Before - Legends Statement: I Enjoy Killing - Diary Challenge '09 ~ KOTOR Era - Updated 2/28

Title: Statement: I Enjoy Killing
Author: Qui-Gon Reborn
Timeframe: The KOTOR Era
Characters: HK-47
Genre: Various ruminations of a slightly over-zealous assassin droid.
Summary: See above!
Disclaimer: George Lucas created this beautiful galaxy that I have had the pleasure of playing in.

Note: This is a companion to The Dark Lady Cometh, the diary of Revan written by my RPF Master Trimaj for the Dear Diary Challenge 2009. Speaking of Tris, I'd like to give him my hugest thanks for being such a great reader and an awesome friend, and to my Forum Master, Jag4Me, for keeping my ego sufficiently high that I attempt things like this. Thanks, guys.

ENTRY 1

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Statement: Apathy is death.

Correction: The apathy of pathetic meatbags with absolutely no comprehension of the finesse possessed by those less...squishy...than they are will be their death. I am an assassin droid.

Boast: It is my primary function to burn holes through meatbags when other forms of exclusion have been previously exhausted.

Disgusted Statement: My previous...Master, (Lamentation: Oh, how I despise that word!) the creature with four throats, failed to grasp my various capabilities.

Translation: The stupid fool sold me. For [i]credits[/i]. To another [i]meatbag[/i].

Wistful Thought: Oh, I suppose that is why I was created. To eliminate the beings that other beings have labeled as scum so that they will not be labeled as scum nor have to deal with those they label as scum.

Statement: Those...?organics?...are so predictable.

Further Rumination: Although that those disgusting bags of dripping pheromones created me, I have yet to find one who I must call ?Master? that might be worthy of my services.

Correction: Until now.

Consideration: I never really bought into the idea of the Force and those?lightsabers. I much prefer a blaster to something my targeting sensors can?t perceive. And the way those Jedi meatbags walk around without armor and with their poor excuses for photoreceptors -- eyes? -- closed, you?d think that they?re just [i]pleading[/i] to be blasted into unrecognizable space matter.

Joyous Statement: But my new Master seems a tad different for a Jedi.

Statement: I enjoy killing. It was what I was programmed to do. I enjoy executing that programming very much.

Statement: I was not under the impression that Jedi were programmed to kill with such efficiency. Certainly, I have seen them kill before. But, I had no idea that they hold it with the same regard that I do.

Optimistic Thought: There might be some hope for the race of meatbags after all.

Statement: But if all meatbags loved killing, then they wouldn?t need poorly constructed representations of themselves with accentuated mechanisms [i]designed[/i] for killing.

Lamentation: Then where would be the joy in my service?

Conclusion: I am a droid. With programming. Programming intended for service to my Master. Even if I did not enjoy killing, I would have no choice. Luckily, I enjoy it very much.

[hr]

[face_alien_1] Comments?

 

*swipes first post*

you did a great job capturing HK rox. i can soooo hear him saying this. his voice runs throughout the whole thing.

Statement: I was not under the impression that Jedi were programmed to kill with such efficiency. Certainly, I have seen them kill before. But, I had no idea that they hold it with the same regard that I do.

this statement really tickled me for some reason. found it to be terribly HK, and also decidedly amusing. good turn of phrase there.

definitely looking forward to this. not to mention companioning this.

and embaress me why don't you...

:snoopy

 

HK is a strange droid, its mind/programming is all messed up and confused. Interesting thoughts from HK.

 

I love HK!!

And it's nice to see a diary from his point of view...in a twisted sort of way.

I'm a bit concerned about this Jedi who enjoys killing, though

Please PM me when you update

Looking forward to more

 

HK is awesome!

This is going to be so cool. I can't wait to see how this turns out.

Great job!

 

definitely looking forward to this. not to mention companioning this.

Can't wait to see what you come up with for Revan!!

and embaress me why don't you...

Like I told you, you deserved it.

HK is a strange droid, its mind/programming is all messed up and confused. Interesting thoughts from HK.

Thank you! He's really fun to write, but a change for me. It's a good thing I've played so much KOTOR so I can base my statements on what I think he'd really say.

I love HK!!

