Before - Legends Jemmy's Diary: an observation of the galaxy, the Jedi and sundry other strange people! * 24/10/06*

and he has that Jedi frown thing absolutely perfected.

That he does..

LOL!!!! I don't remember reading this one!!

But Ben ruining the "Mona Lisa" is just hysterical! And Qui-Gon putting the crayon in the kid's hand.. LOL!!!!

Too great!

 

It's amazing how many people are influenced by Jemmy once she gets out of the temple. It's kinda scary actually.

he has that Jedi frown thing absolutely perfected. But his eyes often have this naughty, twinkly look, like he's just erring on the wrong side of mischief.

Yep! That's our Obi all tied up with string!

 

These are a few of our favourite things!



Okay, I'll stop singing. I just couldn't help myself. That was great Jemmy and somehow I can't help but feel that the episode in the art museum might just be based on real life experiance?????

Kithera

 

These are a few of our favourite things!

Wait! I think I know that song! Hmmmm... Now where could it have come from... *cough*Soundof Sabers*cough*

*Realizes she better shut up about it before Jem brings up something she needs to write*

 

Hey jemmy! I'm all caught up now and Just wanted ot let you know I am still here reading!

 

ENTRY: ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX


I've got this sterile patch on my stomach to keep the infection away. The healers wrote me a sick line which forced me to sit on the sidelines during our physical education class at school this morning (you could tell by the looks on everyone's faces that they were really keen to be back after the holiday yesterday - NOT!). All the other kids wanted to see what was wrong so I peeled back the patch (Quiggy and An-Paj would murder me if they saw me do this) and let them see the green ooze. There were a lot of groans and stuff. They all thought it was really gross but also smart at the same time! So at least they aren't picking on me now.

I'm really worried about Ms. Vram right now. I was cleaning up my workstation at break time and she spotted the holo of me and Master Jinn and Ben that I keep in my desk drawer. I feel rather foolish for carrying this about with me although I've only done it recently since Sophie was kicked out. Before that she would have stolen it from me and used it for darts practice. Anyhow, I like to have it near me so that if I'm having a bad day at school I can look at it and remind myself how lucky I am to get a second chance like I did.

She started to ask me all sorts of questions?how old was he, what his name was, was he married and would he be coming to the exhibition at the end of the week? I said it depended on whether he could get away from his jedi duties but that I had someone else coming with me instead anyway. When I said the word "maybe" she virtually wrung her hands in delight! You see, Ms Vram's a little frustrated. I don't think she gets out much at all. Perhaps she's realized that time is passing her by.

I'm guessing she's on the lookout for a man.

And I think she thinks Quiggy will do nicely!

HELP!


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ENTRY: ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN


Ms Vram is definitely acting strange. She was asking all sorts of questions about the Jedi?she said she didn't want to embarrass anyone if she had to speak to Quiggy!!! My worst nightmare is coming true!

After Ben collected me from school I decided I had to speak to Master J. I never thought I'd see the day when I didn't want him to be near me but I felt that after all his kindness it was my duty to save his skin from the ferocious clutches of Ms Vram. I could just picture her in my mind following him round making big Nerf's eyes at him and leaving a big trail of drool behind her?yuck!

I didn't know how to broach the subject because I thought he might be upset when I asked him not to go with me. Infact that's exactly what it happened at first. He asked if I was ashamed of having a Jedi guardian and assured him that I wasn't at all ashamed of him. I made him promise not to laugh at me if I told him the truth?

I explained about the holo (which he smiled at - I think he was quite flattered that I would carry it with me) and that Ms Vram had seen it and had seemed quite interested. Quiggy said it was good that a teacher was taking an interest in their student's welfare. I then told him it wasn't my welfare she was interested in - it was his. He didn't understand, so I made it really clear to him: MS VRAM FANCIED HIM.

He sat there looking absolutely stunned.

Then he laughed for the best part of an hour!

And now he says he wants to meet her!!!

I'm doomed, diary! What do I do now???

Jemmy.


~~~~~~~~

ENTRY: ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY EIGHT


The big morning has arrived. I should by enjoying myself, being the center of attention but I am not. And all because I am worried that Ms. Vram will do something terrible and embarrassing.

Quiggy is still laughing at me. STILL!!! He says he's going to take a string of garlic to keep the vampire away from him. I don't think he's treating this with the seriousness it deserves!

Maybe if I stab myself with this kitchen knife I can get out of going?


