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Beyond - Legends Silly drabble #28- It's a Guy Thing - Jag, Zekk, Han

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LexiLupin, Jul 2, 2011.

  1. LexiLupin

    LexiLupin Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 27, 2011
    *note* - all fics have been re-posted in proper formatting, and the index has been updated. Yay!:D

    (I never imagined I would need this- and maybe I don't- but with 23 drabbles spanning 9 pages (and counting), it seemed nice to give the reader with particular humor sensibilities a quick look at who is involved in what drabble)
    Index of Drabbles
    Pg 1
    1. SW#1-Manservant - Jaina/Kyp
    2. First Time - Jaina/Zekk
    3. Delirious - Han, Jag, Zekk
    4. The Price - Tenel Ka, Allana, H/L
    Pg 2
    5. SW#2-Summons - Jaina/Jag
    6. SW#3-Payback - Jaina/Zekk, Jag, Kyp
    7. SW#4-Revenge 1&2 - Jaina & the guys
    Pg 3
    -Revenge 3-5 - Jaina & the guys
    8. SW#5-Penitent - Jaina/Jag
    9. Code Red - Jag, Kyp, Ben, Jaina, Mara
    Pg 4
    10. Never Again - Han/Leia
    11. HoloNet News - Soontir/Syal
    12. Names - Jaina, Zekk, H/L
    Pg 5
    13. Family Ties - Wedge, Tycho, Jag
    14. Death Threats - Luke/Mara, Jacen, Jaina
    Pg 6
    15. Father's Permission - Han, Kyp, Jaina
    16. Jedi Mind Tricks - Jaina, Allana, Corran
    17. The War of Art - Thrawn, Pellaeon
    Pg 7
    18. Misfire - Han, Allana, Threepio
    19. Malfunction - Kyp, Jaina, Zekk
    Pg 8
    20. Left Unsaid - Han/Leia
    21. It's a Trap - Wedge/Iella
    Pg 9
    22. Sabotage - Wedge, Corran, Syal, Jysella, Booster
    23. Fathers' Bane - Jaina/Jag, Han
    Pg 10
    24. Son of a Sith - Luke/Mara
    25. The Art of War - Thrawn, Pellaeon (companion to #17)
    Pg 11
    26. Adamant- Thrawn, Pellaeon
    27. Committee- Leia/Han
    28. It's a Guy Thing- Jag, Zekk, Han

    In case there's any confusion- a handful of these follow a silly little series which has been informally dubbed 'The Shower Wars.' Those are: Manservant, Summons, Payback, Revenge (parts 1-5), and Penitent. Manservant is, of course, this first one, but the rest are on pages 2 & 3, and the pieces in between are unrelated.

    That is all. ;)

    A/N: Just a silly little piece... hope you enjoy. ;)

    #1- Manservant
    (Shower Wars #1)

    Pursing her lips in annoyance before carefully schooling her haughty ‘goddess’ expression, she stepped in bare feet through the door of the refresher and into the overly-sized quarters for someone of her rank and experience- but not overly-sized for a goddess. She leaned against the door frame and met green eyes, and both remained silent for a long moment.

    “Well?” she finally bit.

    “Well what?”

    Closing her eyes, willing the frustration to abate, she crossed her arms over her towel-clad form. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

    His brows quirked, but his eyes never left hers. “I was told you needed a manservant.”

    “Not in here, I don’t.”

    “Clearly you do.” He finally allowed his gaze to flicker down once, the shadow of a smirk touching his lips. “You can’t even seem to clothe yourself properly.”

    There was little she could do to stop the pink flush before it started. “You’re infuriating. Get out, Kyp.”

    “Hey,” he stood slowly, raising his hands up defensively in front of him. “I’m sorry, how was I supposed to know you were taking a sanisteam?”

    “By… hearing it running once you’d already broken in?” she smiled sweetly and sauntered over to him. “Kyp, you can’t just barge in here- what if Jag had been here?”

    He blinked at her owlishly and then scowled. “And just why would Fel be in here while you were showering?”

    Smiling dangerously, she pressed her body up against his and stood on her toes, leaning up to whisper in his ear. “I thought you didn’t realize I was showering.” His mouth opened and closed a few times, attempting to formulate a proper excuse. “That’s what I thought.”

    “Can you blame a guy for trying?”

    “Get out, Kyp.”

    “Got it.”

    Once he was out the door, she allowed the smallest smirk to cross her lips. Maybe having Kyp as her manservant would have its perks after all.



