Saga Turning Into Myself (slight OT AU) - (Mon Mothma, Leia, others) - Thank you!

From last Sunday's post...

PK - too clever you are!

OE - glad you're enjoying them!

Ish - I think Leia's centrality to the Rebellion sometimes goes overlooked. I think they would all have felt her loss.

From Wednesday's post...

Ish - right, like it's not obvious now...

OE - ...and like you don't know what happens!

Diane - she's got a lot to decide on now. Thanks for always reading!

Starrunner - glad to see you're still around! Yep, Mon is Padmé and Padmé is Mon.

PK - well, I'm glad someone didn't know! I thought everyone had it figured out.

Nem - I guess that showing the OT from the other side - ie. from within the bases instead of the 'outside' view we get in the movies - was part of the reason I wrote this. I'm glad it's coming through. I'm glad that the twist worked for you, even though you knew it was coming.

And now on to my favourite part of the story...

* * * * * *

Chapter 7

Having an older sister with two children, and being surrounded on a daily basis by a large number of women, Padmé had heard more than she could ever have wanted about the pain of childbirth. She thought she knew what the fuss was about.

She never could have imagined it.

A scream ripped out of her throat as another contraction came, held and after an eternity, passed. Falling back against the pillow of the rough pallet, she was grateful when a cool cloth was brushed over her face and she opened her eyes to smile wanly at Obi-Wan and the handmaiden, one of her lesser ones, that hovered behind him. He smiled back, and laid his hand on her forehead. Cool relief spread through her easing the pain she was feeling. The moment was too short as the next contraction began to gather strength.

?Relax you must. Over soon this will be.?

?Easy for you to say,? she almost bellowed at the ancient green Master, ignoring the reluctant amused snort from Obi-Wan.

She forgot both Jedi as the pain came again, and she focused on continuing to breathe. Gasping, her world reduced to her stomach as the overwhelming need to PUSH filled her. She yelled again as she did so, her shriek cut off by an equally indignant one. Someone that upset at being born, she thought as the need to push came more insistently, could only be a daughter of mine. She didn?t know how she knew it was a girl, but knew she was right.

A second wail joined the first and Padmé collapsed onto the bed. Weakly, she lifted her head and looked to where Obi-Wan was holding her two children in his arms, both giving up on their crying to study him with interest. He looked back in equal interest, a faint smile lighting his face. It was the happiest she could remember him looking in a long time.

He must have felt her gaze on him because he looked up to meet her tearful eyes, his smile fading. Grief beat at her heart as he spoke. ?A boy and a girl. Both healthy. Both beautiful.? She nodded and he left, the handmaiden trailing behind.

It was the last time she saw her children. She never even knew their names.

* * * * * *

Her convalescence was long; the combination of having given birth to twins in a place with no amenities and the grief of having lost them nearly destroying her. Master Yoda was patient and supportive, tending to her every need, never taking offense when she raged at him and the injustices of a galaxy so unsafe for her and her family that she could not keep her children with her.

But slowly she mended, and the day where they had to part grew closer. She knew it was necessary for her own safety, agreed at the same time she had agreed to give up her children to a life of being hidden away. The little Master was able to conceal himself in the Force to some degree, but there was always a chance that someone ? there was no need for them to specify who ? would track his Force signature. But her heart rebelled ? was she truly required to give up everyone who she had ever cared for?

And then the day arrived.

They h

 

That was so sad. That she had to give up her children to protect them from Anakin. She did the right thing but it was very hard.... That she never knew their names made it doubly hard, I thing.

Keep going. I'm still waiting to see how she and Luke will get on!!! Great job as always.

 

It seems to be the day for sad stories

 

chilling, tragic, i need more. Leia's centrality is often overlooked, though I sometimes think I overdo her.

 

Great work . . . great flashback. Loved Yoda.

 

Beautiful and moving post my dear. You make me sick!

 

glad to see you're still around!
Yeah sorry about that. I'm not always good at consistantly posting.

The post was *shivers* chilling. Great Idea tho, Padmé as Mon, fighting with the rebellion to restore the republic. But will Luke or Leia ever know? especially Leia cuz she remembers her?

 

I usually don't like Mon=Padme AUs, but this one is so well written I can't help but love it...great work!

 

Hey all!

