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Before - Legends To Serve My Master- a Story of the Sith- Dark Obi-Wan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Oct 1, 2004.

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  1. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    It's so cool to see something so totally different on the boards. Can't wait to see where you take this, VL!

    Shaindl
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Hang on everybody! This is going to be a bumpy ride! This story is just trying to get put on paper so fast I can't type fast enough. That probably means it's terrible, but at least writer's block lost my address for a while! I have everything outlined and a few more chapters written. Obi-Wan is just going to get worse and worse, so watch out! [face_devil]
     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Chapter 3

    Obi-Wan sensed the presence at the door just before the chime sounded. He sighed in exasperation but then schooled his features into the placid acceptance that was the hallmark of the good Jedi. You must appear to be the perfect Jedi Padawan, he heard his true Master?s voice reminding him.

    He opened the door and stared into Mace Windu's sharp eyes. He bowed deeply, masking his intense dislike of the man with a respectful smile. ?Master Windu, I am honored to see you,? he said. Then he allowed a worried expression to settle on his face. ?I haven?t done anything wrong, have I??

    Windu shook his head and asked to come inside. Obi-Wan stood aside immediately and invited him to come inside. He followed him into the living area and indicated a chair for the Jedi to sit. ?No, it?s nothing like that Obi-Wan,? Mace assured him quickly. ?We?I was worried about you,? he said.

    ?I assure you that my recovery is complete,? Obi-Wan replied. ?The healers have given me permission to resume all of my normal activities.?

    ?Yes, I know you are physically recovered,? Mace said. He seemed to hesitate and then spoke. ?I am more concerned about your spiritual recovery from your ordeal.? He looked at Obi-Wan, who had taken a seat opposite him. Again, there was a pause. ?You seem somewhat changed since your return.?

    The younger man laughed to himself as he considered how pleasant it was to see the old gundark a bit unsure of himself. He let a few tears gather in his eyes. ?I am sure you will agree that months of being held prisoner and tortured by a Darksider would change anyone.? He could not help the slightly mocking tone, even though he knew it was unwise.

    Mace?s eyes widened briefly and then narrowed once more. ?Of course, you are correct, Padawan. We must expect some changes to have occurred.? He stood up and reached out for Obi-Wan?s hand. ?I just wanted to let you know that we will be watching you to make sure you are being given the help you need.?

    Obi-Wan recognized the subtle warning in the words. ?I am honored to be the center of the Council?s attention, I assure you.? He smiled and shrugged, seemingly unsure of his talents. ?I hope that I will prove to be instrumental in determining the direction of the Order one day.?

    Mace?s smiled faltered just a bit but then he stood up straight. ?Oh, I?m sure you will be remembered among the Jedi for a long time, Obi-Wan. I have no doubts about that.? He gave the young man one last searching look and then turned away.

    Obi-Wan watched the tall figure walking down the hallway, his eyes narrow and hard. He wasn?t afraid, he was a Sith and he knew there was nothing he had to fear. But he would have to be careful so that he didn?t cause Windu to alert the Council too early in the game. He sighed, it was a complication he could have done without.



    *****************************

    Jedi Master Dooku stalked through the hallways, his anger radiating out in waves. He didn?t even attempt to shield his feelings, his anger was too great. He muttered to himself as he made his way back to his quarters. Any Knights or Padawans who happened to be in his path quickly got out of his way. His tall and elegant figure was a familiar one to them.

    He was known to be slow to anger, so to see him in such a state was disquieting. The Master was among the most honored of that rank. But he knew that there were still whispers about his former Padawan. There is Master Dooku, they would say as they saw him pass by. His apprentice is one of only twenty who have left the Jedi Order. They say that one is a Darksider now? Their voices always went low and quiet on the last word.

    He had been devastated when Qui-Gon left the Order, and when the rumors had started to fly about his fall into darkness he had wondered over and over again what he had done wrong. He had watched the Padawan left behind by the Master?s treachery. Poor young Kenobi had grieved and yearned for his fallen Master.

    Dooku had finally asked the Council for permission to
     
  4. LukesTheMan

    LukesTheMan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2004
    Obi-Wan recognized the subtle warning in the words. ?I am honored to be the center of the Council?s attention, I assure you.? He smiled and shrugged, seemingly unsure of his talents. ?I hope that I will prove to be instrumental in determining the direction of the Order one day.?

    Mace?s smiled faltered just a bit but then he stood up straight. ?Oh, I?m sure you will be remembered among the Jedi for a long time, Obi-Wan. I have no doubts about that.? He gave the young man one last searching look and then turned away.


    Very nice conversation between Mace and Obi-Wan. Why do I feel like war has just been quietly declared? I hope you update again soon, I want to see where this is going! [face_devil]

     
  5. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Love this so far my dear. Only one thing..

    Poor Xan! :_|
     
  6. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    So Dooku is Obi-Wan's JEDI Master, and Qui-Gon is his Sith Master! That could get complicated. Can't wait to see what he does to Mace, and I'm thinking it won't be pretty!
     