    PM list

  2. Sticks

    Sticks Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jan 27, 2001
    [face_blush] Oh my! I think we need more fics like this--the full extent of what serving the Goddess entailed was never properly addressed in the NJO. [face_whistling]
  3. Tarsier

    Tarsier Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jul 31, 2005
    Cute story! :)
  4. Hazel

    Hazel Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 9, 2010
    LOL! That was naughty and funny.
  5. Kailene

    Kailene Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 17, 2009
    Hmmm...And just what would Jag be doing in the shower with you Jaina? Huh? [face_whistling] [face_mischief]

    Oh My Goodness, LexiLupin, that was fantastic! =D= =D=

    A bit of naughty to put a huge smile on my face at the start of my stressful day !!

    We definitely need more of these on the board.
  6. CelseteAntola

    CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff star 3 VIP

    May 18, 2002
  7. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jan 25, 2006

    That was fun and worthy of a good giggle. Loved the image of Kyp heading out of the room. Fun little vignette!
  8. YodaKenobi

    YodaKenobi Former TFN Books Staff star 6 VIP

    May 27, 2003
    I lolled. Nice job =D=
  9. pinkpearl89

    pinkpearl89 Jedi Knight star 2

    Jun 9, 2010
    HAHAHAHAHA, this was so much fun packed into just a few lines! If you were to write a little series about moments like this, I would definitely want to be on that PM list :D
  10. LexiLupin

    LexiLupin Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 27, 2011
    I agree! :D

    Tarsier, Hazel, Luna_Nightshade, Yoda Kenobi- thanks!

    I'd tell you, but it wouldn't be Board-appropriate... :D

    Well said. :D

    Ask, and ye shall receive. ;) PM coming your way...

    #2- First Time

    Her brows contracted nervously, and she bit her lip in consternation as she peered at Zekk’s earnest emerald eyes. “I’ve never done this before…”

    He patiently took her hand in his and patted it softly. “Everyone has a first time, Jaina, you just have to… go for it.”

    “Go for it,” she deadpanned back. “What if something goes wrong?”

    “What could possibly go wrong?”

    She looked around a bit wildly. “I mean… we aren’t protected…”

    “We have the Force,” he reminded her slowly, and her brows rose skeptically. “What more protection do we need?”

    A quick glance downwards only served to heighten her discomfiture. “I’m too young for this,” she finally declared, taking a step back and away from him.

    “Jacen and Tenel Ka are your age.”

    She froze. “What?” she demanded. “You’re telling me… Jacen and Tenel Ka have already…?”

    A guilty look crossed his features. “I wasn’t going to say anything, I didn’t want you to feel bad…”

    “That’s it,” she declared, looking down to unfasten her jumpsuit and missing Zekk’s self-satisfied smirk. “I’ll never live it down if I don’t too now… and wipe that smirk off your face,” she snarled, “you’re getting what you want.”

    “Hey,” he soothed, crossing to her after he divested himself of his outer wear as well, “I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. I didn’t mean to pressure you…”

    “Like hell you didn’t. Forget it, too late.”

    But again, she glanced downwards in trepidation and looked back up with a new sense of wariness. Zekk took her hand and looked carefully into her eyes. “Do you trust me?” She nodded. “Close your eyes.”

    Strong arms wrapped around her and she sucked in a deep breath. “Wait,” she froze as he took a step closer to the edge. “How… how long did you say…?”

    “Ten, twelve tops.”


    If he replied, it was lost to her scream as they plummeted over the edge of the cliff; moments later, they were splashing into the deep pool twelve meters below.

    They came up, gasping and spluttering, and swam to the edge of the pool. Zekk pulled himself out of the water first, then extended a hand to help Jaina out after him. Once they were safely on dry ground, she shoved him down into the grass and collapsed beside him, huddling against him and shivering.

    “That was so not worth the hype,” she complained, teeth chattering. “And now I’m cold.”

    “Sorry,” his lips quirked wryly.

    A mischievous look came to her eyes. “Don’t be; you can help warm me up.”

    “Oh?” A brow rose curiously. “How do you propose I do that?”

    “I’m sure you’ll think of something, flyboy…”

  11. Hazel

    Hazel Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 9, 2010

    That was... brilliant!

    Loved it.
  12. pinkpearl89

    pinkpearl89 Jedi Knight star 2

    Jun 9, 2010
    Lol, way to keep us guessing ;)

    And thanks for the PM! :D[:D]
  13. Book-Geek

    Book-Geek Jedi Knight star 3

    May 28, 2011
    LOL! Loved it!=D=
  14. LexiLupin

    LexiLupin Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 27, 2011
    (set during Invincible after Jaina is recovered on Nickel One)

    #3- Delirious
    “She’s completely delirious.”

    “Out of her mind with pain.”

    “Exactly.” Jag’s eyes met Zekk’s for the briefest of instants before they both looked away awkwardly.

    Zekk adopted a reasonable tone. “She’s probably just compressing all of her memories of us into one moment, you know? Remembering dating you during the war, and when me and her were Joiners…”

    “Please,” Jag grimaced, “I don’t want to know.”

