in those original movies, but Leia and Han are far closer in maturity level, emotionally and physically that allows for a seed of romance to be more naturally planted in even ANH, with Han admiring her spirit and wondering about the idea of a princess and a guy like him.

    This isn't the only change about their relationship in this pitch. It's just the most showy one. The other is the idea that Padme and Anakin have kept in contact over the years, but not seeing eachother. This allows for their relationship to be more like a friendship that upon being together physically, blossoms into romantic love.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2023
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  3. CLee

    CLee Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2017
    For TPM I like Padme being 14 but Anakin would probably be better, for less of quite such a huge gap, as 11-12.
     
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  4. darth-sinister

    darth-sinister Manager Emeritus star 10 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2001
    But it takes away from his obsession with her and his inability to let go of the past. Which is connected to his mother. Both women are on his mind, but because he cannot see them, it intensifies his attachment to them.
     
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  5. dagenspear

    dagenspear Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2015
    I think that's debatable. It's better for the overall connection and character interactions, to me, if it has this.
     
  6. DarkGingerJedi

    DarkGingerJedi Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2012
    Maybe something like:

    Have had the Clone Wars start just as Anakin arrives on Coruscant. The two events happen at the same time. He is found and arrives in war. Instead of having a Trade Federation embargo/blockade that gets solved in one movie, the Separatist Union threatens to officially leave the Republic and so the Senate attempts to keep them from leaving. You don't need taxes and such. Just Palpatine is secretly trying to start a war. Simplify the story a bit.

    • Movie opens with QGJ and OWK who's current mission is to escort Queen Amidala back home safely to Naboo. Coruscant is becoming too dangerous. The mission is relatively simple but not without danger. Lately a growing number of high-ranking dignitaries and Republic officials have been kidnapped by Separatist mercs, and so the Jedi are sent to protect their travels. Suddenly both have a bad feeling about this. Just then their ship comes under attack and they're forced to land on nearby Tatooine.

    • In the nearby space port they find a young teen slave-boy named Anakin who offers to help them. Desperate to get off world and back to Coruscant, the pair ask if their ship can be repaired here. QGJ - with the help of Anakin's technical skills - manages to send a simple message to the Council informing them of their status, telling them that the Queen came under attack but is alive and safe, and they're repairing their ship.

    • At night, the merc shows up at their empty wrecked ship. He scans the horizon and sees the glowing lights of the far off spaceport. He sends a message back to his master. We then see a hooded figure, on some other distant world, instruct the merc to execute her, and kill the Jedi.

    • We still get the pod race, QGJ notices how strong in the force the boy is, and is now determined to take him back to the Council. After winning the race, freeing him, and leaving his mom, it's then that they are attacked by the merc again. Only this time they realize it's a Sith Lord. There's almost a fight, but QGJ escapes and their ships flies off.

    • Word gets back to Coruscant about the Queen coming under attack. Senator Palpatine's offers a solution to make an alliance with the usually stubbornly neutral Kamonians and use clones to fight the Separatists. There hasn't been a full scale war in the Republic for ages, and his militaristic approach is met with disbelief and concern. We see bureaucratic squabbling among the Senators, and Palpatine's plan gains support. But nothing happens.

    • QGJ, OWK, Anakin and Amidala all arrive on Coruscant. Palpatine is there to greet them and offers them his sincere thanks for protecting his Queen. He tells them that he will not let this personal attack stand. They immediately meet with the council and Anakin is tested. They determine that although Anakin is gifted, he will not be accepted due to his age, and attachment for his mother. They order him to be taken back home at ––

    • Just then we see explosions going off in the far distance. The Senate building and city are under attack! Yoda and Mace order everyone to protect the city. We get a huge sky battle involving Coruscant troops and Jedi fighters. Maul shows up on Coruscant and QGJ and OWK deal them him. QGJ dies. OWK kills Maul. And then promises to train the boy. The Separatists are barely fought off, but Coruscant rejoices.

    • Because of the attack, Palpatine's plan is almost unanimously approved and he's made Chancellor. Luckily he's already started working with the Kamonians...of course. Knowing that a Sith Lord was definitely involved, after a thousand years of silence, Yoda and the council cautiously decide that Anakin can be trained. It's now too dangerous not to train to him. They all sense a growing dark side now. Begun the clone wars have.

    EP 2 takes place on Coruscant, Geonosis, and Naboo. Coruscant and Naboo are both more militarized. The war has come to Naboo. Maybe here we meet the gunguns. Amidala tries to forge an alliance with their underwater neighbors to help defend the planet.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2023
  7. SateleNovelist11

    SateleNovelist11 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2015
    I think Attack of the Clones is different from The Phantom Menace and Revenge of the Sith for two reasons. The latter two are more linear stories, and you can explore different worlds and get the message of those movies overnight. The problem with Attack of the Clones is that it's a bunch of young characters and older ones getting way too obsessed over things (relationships, politics, war, etc) and even Palpatine is dumbed down into a brainless Frank Underwood at times. But he's having to manipulate Jar Jar, so it's not a big deal. Kind of makes you feel bad for Jar Jar, however. TCW handled Jar Jar much better.

    Anyhow, the main thing I would change is the Yoda vs. Dooku fight. The Palpatine vs. Yoda fight makes a lot more sense in the film and the comic book and the, um, novelization. Tells the story properly. The quandary with AOTC here is that we don't really know much about Yoda and Dooku/Tyranus until Yoda tells Dooku, "Fought well you have, my old Padawan." Then he's like, "This is just the beginning, daddy." That stuff should've been at the front of the movie. Have Dooku and Yoda talk about it with Obi-Wan or with Palpatine or whoever. That would make more sense. Dooku has been corrupted by fascism, and he's obsessed with trying to perfect the galaxy. Great. Just talk about that in the movie and not in a comic book or a novel. Plain and simple. You can see why Qui-Got would have disagreed with Dooku.

