Before Forsaken and Begotten - Chapter 33: When One Door Closes.... *COMPLETE* Quick note 2-21

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arldetta, Oct 24, 2003.

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  1. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Excellent! I'm looking forward to the next post. This one was wonderful as well. I liked how Tuuvu was so protective and yet very captain-official. Good merging of the pirate and the father....

    And, see, while I wrote this, you posted again. Good job. I liked the ending with the sabetour and all the blasters drawn! Liked, too, the standoff between Obi and the Healer (as always). Great job and I look forward to new posts. I assume the next one won't be tomorrow but next week.... hey, never hurts to ask...LOL.

    PS. Yes, I'm working on it.....
  2. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    WooHoo! You're back. I have missed your weekly posts. Thanks for the double.

    I get the feeling that Kuur is NOT going to be happy at all once they get to their destination. Qui Gon may very well have a nasty fight on his hands even with Obi's promise. Nice interaction :D
  3. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I'm so glad that this story is actually being continued. I can't wait to see what happens once Obi-Wan's completely in the hands of the Jedi. Will he have to go through the Courts? Will they actually release him to the Jedi? Will the Council take him back? Will he even want to come? So many questions!

    We are Pirates, there is no ?right thing to do.? I couldn't help thinking of Pirates of the Caribbean here, and their Code, which is apparently just a set of guidelines or suggestions. ;)

    I liked the way Tuuvu was recounting how their lives as pirates had become better since the introduction of Obi-Wan into the crew. Nice way of indicating how much they stand to lose and how much they might suffer when he goes back to the Jedi. :( Kuuur is correct; once they get back home, their lives will never be the same again.

    Qui-Gon certainly knows how to assert himself. I liked the way he explained the situation and backed Tuuvu into a corner.

    Ahhh, how sweet of Tuuvu to admit that he didn't try very hard to deny his cub anything.

    Fascinating detail about the ship being able to blend into its surroundings and the way that this technology must have come from beyond the Republic. Purchased from an unknown source ... hmm. No ideas here!

    I was touched by the way that Obi-Wan wanted to change Qui-Gon's perception of Tuuvu so that he could show the Jedi what Obi-Wan would be leaving behind. Is he secretly hoping that Qui-Gon will give him up voluntarily? Qui-Gon doesn't seem to be moving in that direction, though; he's thinking of healing old wounds between him and Obi-Wan.

    Wonderful description of Tuuvu's conflicting feelings about the Jedi; they're the ones who raised him into such a wonderful person, but they're also the ones who sent him away and destroyed his life. I like a leader who's willing to question his own judgement.

    Poor Obi-Wan, wanting to enjoy the reunion with his friends, but feeling burdened by the consequences of his choice!

    I liked the way that Naaur was trying to get to examine Obi-Wan, even though he already knew that the boy would resist, and the way he exclaimed in exasperation that he had to at least try because it was his job!

    Nice flashback to Obi-Wan's reluctance to ask others for help, and the way he'd been afraid of getting others in trouble by accepting their help, back in the time of Drrov.

    So Liior, and perhaps other Togorians are Force-sensitive, and Obi-Wan's been training them? Well, well, well.

    Benhd sounds like a typical engineer, more concerned with machinery and circuitry than any politics. I liked the way he just ignored everything around him and concentrated on the damaged consoles. But what's this? Who is calling whom a saboteur -- and why? Find out more in the next -- oh, wait, that's Arldetta's part. :D *cough, cough* I mean, I'll be looking forward to finding out more in the next installment.
  4. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    Another good post!

    I liked this part:
    The size of the ship was similar to the Zenah perhaps a bit larger. The design of the ship was sleek and planned for speed and stealth. But what caught the Jedi?s attention was the hull itself. Most ships appeared either organic or metallic, this ship appeared neither. In the shade of the trees surrounding it the Pirate vessel blended in to it?s surroundings. If one were not paying attention, they would certainly pass it without notice. Yet, it was not transparent or cloaked to appear invisible altogether.


  5. Thalia_Nox Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2002
    star 3
    You're back! **hugs Arldetta** Thanks so much for the PM. I would have hated missing the end to such a great fic!

    Excellent postie! Keep it up.
  6. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    A lovely cliffie to celebrate the holiday!
  7. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth, just had my wisdom teeth pulled. This keeps getting more interesting. And I would love to read your Farscape story.
  8. Musing Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2003
    star 2
    Hi Arldetta and everyone on board!

