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Saga Through the Glass

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by anakinfansince1983 , Dec 18, 2012.

  1. anakinfansince1983

    anakinfansince1983 Skywalker Saga/LFL/YJCC Manager star 10 Staff Member Manager

    Mar 4, 2011
    Title: Through the Glass
    Author: anakinfan
    Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala
    Timeframe: AOTC
    Summary: After Padme's rejection at Varykino, Anakin muses.


    It wouldn’t have to be that way. We could keep it a secret.

    But that would be living a lie. I couldn’t do that. Could you, Anakin?

    He initially wanted to reply with, “Yes.” Yes, he could. He could do anything—would do anything—if being with her were the end result.

    We live in the real world, come back to it! You’re studying to become a Jedi Knight, I’m a Senator. If you follow your thoughts to conclusion, they will take you to a place we cannot go…regardless of how we feel about each other.

    Anakin barely heard the first part of her statement as his heart pounded upon hearing her last words. He couldn’t describe what he felt then—ecstasy? Hope?

    Then you do feel something!

    I will not let you give up your future for me!

    And she wouldn’t. And that realization was where the conversation ended, with Anakin’s hopes dashed as quickly as they had come.

    You’re right. It would destroy us.

    Padme had left the room hours ago, was probably sleeping peacefully in her bedroom. Anakin gazed into the fire. For him, sleep was not forthcoming.

    Padme had talked of living in the real world. Of being rational. Anakin did not know how. And at this moment, no one envied rational people more than Anakin Skywalker.

    A rational person would never be in this mess. A rational person would have never made a fool of himself in front of Senator Amidala tonight. A rational person would realize, without question or hesitation, that as painful as it might be, she was correct.

    Keeping a secret, living a double life, would destroy them.

    Anakin tried looking at the situation the way a rational person might. The way Obi-Wan might. Padme was right. Their thoughts took them to a place they could not go. His expulsion from the Order, the destruction of all he had worked for since he was a child. Just the thought of Obi-Wan’s disappointed face was enough to shake him. And Padme—an affair with a Jedi would only result in a scandal that would be a permanent blight on her career. He did not really want her to take that risk, any more than she wanted him to give up his Jedi studies.

    It was no use. Tried as he might, there was no way to rework this path into one that he and Padme could follow.

    I used to think that if you looked too deeply into glass, you would lose yourself.

    I think it’s true.

    As Anakin looked through the door that Padme had exited earlier, all his attempts at rationalization were drowned out by an inmost deep cry of pain.

    But I love you. I can’t help it.

    It was that cry of pain that he did not know how to silence.
    Kahara likes this.
  2. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jan 25, 2006
    Poor Anakin here... you wrote his frustration and confusion beautifully. Great viggie!
    Kahara and anakinfansince1983 like this.
  3. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 16, 2005
    =D= Your usual great job. I echo Luna.
    Kahara and anakinfansince1983 like this.
  4. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Awesome and touching. If this continues, :D please tag.
    Kahara and anakinfansince1983 like this.
  5. mavjade

    mavjade Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 10, 2005
    Whew! That last line was killer!
    His frustration is most definitely palpable here, and it hurts my heart. Poor Anakin!

    Wonderful job!
    Kahara and anakinfansince1983 like this.
  6. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Jul 28, 2011
    Amazing job with the complex emotions in this moment. I really felt Anakin's turmoil and desperation, trapped between two impossible situations.

    Fantastic work! :)
    Kahara and anakinfansince1983 like this.