  7. JediNemesis

    JediNemesis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Sheesh, this is getting deeper and darker by the line . . . so Dooku's a Jedi? :eek: It's quite interesting to see him not being evil. And I love Mace's role in this, IMO he doesn't get enough screen time for being so cool. :p
     
  8. SilSolo

    SilSolo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    This is a very wierd fic and I kinda thought it was Dooku AU at first.
     
  9. SilSolo

    SilSolo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    This is a very wierd fic and I kinda thought it was Dooku AU at first.
     
  10. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    VL, this is just great. I love the prominence you're giving to Mace. Shaft Windu is just too cool not to be used more. I hope he doesn't get caught. Dooku's presence was a surprise, I'll admit - but I love the addition. Should be a lot of fun when all these people start coming together. :D

    Since you've conquered DWB, could you tell me how to banish the hell out of him. Been a bit of a companion lately...glad he's left you alone, though. :)

    Shaindl
     
  11. Odd-Thomas

    Odd-Thomas Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Very cool to see Dooku and Mace in this. I wonder what you'll do to torture them? I know you will, the only question is how!
     
  12. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    VaderLVR--this is awesome! I'm eating up every word! Keep it coming! Type faster! :) The twists are getting better and better. It is so....weird....to imagine sweet Obi as so cruel...but i love it!!! :)
     
  13. VadersMistress

    VadersMistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2004
    Good job, Mom! I always knew you were twisted, LOL!
     
  14. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I love this. You have really made Obi-Wan into one creepy guy while maintaining his placid facade. Too bad Windu is wondering just what is going on. Loved that Dooku is still with the Order and Qui-Gon is not. Wonderful twist.

    Great job!!!
     
  15. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    He would protect him, no matter what the Council or Master Windu might say on the matter.

    So, Obi-Wan has an ally with Dooku. Nice twist.


    The young man touched the screen lightly, imagining it was his Master?s hand. He would never let his Master down, never.

    I continue to love this twisted relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi.

    I also love Mace's suspicion. Wonder what trouble it will get him into. [face_devil]
     
  16. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Whoa! Dooku's a Jedi? Interesting. I hope he can uncover Obi-Wan and Qui-Gons true intentions before anyone (especially Mace) gets hurt.

    Great work so far. =D=
     
  17. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    LukesTheMan Yeah, war is definitely in the air! Thanks for reading.

    obi_ew I know! I'm sorry! But somebody had to die and Xan had all the money, so... [face_devil] I hope you can forgive me!

    AnakinsHeir Things are going to get rough for Mace, that's all I can say! O:) Thank you for reading.

    JediNemesis I'm with you on Mace, I love his character. It's only going to get more twisted! Thanks for reading!

    SilSolo It IS very weird, but that's not my fault. They dared me to write an evil Obi... Thank you for reading it in spite of the weirdness factor.

    Shaindl Well, see DWB is attacking me on another story, so I guess he's trying to make up for that. You gotta love Mace, I mean the man is a legend! Dooku is here for a very specific reason, I promise! [face_devil] Thanks for reading!

    Odd-Thomas Well, I'm just hurt that you would think I intend to torture Dooku and Mace. Okay, I admit it, I have terrible things in store for them. Or maybe not... Thank you for reading!

    SarakVrae It is a lot of fun to see sweet Obi-Wan as a sick and twisted Sith, isn't it? Snicker! I love picturing him that way, too. Not all the time, but every so often it's a lot of fun. Thank you for reading!

    VadersMistress Just remember, I passed the twisted gene onto you.

    Master_Noi Yeah, Obi-Wan is pretty much twisted all up in knots over his Master. Not a very healthy relationship. Dooku does want to protect Obi-Wan, but we'll see what it costs him.
    [face_devil] Thank you for taking the time to read this!

    JediMaster_Jen We'll have to see how timely Mace's warning will be. It's about to start coming together! Thank you for reading.
     
  18. SenatorHermione

    SenatorHermione Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 21, 2004
    What a truly twisted and evil tale! I love it.
     
  19. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Fascinating little duel of words between Obi-Wan and Mace. ?I just wanted to let you know that we will be watching you to make sure you are being given the help you need.? I hope that I will prove to be instrumental in determining the direction of the Order one day.? And of course the pinnicle-- ?Oh, I?m sure you will be remembered among the Jedi for a long time, Obi-Wan.-- oh dear we really don't know exactly how this will turn out.

    Love that Dooku would try to complete Obi's training.

    I can only say I hope this story continues to plague you until it's all typed out and here. It's fabulous!
     
  20. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Chapter 4

    The man who had once been Qui-Gon Jinn looked down at the quivering fool who had been stupid enough to believe he could cheat a Sith Lord. The former Jedi sat in what could properly be called a throne, his head resting on his hand, his elbow propped up on the arm of the huge chair. He sighed deeply, fully aware that his casual attitude was not calming his supplicant.

    ?Do you think me stupid, Dorgo?? he asked suddenly.

    Dorgo gulped and seemed to be searching for the correct response. His large eyes stared at the Dark Lord and even from his throne, the Sith could see the Rodian?s trembling.

    ?Oh no, My Lord,? Dorgo stammered. ?Certainly not!?