    It takes me a while to post - if ever - but I thought I'd try it now since the Togorians have caused me to do some unexpectedly heavy thinking over the holidays. Not a bad thing, really ? it kept my brain from going completely ?on hold,? so that the return of Darth Real Life wasn?t too much of a shock. Then again, I spent so much time trying to get into the Togorians? heads, I may not be in my own? :D

    A pack of wolves is the analogy that comes to mind when I think of the Togorians and what appears to be an essentially amoral mindset that?s rooted in their genes as predators. Wolves are fierce carnivores that prey on anything available and suitable to their needs. Most other creatures fear, or at least respect them. And yet they also exhibit loyalty, playfulness and affection among themselves. They are good parents and protective of their offspring. The key difference between wolves and Togorians, however, is that Togorians are sentient.

    Wolves make no distinctions between wildlife or livestock as prey because they can't. Togorians know that their predations are against Republic law, but they apparently don't think it applies to them. They've reduced the bloodshed in their attacks, but that's due to Obi-Wan's efforts, not because they think it's wrong. Not even Tuuvu, with his soft spot for children, is concerned about abandoning the initiates to an unknown fate until Obi-Wan pointed out that their circumstances was the Togorians? fault. In effect, Obi-Wan functions as a conscience for the Togorians ? the price of his help on their raids.

    It?s speculation on my part, but it looks as though the change feared by Kuuur is the need for the Togorians to grow beyond their predatory nature and their disregard for other sentient races as just prey. Obi-Wan?s maturity is evident in that he recognizes that he has to face the consequences of his actions ? something that the Togorians have apparently never done since they?ve always been able to escape to their homeworld. What prevented this course of action is that Tuuvu and other crewmembers of the Night?s Scream have learned to care for Obi-Wan, a non-Togorian, as a friend they wouldn?t leave behind. To my mind, the Togorian would be taking a big step in growing up if they voluntarily chose to stand trial with Obi-Wan.

    From all indications, growing up is going to be and will be a difficult process for both Obi-Wan and the Togorians. Will they survive it? Beats me, but I?ll be hanging onto your thread, Arldetta, with both hands to find out.


    P.S. Am I correct in assuming that the Togorians in your story are based on the species featured in the first book of Ann Crispin's Han Solo trilogy, The Paradise Snare? The name seemed familiar ? that?s why I?ve been cudgeling my brains about it. :)

  9. PaddyJuan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2002
    star 4
    oooh, a cliffie!!! so glad you're back!
  10. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
  11. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Hey, Arldetta Ahem... it is Friday...
  12. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    It's now late Friday and I am about to leave for a basketball game- where are you?
  13. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    OMGoodness, there be vultures about! :p

    I sorry folks, but I do have to post after I get back from work because there is no way I'm getting up early enough to post before work. Sheeesh.


    Anyway, I was able to finish touching up this chap. I have to admit, this isn't one of my favourites. I struggled too much with it, which pissed me off. *sigh* There are some good points but that about it. Anyway, you guys judge for your selves. Thanks for reading!!!! :D

    ---------------------------------------------

    Chapter 16: Transition

    ?Our individual roles we think
    Not so important to the plot
    The big picture unseen
    Leaving life in between
    Destroyed and Overrought

    There?s no need to point the finger
    We understand who takes the blame
    Delinquents caught red-handed in the act
    Crooks disguised as you and I.? - World go ?Round (No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom)


    Instantly, Qui-Gon took a position in the middle. His hands raised up to stop anything from happening prematurely. An appeal to remain calm, he reminded them, ?Please, we have come this far. Don?t let this end in bloodshed after all the work that has been done.? He glanced around looking pointedly at the leaders on both sides. What he also found surprised him, Obi-Wan had taken up a similar pose just behind him, their backs to each other.

    Nev Obser stepped forward, he did not have a weapon to wield other than knowledge. And he used it accordingly, ?The device they brought looks like the one we found. What are we supposed to believe??

    ?Why would we want to sabotage an already useless ship?? Tuuvu rebutted harshly. They could tell the vessel was failing. It was a miracle that Obi-Wan was able to land it before it failed completely. And above all, he wanted nothing more to do with the ship once they determined its value - or the lack thereof.

