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Saga The Commander's Holo-Com (OC Revolution Oct. Challenge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Viridian-Maiden, Nov 2, 2014.

  1. Viridian-Maiden

    Viridian-Maiden Jedi Master star 1

    Aug 14, 2013
    Title: The Commander's Holo-Com
    Author: Viridian-Maiden
    Genre: Suspense/Friendship
    Characters: OCs - Katya Starstar, Tilasa Si Nhala, Commander Wyatt, Gaima
    Summary: A suspenseful story about friends and the multiple ways one could use a com.
    A/N: Written for the OC Revolution Oct. challenge. It's obviously very unfinished, but I wanted to post it anyway since it's the deadline. I'm not sure I know where this is going but I'm writing again! (Something, anything...seriously I'm just happy about that.)

    The Commander's Holo-Com

    “Katya…my lady…”

    The faint echo with an accent of gold slipped through the link in the privacy slide between the palace service bunk and its other end in the hallway.

    Katya Starstar stirred, lifting her head to listen for the gray sound of the link to buzz again under the voice she thought she just barely heard.

    She hadn’t been sleeping, although her body felt the weariness of her week. She had only been thinking…processing events actually...the high of the brief companionship she had for moments at the week’s beginning having tumbled into more than exhaustion as the holonets filled with stories about General Grievous’ defeat and an almost unbelievably imminent end to the war.

    At the same time, it wasn’t all celebratory. In fact, she was quite certain the more she laid in the still square space of the bunk and watched the lights of the climate control panel blink that something was amiss. She had spent more than one minute breathing in and out in the space while thinking about it.

    Still, her body tingled with memory in a way that was difficult to dismiss from her mind even as she found enough stillness to soothe herself.

    “Lady Katya...” the voice over the quiet buzz came again, pulling her firmly away from her thoughts.

    “Nhala?” Katya questioned, and then scooted across the mattress to press the button that thrust the panel diagonally aside.

    “Shhh……Un-Sister,” Si Nhala spoke in hushed tones and when Katya exited the bunk, motioned her friend past two other bunks and out into the meeting point between two corridors.

    “What’s wrong?” She asked Nhala, when Nhala declined further information.

    A security droid floated near them across the palace’s stone floor, disturbing the stillness of the hall by bleeping a request for proof of identification. Katya pulled her sleeve up to uncover the com on her wrist, orienting it just so towards the droid’s single eye. She waited for Nhala to do the same, expecting her friend to orient her wrist so that the droid could scan the link. Nhala didn’t move.

    “Nhala?” she said when the droid beeped again slightly louder and more insistently, but upon looking at the Tilasa Katya only saw her shake her head.

    Katya pushed the button on her own com-link, radioing the central guard station to report that although the droid indicated the presence of a being without authorization, it was in fact only Si Nhala who did not have a working link.

    “Check,” she heard the guard report back. “We’ll reset its alert status from here.”

    Almost immediately, the droid’s interface lit up blue – the universal all-clear color – and moved to continue its patrol through the halls of the attendants’ quarter.

    “Why didn’t you show your com?” Katya asked earnestly. It echoed through the dome of the intersection between halls.

    The cause was revealed easily, once Nhala lifted her hand to let Katya could see. Her com-link was attached as it had to be at all times in palace walls according to regulation. But the small light from down the hall showed just enough of the com that Katya could see it was clearly damaged.

    It seemed such a small matter, to have a com-link damaged. But then again, they were made of exceptionally durable synthetic alloys, and Katya could not actually remember having seen a broken one. There was also the way Nhala’s looked at the floor – even in the dark – and she could sense the Tilasan had a longer story.

    She had been about to pull her friend down the hall and insist that she exchange it for another when Nhala spoke.

    “It was the commander,” she said. “The commander did it.”

    “Commander Wyatt? Did - ” she asked, but was interrupted from asking more as the Tilasan’s words began tumbling out.

    “He smashed it. Against that, the pillar. The bones in my wrist broke.”

    “Nhala!” her friend began protesting as quietly as she could, but failing rather.

    “Shhhh…..I’m fine, my lady. My wrist will heal. Lilyyli will heal it later and I can move it fine. It’s the com that’s the problem.”

    She pulled her sleeve up to show Katya again, who marveled at the way the Tilasa deftly moved her broken-boned wrist. It was as though, to any outside eyes, nothing was at all wrong with it. Then Katya looked past the wrist at the face of the com-link, its tiny circuitry exposed in more than one spot. Still, Katya couldn’t see anything unusual.

