Saga Eclipse of Faith--Obi-Wan/Anakin Drama Pre-AOTC *New Post* 10/9

Well, I think you're doing just fine on both of them. Obi-Wan's self-doubt and uncertainty about his ability to train his padawan is tremendously touching - and very much in character - and Ani's restlessness and impatience fairly shout "Teen-ager".

I really don't mean that as an insult - but you absolutely MUST know what I mean - don't you? It is a singular period in your life - that will be like no other - ever. Trust me!

Very nice work - and thanks mucho for the dedication. You're making me blush.

CYN

 

What a quiet, yet insightful post. Very nice. Obi-Wan's doubts about himself and his concerns for his padawan came through so beautifully.

I'm convinced that Obi-Wan is one million times harder to write than Ani. Just try and change my mind

I won't try to change you mind but I will sympathize after trying to write humble Anakin. But don't worry, I think you are doing a wonderful job of portraying the different shades of Obi-Wan.

 

Poor Obi! You're right ( AGAIN! ) It IS harder to write Obi than it is to write Ani! GREAT POST!!!

 

Poor Obi-Wan. That was a wonderful look into his thoughts and feelings and insecurities about being Anakin's master.

 

Ooohhh, a challenge...LE I think you've done a wonderful job showing both the insecurities of Obi-Wan and the restless imperfections of Anakin. Yes, I did like the italics - I love flashbacks and all those little statements about Anakin's training really points out his superior talent in the Force while still being a teenager (yes, I do remember being a teenager and it was hard as heck to be one - I wouldn't go back!)

Now the challenge. I do feel that Anakin is harder to write than Obi-Wan (in my humble opinion - you know how hard I try to get them both right). Obi-Wan is well-loved, and his characteristics of honor, duty, self-sacrifice and wry humor will get him lots of accolades. I find him very easy to write because of them. Anakin, on the other hand, is a Jedi Padawan on the edge of darkness - push him too far and he will fail his training, his mentor and his calling. To write him on that knife-edge, to make him believable, even sympathetic, a swirling mixture of light and dark, you have to be very careful. Everyone expects him dark (at the age in this fic) so if you write him lighthearted, people will complain that he is not believable. But you can't write him too dark, because then if he interacts with Obi-Wan and Obi doesn't see the darkness, it won't be believable either (that a Knight of Obi's standing or the other Jedi would miss it). Besides, if you write him too dark, then all you want to do (all your readers want you to do) is to kill him off, not interact with the other characters. His is a much trickier personality to write....IMHO.

There, challenge enough for you...LOL.

 

Well, well well, diane. You're certainly presented a good argument.

But I still have to decline from agreement. Maybe I'm doing Anakin completely wrong, maybe he's too dark or light or muddled by my description, who knows, but I think Obi-Wan has so many more stories to tell in his character. There's a lot more, in my opinion, known about the background and reasoning behind Anakin, shown through his ties to Tatooine, his mother, Padme, Palpatine etc. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, is shown in the first movie already an adult, and is given far less (I could kill George Lucas) screentime in Phantom Menace. There's so much to fill in with Obi-Wan, to show how he comes from being the Padawan to the Master to the hermit to again, Master. And there's no real (in my opinion, once more ) darkness in him. I find darkness easier to write than a mixture of goodness, frustration, regret, and so forth.

Of course, someone could argue that we had Jedi Apprentice to fill in the Obi-Wan gaps.

I'd argue those books fill in Qui-Gon's past more than anyone's (not that you would mind that! ) and create, maybe, a base of why Obi-Wan accepts Anakin as his apprentice.

Whew. I guess there's more I could say, but I'm wiped out by all these things on various threads.

But I stand by my original comment. Doesn't mean anything, cuz it doesn't affect my story any, but that's just my opinion.

 

I love how you are still able to slip in that bit about his nice bare stomach even in the middle of a bit of quiet reflection

 

LOL at PK!

You wrote such insightful and beautiful posts looking into their heads. I think you're doing wonderfully at keeping them perfectly in character. I know I've told you before that you always do such a wonderful job at that.

 

Ah, LE But your challenge was about how hard it is to write the characters....I agree that Obi-Wan has many more stories to tell than Anakin, and, you are right, they've filled in Anakin's story much more so than Obi-Wan's. I also agree that the JA books were more about Qui-Gon than Obi-Wan (not that I'm objecting...LOL).

Ah, I find darkness easier to write than a mixture of goodness, frustration, regret, and so forth. I'm just the opposite. Obi-Wan's character is much easier to write for me than Anakin's slide into the dark. (although Sidious is a dream to write - the words practically jumps off my fingers and straight onto the page with him). To me, Anakin is always tricky to get just right.
But then I've heard other people complain that they can't get Luke right or Leia or Wedge. Everyone seems to have problems with at least one of the major characters...

Anyway, keep up the good work. I really like this thread!!!

 

Maybe it's just because I'm naturally evil.