    Narrowing his eyes and frowning, Nev pointed out, ?That device was planted before we crashed. Do you pick your targets so far in advance??

    Laughing without mirth, the Togorian argued, ?Our targets are only ships that cross our path. We have no knowledge of their passengers or cargo until we board it. And if we did know before hand, we wouldn?t have bothered with you lot. We knew what we had to lose, and we would have never willingly placed Cub in danger.? Tuuvu glanced at Obi-Wan who was peering up at him through ginger bangs. A fleeting sense of sympathy passed between them.

    The quiet exchange and meaningful words seemed to effect more that the pair. The human engineer?s voice lost some of its edge. ?Then why do they look so similar??

    Annoyed again at the unfounded accusation, Tuuvu barked, ?How are we supposed to know? You asked for a homing beacon that is what we brought. We don?t even know what this other device of yours looks like. Maybe you are making it up.?

    Now that the tables were turning, Nev took up the defensive, ?Why would I do such a thing??

    ?How would I know? It is your fiction not mine.?

    Qui-Gon felt it was time for intervention, while they were in a somewhat rational mindset. ?Gentlemen, please this bickering is getting us no where. At least put down your weapons so we can discuss this in a civilized manner.? It took another few tense moments before the first blaster was lowered. Shortly after more followed, but none were holstered. Tensions still ran high and another outburst could be detrimental to their futures, but there was peace for the moment. ?Now, I highly doubt that the Togorians would have brought a destructive device when they have agreed to so much already. But we cannot over look any similarities.?

    ?How can you be so sure that they are similar in any sense?? Obi-Wan asked the engineers.

    ?It?s true that both have black casing and could probably be mistaken,? Nev accepted the challenge and laid out his reasoning, ?but it?s the locking mechanism that gave it away. Ours still is not released. Damage to the rest of the body allowed us to get inside.? Having been the first to discover the anomaly
  14. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Darn, did a nice long commenting post and then poof it was gone! Darn. Anyway, loved the post as always... I especially liked Bant's reaction to Obi-Wan's emotional residue. Poor guy has had such a rough life. Loved the device mystery, loved the twined braid and what it meant to Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon, of course, is headed towards trouble, right?? The man doesn't know when to back off...LOL.

    Looking forward to more. And sorry about asking. I had the day off and forgot that others did not!!

  15. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 4
    Thanks for your PM Arldetta letting me know you've begun posting new chapters. I was glad when you said you'd be reposting the story here, thinking I'd be able to reply as you posted the old chapters, but I never gave myself time keep up with the repost! :p Haven't gotten a chance to read your new posts but I'll be back when I do! :D
  16. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    dianethx - LOL, it's funny when people post at the same time. Yes, I wasn't exactly planning to have that last bit with the sabatour originally in there but I think it helps move the story along and keeps people guessing. ;) So when do I get more??

    flashbacca - Well, I'm glad to be back, mostly. Still have a ton of other things I would like to do as well but we can only do so much at a time right? And I did promise to finish. And don't you worry there may be a bit of a fight going on, but it may not be exactly who you thought it would be. :p Hope to see you around. ;)

    Jane Jinn - Well, I'm glad to see there's still interest. I sometimes wondered. Anyway, Oh there's so much more to come. I can't wait to get there. I've almost finished roughing out a big scene coming up and then we'll see where that all goes. Eventually, all your questions will be answered, it just might take a while. And might not be done by the time this fic is over. Savvy [face_devil] hehe. Yeah, I can see where the whole Pirate Code thing could be seen in their unspoken rules. But the way I see you can either believe things will work out for all of them or you can't. :p I think it will become much more evident how the Pirates will feel once Obi is gone. In the next few chaps, there will be a bit more interactions with them. I hope you like it. Qui-Gon has an ultimate objective, eventually he'll see it come to completion, but until then he will have to play the game to get there. So he has to set his pieces accordingly. And Tuuvu's inability to deny his cub, well, I think that just comes with 'parenthood.' My daughter's only 2 but man, no matter how bad a mood I'm in, if she gives me that smile, I melt. Next thing I know I'm giving her candy and letting her do whatever she wants. [face_laugh] And the ship and thier technology will be revealed all in due time. But probably not by the time this fic ends, maybe not even by the time the sequel ends, but you'll know when the time comes. [face_devil] More will come regarding Obi's choice and how Qui feels about it, I think maybe in the next chap, so hang on a bit longer. And I like to thing of Tuuvu as more of a guide. He became the leader because he was next in the hierarchy but he wants to be a father first. And I would be more worried about people who don't question their judgement once and a while. It helps clear away any doubts. And a good 'doctor' is one who is more concerned for their paitents than money or fame. Naaur is a man who is prepared to handle the worst yet not losing himself in the horror of his job. He feels it is his duty to help no matter the cost. And that's what I like about him. And more of the time with Drrov will also be coming. I just can't wait to really get this story rolling! :) Yeah, Obi's a very patient and very caring teacher, they have learned a great deal by his example. LOL [face_laugh] That's ok, sometimes I get carried away with all the questions too. Thanks for the wonderful reply and I hope you like the latest installment as well. :)