    So, anyhow, that's the main thing. But Yoda vs. Darth Tyranus is actually well done. Just put the wizard's duel after the martial duel. Plain and simple. Lucas and his crew did a great job of showing how Yoda has all this power but can burn out fast, and Dooku has a similar dilemma, but not quite as extensive as Yoda has it. That's all well and grand. Just tell the duel in a more realistic order. Yoda's desire to save Anakin and Obi-Wan is one of the more moving decisions in the movie besides Anakin's choice to help Padme. Padme is actually very capable on her own and there's an argument that this ridiculous battle sequence slideshow on Geonosis distracted her. Anakin, Dooku, Obi-Wan, the Jedi, the Separatists, the Greek mythological monsters, and everyone else is way too overblown. The basic sequence is fine. It just ought to have been toned down and made more subtle. Nothing wrong with making a Pirates of the Carribbean style gladiator fight followed by a battle and a few duels. Just explain the context to the audience in a straightforward matter, and say this is the Republic vs. the Separatists and it's a case of who's manipulating who. And put that at the front of the movie.

    Otherwise, AOTC is a pretty good story. It's a tragedy on many levels. But it required multiple EU stories before and after it and a novelization for young adults and a novelization for general folks to explain it. Heh. I actually like it, but I think Lucas was trying to do too many things. In contrast, George was able to explain what was going on in TPM and ROTS quite well. I actually think that TPM and ROTS have more in common than most are aware. It's just that AOTC is an awkward middle chapter and it needed more context within its own film.
     
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  8. DarkGingerJedi

    DarkGingerJedi Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2012
    Idea for AOTC (continued from my post above)

    The Clone Wars have raged for 10 years, spreading over all corners of the galaxy. Anakin is now about 23-24, a full fledged knight.

    The Separatist Union, now led by Count Dooku - a former Jedi Master who left the Order - have set up a blockade on the Republic word of Naboo, home of Senator Amidala (who is there visiting). If the world falls to the Separatists it would turn the tide of the war against the Republic. In fact, public sentiment against the Jedi and the war is at a low. The entire first act would be a land battle to free the planet, where we see the Jedi and Clones, along with the help of the Gunguns, fight off the Droid Army. Anakin defies orders and rushes to save Padme personally. The citizens of Naboo treat him like a savior.

    I would also make the Jedi look like their clone war armored selves. I love this look.
    [​IMG]

    Once the planet is secured, there's a celebration. Although it's the first time Anakin and Padme have seen each other in years, it's clear that the two have a bond/relationship. We learn that they've been sending messages to each other since the start of the war in secret.

    However, the party doesn't last long. We get a holo-briefing scene. The Council informs them their spies have discovered that Dooku has fled to Geonosis, one of the many factory worlds building the Droid armies. Chancellor Palpatine instructs the Council to send OWK to capture Dooku. Anakin is told to stay on Naboo and guard the Senator.

    Middle act is Anakin and Padme falling in love on Naboo. There he has dreams of his mother in pain. He finally has enough and he and Padme leave for Tatooine, once again defying his orders. We see Anakin attack and kill the Tuskins, but his mother dies in his arms. He admits to Padme that he feels rage, which is not the way of the Jedi, and that he doesn't like being a Jedi anymore. That he is tired of his war and just wants to settle down, have a family.

    Meanwhile OWK reaches Geonosis. He discovers plans for the next stage of super droids, and realizes that the template to the Clones, that they have been leading and fighting with for 10 years, is an Mandalorian assassin named Jango Fett, who is also on Geonisis. The Mandalorians are old enemies of the Jedi. Nothing makes sense, but before he can figure anything out he is quickly captured and imprisoned. Dooku meets with him privately and tries to get him to join his side. He tells of the corruption in the Republic, that the Jedi are too involved in politics, and that even QGJ would have joined them. OWK doesn't disagree. Dooku then reveals that he is a Sith Lord now and that they have infiltrated the Senate. He warns OWK that it won't be long now before this "war" is all over.

    The last act would take place on Geonisis. Anakin learns that OWK is there and needs help. Similar battle to the movie. Anakin is seen as this amazing hero. The Clones love following him. Once the battle is over, Anakin and OWK duel Dooku. Anakin loses an arm. Dooku gets away...again.

    Once the battle is over, Anakin tells OWK that he's had enough. He's quitting the Order. OWK is in absolute disbelief. He's angry that Anakin is giving up his oaths to his brotherhood. That they need him now more than ever. Anakin refuses and tells him about his anger. His dreams. And then OWK realizes that his padawan is in love and he's choosing her over them.

    OWK remits the news to the Council. Yoda and Mace know that Anakin has defied the Order multiple times, they sense his anger, and fear still, and think it's for the best. OWK also tells them what Dooku told them, that the clones originate from Jango, who was there, fighting for the Separatists, and now they don't know who to even trust in the Senate anymore. They have to be guarded from now on.

    Final scene is Anakin and Padme getting married and living on Tatooine with his new family.
     
  9. eagle_gt

    eagle_gt Jedi Padawan

    Registered:
    Oct 9, 2021
    I think my changes would be:

    Episode 1:
    Opening crawl establishes that the galaxy has been at peace, the Jedi have largely withdrawn to the temple to study the ways of the force and the senate handles most disputes. Naboo has had an unexpected change in leadership (establish elsewhere that the royal line has terminated in an “accident” and the rules of succession have plucked distant relative Padme from the commoners to become queen). The trade federation is falsely claiming Naboo has violated trade treaties as a pretense for a blockade to try and force the new queen to sign a new treaty more favorable to the trade federation. The chancellor has asked one of the few Jedi that still travels the galaxy seeking to help others to help negotiate.