~~~~~~~~~

ENTRY: ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY NINE

Actually that seems maybe a little too drastic, even for me.


~~~~~~~~~

ENTRY: ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY

 

She started to ask me all sorts of questions?how old was he, what his name was, was he married and would he be coming to the exhibition at the end of the week? LOL!!! Awww... Leona has competition!

And LOL! You deserved that, Qui, after baiting her.

Great job, Jem!

 

Oh, darn, Ms. Vram is based on me...

 

You would think after Ms Vram, Quiggy would realize that Jemmy usually knows what she's talking about. I love that Evla almost burst out with laughter. I know I would have! LOL!!

despite what Master Berlingside says they can't see through women's clothing just by staring at them.
But you've got to give the man credit for trying.

While I was reading I got hit with the thought of Obi sitting in the desert reading this. You know he had some good laughs!

 

Will reply properly when I don't have to contend with the cat trying to jump out on me from behind my computer desk...

***********


ENTRY: ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO

I hope the other kids will have forgotten about Ms. Vram's unsubtle attempts to become Mrs. Jinn on Monlis but something tells me that's not likely. The journey back yesterday was so silent (except for Evla's giggling) and Quiggy was ashen faced and I was radish red. Maybe this will teach the old Nerf not to be funny. Serious, yes. Serious is a good Quiggy expression. Funny just doesn't suit him, and he would quite happily tell you that being a jedi is no laughing matter.

He has my every sympathy on that score.

I spent the afternoon pretending to rest on my bed but all the time I was thinking about how much I will get teased when I go back to school. I seem to have spent more time out of school being ill than I have in it studying. An-Paj said that was almost inevitable and it might well be that way for years to come.

I think Evla gave him a hard time too because I heard hysterical laughter coming from next door.

At this rate Quiggy will be glad to escape to wherever it is his next mission takes him. Evla says not to worry, as it's a low-key diplomatic affair where his and Ben's presence were personally requested. Seems Quiggy has made loads of unusual friends in high places, which in theory is nice if you ever need a favor doing in return. Thing is, from what I've observed that's not how it works. (That's how it works on Corellia. You do something for someone and then they owe you with interest).

If you want a proper description of how it DOES work, see below:

Example 1:

KING of planet UGOOBULUGU: Help! Our planet has been overrun by giant insecty things the size of a Corellian Battle cruiser! They're devouring the local populace by thousands each day! At this rate there will be nobody around to keep the cantinas open! Please dispatch one jedi master and padawan to deal with the problem immediately.

COUNCIL: Send Master Qui-Gon and Padawan Kenobi, we will.


Now, forward on to several years later?


Example 2:

COUNCIL: Hello again, your royal gracious and magnificent majesty. We sent a couple of jedi to your aid some seven years ago, do you remember? The insect problem?

KING: Oh, yes. I recall that.

COUNCIL: Well, the thing is that we kinda need a great, whacking big favor from your planet now and we were thinking that one good turn deserved another and all that?

KING: Sorry, my memory must be playing tricks on me. Who are you again?

COUNCIL: The jedi temple on Coruscant.

KING: Where?

COUNCIL: The capital.

KING: Sorry?you're a bit faint this end?I think you're?breaking up.

COUNCIL: The insects, remember?

KING: If you've got problems with insects I suggest you call a pest controller. Good day!


That sort of thing?

I sometimes wonder why they bother with all this peace and justice garbage. It's not appreciated in the least. And it's taking away my friends (my family even) yet again.


*********

ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREE:


Ben's sorting out what clothing to take with him. If he runs true to form it'll be two pairs of underpants, two tunic tops and bottoms and one pair of socks (much lived in). I'm gonna have to buy that boy some new ones, preferably ones that don't disintegrate when they touch his feet?

I'd better explain about Ben's feet: they smell.

The reason they stink is because he lives in the same pair of socks for weeks on end. I've got no real idea why this is but it can't be healthy. It's certainly not healthy for Quiggy and me. Ben even sleeps in his socks! I have got a plan that might cure it but maybe I'll bide my time. Cruel to be kind, eh?

Ben also has a laundry basket. This is a sort of halfway house for all the scabby bits of washing (socks too, if they ever make it off his feet) and it is not a place you want to visit too often. I think Ben cleans it out only when he's down to his last tea towel to wrap round him!

That's a little unfair

 

::Chokes.:: Oh, no, Jemmy with a cell phone can never be good!

 

KING of planet UGOOBULUGU: Help! Our planet has been overrun by giant insecty things the size of a Corellian Battle cruiser! They're devouring the local populace by thousands each day! At this rate there will be nobody around to keep the cantinas open! Please dispatch one jedi master and padawan to deal with the problem immediately.

This just strikes me funny because 1) Jemmy in her ultimate wisdom actually came up with this scenario and B) I could just picture the conversation...
YES MAN: Your majesty? We are being overrun by giant insecty things.
