Discussion in 'Community' started by ophelia, Feb 4, 2014.
I sense a trap.
I sense Count Dooku.
I sense a plot to destroy the JCC.
I'm putting a stop to this ****. Take your Star Wars somewhere else.
Ophelia, these have been great, lots of laughs.
I'd volunteer but we don't know each other.
I can write generic nonsense for you, if you like. Or not. Whichever.
@I Are The Internets,
OK, hit me.
Sent from my communicator using Tapatalk.
@anakinsfansince1983, maltose is the new wheat gluten. Become a talk show and diet book sensation by announcing that everybody's problems stem from a terrible, undetectable reaction to maltose. You can head off any attempts to scientifically verify your claims by calling your anti-maltose book: "ONE WEIRD TIP THAT DOCTORS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW." Then sell wildly expensive "maltose-free" foods in brightly-colored, friendly-looking jars. By the time people figure out that you're scamming them, you will be rich. And maybe dead from maltose deprivation.
@Lazy Storm Trooper, invent a dowsing rod for money, and get yourself a job in customs as a detector of undeclared currency. Make a few big busts to prove your indispensablity, and then refuse to work anymore unless you get to keep what you find.
1. Make a hole in the life
2. Put your junk in the life
3. Make her open the life
See I was making a reference with the hope that no one would build off of it. Thanks for needlessly pointing attention at my already terrible joke DaneCooktheJedi and making Ender Snidely all grumpy at me again for the 3,478th time this week. I hope you're happy.
I'm never grumpy at you, I just think you should not steal duende's schtick.
You can steal his schlong though.
This is brilliant. Me, please.
@Darth Morella, devise a Buzzfeed quiz: "Which credit card number best describes YOU?" Fill it with simple questions designed to get stupid people to reveal their credit card numbers. Make sure that at the end the quiz shows a picture of a cute puppy and some vague but complimentary-sounding verbiage, like: "You are obtuse but loyal. Withdrawn but gregarious. Young at heart but oh, so old in so many ways. You are generous to a fault and wonder if sometimes people are taking financial advantage of you." Then spend the money quick and move to a tropical island without an extradition treaty with your home nation.
Fantastic, I will finally be able to quit my underpaid job as a scientist.
i think i could use one of these to help undrearify my friday.
@TheModFavorite, here is a good way to cheer up a dreary life. First, find a likely cult, preferably one with a deranged messianic leader. Ingratiate yourself with the leader as much as possible, until you're one of his trusted minions. Then, on a chance trip to Iceland, throw him into an active volcano one night, and tell his followers that he has achieved apotheosis. Assure them that he has left you on earth as his personal representative. Don't make the mistake that a lot of cult leaders make and force the followers to wait on you hand and foot all the time. This puts some of them off, and if you do things right, they'll wait on you hand and foot voluntarily. Just try to keep them reasonably happy and content, and now and again randomly forbid or command something, to show you still care. Then, on nights when you can't sleep, listen to them busily carrying on commandments you totally pulled out of your ass, and giggle quietly to yourself.
How to live: free
How to die: hard
why doesn't she just PM beezel and save a lot of redundant effort?
Eh, where's the challenge in that?