    Much of the movie would stay the same. Maybe tone down the jar jar slapstick some. Jar Jar would be an outcast from his people not because of being a clumsy fool, but for political reasons: he disagrees with their isolationist policies. Anakin would be about 14.

    episode 2
    2 years after episode 1. Padme has ended the monarchy on Naboo and been elected senator. Anakin has already outpaced all the other Padawans his age. Story proceeds similarly to the movie with some added dialogue between Anakin and Padme establishing that the Jedi are not allowing him to go back to his mother. Count Dooku doesn’t openly use the dark side or a red lightsaber so that it is ambiguous if he is good or bad.

    Episode 3 about 7 years after episode 2. Dooku now has his red lightsaber. Notable difference in the number of Jedi in the temple, now it is almost empty. Movie plays out much the same.

    Clone wars cartoon would emphasize that the clone wars were unpopular on the home front, really devastating on the ranks of the Jedi, few Jedi were truly capable combat commanders with Anakin/Obiwan being two of the best, the Jedi council isn’t very aggressive in leading the war which makes Anakin angry because he feels they are needlessly prolonging the war by not allowing decisive victories.

    Overall things would be about the same. I would really emphasize that Anakin believes that the republic should be strong enough to bring justice to the Galaxy. His fall would be driven by trying to become powerful enough/make the republic powerful enough to protect those important to him.
     
  10. DarkGingerJedi

    DarkGingerJedi Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2012
    Rewrite for ROTS (following from my rewrites for EP 1 & 2)

    Act 1: 2 years later, the clone wars are still raging. Many Jedi have died. Chancellor Palpatine has been kidnapped by Grevious. Dooku has demanded a treaty be signed by the Republic or else. OWK is tasked with rescuing the Chancellor. He organizes a rescue party, but feels he needs one more knight. An old friend.

    OWK arrives on Tatooine, and we see a small familiar homestead. Anakin and Padme answer. Anakin seems uneasy. OWK explains the situation and begs Anakin to return for just this one mission to save the Republic, democracy, itself. Anakin tells OWK that Padme is expecting a child and that he can't leave now. He's been having nightmares about the war.

    That night Anakin has another nightmare about Padme dying. OWK and Padme speak privately. We see that Padme has actually been organizing a secret group of Senators who feel that the Chancellor has centralized too much power. Anakin doesn't know about this. The next morning, Anakin tells OWK that he'll help. The two meet up with the other Jedi and race off to infiltrate the armada. Anakin and OWK fight off Dooku. Just like in the movie, Anakin captures him and Palpatine encourages him to kill him. Anakin's anger overcomes him. He kills Dooku.

    On Coruscant, there's a celebration as Palpatine arrives. He speaks with Anakin privately in his office and asks if he will consider being his personal bodyguard. Palps says he doesn't trust the Jedi anymore and that he was right to leave them. They've grown corrupt. Just like the Senate. They're blind to the horrors of the galaxy. And the clones do most of the real fighting now. He then says that he has information that reveals that this entire war is nothing but a Jedi charade, a quest for more political power, run by Jedi and ... former Jedi. Anakin responds "I'd like to help you. I agree that the Jedi have lost their way. But I can't. I have to get back to my real family". Palpatine smiles...he's disappointed but accepts.

    Act 2: Yoda is still on the frontline and sends OWK on a mission to capture the Grevious. He says goodbye to Anakin. Thanks him for his help once again and hopes to see him soon. In the Senate, there's a motion to force Palpatine to leave office. Senator Amidala stands and makes an impassioned plea for removing Palpatine, but it falls on deaf ears. The room is filled with cheers as they celebrate Palpatine's reign. As Padme leaves the pods, Anakin greets her outside. "Stand down?". He tells her that Palpatine is the only one keeping everything together. He cares. Padme is astonished. Argues that he's been in power for 12 years now. That they need new leadership. That they need the Jedi to protect the galaxy again. Anakin laughs and tells her that he's glad they'll be going home soon. Padme says "You had your last mission. This one is mine. I can't yet".

    OWK finds Grevious and there's a big chase.

    Palpatine meets with the Jedi Council. (Yoda by hologram) Palpatine insists that there are still so many worlds that need to be freed. In no small part to the Jedi failures of course. He also states that from now on a liaison will speak to them and chooses Anakin, as someone impartial. That night Palps tells Anakin that he has evidence of a major coverup. The Jedi have been hiding the truth that Dooku was once a Jedi. They kept it a secret because if the public found out it would be bad for them. That they have dragged the galaxy into their Jedi war. Anakin is visibly upset. They never told him. Never trusted him with this info. Palpatine tells him he seems troubled. Anakin reveals that he's had visions of Padme dying. Palpatine nods and says "So do I, and we can save her Anakin by ending all of this. I need your help, son".

    OWK and Grevious fight, and he tells OWK that the whole war is a lie. That Dooku isn't really in charge. That the Sith master is actually someone high up in the Senate and has been controlling everything. OWK asks him why he's telling him this. Grevious laughs and says ... because I was told to. OWK reports back to Yoda and Mace and inform him of the news. Yoda senses the dark side around Palpatine. He must have something to do with this, and if he doesn't we'll need to inform him. Mace decides to visit his office.

    In Palps office we get the scene where he's telling Anakin about the legend of Plagueis. About how all powerful people fear losing something. Tells him that the Sith have long fought the Jedi, and that there's very little difference, except the Sith have conquered their fears, whereas the Jedi continue to lie about it. Tells him they fear the dark side, whereas the Sith embrace it.

