JCC How To Live

Discussion in 'Community' started by ophelia, Feb 4, 2014.

  1. Coruscant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2004
    star 6
  2. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    I sense Count Dooku.
    heels1785 likes this.
  3. DantheJedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2009
    star 5
    I sense a plot to destroy the JCC.
  4. CT-867-5309 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jan 5, 2011
    star 5
    I'm putting a stop to this ****. Take your Star Wars somewhere else.

    Ophelia, these have been great, lots of laughs.

    I'd volunteer but we don't know each other.
    Last edited by CT-867-5309, Feb 6, 2014
  5. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    I can write generic nonsense for you, if you like. Or not. Whichever. :p
  6. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 9
  7. anakinfansince1983 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2011
    star 7
  8. Lazy Storm Trooper Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2012
    star 4
    Me please.


    Sent from my communicator using Tapatalk.
  9. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    @anakinsfansince1983, maltose is the new wheat gluten. Become a talk show and diet book sensation by announcing that everybody's problems stem from a terrible, undetectable reaction to maltose. You can head off any attempts to scientifically verify your claims by calling your anti-maltose book: "ONE WEIRD TIP THAT DOCTORS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW." Then sell wildly expensive "maltose-free" foods in brightly-colored, friendly-looking jars. By the time people figure out that you're scamming them, you will be rich. And maybe dead from maltose deprivation.

    @Lazy Storm Trooper, invent a dowsing rod for money, and get yourself a job in customs as a detector of undeclared currency. Make a few big busts to prove your indispensablity, and then refuse to work anymore unless you get to keep what you find.
    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  10. JoinTheSchwarz Comms Admin & Community Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 2002
    star 8
    1. Make a hole in the life
    2. Put your junk in the life
    3. Make her open the life
    Ramza, CT-867-5309 and ophelia like this.
  11. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    See I was making a reference with the hope that no one would build off of it. Thanks for needlessly pointing attention at my already terrible joke DaneCooktheJedi and making Ender Snidely all grumpy at me again for the 3,478th time this week. I hope you're happy.
  12. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 9
    I'm never grumpy at you, I just think you should not steal duende's schtick.

    You can steal his schlong though.
  13. Darth Morella Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2004
    star 6
    This is brilliant. Me, please.
  14. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    @Darth Morella, devise a Buzzfeed quiz: "Which credit card number best describes YOU?" Fill it with simple questions designed to get stupid people to reveal their credit card numbers. Make sure that at the end the quiz shows a picture of a cute puppy and some vague but complimentary-sounding verbiage, like: "You are obtuse but loyal. Withdrawn but gregarious. Young at heart but oh, so old in so many ways. You are generous to a fault and wonder if sometimes people are taking financial advantage of you." Then spend the money quick and move to a tropical island without an extradition treaty with your home nation.
  15. Darth Morella Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2004
    star 6
    Fantastic, I will finally be able to quit my underpaid job as a scientist.
  16. TheModFavorite Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 2007
    star 4
    i think i could use one of these to help undrearify my friday.
  17. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    @TheModFavorite, here is a good way to cheer up a dreary life. First, find a likely cult, preferably one with a deranged messianic leader. Ingratiate yourself with the leader as much as possible, until you're one of his trusted minions. Then, on a chance trip to Iceland, throw him into an active volcano one night, and tell his followers that he has achieved apotheosis. Assure them that he has left you on earth as his personal representative. Don't make the mistake that a lot of cult leaders make and force the followers to wait on you hand and foot all the time. This puts some of them off, and if you do things right, they'll wait on you hand and foot voluntarily. Just try to keep them reasonably happy and content, and now and again randomly forbid or command something, to show you still care. Then, on nights when you can't sleep, listen to them busily carrying on commandments you totally pulled out of your ass, and giggle quietly to yourself.
    TheModFavorite likes this.
  18. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Challenge accepted.
  19. TryWhistlingThis Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2012
    star 3
    How to live: free

    How to die: hard
    anakinfansince1983 likes this.
  20. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 9

    why doesn't she just PM beezel and save a lot of redundant effort?
  21. Darth Morella Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2004
    star 6
    Eh, where's the challenge in that?