Saga Stupid Kid! (repost, Humor AU one-shot with Wuher and Luke [kind of])

Author: Alexis_Wingstar​

Title: Stupid Kid!​

Genre: Humor​

Characters: Wuher (the bartender from the Catina in ANH)​

Note: This was a challenge that was given to write a humorous eulogy. I decided to repost because I hated seeing it with those stupid question marks all over the place. ​

Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucus, I'm just dancing in the sandbox. ​

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Stupid Kid!​

I am not sure why you all wanted me to give the eulogy for this stupid kid. I didn’t particularly like him. Hell, I didn’t even know him. But then, I don’t like most of the galaxy either so there we go.

*Shrugs indifferently*

The one good thing I can say, that of all the idiots who got killed in my bar... yeah, I know, it’s technically not my bar, it’s Chalmun’s, but I work there half the time it’s open so it’s mine in that sense... anyhoo, of all the idiots who got killed in my bar, he is the ONE who gave us some entertainment while doing it. It began when Panda Baby or whatever his name is, and that fool who calls himself a doctor picked a fight with this Skywalker. The kid tried to avoid combat, but those two thugs are persistent when they want to fight.

The old geezer who came in the bar with the boy pulled a lightsaber and cut Panda Baby’s... yeah, I know that’s not his real name, but he’s a THUG, so who cares?... anyway Panda Baby starts screaming hysterically, jumping all around, holding the stump which was still smoking from the lightsaber.

The fake doctor guy went even more mad than he already was and drew a vibroblade and started yelling insanely... all I could make out was, “I’ll cut you and cut you and cut you.” Like I said he was wacked out.

Then Skywalker draws his own lightsaber, but he obviously wasn’t very handy with it like the old geezer was, and Panda Baby ran into the kid just as he was turning it on and the kid wound up with the light blade through his gut.

His last words? “But Ben, I used the force.”

Heh, stupid kid. What, did he think he was a jedi or something ‘cause he had a lightsaber?

*Rolls eyes, waves hand in dismissal and leaves the room muttering something about using Rodian pheromones in a special drink for Jabba*

The End