Thanks for reading you guys. Ben has much to slog through. The note will be addressed, eventually. I can relate to Ben’s situation. The poor kid is only 14 at the moment, and I was that age not too long ago, so of course I have the teenage-acting-up part down pat Tag list: @Lady_Misty @TrakNar @mavjade @immertreu @Hazel @lukemaraben BTW: If you would rather a PM/Convo to a tag, let me know. Data-pad: On. Entry 3 Today has been… great. I landed on Ossus and visited the two people I wanted to see: my Kamkam and Tiontion, also known as Master Kam Solusar and Master Tionne Solusar. My first memories I have are of Kam and Tionne. They took care of me as their own for the first two years of my life while my parents were off saving the galaxy. They will always be my second parents – my Kamkam and Tiontion. I’m the only knight who is allowed to call them by their first names without the word “master.” Near the end of the war, they both got seriously injured by Darth Caedus’s GAG goonies when he ordered the extinction of all the Jedi Masters. Tionne had both legs and an arm shot off by some idiot major and Kam was shot by a sniper and was seriously injured. I haven’t been to see them and I felt like I should. I entered the Academy’s medical ward dressed in my nice tan Jedi robes with a big vase of blue irish flowers and a hand held GameGuy. I saw a friend of mine, Naria, working at the front desk. She’s a crème coloured Bothan. If I were a Bothan, I’d probably think she was very beautiful. But we’re just friends. She smiled as soon as she saw me. “Hey there, stranger.” “Hey, yourself. How are you?” I asked her. “Overworked and underpaid,” she said with a grin. No Jedi knight is paid, but everything is taken care of for us – no rent, no groceries, no taxes (that we have to pay anyways). “How are you?” “Fine,” I said. “I finished my last exam yesterday, so I should be getting a diploma once all my stuff is marked and approved.” “That is, if you passed.” I rolled my eyes. “Of course I passed. Anyways, can you point me in the direction of the Solustars’ room?” “It’s about time you paid them a visit. They could use a new face and some smiles,” she said with a heavy sigh. My heart went tight. I was already feeling guilty about not visiting them. “They’re in room 9.” “Thanks, Naria. Is there anything I need to know before going in there?” “Master Tionne Solusar still isn’t strong enough to be fitted for cybernetics,” she said. That’s no big deal for me. When I was 6, my dad’s cybernetic hand pretty much imploded and he had to go around for three weeks with no hand. “And Master Kam Solusar will do anything for non-medcenter food at this point. I keep expecting to go in there and he will have Master Tionne at lightsaber-point demanding a nerf steak.” I laughed. “Aright. I won’t feed the Masters.” Naria rolled her eyes. “They’re the ones you should be trying to make laugh with your lame jokes.” “Okay.” I headed towards room 9. I entered to see my Kamkam and Tiontion in standard medcenter beds, both hooked up to monitors and drips. Kam was asleep. His skin looked gray and he looked 10 years older than he actually was. Tiontion was pale. She was covered in thick white blankets, but I could see the stumps she had for legs and a left arm. Her right hand was above the covers. She was awake and reading a datapad. I thought I was prepared for their condition, but I wasn’t. I wanted to retreat in fear, but Tionne looked up and gave me a huge smile. “Ben!” she exclaimed, surprised delight shone in her silver eyes. “Come here and give me a hug.” How could I say no to my Tiontion? I slowly approached her bedside and set the flowers on her nightstand. I gave her a gentle hug. She practically radiated joy in the force, which helped put me at ease. “Thank you, Ben, I needed a hug.” I wasn’t going to tell her, but I had needed one as well. She then reached over and hit Kam with her one hand. “Kam! Get up. We have a visitor.” Kam slowly woke. “Wha?” He then looked at me. “Ben. It’s good to see you.” I walked to his side and gave him the GameGuy. “I figured you were probably getting bored in here.” He gave me a wink. “You arethe best Ben.” He opened his arms and I gave him a hug too. “Come,” Tionne said, patting the bed where her legs should have been. “Sit. Talk to us. We are getting bored of each other.” I cautiously took off my boots and got on the bed with her, like I used to do when I was little. I sat at the end of the bed with my legs crossed, allowing myself a small smile. Of course, the first question was: “How are you?” “I’m fine,” I replied. “How are you guys?” “Bored,” Kam answered. “Hungry.” Tionne shook her head. “Ignore him. He’s just a grumpy old man. We’re fine. I’m expected to be fitted for my cybernetics late next week, so we should be back in our apartment sometime soon.” We chatted for a few minutes about their recovery and my exams. She then dropped the big question. “How are things between you and your dad?” I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn’t going to lie to my Tiontion. “I don’t know. Things were fine, but since the war ended, it’s like he doesn’t want me around. I guess it’s partially my fault. He has his life and I have my life,” I rambled. “I yelled at him for forgetting to pick me up yesterday. He just kinda sat there and took it.” “Ben,” Kam sighed. “If there is one thing that I know in the galaxy, it’s that your father loves you more than anything. No matter what you do, he will love you and want you in his life.” Tionne took my hand in her own. “You are his life, Ben. You’re exactly like your mother was before she married your father. You are pushing him away because you are afraid of the hurt you may face when you lose him, but if you continue to push him away, you will lose him and it will still hurt. You need each other more than you know.” “I know that he loves me. But he wants me to see some shrink. He thinks I’m broken or something.” Kam sighed. “You are not broken Ben, but no one said your life was going to be easy or black and white. You do need to talk to someone about what you have gone through. If you think it needs to be your dad then tell him that you want to speak to him. It might be hard and awkward for you both, but I think you both might need it. He might not realize it, but he has been through a lot too.” “And if you need to talk to Kam or I, we are just a holocomm away,” Tionne reminds me. “I know.” I then sigh. “Do you guys have anything you need me to do? I don’t feel like going back just yet.” Tionne nodded. “It’s fine to need some time to think. I need someone to go to the planet of Kalnoryme. It’s currently uninhabited, but in the Old Republic there was a small Jedi Alcove there. I need someone to go and tell me if I need to go there and salvage anything when I get better.” I smile. Some time alone on an uninhabited planet might be nice. “Sure. I can do that.” “Do you mind if I contact your father for you, Ben?” Kam asked. “I’ll tell him that you were here and that you are on a short mission to Kalnoryme for Tionne. And I want to tell him that you want to talk to him when you feel that you are ready.” “Okay.” My mom used to be the messenger between my dad and me, so I was thankful for Kam’s offer. It’s just easier for someone else to present my requests to my dad. “And tell him that I love him and that I’m sorry for yelling at him.” We said our goodbyes and they told me to come visit again soon. I think I will. Things always seem a bit clearer after I talk to Kam and Tionne. I am currently writing this en-route to Kalnoryme. I don’t know if this journal is helping me ‘figure stuff out,’ but it is helping me organize my thoughts. Entry Saved Data-pad: Off.