    Mace and some other Jedi enter Palps office. He tells Anakin to step away from the Chancellor and join him, but Anakin now refuses. Palpatine tells Anakin "I told you. They're here to arrest me. They're trying to take over. That's what this war was all about." Anakin wants know why they're here to arrest Palpatine. We then get a similar scene when Mace tries to arrest/attack Palpatine, but Anakin blocks him and then chops his arms off. Anakin is angry at Mace for making him do this. Palpatine stands up and reveals who he really is. Tells Anakin that the Jedi have abused their power. But together he and Palpatine can bring order back to this galaxy. Promises to teach him real power. The power to save those you love from death". Palpatine shoots lightning at Mace, frying him. The window breaks and he falls to his death.

    Act 3: Yoda senses the dark side from a far. Anakin falls to his knees and feels remorse. Palpatine walks over "You've done the right thing, my friend. It was hard, but you have chosen to be more powerful than the Jedi ever would have let you. I have removed your leash. The dark side will free you. I will teach you to become what you're destined to be", Anakin asks to be trained and pledges his loyalty to him. Palpatine dubs him Darth Vader and commands him to arrest the Jedi at the temple. That they're all traitors now and must be round up. Kill them if you must. Palpatine activates Order 66 and Vader leaves. We get a montage of clones turning fire on the Jedi. Palpatine addresses the Senate, declares the jedi traitors, and the Empire is born.

    Vader and a brigade of troopers enter the Temple. They begin arresting and slaughtering the Jedi. Yoda and OWK hear the Jedi Temple beacon and return to Coruscant.

    The rest of the movie follows pretty close to what we get. Vader visits Padme and they have a fight. He tells her to wait in the apartment until this is over and that he's secured their future, but he has been ordered to Mustafar to round up the last Separatists. Yoda and OWK find out what happened in their absence. They meet up with Bail and make a plan. Yoda confronts Palpatine. OWK goes after Vader.

    [​IMG]

    All the stuff on Mustafar is the same. He chokes Padme. He absolutely hates OWK. Not just for the Jedi lies. But for personally dragging him back into this mess. But now has no choice but end this his way. Maybe a shorter duel. More grounded, less insane jumping and tarzan stuff. OWK cuts Vader down. Palpatine rescues him. Vader montage. Padme funeral. End with OWK handing over baby Luke to the Lars.
     
  11. CLee

    CLee Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2017
    Do you think it would have been better, worse or not made much difference to have learned more concrete on Palpatine's past and background? Like he definitely really did have a loved one who died or he grew up poor and neglected and that was why he wanted to get power?
     
  12. DarkGingerJedi

    DarkGingerJedi Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2012
    None. It's not really his story. He's set up as pure evil. Just like the wicked witch in the story who tempts the hero. Although, I like it better when Palpatine is just a really powerful force user, and brilliant politician who took advantage of the corruption and saw a way to impose his rule over the galaxy. And less that he's some near-force deity, omnipotent, has 300 back up plans, and can return from the dead ... somehow.
     
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  13. noiamyourFADAH

    noiamyourFADAH Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 30, 2023
    i definitely agree with this
     
  14. No Qui Gon No Dooku, Obi Wan is the one who find Anakin, the Clones are Not Boba Fett Dad Clones, Tarkin and Owen Lars appear in the PT more, Yoda was Obi Wan Master, Ashka Boda is the Jedi Grand Master Not Yoda or Mace Windu
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2023
  15. VENGEANCE2022

    VENGEANCE2022 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2022
    You want them to be characters and not just action figures getting smashed together?
     
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  16. dagenspear

    dagenspear Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2015
    They're characters, but they don't get much of any exploration of their relationship, I think moreso just the idea that one exists, in that movie.
     
  17. SateleNovelist11

    SateleNovelist11 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2015
    Precisely. ;)
     
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  18. CLee

    CLee Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2017
    I didn't get enough sense that Dooku even was, previously, and ostensibly still, an idealist and how that went wrong.
     
  19. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    I agree with that.
     
  20. dagenspear

    dagenspear Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2015
    Within the movie itself, he speaks on the corruption within the senate. But I think I know what you mean. I do think these elements all could've been explored more in that movie.
     
  21. VENGEANCE2022

    VENGEANCE2022 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2022
    None of that is necessary though. It may be what George wanted to do. But it's not necessary to tell the story about how a good person goes bad.
     
  22. dagenspear

    dagenspear Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2015
    But I think it does work with the story as a parallel to Luke, in comparing and contrasting their relationships with those they care about and how they choose to operate.
     
  23. DarthStarkiller144

    DarthStarkiller144 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2023
    WARNING: LONG POST

    [​IMG]



    World-Building:

    • The prophecy of the Son of the Suns: Yoda discovered the "Journal of the Whills", an ancient Journal that stated that a savior, named "The Son of the Suns", would destroy the evil forces of the Force. Yoda formed a team of Jedi Masters and powerful politicians and senators who searched for years for the Chosen One, swearing to protect him from The Sith who wanted to control the Chosen One and use him to rule the Galaxy. Eventually, the members of Yoda's team were all killed and Yoda decided to stop the Search.

    • The Clone Wars were a deadly conflict that occurred 35 years before a New Hope and started 10 years before Episode 1 (and is raging throughout the entire trilogy). The Clone Wars were fought between the "Dark Worlds Alliances", Alliance of Mobsters, War-Lords, Mandalorian Lords, and corrupt aristocrats that submitted their loyalty to the Sith Order, an ancient Order that serves as a foil to the Jedi Order and uses forbidden ways of the Force. The Sith has under their command the Clone Masters, led by Atha Prime from Arkaan. The Clone Masters created the Sith's Clone Army, which consists of Mandalorian soldiers and Aliens. The Dark Worlds' main goal was to remake the Galaxy by the Mandalorian ways, believing that the Republic is weak and passive. Think of an allegory to the Nazis or how the US views China during these days.