    The Sith smiled almost tenderly. ?So why would you think that I would not notice that your monthly payments have been sadly lacking?? He stood up and took one step closer to Dorgo, his ebony cloak dragging on the steps. ?I know exactly how much glitterstim you sell every month, and so I know precisely what you should be paying me.? He shook his head. ?And yet you steal from me and expect me to remain ignorant of your crime.? He took another step closer and watched as Dorgo flinched back. ?Therefore, I must assume that you think me stupid.?

    Dorgo threw himself down at Qui-Gon?s feet and began to blubber excuses. The Sith let Dorgo ramble for a while, even let the poor creature kiss his boots and beg. Then he simply pulled away and ascended his throne once more. He settled his large frame in the chair and appeared to be deep in thought about the situation. Then he looked up as if he had reached a decision.

    ?Dorgo, you have proven yourself untrustworthy. Would you not agree?? He stared down at the now silent Rodian, who nodded vigorously. ?I think it is clear that you can no longer be in charge of my operations on Tatooine.? Dorgo began to tremble once more. ?But I will grant you your life. Consider yourself lucky.?

    Dorgo knelt down in front of the throne, proclaiming the Sith to be the most merciful of beings, and wishing blessings upon him and all of his house. Qui-Gon smiled and accepted his servant?s gratitude silently.

    ?You are dismissed, Dorgo,? he finally said. ?And do not presume to depend on my forgiving nature for mercy a second time. You shall be given an unimportant position in Mos Eisley and perhaps you may earn your way back into my good graces one day.?

    Dorgo began to back out of the audience chamber, ignoring the snickering of the guards as he tripped over some unseen obstacle. He righted himself quickly, and continued on his way out. He was about a meter away from the door, and freedom, when the Sith Lord cleared his throat and called out once more. Dorgo stopped abruptly, his eyes large with fear.

    ?One more thing, Dorgo,? Qui-Gon called out, almost as an afterthought. He smiled coldly. ?There is also the small matter of the information you gave to a spy three days ago.?

    Dorgo gave a high squeak of fear before his throat would allow no more sound to be issued.

    ?You didn?t think I knew about that, did you?? He shook his head. ?When will you fools learn that I know everything, see everything, and can do anything??

    ?You see, Dorgo, that spy was mine, sent out to test the loyalty of my subjects.? Qui-Gon threw back his cloak and rested his hand on his lightsaber. ?And you failed the test.? He brought his hands up and lightening flashed the length of the audience chamber, striking Dorgo square in the chest.

    The Rodian had time to scream once and then was writhing on the ground. It took only a few moments and his struggles stopped.

    The Sith met the eyes of every guard and servant in the room. ?Remember what happens when you fail the test.?

    **********************************


    Obi-Wan waited for his Master?s orders. He was sitting in the diner, nursing a cup of hot caf. He wondered how long it would take for the orders to come through and worried that he would be missed at the Temple.

    It had become more and more difficult to escape Windu?s observant eyes. Obi-Wan had decided
     
  21. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Oh this is great! How'd I miss this one???

    Hehehe loved how you have it that Qui left the Order instead of Dooku *snrk* hehehe

    Sooo Obi doing 'undercover' work, eh? Keep them shields up big time! And lookit! Dooku is in it! [face_love]

    Great job so far VaderLVR64!!! I'm enjoying it! :D
     
  22. Jedi_Chani

    Jedi_Chani Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2004
    ?You see, Dorgo, that spy was mine, sent out to test the loyalty of my subjects.? Qui-Gon threw back his cloak and rested his hand on his lightsaber. ?And you failed the test.? He brought his hands up and lightening flashed the length of the audience chamber, striking Dorgo square in the chest.

    The Rodian had time to scream once and then was writhing on the ground. It took only a few moments and his struggles stopped.

    The Sith met the eyes of every guard and servant in the room. ?Remember what happens when you fail the test.?


    And I thought getting an "F" was bad! Yikes! Great update.
     
  23. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Ha, another post... sweet!!

    I knew that handsome Sith Lord... er.. I mean that nasty Sith wasn't going to let Dorgo go. Oohh, the Jedi Healers supposedly sabotaging their own transport for those reasons??? How diabolical of the Sith the think that up!

    This is truly wonderful VaderLVR!!
     
  24. jeday

    jeday Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 4, 2004
    Ex-Qui-Gon plays cat and mouse with his victim. [face_shame_on_you] :D :D
     
  25. LukesTheMan

    LukesTheMan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2004
    He knew that such misfortunes were only the beginning. Already, the rumors had begun to fly across the galaxy that the Jedi intended to grab power for themselves and install their Jedi Council as the ruling body. And of course there were the whispers about the Jedi kidnapping infants and taking them to their Temple, to be raised as Jedi slaves. After all, how was a parent to know that their beloved son or daughter did indeed go on to become a Jedi? Contact between parents and child was forbidden, so who was to know what the Jedi did with all of those children?

    Well that campaign is just plain cold, effective and diabolical, but darn cold! This is great! Mean old Qui-Gon is really sithly, isn't he??

    [face_devil] Can't wait for more.
     
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