    “Right. My point is… well…”

    “That she’s completely delirious?”

    “Yes, exactly… out of her mind with pain.”

    They stood there in uncomfortable silence beside the prone figure of Jaina, now in a healing trance. “Guess we should go buckle in,” Jag finally muttered.

    He waited until Zekk made it halfway to the cockpit before leaving the med bay himself, shooting one last furtive glance at Jaina’s unconscious form before walking softly out. When he reached the cockpit, Zekk was already buckled in behind Han, and Jag took the seat beside him behind Leia, staring studiously ahead at the back of her chair.

    “She’s alright?” Han demanded, turning and giving them half his attention.

    “Healing trance,” Zekk responded. “Should help her along until we can get her back to the Hapan fleet.”

    “Good…” Han returned his full attention to the viewport in front of him as he prepared the jump to lightspeed.

    “So,” he commented idly a moment later, as he pulled back the hyperspace levers. “I suppose you two will be wanting to look at some catalogues…”

    “I… sir?” Jag asked warily.

    “For when you three move in together; furniture shopping is a pain. I’d suggest letting Jaina do it all, but she didn’t really inherit Leia’s fine sense of décor and style…”

    “Han…” Leia’s tone was soft and full of deadly warning.

    “Hey, I’m just concerned here, these things bear thinking about. Now, you’ll want to start thinking about bedrooms soon… do you each get your own, or one big one?”

    Jag groaned; Zekk buried his face in his hands.

    “Han Solo…”

    “Personally, I’d suggest one big one… privacy is good, but that’s liable to lead to jealousy, and it’ll just never work between the three of you if you don’t trust each other. Now, what about…?”

    Jag closed his eyes and leaned heavily back in the chair. Some days, he wondered if his life wouldn’t have been simpler if he’d just remained on Tenupe, living off the land, dealing with deadly predators on a daily basis.

    Today, he didn’t wonder- he knew it for a fact.
  15. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Kessel Run Champion star 8 VIP - Game Winner

    Aug 31, 2004
    Lexi! I squeeed over drabble #1. J/J in the shower, yum! :D over #2. and [face_laugh] [face_laugh] !! over #3. Han is a total caution! [face_laugh] :)

    Please put me on your PM train -- I always am up for a good squee or laugh.


  16. Hazel

    Hazel Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 9, 2010
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Good for Han to just lay it out on the table.
  17. Book-Geek

    Book-Geek Jedi Knight star 3

    May 28, 2011
    [face_laugh] Han really loves making those two uncomfortable!
  18. Sticks

    Sticks Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jan 27, 2001


    SO. GREAT.


    Han cracks me up.
  19. CelseteAntola

    CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff star 3 VIP

    May 18, 2002
    Congrats, Lexi, as you successfully made me literally lol. These are great! Keep 'em coming! :D

  20. pinkpearl89

    pinkpearl89 Jedi Knight star 2

    Jun 9, 2010

    Well, I guess since Han chose not to go the over-protective father route, there was only one other way to react to the situation...

    Too funny, can't wait for more :D
  21. LexiLupin

    LexiLupin Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 27, 2011
    Jade_eyes - added to the train... and after that reaction, I'm half-tempted to actually write Jaina and Jag in the shower... [face_whistling]

    Hazel - Han is good for that, isn't he? :D Trust him to think up all of those little details...

    Book-Geek - and that is why we love Han!

    Sticks - thanks! They're a blast to write... I just wish inspiration struck more often for this sort of thing...

    CelseteAntola - thanks, and will do!

    Pinkpearl89 - I like to see it as 'Jaina was direly injured, Han needs some humor to break the tension'... it just happens to be at the expense of Jag and Zekk... O:)

    Another Legacy of the Force missing moment type scene... more of a vignette than a drabble, and not as silly as the others, but... well, it's my drabble-thread, and I say it fits. [face_love]

    #4- The Price

    Queen Mother Tenel Ka felt a wide variety of emotions as she waited for the Millennium Falcon to settle down in the royal hangar aboard her flagship, the Dragon Queen. First and foremost were excitement and anticipation- she hadn’t seen her abducted daughter in weeks, and she was now only minutes away; next was nervousness- what if something had gone wrong and she couldn’t sense it?

    And lastly was a deep but firm sense of dread- when Master Skywalker had offered for the Jedi to undertake the mission to rescue Allana, she had never dreamed that the operation would be headed by Han and Leia Solo. They were good friends, capable people and… most importantly… Allana’s grandparents.

    Except they hadn’t known that before the mission. But she was pretty willing to bet that they had figured it out by now.