    • The Clone Wars led to the fall of the Democratic party in the Old Republic and to the rise of the Imperial Party, led by Da**** Palpatine and his right-hand man, the militaristic Admiral Tarkin. Palpatine used the Public's fear and managed to be elected as President. (Think of Richard Nixon or Trump's rise to power)

    • The Sith Order: "The Dark Jedi Knights are the Knights of the Sith Order..but they are not Lords of the Sith..there can only be one Sith Lord, an ancient lineage of Emperors. They reside on the secret Planet of Korriban, but the last Emperor was defeated generations ago, and the Jedi Masters lost their access to Korriban. Most of them don’t even know if this Planet is real..”
      • There can only be one Lord of the Sith, the Emperor of the Sith. There was an ancient lineage of Emperors, each time a Dark Jedi overthrew his Emperor and took over the throne of Korriban, therefore becoming the new Sith Emperor.

      • The Sith Apprentice is a Dark Jedi Knight and a Knight of the Sith Order.
    • The last known Sith Emperor was Darth Valorum (who will be later revealed to be Palpatine's old Master)

    • The Jedi Order consists of Masters, Knights, and Apprentices. Masters are involved with the Senate, and Knights and Apprentices are fighting on the frontlines. An Apprentice is becoming a Knight when he manages to construct his own Lightsaber.
      • The Grand Master of the Jedi Order is Albus Terrek while Yoda is beyond the Order and serves as an advisor. His last apprentice was Obi-Wan
    ------------

    • The Dark Worlds Alliances, led by the Dark Jedi Knight Darth Maul, enslaved the Planet of Alderaan; one of the elite Planets of the Old Republic. Prince Bail Organa and his future wife, Lady Nellith Valerian, escape to Coruscant.
      • Nellith Valerian is a member of ther Alderaanian aristocracy
    • We are introduced to our main hero, Anakin Skywalker (19 years old). Anakin is an orphan slave on Tatooine, owned by the Hutts. He is bullied by the local bully Brotus and Brotus' gang. Anakin is naive, innocent and a good-hearted boy much like Luke in Episode 4, but with some key flaws such as a hot temper, rebellious nature, abandonment issues and can sometimes get a bit arrogant, also like Luke in the Original Star Wars or his Canon version in Episode 2; For example, Anakin rushes to fight against Brotus, who easily beats him and humiliates him in front of everyone. Anakin's arc in Episode 1 is a clear allegory to Luke Skywalker in Episode 4 and King Arthur; Joseph Campbell's Hero's journey. A key theme in Anakin's arc, throughout the entire trilogy, is destiny; Anakin lost his mother when he was 9 years old, but always remembers that she promised him that he is destined to be someone special, therefore he is desperate to be someone special like his mother believed him to be; he believes that this his destiny. Owen manages to keep him on the ground and Anakin, desperate, agrees with Owen's wishes: once Anakin buys his freedom, he will be a farmer on Owen and Beru's farm. This is his destiny
      • Anakin is discovered by Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi. The two quickly sense the Force within him; but Anakin's best friend, Owen Lars, tries to keep them away from him. Anakin rejects the call for an adventure at first (most like every classic monomyth hero), but after trusting Qui-Gon and with his advice barley winning the pod-race against Brotus (after Brotus tries to kill Anakin on the race), Anakin accepts the call. Anakin is freed from slavery by the two Jedi.

      • They believe him to be the Son of the Suns. While the three arrive on Coruscant, Anakin experiences the Elite Planet, Coruscant, for the first time.

      • Anakin falls in love with Nellith Valerian. Their romance is classic; Two teens at the same age from different backgrounds, are starting a forbidden romance. Anakin is the heroic, noble hero while Nellith is the beautiful Lady that feels "enslaved" by the Alderaanian aristocracy. They connect with each other and eventually kisses at EP1's final

      • Qui-Gon becomes Anakin's father figure, while Obi-Wan becomes his best friend and believes in him. Anakin also connects with President Palpatine, who inspires him to trust his feelings.

      • Anakin is essentially rejected by the Jedi Order because of his age, but after Qui-Gon is killed by Darth Maul, he is accepted into the Order as Obi-Wan's Jedi Apprentice
    • Darth Maul, our main villain, is the leader of the Dark Worlds Alliances Mandalorian Clone Army. He is a terrifying Dark Jedi Knight who is seemingly invincible; he hunts down Republican Soldiers and Jedi Knights, the Dark Worlds' council members are completely terrified of him.

    • Other memorable villains are the Clone Master Atha Prime, The War-Lord Vollul Collaikrunn and the Mandalorian Clone Army.

    • Memorable supporting characters are Prince Bail Organa who is a close friend of Obi-Wan and already fought alongside him during the War, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's Alien sidekick Riku, Bail Organa's father, King Val Organa, and other Republican soldiers, Jedi Masters and Knights that are introduced throughout the trilogy.

    • Yoda has a small appearance at the end, accepting Anakin into the Order and promising to Obi-Wan that he will watch out for him. Yoda's role in the trilogy is minor; he is mainly there as an advisor to Obi-Wan and sometimes to Anakin.

    • It is discovered that Maul is planning to construct the Death Star.