Can't help but love that twisted droid!

I'm a bit concerned about this Jedi who enjoys killing, though

Perhaps they won't be a Jedi for long...

This is going to be so cool. I can't wait to see how this turns out.

Thank you! Me, too, actually.

 

ENTRY 2

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Statement: How repugnant some things are. It seems that I almost surrendered completely to the disgusting tendencies that meatbags know as peace and pacifism.

Lamentation: To what horrors is my Master venturing to subject me?

Statement: I have had the immense pleasure of bursting thousands of liquidous fleshbags all over the galaxy, taking me to many different ghastly worlds, but I have hardly ever seen a planet as repulsive as this one.

Disgusted Statement: That pathetic meatbag that my Master calls ?Carth Onasi? referred to this planet as ?beautiful.?

Agonized Deliberation: This planet is not beautiful. All of the buildings, and waters, and all those beings just walking around...

Statement: The heat that builds up in my behavior core when these cheap imitations make their presence felt throughout the galaxy almost compels me to relieve them of their obvious misery.

Tormented Consideration: But I am nearly overcome by this horrifying tendency to be kind.

Statement: My Master doesn?t seem to be affected. She?s handling the other meatbags precisely how I would, under normal circumstances.

Statement: Anyway, there seems to be some glimmer of hope for these monotonous beings and their simple-minded lives.

Hopeful Remark: A faction of meatbags that call themselves the Sith, who want what any rational meatbag would want - the power to assassinate anyone they choose at any given time.

Statement: My Master has mentioned them on more than one occasion, and today I actually was privileged enough to visit their embassy.

Gleeful Remark: Perhaps we shall even have the pleasure of blasting them into misshapen molecules of matter. That would be quite satisfactory.

[hr]

[face_alien_1] Comments?

 

Gleeful Remark: Perhaps we shall even have the pleasure of blasting them into misshapen molecules of matter. That would be quite satisfactory.

If he's referring to the Sith there, I heartily agree!

I loved reading his thoughts on the planet

Great update

 

I absolutely LOVE this. Please add me to your PM list.

 

*looks up at the two comments above me*

yea, i'd have to agree with them. loved the same paragraph that kelia pointed out. that made me chuckle. i do believe that HK's next entry will be something that he will grately enjoy relating.

again, well done, and this sounds exactly like HK. so much so that i hear his voice when reading it. great job snips.

:snoopy

 

Hopeful Remark: A faction of meatbags that call themselves the Sith, who want what any rational meatbag would want - the power to assassinate anyone they choose at any given time.

Statement: My Master has mentioned them on more than one occasion, and today I actually was privileged enough to visit their embassy.

Privileged enough to visit the Sith? Oh my gosh, too funny!

I love HK's comments about Manaan (at least, I'm assuming it's Manaan). I've never thought about planets from his perspective before, and now whenever I play KotOR, I'm going to think about that.

I don't know whether to thank you or get mad 'cause you're messing with my head.

 

If he's referring to the Sith there, I heartily agree!

As a matter of fact, me too!!

I absolutely LOVE this. Please add me to your PM list.

Thank you!

so much so that i hear his voice when reading it. great job snips.

Thanks, Skyguy.

I don't know whether to thank you or get mad 'cause you're messing with my head.

That's what I do best!

 

this is really good
add me to the pm list if you would

 

Thank you!

 

ENTRY 3

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Statement: Meatbags have this infuriating habit of screaming.

Statements: Why a meatbag would waste what little ventilation they still have just before their time is up by expelling it out of their air pipe just boggles my mental capacitator.

Confession: I had hoped that the Sith meatbags would be above that particular habit. They seemed to be such a promising sort, at least as far as fleshlings go.

Statement: But I was disappointed to find that the Sith tend to have the same shortcomings that all meatbags do.

Statement: Even a Sith will hesitate.

Shameless Boast: A droid has no need for hesitation because no one ever, ever blames a droid. I could turn around and vaporize some hapless organic at the slight twitch of my Master?s trigger finger, and who has to pay for that meatbags? flowers?

Answer: My Master.

