LA, CA Dear Skyryder...

Dear Skyryder,

Problems I have with my padawan. Resistant to my teachings he is. Many questions he has. Impatient he is. He must unlearn what he has learned and yet he does not. All his life has he looked to the future. His dismissal is my desire. Advice I seek.

Desperate on Dagobah

 

Dear Desperate
Be firm, yet understanding. He is just a small padawan. In time he will come to know his place. Many mistakes he will make on his journey. This is not always bad, for we learn from our failures. However, create some ground rules, that can not be compromised. He is the padawan and you are the master. He must know these roles. Set a good example in your life. Show above all else that he is loved. It will work out.

By the Force
Skyryder

(oh and if that doesn't work, threaten to send him to an Imperial Boarding School far far away.)

 

Just for clarification sake, I was being Yoda writing about Luke. I'm not really have too much difficulties with my padawan, though there are days. [-o|

 

Skyryder,

I honestly can't believe I'm writing to you but I need advice fast. I don't have a lot of trustworthy friends, except for my first mate, Chewie. There's a spunky young girl that I am sort of liking, but she's totally into her cause and I think she may be interested in some farm boy I picked up in Mos Eisley. I heard she's loaded and that could be a plus. Do you think a princess and a guy like me could hit it off?

Thanks,
Solo

 

Dear skyryder,

I forgot what I was going to say.

Please help.

-me

 

Dear Solo
Stop writing me! I already answered your question. No she isn't going to love you if you keep being a pansy seeking advice columnist's opinions all the time. Be a man. Go for it.

By the Force
Skyryder

 

Dear Person who even forgot to include their name,

Are you gold plated? I ask because I think you are that Protocol Droid who got his memory wiped recently. Sorry about that. You are just going to have to live with not remembering anything. Ask your best friend for help, you know that short blue dude.

By the Force
Skyryder

 

Look Skyryder, I was just trying to explore my sensitive side but I see that you are not. I'm going to have my wookie kick your... well, anyways, thanks for nothin'. I better not see you around, buddy.

 

I'm sorry for my response. I'm at work today and it makes me angry.

 

Dear Skyrider,

What do you get a wookiee for Christmas (when he already owns a comb)?

Lurv,
Darth Astuart

 

Dear Darth Astuart
Actually this is a pretty common question around the holidays. People often make the mistake of getting them a razor. What a terrible gift! Unless Norelco comes out with a lawn mower sized model I would stay away from razors they just don't hold up. Also, they tend to hate wearing clothes so never give them that. What I do know they love is food. It is often said that a Wookiee thinks with his stomach. I would try the Steak of the Month club as a perfect gift for your Wookiee friend.

By the Force
Skyryder

 

Dear SR,

My counter-part droid partner, we will call her "Mrs." has a propensity to talk and make annoying comments when we are watching videos, or The Contender, or Survivor. Ironically, she is well behaved in movie theatres.

How do I correct this programming error? I have a "friend" who is a Royal Guard. Can he zap her with Force Pike?

Thank goodness for DVR, to rewind live TV what we missed.

Please help.

Signed,

Dazed, Confused and wondering
(... what I missed on the video)

 

Dear Dazed and Confused or as I shall call you Matthew McConaughey, because I loved that movie,

So here goes, Dear Matthew (also the first line to an Alanis Morresette song Unsent) I'm full of pop culture refs this evening.

What you need to do is confront her with this problem. Does she ask you questions? If so try ignoring them. She may get the hint. I think it is just her need to communicate with you. Be thankful she speaks to you, and likes you enough to spend time with you. If you have confronted her with this and she still speaks during movies the only thing I can say to you is Thank God for the DVR and Tivo. They are a man's new best friend.

Oh and no you can't have your friend use a force pike on her either.

By the Force
Skyryder

 

Skyryder,

I can appreciate your job stress. Hey, even I get boarded sometimes. No hard feelings. I'll write again later.

-Solo

 

Thanks Solo, you hang in there, I'm sure she will come around.

 

Dear Skyryder,

why?

?

 

Skyrider, if I may be so bold, please let me respond to Jilted:

Why NOT?

 

Dear JiltedToo and Jundland Jay

Why do you ask?

 

You guys are SO my uncle Richard.

 

Dear SkyRyder,

a) On Tuesdays & Thursdays my brother and I train in San Diego, a 45-min drive from Boulevard. We get home @ 1, sometimes 2:00 AM. Last night when we got in at 2 AM my mother started complaining that we are staying out too late. She understands that our training is what we love and live for, but she just hates that we stay out so late. She wants us to cancel our SD training days (T & Ths). What do you think?

b) I have a tiny, itty bitty, mini-crush on a guy. He has been a family friend for 8 years. I've always hated him but that was because he teased me a lot, like calling me lardo and loser and well, you get the idea. Last year I hadn't seen him at all until recently, in January, and there was definitely some sparks there. He's begun training with my brother and I and I'm beginning to have a semi-serious crush on him. We don't live close together, we only see each other about 4-8 times a month, and I don't know him all -that- well. Also, if things turn out bad, I don't want things to get ugly between my two brothers and their homies. Is this thing worth a shot? If I'm interested in a person, I'll usually make the first move. Should I give this relationship a chance?

c) I just wanted to have three points in this post. :] "Doo dee doo dee doo!" Gir



Contemplative & Hesitant in Boulevard

 

Dear Contemplative & Hesitant

I forget your age, but I do believe if you are a minor and your mother foots the bill for your life, then you have to follow what she says. Sorry, but that's life. One day you get to do this to your child. It is the way of the Force, Circle of Life crap. Now the good thing is that she seems understanding about the situation. She may complain but unless she is demanding you quit, then she is just complaining because she is worried about the two of you and though she wishes things were different, she understands and let's you continue. It isn't like you are out doing drugs and stuff so that is good.

To answer your other question, I say go for it. Here is a life lesson for you. Never go into a relationship worrying how it is going to end. That could turn into a self fulfilling prophesy. You said you don't know him all that well, so you may not like him, but I say go for it anyway. Start off slow, be mindful of the situation and if things are going south, get out clean and everyone is ok.

To answer your last question.
rama lama lama kadingy,kading-a-dong
shoowop, shoowally,wally yippity boom-de-boom
chang-chang, changadee-chang-chibop
yip, ayip,ayip, ayip, shoowa, sha wooly-woo
booglede, boogldee, booglede,booglede, shooby shoowop, shabop

AWOMP BAMMA LOOMA AWOMP BAM BOOM!

By the Force
Skyryder

 

Dear SkyRyder,

a) I'm 21, I pay for all the expenses......BUT you're right, the vehicle we use is not ours, and its very old and we put lots of miles on it. So for these next several weeks I'll take your advice and lay off of the SD training days, BUT once I get my car in May I'm am going to be back at the dojang. Man, I wish I lived in SD. Phooey.

b) We'll see about this one...

c) Haha, I love you SkyRyder. I'm going to make a t-shirt with your name on it. :]

Just Contemplative in Boulevard,
tr :]

 

Dear Skyrider,

What exactly does one have to do to deserve a T-shirt made with one's name on it?

All the love in the world,
Darth Astuart

 

Dear Skyryder,

Where or what does one have to do to get a quality steak with 500 deghree melted buttah... mmm.... buttah.

Signed,

Hungry

 

Dear Skyryder,

I run a small mining operation, small enough to escape Imperial notice. A former "friend" came back and with him came trouble. I did what I thought was best for my people by turning in my friend but I feel bad about it. What can I do?

Billy in Bespin