    keeper of swords - Yeah, I wanted the PIrate vessel to have a bit more pizzazz than most other craft and give it an air of mysticism. ;)

    Thalia Nox - Thanks! I'm glad you appreciated the PM, I just was gone so long, I figured a little reminder wouldn't hurt. As for an end :confused: this is really only just the beginning, we've still got a long, long, long way to go. :)

    PadawanKitara - Would it have been a Holiday otherwise? For that matter, would it have been a proper chap without a Cliffie to hang from? I think not! :p

    ca_tron - That's ok, I realize DRL is not always compatible, just get here when you can. I have to finish re-writing the prologue, as soon as I get that done, I'll send you what I have on my first ever crossover fic! [face_devil]

    Musing - Thank you very much for all your lovely comments! :D I know we've chatted, but I just love this thought. I mean, yeah, we have forgotten that even though we know them better now and kn
  17. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4

    Jenny the Jedi Girl - *winks back at ya* ;)

    dianethx - Why, yes it was Friday. I'm glad you reminded me. :p :D

    PadawanKitara - Looks like I just missed you. :( Well, I guess you'll have to catch this later. ;)

    dianethx - That's ok, it's happened to me on occassion too. You'll just have to tell me next time we talk. ;) And don't worry about it, I'm just bustin' your chops. But it was definately nice to see that there were people looking for a new chap. I definately was not expecting that. Yeah, sometimes I find it really amazing what my fingers end up coming with. I sometimes feel like it's not me who's writing but the story itself. The whole residual emotions thing and the braid all came out of no where. Threw me off for a while but then it grew on me. ;) And it's been real fun stringing everyone along with this device. I just hope a mob doesn't come after me when this fic ends and it's still unresolved! :p As for Qui, isn't his unfailing stubbornness one of the characteristics you like most about him?? Come on, you can tell me the truth. :)

    Happy Hobbit Padawan - No prob, I just wanted to let people know that I've finally gotten around to continue this fic. And since it's been so long since the last one, I felt a reminder was in order. ;) And don't worry, I know there's a lot here to catch up on, so get here when ever you can. ;)


    Well, Thanks everyone for reading. And I'll catch you all next Fritag!! :D

  18. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    Good. I liked chapter 16. Also, nice reference to the Room of a Thousand Fountains.
  19. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    That chapter held a lot of insight into Obi's prospective and eluded to what might happen.

    I'll be looking foward to reading it! If you want to e-mail it to me, I'll be able to read it quicker and tell how it is (which if it's anything like this one, it will be). :D

    Today is my last night at home until April. :_|
  20. Thalia_Nox Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2002
    star 3
    I loved your post, no matter what you might have thought of it!

    I feel so bad for Obi. He knows he has to hurt someone, whichever commitment he keeps.
  21. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    I was so excited when you let me know that you had updated this story Arldetta. It took me a while to refamiliarize myself with it and catch up but I finally did and it is as good as ever. It's great to have you back. :)
  22. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Is this the point where we cue the ominous music while waiting to find out the identity of the mysterius technology source?
  23. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
  24. Captain_Observant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 2
    I have to tell you once again how much I love this story!
    It is one of the first fanfic's that I fell for and I am glad to see that you are putting new stuff up!!!

    Thanks for the PM, with my observancy skills, it would have taken me eons to even notice the updates! ;)
  25. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    *runs after jenny*
    HE'S MINE! BRING HIM BACK!
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