I agree that Palpy's pretty easy compared to either Jedi. And so's Qu-Gon.

Update soon, I hope.

 

Oooh that memory didn't seem to be particularly happy...

Obi-Wan's sick and Anakin's a troubled teenager...all of this in a LE fic can only mean one thing - UBER ANGST!!!!



Seriously, nice post

 

Just running around giving an up to all of LE's stories hoping to get her attention.

 

CYN I hope Obi-Wan remains in character in this post. I'm worried about that. Great job on the start to 'Amber', by the way...

red Thank you. And humble Ani? There's a different angle.

diamond

Shiela Thanks for all the 'ups'. I hate being away from my fics. But its good to know you're missed.

PK I'm a writer (I like to think! ) but I'm also a female...

Cas Aw...Thank you.

diane Thanks for the debate. There's been a lot of that on the boards lately, huh?

Ginger I hope the second half of the flashback is a little better...

<>

Anakin balanced his chin on the heel of his hand. The world beyond the smeared cockpit window remained a dark composition of velvet black veined with violet. As the ship labored through space, stars were so near he could almost see their delicate, glowing vibrations.

He was surprised at how simple their beauty was, how easily it could engross the eye?even when the mind was already well-occupied.

Anakin drummed his fingers idly on the shabby armrest, looking away from the magnificent scenery, heart still heavy.

"We're wasting even more time." He grumbled, hitting a fist lightly on the chair. "I could be?"

The frustrated words trailed away in a sigh. He smoothed his hair back.

Force?How long's he been asleep? Am I supposed to do everything?

He glanced over his shoulder at the closed door. Their connection was always present, but the natural shields erected by unconsciousness , combined by the clouding effect of their argument, left his Master mostly shut off from him.

He was partially relieved, able to think freely without worrying what private feelings were intercepted by the attentive probes of Obi-Wan.

But this?absence wasn't comforting.

For all his stern reactions and strictness, Anakin couldn't imagine a day without his teacher. There was an innate goodness to Obi-Wan that the apprentice appreciated, even envied.

I should say something to him. Just so he doesn't stay this way?

He swallowed.

I don't want him to be angry.

I want him to understand.

One of the first things Anakin noted when he became Obi-Wan's student was that the young Jedi was never overly talkative. In conference, he spoke thoughtfully, tone raising seldom above its calm, uniform normalcy.

Even conversing with his closest, oldest friends, Obi-Wan was usually the passive member. His laugh was soft, cloying sound that caressed anyone who heard it.

A sound that had dwindled to a rarity over the past year.

Replayed by a serious, firm line stretching across his mouth, and shadow beneath his eyes.

Anakin yearned to approach his Master about the change, as he did about so many other topics, but he feared the man's judgement.

On Tatooine, he was accustomed to the constant support his mother lovingly gave. The encouraging glint in her chestnut eyes. The warm squeeze of her hand.

He knew, without a scintilla of doubt, Shmi Skywalker would listen to all he needed to say.

They were family. Her lifeblood flowed through him.

Nothing that intimate linked Anakin to Obi-Wan.

If there was true affection within Obi-Wan's soul for his Padawan, it wasn't as instinctive and unconditional.

Obi-Wan, as in every aspect of his controlled existence, had his limits. He would lend an ear to Anakin, yet the boy could never be sure he was actually heard.

Yes, his Master was quiet, reserved, willing to be confided in. But did any of the woes, anxieties, scraps of happiness streaming from Anakin reach him deeply?

Would he ever really allow it?

Anakin cracked his knuckles and sat back.

There was a time, one softly lighted morning, when he had caught a glimmer of hope?

As he emerged from sleep, remnants of his dreams floated up with him. Bits of strange, blurred images that he couldn't identify. In his teenage years, they had grown more frequent, a

 

What "worst"? That post was exquisite!! Sure, Anakin closes himself off from Obi-Wan a lot, thinking he's ready to be a knight, blah blah blah, but Obi-Wan himself doesn't really open up that much. That little flashback was heartbreaking Why so much ANGST??!! Wait, I like angst. Oh well, it's probably all Buckethead's fault, anyway

 

What...it was lovely. I loved the flashback and Obi-Wan opening up to Anakin. I think that Anakin needs more of that - he is not feeling a deep connection that Obi seems to crave. Hopefully, in this fic, they will find a common ground and become friends.

And, yes, there does seem to be a bit of debating going on, especially in the writer's resource board. It's getting rather rowdy over there...

 

It's nice to see the balance between Ani working against itself. On one side, he's saying 'Obi_Wan is evil, doesn't listen to anything and keeps his mouth shut' while he is also saying to himself 'well hang on juts a mo, Obi-Wan does listen and just wants to be friends'. I read what Diane wrote, and while it mad emy poor empty head spin, it does make a lot of sense now I've read that postie. There is a fine line between evil Ani and good Ani and I can only imagine how horrible he is to write.
Ok, big speech over, now I just want to know when Ani is going to realise that perhaps his Master has indeed been asleep for a mighty long time and that he should go and pop his head round the door? Come on...