Another post. Not edited to the degree I would like, but work's been miserable today and I"m sick. Not that I'm whining but...

Okay, I'm whining. Sue me.

Diane - I think that might be the saddest part of the entire story. That that family was ripped apart because of Anakin's decisions.

PK - sorry, but I just had to do my part, y'know?

Ish - and you shall have more! I'm glad you're still enjoying this!

Nem - don't tell Diane, but I love Yoda too. I know how much you love italics - hope it didn't bother you too much...'cause there's more today.

OE - pfft. You make me sick all the time!

Starrunner - that's okay - I understand. I wish I could take credit for the idea, but I can't - it was a gentleman by the name of Peregrine7 who hasn't logged on in a while. Probably left since it took me so long to get this started...

Quara - wahoo! New reader! Welcome! Have you read others? Admittedly, I haven't spent as much time reading OT as I have PT, but I haven't seen any other stories with that idea. I'd be interested in seeing how they do it. I'm glad you're liking my version of events! Thanks for responding!

* * * * * * *

Chapter 8

The streets were rough, but she had been in the field with the troops, and dirt and grime didn?t scare her. The money Yoda had left her was enough to keep her for some time, but not enough to keep her in the style she had once been used to, so she rented a cheap, dingy little room above an even dingier cantina.

She moved through the days on autopilot, roaming the streets for lack of anything better to do until she noticed the dimness that indicated dusk, when she returned to her room. When winter passed and it began to get warmer, she only noticed because of the heavy weight of her hair on her neck. Without much thought she found a place that bought hair and had it cut so that it sat in a ragged bob on her head.

The only thing that brought her a brief flicker of pleasure was her evening trips down to the cantina. When she had first rented her room, she had bought a small cook plate to prepare her food on. It was then that a remnant of her pampered upbringing reared its head: she found she didn?t know how to cook.

She tried, her inbred stubbornness not allowing her to admit defeat until she had truly put effort into it. Finally, after the winter had finished, she gave up, and tentatively stepped into the cantina below her room, drawn by the enticing odours. She found it served hot, good food for a decent price and she wondered dimly if the Force really did work in mysterious ways. By the end of the night, she believed it did.

It was one of those comfortable places where all the patrons know each other. She kept to herself in a corner, ignoring the friendly greetings when the regulars realised there was a stranger in their midst. After the third or fourth such greeting, they finally respected her wish to be left alone.

The mix of people in the cantina was an interesting one. The types one would expect were there: down on their luck people like her and students in search of a good, cheap meal were in ample supply. But it was the ones a person wouldn?t expect ? the well-dressed business people, the people in understated clothes that her trained eye picked out as rich, the off-duty security people ? that really stood out to her. Looking them over, she dismissed them, not interested in what drew them together.

Or so she thought. She was just finishing her meal when the conversation in the place turned to the current state of galactic affairs. Despite her best efforts not to listen, she couldn?t help but pay attention.

?The Emperor has turned the galaxy into his personal playground!? One declared.

?Vader?s his personal lapdog,? another concurred.

?Ever wonder what they get up to on that big old ship of theirs?? Another asked to cheers from the crowd, before they settled down to a much more serious discussion of the Empire?s recent restrictions on the travel of non-Hu

 

Wow, the two characters are merging into something so familiar it's kind of eerie.

 

Absolutely loved the backstory. I can so see her doing this - slipping a bit as she became more relaxed among friends. It was so sad that she was arguing with the man just moments before he died.

Wonderfully done!!!

 

Oh my! This is developing into something really amazing!

 

Missed a post. Good thing I decided to up this for you. Wonderful example of the incredible writing job you are doing on this. I could almost picture myself sitting amongst them listening to her impassioned words. Love how you are creating such a deep and entirely plausible backstory for her.

 

Wonderful post. I love the character of Ma'ehl - he sounds like the kind of guy I'd get on with . . . outspoken, but avuncular at the same time.

Her whole backstory is brilliantly worked out. Great job!

 

Ish - I'm not sure you could have said anything nicer. If you're right, then that means I've accomplished what I set out to do. Thanks so much!

Diane - I have to admit, these three posts are my favourites of the story. I'm glad you're enjoying them too! BTW, any chance of an update on Betrayal soon? Just curious, no pressure, really!

PK - thank you - that means a lot.