    • Episode 2 pick up 4 years after Episode 1, Anakin is a Young Jedi Apprentice that his heading towards the trials of Knighthood. Obi-Wan is as well a leader of the Knights and is fighting for the House of Organa. Obi-Wan and Anakin became brothers in arms; War heroes.

    • Meanwhile, we see a glimpse of how Palpatine took more and more powers throughout the War, and is now promising to order the Largest Clone Army from the Clone Masters of the Arkaan systems, but it will only be possible with the Emergency power acts. The Jedi Masters try to stop this at all cost, while Anakin actually finds himself closer to Palpatine's ideology then the Jedi.

    • We see how Palpatine is tempting Anakin; for example, he gives him and Nellith a high-class apartment for free and is pushing for his Knighthood. It's also becoming clear that Anakin is closer to the hawkish ideology of the Imperial Party then the passive ideology of the Jedi Masters. This is also because Palpatine took Qui-Gon's role as the father figure in Anakin's life. Obi-Wan is full of himself that he trained Anakin as well as Yoda and is pushing for Anakin's Knighthood, ignoring Albus Terrek's warnings

    • Yoda serves a minor role as an advisor to Anakin and Obi-Wan, while Grand Master Albus Terrek and Master Valen are the main Masters.

    • We see Sidious manipulating Maul and fleshing out Maul's past: He is basically a dark mirror to Anakin, as he was once a slave as well and was freed by the Sith, believed to be the Starkiller, the Sith's Chosen One.

    • After several killing attempts at Nellith and Bail's life, Obi-Wan is hired to protect Bail while Anakin is hired to protect Nellith.

    • Darth Maul sends a team of bounty hunters after Anakin: It is discovered that Maul's Master, the new Sith Emperor, suspects Anakin to be the Sith's Chosen One: the Starkiller. Maul promises to destroy Anakin and prove himself to be worthy of his destiny. Anakin and Maul's arcs mirror each other as the two are after a destiny that was promised to them by someone else.

    • Anakin's flaws are highlighted: He seeks for revenge against Maul for killing Qui-Gon, which leads to a clash with Obi-Wan: Obi-Wan wants to bring Maul to justice, Anakin wants him dead, supported by Palpatine. Anakin's attitude is causing the Jedi Masters to be worried and wonder if he is ready for Knighthood. Another flaw of Anakin that is explored is his lack of ability to let go; he just can't let go which would eventually lead to his fall.

    • Eventually, Anakin and Nellith crash on the Planet of Nelvaan, a Planet that was enslaved by Maul. The Nelvaan arc is what truly challenges Anakin and send him towards the Dark Side: He experiences the horrors of the War in a way that effected him the most: slavery and his destiny. In Nelvaan, Anakin is declared to be the Ghost Hand: the savior of the Nelvaanian tribe from their village's destined hunter (which is Maul), which gives another dimension to Anakin and Maul's rivarly.

    • In Nelvaan, Anakin unlocks his demons, uses the Dark Side for the first time and eventually abandons the Jedi way, which is concluded as he promises to Nellith that he will leave the Order for her, as inspired by Palpatine. Anakin develops an "all meanings possible" attitude, he will do everything it takes to bring peace, order, and justice, in his own way; even if opposed to the Jedi.

    • Obi-Wan and Bail are on the Planet of Byss, a Planet of the Dark Worlds. They partner there with a bounty hunter named Spar, who promises to help the two if he will be paid. The three discovers about the construction of the Death Star by the Clone Masters' team led by Atha Prime. Spar eventually betrays Kenobi and Bail, revealing that he used them so he can kill his competitors.

    • Anakin, horrified that he might lose another loved one, rejects the Jedi's instructions and goes to save Obi-Wan by himself, with Palpatine giving him a squad under his command for the mission. Anakin again proves himself to be unable to let go of his loved ones and do everything in his own way no matter what. The Battle of Byss starts.

    • Anakin and Maul eventually face each other in a deadly duel: Anakin, despite tapping into the Dark Side, loses. Maul reveals the horrible truth: The Son of the Suns prophecy is wrong, and the true prophecy is Valorum's prophecy; The Starkiller.

    • As the Battle of Byss ends, the Republic manages to take over the Death Star plans. Palpatine is granted the emergency powers and reshapes the Republic into "The Empire".

    • Anakin is Knighted, constructing his own Lightsaber, but feels..conflicted. Something is wrong

    • Anakin, finally feeling that his destiny is not to be a Jedi, goes to his father figure: Palpatine. After seeing the horrible effect of the War, Anakin vows to bring order to the Galaxy at all costs: By his own ways. Anakin becomes Palpatine's right hand man, and Palpatine gives Anakin private command over the Imperial Clone Army. At the time between the Episode 2 and 3, Anakin, with the support of his new ally Palpatine, will hunt down every person who is opposing the Empire. He is willing to abandon the Jedi ways so he can bring peace, order and safety under the President and the Empire

    • Obi-Wan, Nellith, Bail Organa, Albus Terrek, Mon Mothma and Val Organa are making an Alliance to counter the Imperial Party's hostile takeover on the Republic.

    • Episode 3 is 3 years after Episode 2. It opens on a brutal montage on Aquilaean ; Anakin slaughters the Dark Worlds' main members that we met on Episode 1 and 2 such as Atha Prime. We get a taste of how darker and more violent Anakin became under Palpatine's influence. Palpatine molded him into a fighting machine; a weapon. He completely abandons the Jedi way and is basically Palpatine's Apprentice at this point.

    • Anakin has his "binary sunset moment", which symbolizes the beginning of his trainings in the Dark Side much like it symbolized Luke's beginning of his Jedi trainings.

    • The Republic is on a moral downfall - corrupted Politicians and Oligarchs from the Imperial party, supported by the President, managed to seize power, the Jedi Order lost his influence.