 

Lovely and complex, LE! I like how Anakin's so contradictory - on the one hand wanting Obi to stay out of his thoughts, on the other wanting him there. Can't wait to see Ani's reaction when he realises something is now seriously wrong with his Master.

Shaindl

 

That post was a lovely way to show the conflict within Anakin regarding Obi-Wan. On the one hand he feels that Obi-Wan is too reserved and does not love him unconditionally like his mother did, on the other hand he remembers a time when Obi-Wan opened up to him about his wish that they could be friends and have a lasting relationship. I think it also shows the conflict within Obi-Wan. He wants to be a good master and guide Anakin but he also wants a loving relationship with him and he seems at a loss as to how to make it happen.

Great job LE and I am glad to see you back here, I was beginning to wonder where you had wondered off to.

 

small uppie.

 

wonderful job of showing a poor confused kid who sometimes (often) doesn't even know what he wants for himself.

 

uuuuuuup..

 

pointless little up

 

You portrayed the emotions clearly and made the struggle Obi-Wan is dealing with so real.

Great writing LE

 

Nice post and little flashback. I like the interaction you're portraying between Obi and Ani here. I don't read many Obi/Ani fics - especially those without Qui-Gon - but I like what you're doing here. Keep up the great work!

 

**Can you say short chapter?

Wait, can you say short transistion chapter?

Oh well. Just wait. Things'll get juicy once they start their little pilgrimage. **

JadeSolo Why so much angst? I dunno...cuz I love to see Obi pout.

diane I think this small conversation during the post will be a step closer to an understanding between them, cuz I hope it shows they're comfortable with each other.

freak Yeah, there's a very fine line between evil and good with Anakin. Sometimes I think I fumble with it, but I get more worried when I'm dealing with Obi-Wan. **shrug** Thanks, as always, for reading, my dear cheerleader.

Shaindl He may be starting to notice.... but will he be destracted?

Shiela I think I should've named this fic 'Story of a Million Conflicts'.

PK Thanks so much.

Ginger Thank you. I find it difficult to tell if I've written Obi-Wan at all realistically, and the most feedback is needed in that area.

Cas I know what you mean. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fics remain my very favorite thing to read. I read O/A's only when I'm familiar with the writer, and know I won't be wasting my time...unless I'm really intrigued by the story..and it has a dash of Qui-Gon mentioned.


Part 2
<>

Anakin stood in the doorway, hand curved around the frame. The room was dark, still. His Master was huddled in the center of the sleepcouch.

Obi-Wan's eyes were closed, fists under his chin, as if a great chill were sweeping through the space. He was snoring softly.

Anakin stepped into the quarters. It was unusual to find the man this way, dressed only in slightly tattered trousers, sleeping through the ship landing. The Master he was accustomed to would be fully clothed and groomed, watching his apprentice's progress from a short distance, arms tightly crossed.

Observing him, offering small pointers in a balanced tone.

Anakin frowned, walking closer. He had galvanized his shields during the quarrel, but lowered them a fraction, sending a questioning probe through the Force.

Obi-Wan stirred, a sigh slipping from his lips Scant seconds passed before he turned and looked, half-lidded, at his apprentice. "Anakin?"

The instant alertness actually relieved the boy. Some things'll never change. "Master, we've arrived."

A strip of shadow lay across Obi-Wan's sleep-creased face. "Oh?" He rose quickly, swiping dangles of hair from his azure eyes. "Oh, yes. Good."

His voice was thick, husky, hurried. Anakin studied him with a focused expression.

Obi-Wan glanced up. "What's wrong?"

The Padawan detached from his worry, loosening his posture. "Nothing."

The Knight nodded, a little unsettled, then gazed out the room's small window. He saw the lush forestry of Diahalla Vi spread out, a jade collage of clustered leaves and bushes. A smile touched his lips.

Anakin watched his reaction, a buoyancy lifting his own heart. After this barren year in their lives, it was wonderful to witness the Master in a moment of soft, pure happiness. "It's really beautiful." He said, when the push of silence became too much.

Obi-Wan drew away from the scene. "It looks?exactly the same as I remember it." His cultured voice was wistful.

Anakin titled his head. "You've been here before?"

"Once." Obi-Wan confirmed, reaching for his tunic, the muscles of his stomach highlighted by the muffled glow of the outside sun. He wrapped the off-white layers around his lean abdomen. "I was a bit older than you."

Anakin tried to picture his Master as a pimply-faced, gangly teenager, but to no avail, laughter constricted in his throat.

Obi-Wan must have sensed the stray musings. A brow arched in quizzical amusement. "Is it so unbelievable that I was your age at one time?"

"Not unbelievable."

Obi-Wan gave a satisfied nod, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Anakin allowed a grin to break out. "Just humorous."