    “I can exchange one,” Nhala said as though reading Katya’s mind. “But this one was modified. And I can’t let them see that. I’ll lose some of Ashera’s respect.”

    Nhala spoke of her brother – though they shared no parents – and Katya sensed real fear in the Tilasan’s voice about that.

    “Nhala, calm down,” she said, reading Nhala's voice more than her otherwise and always very still manner. “How was it modified? And what does Ashera’ have to do with it?”

    “It was Ashera’s idea. He wanted holos of the commander for us to take back. He thinks the clones will turn on the Republic. He thinks the tribe should know where they’re weak.”

    Katya looked at her friend sympathetically. She knew Nhala was confiding in her a great deal. But she still didn’t know what she could do about anything. Hiding the com made little sense, since they would ask to have the broken one when a new one was requested. Still, she tried to calm her mind and see if that helped her come to any conclusion about how to respond or what to do next.

    “Nhala,” she said after thinking about it. “Is that why the Commander smashed it?”

    “He smashed it because he was angry,” Nhala said.


    “He wanted me to put a feed from Gaima’s suite into his.”

    Nhala was never entirely forthcoming with information, but Katya thought the picture was becoming clearer. And it was, in fact, something ironic.

    That Ashera’ would determine with Nhala to create holos of the commander for analysis later made perfect sense considering their vulnerable position as a nomadic species without a planet. But that it would be smashed and Nhala’s task jeopardized over the commander himself wanting cameras placed on Gaima (a technically legal if vulgar act)?

    Nhala had been asked, Katya recalled earlier that evening, to prepare and service Gaima’s suite. More than one attendant was, since the celebrity was the main entertainment at the Queen’s upcoming gala and always received the very best.

    And the rest of it shouldn’t have been surprising really, Katya thought, but clones didn’t tend to show human inclinations towards or against a lot of things. They wielded their authority heavily, were work-driven and serious. But apparently even clones had, well, typical male recreational interests.
    Kahara likes this.
  2. Mando-Man

    Mando-Man Jedi Master star 2

    Dec 1, 2008
    An interesting start. Shame it wasn't finished though...deadlines suck.
    Viridian-Maiden and Kahara like this.
  3. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Fascinating stuff here. If the story itself continues, I'd love to read it, i.e., Palace intrigue and schemes. ;) Happy also to read more of Katya. @};-
    Kahara, Viridian-Maiden and Mando-Man like this.
  4. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    Some quite interesting intrigue afoot in these palace halls. [face_thinking] Ashera's bit of information is definitely food for thought, and Wyatt's after more than just a peep show, I'll wager. I too would be glad to read more. @};-

    Are the Tilasans your own original species? I'd be curious to find out more about them, too.
    Viridian-Maiden and Kahara like this.
  5. Viridian-Maiden

    Viridian-Maiden Jedi Master star 1

    Aug 14, 2013
    Thanks! Just glad to be putting anything related to her down again. More coming after I ghost for a bit. ;)

    Yes, the Tilasa/Tilasans are an original species. Nhala was only meant to take a small role in my main fic, but once I started thinking about who she is and her background I became really fascinated with their culture/society. They're barely even alluded to here, but hinted at just the tiniest little bit in her reference to Katya as "Un-Sister" (meant to be a term of endearment/closeness) and my mention that Ashera' doesn't come from either of her parents. Hopefully I'll be able to include a lot more details about the Tilasa in upcoming updates to both this and my main fic!
    Kahara likes this.
  6. Kahara

    Kahara Chosen One star 4

    Mar 3, 2001
    I like the details of how it feels to be at the end of the Clone Wars, and the beginning of something they don't know yet. There's a strong sense of that kind of unreal feeling you get when large and uncontrollable events are happening. The way that Nhala shows up with "well, the commander just broke my wrist and also I might be accused of spying and/or I may actually be sort of spying" is really disturbing and brings up that same sliding-out-of-control feeling. The hints at Nhala and Katya's friendship are well-done, with the "Un-Sister" term and the way that they seem to be able to work together in this strange environment.
  7. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    I want to know more!!! Both about what happens next and about Nhala and her species. I'm confident that we'll hear more from Katya in your main fic soon, yes? Please? Pretty please? :)