    • Darth Maul is searching for the Kaliburr Crystal that will give him the access the Korriban - the Planet of the Sith. Meanwhile the Dark Worlds Alliances are crumbling while Anakin is leading Palpatine's Empire and is enforcing an iron fist role, becoming a violent Warlord and a War criminal.

    • Its becoming clear that there is a power struggle between Palpatine's Imperial Party and the Alderaanian faction - It is hinted that Palpatine has bribed and subverted the senate at this point which gives him nearly complete control over the Empire.

    • Albus Terrek and Obi-Wan has a clash - Terrek notices that Palpatine molded Anakin into a weapon - the opposite of what he was supposed to be. Obi-Wan is still full of himself that Anakin won't fail him, despite Anakin and Obi-Wan's strained friendship at this point.

    • Anakin and Nellith has a clash as well - Nellith is trying to restore the Republic, Anakin believes in the Empire's authotarian way; to do everything it takes for Order. Anakin believes he is doing all of this for his future with Nellith - he believes his destiny is to have a family with her and live a peaceful life on a peaceful galaxy, and he will achieve it no matter what. Palpatine supports him.

    • Maul manages to locate the Kaliburr crystal - which gives him access to Korriban. He plans to start the trials of the Sith and become the "Starkiller", the Sith's Chosen One. He has a one last mission: to attack the Republic in Coruscant and kill Anakin Skywalker

    • The power struggle between Nellith-Mon Mothma and Tarkin is raging - which puts Anakin at the center. Nellith is refusing to line up with the Empire; Anakin is blaming the Alderaanian Rebellion for turning Nellith against what Anakin is trying to achieve: a peacful Galaxy for the two of them to raise a family peacefully.

    • Palpatine reveals the truth to Anakin: He was a member of the team that searched for the Chosen One, but the search stopped because Yoda discovered the Prophecy of the Starkiller; Anakin instantly makes the connection with what Maul told him on EP2. He loses faith on his destiny as a Jedi completely and now there is no way back. He confronts Obi-Wan and declares that he is going to kill Maul by himself, and that he won't let him to stand on his way. He orders Obi-Wan to leave the Republic and hide.

    • Anakin eventually locates Maul on Palpatine's palace, when Palpatine admits that he was the Sith Lord. Before Anakin can react - a violent duel between him and Maul starts. Anakin remembers everything Maul did during this 7 years of War - from Qui-Gon to the Nelvaanians, and eventually defeats him by fully using the Dark Side. Anakin kills Maul.

    • Anakin admits that Palpatine is too powerful to be killed - he understands that his destiny is to become the Starkiller so he can end all the conflicts in the Galaxy and bring back Order and peace with the strongest Forces in the Dark Side, and eventually defeat Palpatine from within once he fully managed to fulfill his potential in the Dark Side. He pledges himself as Palpatine's Dark Apprentice and as a Dark Jedi Knight. He is given complete control over the Empire's fleets and goes on a viloent rampage across the Galaxy - to hunt down the remaining Jedi Knights and the Republican soldiers that are working with Obi-Wan and Bail Organa's rebellion.

    • Meanwhile, Palpatine orders Tarkin to destroy the Senate tower. Palpatine blames the Jedi rebellion for its destruction, which gives him the public support he needs to declare himself Emperor and turn the public against the Jedi and the Rebellion.

    • On his rampage, Anakin kills Republican soldiers and Jedi Knights that we met earlier on the trilogy, which builds him up as the new Villain taking Maul's role as Palpatine's enforcer.

    • In Aquilaean, Obi-Wan and Bail are leading the Rebellion forces - the remaining human Republican soldiers that are opposing the Empire, against the Empire's Clone Army. This is the first Battle of the Empire and the Rebels. The Jedi Knights are facing their worst enemy, Palpatine's Empire; led by non other then Anakin himself.

    • Nellith has her own sub-plot as well. After failing to oppose the Empire, she escapes to the Rebellion base on Yavin. She knows Anakin was decieved by Palpatine, and she is going to dedicate herself to save him from himself.

    • Anakin is commanding the Empire's Star Destroyers, and after becoming powerful enough in the Dark Side, Palparine sends him to Korriban, to start the trials of the Starkiller. Nellith has a tracker on him, while Obi-Wan has a tracker on her..

    • In Korriban, Anakin is guided by Dark Side cultists and Palpatine's hologram on the Sith fortress. He is experiencing visions of Nellith getting tortured and killed - visions of the Galaxy in ruins. Anakin unlocks a new level of power in the Dark Side, shaking the entire Sith fortress and becoming a complete fighting machine and a weapon. His path to becoming Vader is nearly complete.

    • Eventually, he is stopped by Nellith. After a long conversation, Obi-Wan shows up. Anakin believes Nellith betrayed him, he chokes her but Obi-Wan explains that he followed her. Anakin releases her. After Obi-Wan tries to redeem Anakin, Anakin rejects him. A violent duel starts between the two, where Anakin is losing control and fully submits to the Dark Side.

    • Yoda and Palpatine are dueling through the Force - Palpatine reveals his new ability: Force Storm (like in Dark Empire)

    • As Anakin and Obi-Wan duel is heating, Anakin is completely consumed by the Dark Side. Obi-Wan eventually manages to target Anakin's injuries and win. He tries to save Anakin, who falls from the mountain.

    • Palpatine and Yoda's force Battle ends in a draw.

    • At the final, Tarkin locates Anakin on Korriban and he is reconstructed into Vader. Palpatine lies to Anakin that he killed Nellith; Vader shakes the entire room.