OE - thanks for always propping up my ego. Really, I so appreciate your support.

Nem - I liked Ma'ehl as well - too bad I had to kill him off so quickly.

This is the last post of Part I. I'm not particularly happy with Part II, so I'm going to rework it, so there won't be a post tomorrow. As well, Sunday I'm going to be out of town so there won't be a post then either. I'll do my best for next Wednesday, but I'd rather present something that I'm happy with. I hope you'll all understand. I do have the framework - I think it just needs some more meat, if that makes sense. Thanks for being such great supports!

* * * * * *

Chapter 9

Another part of her had died in that cantina. More people dead because of her, she was sure. There was nothing left to give aside from her life, she realised as she ran, so she headed for the hidden rebel base. She had heard enough in the cantina to be able to find it, and so she had knocked on the door, offering herself up.

Only to find her true colours showing through again. When the stormtroopers had started firing on the Rebel troops on that first raid, something inside had snapped. It had been second nature to take command after Melsta had been killed and it had brought her back to life the way going to the cantina had. It was then that she understood what Yoda had meant when he had said she still had something to offer. If she died, it would be fighting for the things she had always fought for: peace, justice, freedom.

The Alliance had an unwritten policy of don?t ask, don?t tell; if any of them recognised her, they kept it quiet, willing themselves to forget and soon they did, leaving her to be simply Mon Mothma, a fellow soldier in the war. It was more than enough for them that she brought advanced training in combat, strategy and planning to the Rebellion - who cared who she had once been? In those early days, there was no need to follow the formal structures a normal army would, so they promoted her as fast as was possible, until within a year she was sitting in on the High Command?s sessions. By the end of the second year, she was chairing them.

She knew that they had questions about where a woman such as her could have learned such skills. But they didn?t ask ? the shared goal made it irrelevant. They used her abilities as she began to use theirs, the quicker to get rid of the Empire. But they all knew - except for her, it seemed - that having someone with her talents on their side was a boost none of them could have asked for.

So she never revealed who she was to anyone, not even Carlist. She had been tempted, most of all when the Empire razed her planet to the ground. Naboo had always been peaceful, had only ever tried to keep the galaxy on the right path, and look where it got them. But still she held back, even though she knew her presence could have rallied many people to their side. If the Empire knew she lived, they would hunt them down even more ruthlessly. In the end, she decided it was a risk she just couldn?t take...

..and it had been a balance she had maintained for nearly twenty years. But now she had a decision to make. Could she truly keep her identity a secret now that her son had miraculously shown up?

When she finally fell into an exhausted sleep, she still hadn?t found an answer to the question.

* * * * * *

Several days later, she still hadn?t decided. When she had awoken the next morning, she had decided to take a ?wait and see? approach. Somehow, she thought the answer might just come to her. The thought had held sour amusement ? was she starting to channel Jedi? She t

 

Poor Mon, she just kept getting hit over and over again with heartache. And then to see her son doing the same things that Ani must have done, to say 'wizard' and bring back the memories must be horrible for her.

Great job. I've been enjoying this very much.

As for Betrayal...errr... My writing has been garbage lately (I'd use stronger words but they'd ban me) so it's not coming any time soon. Sorry...

 

That was a heartbreaking post! I feel so sorry for her. Sacrificing so much in the past and still feeling as if she needs to keep doing it. Better woman than I.

 

Now if I could only find my daughter ? but I suppose one miracle is enough to ask for.
Wow, well i hope that before this is over she finds out about Leia's true heritage.

?I am?? ?your mother? ??Mon Mothma.?
OMG that would have been so hard to say.

But for now she could cry ? for herself, her husband, Obi-Wan, Yoda, the Jedi, the Lars, her newly discovered son and for her still-lost daughter. She slid down the door and sat on the floor, the tears finally overwhelming her.
Wow, I feel so sorry for her, the sacrifice, the pain, the years of not knowing, deffinately heartbreaking.

 

It really is kind of scary how much sense this is starting to make. How does she NOT realize who Leia is? The humor is so Padme, the grin so Anakin!

 

That was sad, but sweet how she wanted to know everything about her son.

 

Heartwrenchingly sad, but it was sucha wonderful image of Leia and Padme watching Luke train. I felt so bad for Padme in the end

 

And on to Part II. Thanks so much for all your patience, my few and faithful readers.

