JCC A scientific investigation of Muslims, Islam, and Islamic Muslims

this is the thread where we list muslim facts, data, and hypotheses in order to further our understanding of these implacable foes of democracy

FACT ONE: Muslims are mammals.

FACT TWO: Muslims fight ALL the time.

FACT THREE: The purpose of Muslims is to flip out and kill people.

FACT FOUR: Muslims love KFC.

please add information to our impressive store of knowledge. mayhaps a hadith that you read about on the internet once or something?

 

PPOR

 

you... you want me to prove that muslims are hairy and have mammaries?

 

dont google "hairy shirtless muslim", btw. at least not with the filter off

 

FACT FIVE: I saw a Muslim on the train once. She was wearing a headscarf, and I thought to myself: why do you hate our way of life?

 

this is not a fact. to make it a fact, i suggest generalising. for instance

"FACT FIVE: Muslims wear headscarves and hate our way of life on trains."

 

Muslims can kill anyone they want! Muslims cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this Muslim who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the Muslim killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a Muslim totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

 

FACT FIVE: Muslim women hate our way of life, yet they still ride our trains

How's that?

 

Replace Muslim with Ninja?

 

FACT AND FURIOUS: Muslims are primitive but they can be a gracious people if treated the right way. If you look at them right in the eye and speak slowly you can expect them to drop their ritual swords and offer you some dates and camel jerky.

 

Can't be. If they were ninjas you'd never see or know they were there and they wouldn't leave anyone alive to tell those tales.

 

FACT NEWS ALERT: On Halloween, instead of candy for trick or treaters, Muslims hand out hookah pipes. Heathens.

 

Fact and Furious 3: Tokyo Drift

Muslims cannot eat glorious glorious bacon.

 

A real muslim ninja:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Halal_Guys

 

FACT: only 30% of muslims are arab

 

But make sure you go the "real" one as my cousin always tells me when I visit NYC.

 

FACT: Muslims are not made of muslin.

 

FACT 87: muzzums pray to their mecha gods, the autobots, three times a day.

 

Fact: this will end badly.

 

You forgot Islams.