    • Vader ends the trilogy as the opposite of Luke; While Luke finished as a champion and a savior with all of his friends, Vader is absolutely alone; full of hate and anger.

    • On Yavin, it is revealed that Anakin's Force Choke strained Nellith and shorted her life span. It is revealed that she is pregnant. Obi-Wan and Bail decide that she will be sent to Dagboah into hiding.

    • Obi-Wan has a final conversation with Yoda through the Force, admitting his mistakes and arrogancy that caused Anakin's fall.

    • Obi-Wan goes to an exile on Tatooine, and the Episode ends with him watching the binary sunset with a hopeful look on his face, with Owen and Beru watching him at the background.
    ------------

    Planets:

    • Coruscant

    • Alderaan

    • Had Abbadon - The Dark Worlds Alliances' capital and Darth Maul's base of operations

    • Byss

    • Nelvaan

    • Aquilaean

    • This is a short list, there are more Planets in the trilogy that are meant to give the feel of the OT
    Background characters:

    I tried to write memorable background characters that will stand up to the original OT supporting cast, for example:

    • Prince Bail Organa, whom Obi-Wan serves under.

    • King Val Organa, Bail's father and basically and older version of Duke Leto from Dune

    • Jedi Knight Buzz Kraken who is an homage to Spock from Star Trek

    • Albus Terrek, the Grand Master of the Jedi Order who is an allegory to Albus Dumbledore

    • Jedi Knight Boodikka

    • General Doc Newton - A Republican soldier that fights under Obi-Wan Kenobi and one of the first Rebels

    • This is also a short list to give you the idea. There are more characters in the story treatments
    ------

    • This rewrite combines elements from Lucas' original drafts and the Expanded Universe, with inspirations from non-Star Wars media such as Smallville, Green Lantern, a bit of Lord of the Rings, Dune and Harry Potter

    • The Clone Wars is based on how Zahn described them (including the timelines)

    • The aesthetics are pretty much based on Dark Empire and Lucas' original drafts (which were adapted into comic books)

    • The Jedi Knights are a cross of Arthurian Knights and the Green Lantern corps

    • Like the Millennium Falcon, the main ship in the trilogy is the Shadow Hawk, a ship that Anakin inherited from Qui-Gon\

    • DV-4 is Anakin's droid sidekick much like what R2 is to Luke. C3PO and R2 are Bail Organa and Nellith's droids

    • Anakin's arc is based on Luke from the OT and is meant to mirror him. The naive Hero's Journey character, the themes, inner struggles, etc. He basically starts as Luke from Episode 4 and ends as Lucifer or Darth Caedus from the OT (Fallen Angel/scarred war hero with an I did what I had to do attitude)

    • Anakin's arc is also an allegory to King Arthur and Lancelot

    • We see Anakin's visual transition from man to machine and from Anakin to Vader as the trilogy progresses. For example, in Episode 1 he is still far away from Vader, but in Episode 2 he already has a Dark Jedi tunic (this suit or something akin to Luke's EP6 suit) and loses his hand in the final duel with Maul; in Episode 3 he is basically Vader in everything but name and armor, which means his hair is longer in a way which makes Anakin's shadow identical to Vader, he has a black Dark Jedi tunic which mirrors Luke's Dark Empire suit. As Anakin hunts down more Jedi Knights, he is sustaining more and more injuries and scars, which eventually damages his ability to breath and causes him to breath heavily. He also gets multiple injuries on his legs which causes him to fight in a slower style and needs droids around him to take care of his injuries and metal plates that will minimize the damage he sustained.

    • Obi-Wan is meant to be a slightly older and calmer variation of Hal Jordan (mainly in Episode 1)

    • Alderaan is a space composite of England and France

    • The Republic are a futurist US

    • Palpatine is supposed to be a space version of Rupert Murdoch if he was POTUS, with some elements from Richard Nixon and Reagan combined with loose elements from John Milton (The devil's advocate) and Voldemort

    • The Imperial Party are meant to be a conversative militant party, slightly like how liberals view Reagan's GOP

    • Tarkin is loosely based on Newt Gingrich

    • Mon Mothma is a younger Hilary Clinton, Bail is a Bill Clinton type figure

    • There is a constant use of flames that are surrounding Palpatine, Anakin and Maul, as both are having elements from the Devil (or Lucifer in Anakin's case). At first Maul is a menacing Dark Side warrior so the flames are meant to emphasize his power in the Dark Side. As Anakin becomes Dark Jedi Knight, the flames are surrounding him as well as he is hunting down more Jedi Knights (which is an homage to Lucifer).
    Gallery:

    I have a full story treatments but I'd post them on the fanfic forum
     
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  24. Deliveranze

    Deliveranze Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2015
    As a huge prequel fan, I have an interest in people who reimagine them in a new creative way, and your treatments are the most interesting prequel rewrites I’ve seen in years. The Dark Worlds Alliances is an interesting faction. Though I’ve been a bit confused on how they function. I think having the Sith Clone Army and the Mandalorians being separate would create a more effective distinction between the Alliance soldiers. Idk if it was intentional in your first drafts, but it made it easier to distinct the Sith-influence of Maul and Atha Prime’s faction with the Death Watch Mandalorians.

    Overall, I really enjoy your treatments and the new reimagining of the era. It definitely has that strong Dark Empire influence for sure.
     
  25. DarthStarkiller144

    DarthStarkiller144 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2023
    Thanks! Atha Prime is actually supposed to be a side villain and sort of a right hand man to Maul, basically an evil scientist/Clone Master who is in charge of the Clone Army. The Sith Clone Army consists of Mandalorians and Aliens (which expands the world building), while there are still Mandalorians like Spar
     
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