Statement: Oh, the Sith were such fun to shatter! We entered their small inorganic structure that meatbags build to make up for the fact that they can?t survive outside of their own little comfort, and my Master ordered us to reduce everything and everyone.

Statement: I was more than happy to comply.

Lamentation: But it seems that not everyone knows how to appreciate the finer things in life like I do. And like my Master seems to.

Statement: Those repulsively soggy fleshbags that come from the Republic came and confiscated our weaponry, and fitted me with a...a...restraining bolt.

Disgusted Analysis: I dislike restraining bolts.

Correction: I [i]despise[/i] restraining bolts.

[hr]

[face_alien_1] Comments?

 

love it rox. you reall know HK quite well.

easily my fav part was the restraining bolt, and how he despises them. SOOOOOO a droid there. especially if he likes killing things...

yes, hk and revan get along quite well. quite well.

keep'em coming rox.

:snoopy

 

Poor HK, fitted with a restraining bolt.

HK is awesomesauce and hilarious, as he always is. Well done!

 

I'm not surprised HK would relish destroying the Sith. I kind of enjoyed it myself

Correction: I despise restraining bolts.

Now why do I get the feeling meatbags are going to pay when that bolt comes off?

Great update

 

Statement: Those repulsively soggy fleshbags that come from the Republic came and confiscated our weaponry, and fitted me with a...a...restraining bolt.

Disgusted Analysis: I dislike restraining bolts.

Correction: I despise restraining bolts.

 

easily my fav part was the restraining bolt, and how he despises them. SOOOOOO a droid there. especially if he likes killing things...

Yeah, his droid-ness sort of shines through there, doesn't it? Thanks!

Poor HK, fitted with a restraining bolt.

Poor HK?

I'm not surprised HK would relish destroying the Sith. I kind of enjoyed it myself

Me, too, actually.

Correction: I despise restraining bolts.

Well, wouldn't you?

 

ENTRY 4

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Statement: I often hear meatbags talking about different things that they cannot possibly see with their pathetic visual receptors.

Obvious Factoid: Organic visual receptors cannot hope to compare to the superior technological qualities of [i]my[/i] sight receptacles.

Conclusion: When fleshbags engage in whole conversations about ?honor? and ?duty? and ?property? and such repulsive expressions of their inner mechanisms, they can?t possibly actually see those things around them.

Shameless Boast: If they could see them, [i]I[/i] could see them.

Statement: The mere fact that I cannot see them means that they do not exist.

Rhetorical Inquiry: So why fight over something that doesn?t exist?

Statement: Something deep within my circuits is glad that I don?t know.

Statement: But I [i]am[/i] glad to finally be rid of that humiliating restraining bolt. The fishbags freed my master and her unworthy companions after some silly deliberation about ?tradition? and some other equally useless expressions.

Announcement: My master has decreed that we now will enter the base of those meatbags that call themselves the Republic and make all further moves from there.

Statement: My master seems quite obsessed with finding something she keeps calling the Star Forge. I hope it?s some kind of object that?s useful for pulverizing meatbags? internal appendages into a fine white powder.

Statement: And with a master like mine, that may not be hoping for too much.

[hr]

[face_alien_1] Comments?

 

XD Awesomeness!!!!!!!
I love how you captured HK-47. This is quite hilarious. I can't wait for the next entry, and I wonder what he'll think of Korriban. Once again, great job!

 

ENTRY 5

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Statement: I have finally had the extreme misfortune of locating something more repulsive than fleshly meatbags.

Disgusted Remark: Meatbags who have somehow scrambled their mental capacitors.

Lamentation: My sensors barely even register the slightest quantity of delight at their ultimate demise. Exterminating a meatbag who fails to understand the barrel of my blaster rifle almost makes me wonder why I have to be put through the trouble.

Statement: The fleshbags that I am referring to are the Selkath.

Correction: [i]Were[/i] the Selkath.

Statement: They have this infuriating custom of running up to you in swarms and waving their tactile extensions, just asking to be disposed of.

Statement: My Master finds them particularly distasteful. She seems to display a certain amount of wisdom for a meatbag.

Shameless Boast: And she wastes no time littering their useless organic components.

[hr]

[face_alien_1] Comments?

 

LOL Greatest story on here!