    None of these emotions showed on her calm, cool face, of course; she was half-Dathomiri, half-Hapan, and a queen. It just wouldn’t be proper. Nevertheless, she felt nothing but anxious anticipation as her four most trusted guards went to meet the Solos and her daughter, and to escort them to her private quarters, where they could be alone.

    When the door slid open a few minutes later- a few minutes that felt like an eternity- her heart almost stopped beating in her chest. But there she was, held protectively in the arms of Han Solo, on the ground and dashing into her mother’s arms before the door even slid closed, leaving the four of them in total privacy.

    “My darling,” Tenel Ka knelt on the floor as she embraced her daughter. “I’ve missed you so much; are you alright? You aren’t hurt, are you?”

    Allana shook her head emphatically. “Jacen was nice, but he didn’t know the words, so I knew that you didn’t want me to go with him… even if he is my daddy.” Her tone was mildly accusing, her little grey eyes narrowed slightly. Her features softened after a moment though. “But I think Jacen’s turning into a bad man… so I guess it’s alright that you didn’t tell me.”

    But it wasn’t her daughter’s reassurance that she was most worried about. Standing tall, she faced Allana’s rescuer’s gravely. “I can’t begin to thank you enough; nor can any words convey my regret that you found out this way. Had I known that Master Skywalker would ask the two of you to undertake this mission…” she trailed away, uncharacteristically nervous and unable to find the proper words.

    Leia seemed unbothered though. She smiled softly and embraced the Jedi queen for a long moment. “We understand,” she whispered. “And you can count on our discretion; we’ve told no one else.”

    “Wait a second.” Both woman looked sharply up at Han, who looked mildly disconcerted. “That’s it? My first grandchild was hidden from me for five years, I get to know her for two days, and then it’s over?”


    “No,” Tenel Ka held up a hand, “Captain Solo is perfectly within rights to be angry with me. Please… Han… if there’s anything I can do to make up for this hurt…”

    He looked torn as he glanced quickly between his wife, Tenel Ka, and the wide-eyed little girl at her mother’s side. For a long time, he was quiet- and then his face set into hardened resolve and he fixed his gaze on Tenel Ka.

    “I get to teach her how to fly.”

    Some ten seconds of utter silence greeted this proclamation. “To… fly?” the queen replied hesitantly.

    “Yes. And not in some namby-pamby Hapes ship; Allana should learn how to pilot a real ship- the Falcon.”

    For a long moment, Tenel Ka met his eyes calculatingly, as though trying to gauge whether he was serious. Then, a tentative smile touched her lips and she glanced quickly down at her eager daughter who was grinning and staring adoringly at her grandfather. “Very well- if that is your price- then I accept.”

    Really?” Allana broke in enthusiastically. “Can I learn now?” Han froze, not having anticipated the ensuing mental image of a five-year-old at the helm of his most prized possession.

    “Allana,” Leia broke in softly, “your grandpa and I have some more work to do, to make sure that Jacen doesn’t hurt anyone else. But we’ll be back, and when you’re a little older, your grandpa will teach you all about the Falcon.”

    She looked mildly crestfallen. “A little older?” she demanded suspiciously. “Like… six?”

    Shaking off his brief panic, Han chuckled and knelt on the ground to hug his granddaughter. “Yeah, sweetie… like six.”
  22. haleyskywalker2

    haleyskywalker2 Jedi Padawan star 1

    Sep 25, 2010
    Drabble #2 had me thinking and then the end was just totally not what I expected but it was hilariuos!
    Drabble #3, poor boys. I bet Han was just trying to talk them out of sleeping with his daughter.

    Drabble #4, I knew Allana would want to fly the falcon right then. She has that Solo blood in her.

    Add me to that PM list!
  23. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Kessel Run Champion star 8 VIP - Game Winner

    Aug 31, 2004
    Thanks for the pM and this was a sweet, touching missing moment. Super characterizations and reactions from all involved.

    Heart totally aches for all concerned... especially Tenel Ka with her shattered hopes on a personal level for herself as well as sweet Allana.

    Grandpa Han is just as endearing as you'd expect :* !!
  24. Hazel

    Hazel Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 9, 2010
    This is my favorite type of missing moment - the reunion.

    Great and realistic characterization on all fronts.

    ?Really?? Allana broke in enthusiastically. ?Can I learn now?? Han froze, not having anticipated the ensuing mental image of a five-year-old at the helm of his most prized possession.

    [face_laugh] You promised, Grandpa Han!

    ?A little older?? she demanded suspiciously. ?Like? six??

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Han bit off a little more than he could chew.

  25. dm1

    dm1 Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 9, 2004
    Count me in for PMs, too! These are really great; you have to love Han in both drabbles 2 & 4. He really knows how to call a spade a spade.

    Allana was great, too. Children have no real sense of time, so it's not surprising that she thought later was when she was six and, of course she wanted to learn right away.