Diane - she is getting hit over and over, but she's tough. She wouldn't have come this far without being so. Sorry to hear about Betrayal - but now that it's been a few weeks, any progress? No pressure - just curious.

OE - while I feel that Padme would act like that, I hope the fact she feels like she constantly needs to sacrifice her own needs comes across as something of a fault, because I think it is. She gives far too much of herself. Thanks for the all the support and smacking about the face and head you've given me lately.

Starrunner - I hope she finds out too. Thanks for reading!

Ish - glad to know it's making sense - I don't make sense a lot of the time - just ask OE. I think not realising who Leia is makes sense - it's always harder to recognise what's right under your nose.

PK - sad, yes. I thought so too. When she decided not to tell Luke who she was I wanted to smack her.

Hananiah - oh, I'm glad you liked that! And I agree, poor Padme.

Thanks for reading, all of you. Hope you enjoy Part II as much.

* * * * * *

PART II

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

It was strange, Padmé thought often, how quickly time could pass. The three years after the victory at Yavin were packed and flew by without her seeming to notice. Once people heard how they had succeeded against the Death Star, they flocked to the Alliance, requiring numerous new training facilities be built, while supplies to equip, feed and clothe them had to be found. Pacts were signed with various sympathetic planetary governments, often right under the noses of the Empire. Padmé, in her guise of Mon Mothma, was instrumental in getting these agreements done, her long buried political skills rising again. She sometimes wondered if Yoda had known all along what road her life would take when he said those last words to her.

But most of the time, her mind was taken up with the details of running a rebellion on a galactic scale. Hit and run raids to snatch supplies. In and out missions to wreck Imperial morale. And slowly, they began adding allies, more people, better equipment, and hope began to swell.

If she didn?t have a reason before to work for the end of the Empire, she did now; now, her son?s life was at stake. So it was ironic, she often thought, how she went out of her way to avoid him.

She was a strong woman, she had finally accepted that, but she didn?t know if she had the strength to face her son on a daily basis and not reveal everything to him. That was part of it. But the bigger reason, the one she tried daily not to admit to herself, was that she didn?t want to be close to him and then lose him as she once had. So she stayed away, watching from afar and working for the day that she would be able to tell him.

That's what she was thinking about as she made her way through the frosty corridors of their Hoth base. Blowing into her hands in a futile attempt to warm them, she resolutely turned her thoughts away from Luke as she always did, turning them back to wondering why she had been called out of the bed she had finally managed to heat up. Finally reaching the Command Room, she palmed the door and stepped inside. The faces inside were grim.

Not the grim of ?the Empire has found us again and can we please start evacuating now?? nor the grim of ?we lost a shipment of medical supplies entering mid-Rim?, but rather the grim of ?we?ve lost track of a rather key person and what should we do?? It was a look she had first grown familiar with back when Darth Vader had captured Princess Leia.

?Who is it?? She demanded.

It was Carlist who answered. It always seemed to be him it seemed who gave her bad news, even when he didn't know how badly it would affect her. ?It?s Commander Skywalker.?

Every species had its colloquialism: the Mon Calamari said their gills stopped processing air; the Bothans said they stopped transmitting secrets. F

 

Oh, Shaindl, another wonderful post. I just love the way you write. It's so strong with emotion but not overwhelming and harsh. Perfectly done. I loved that Padme stayed away from Luke because she couldn't bear to lose him again. I can picture the whole scene here so clearly. It was lovely yet sad that she thought she might lose Luke anyway.

I look forward to more. Please!!!!

As for Betrayal, there will be a post on Thursday. I've been pushing myself to finish one post at least (I really should support the Qui-Gon challenge thread more but that fic has to come first). But now that RL has quieted a bit, perhaps I'll update more consistantly. Thanks ever so for asking.

 

This is the most amazing story I've ever read! I registered because I wanted to review your story -- been lurking for quite some time.

Your characterization of Mon (Padmé) is just spot on and I love your writing style -- it portrays all her emotions perfectly. Besides, I have always found Mon = Padmé scenarios to be extremely fascinating.

Keep on writing and I'll be eagerly waiting for an update!

 

daydreamer You should read her other stories. They are just as amazing!!!! Especially her 2 road stories. Leave me breathless at her expertise with words and emotions. She's one of the best writers on these boards.