KING: They'll get tired after awhile.
YES MAN: They're eating everyone in sight.
KING: They'll get full.
YES MAN: They're having to close the cantinas.
KING: Call the Jedi Temple IMMEDIATELY!

And Obi better watch what he says about Jemmy's perfume. I have a feeling it will come back to haunt him. And painfully.

 

LOL!

 

Jemmy is such a riot! I love her observations and how she is a wonderful mixture of old soul and 10 year old. Looking forward to more.

 

Hang on! Is he saying that I am cheap and flowery???

I'll murder the little vrelt! *giggles*

 

ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SIX:

Supper at Evla's tonight. Might as well get used to it. Still, I do like her cooking. Lots of chocolate. That'll keep us both happy!

Which reminds me, this comlink thingy is gonna be great! It means I can order stuff from outside of the temple without Quiggy knowing that a transaction has occurred. He's usually quite strict about Holonet time and what Ben and I look at but this comlink means I can order carryouts galore!

Of course, I'll have to remember to charge it to Master Windu's tab!

**************

ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SEVEN:

Supper was good. Ben wolfed his down as per usual. I could see the looks that Quiggy and Evla were giving him. Evla looked amused and asked Q if he actually fed him on anything, whereupon I prodded Ben with a finger and told her that he was one step away from Hutt sized. Ben was still upset that I'd sprayed his clothes with perfume so he told me he'd rather be fat than skinny. The meal was kind of quiet from that point on, with both of us picking at our food.

Rather than go back to Q's place I'm spending the night here with Evla, so I suppose this means I have to go back and grab all my things.

Looks like Ben isn't speaking to me now.

***************

ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY EIGHT:


I heard Quiggy tell Ben off for sulking, followed by a sulky teenage voice stating "she started it" and "I am NOT fat!" I think Ben's got a complex. Maybe I'll say sorry to him. It's not nice being teased.

I'm going to collect my things. I must remember my comlink thingy!

Oh, hang on a moment. Quiggy is telling Ben to help me move my belongings. This might be my chance to say sorry.


************

ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE:


Quiggy locked the pair of us in my room and wouldn't let us out until we'd made up! I wanted to say sorry but Ben wasn't going to back down. He said Master Jinn would have to let him out because of the mission tomorrow. I said that I didn't really think he was fat and that I would like to be less skinny than I am. He said that was okay but he still wanted to know why I'd sprayed his clothes with perfume. I said that I was trying to make sure his clothes smelled nice for when he went away. He said that I did it to make him look stupid infront of Jay. That kind of made me mad, so I picked up my toy Gundark by the leg and whacked him across the face with it. Fortunately it was a cuddly toy so it didn't do too much damage.

I remember Ben looking a bit surprised and then I took a bit of a funny turn and started kicking on the door and hollering to get out.

Ben said later on that I went utterly banoodly at being shut in there. I don't know what the problem was exactly, I mean it's my room and I sleep in there. Apart from the semi-frequent nightmares I have no problems with anything like that. When I locked myself in there after my argument with Quiggy a few months back I wasn't bothered at all. I think that was because I knew I could get out if I wanted. It was a different story when I was shut in Sal-Fina's cupboard, which had virtually no air, no light and no room. Anyway, Ben says I had a full-blown panic attack and he had to yell for Master Jinn to let us out.

By the time he did I was seeing little black spots swimming infront of my eyes. I had a glass of water and then I felt immediately better.

I'm not claustrophobic (my spelling might not be so hot here) although I don't really like confined spaces. I'm okay in the dark although again I prefer there to be at least some light. I don't sit and shake like a Nerf at a slaughterhouse when I'm stuck somewhere but being deliberately shut in made me snap. Guess it reminds me of that kriffing Levinstowe, rot his black heart.

Ben was a bit worried to go near me at first but I explained I was okay and that if he wanted we could hang his clothes out on the railing and give them an airing, which would take away the worst of the smell. He seemed pleased with the idea so we tied his trouser pants and tunic top to the rails by the legs and arms.

 

*delurks*

Jemmiah I keep falling behind but I'm still here!

That was excellent! Poor ben had an accident! hahahhahahahhahaha.



Great job!

 

LOL! Poor Ben

 

Well, it's true! From a certain point of view!



too funny! all the latest posts were wonderful! i cracked up over & over as i caught up! spended job!

 

I nearly made a remark about him being small but perfectly formed, than I remembered that I am not supposed to know about these kind of things so I shut up.

*chokes on soda*


LOL!!! Great job, Jem!!

 

I have learned from past experience as well as ruined monitors and shorted out keyboards NEVER to eat or drink anything while reading one of Jem's posts. She always forgets to put in a spew warning.

From a certian point of view. That's where he got it from.

 

Yes, spewing is often included in these stories.

 

Layren: Thanks!

Ish: Yes, indeed! Poor Ben.

SarkaVrae: Glad it made you laugh!

Miana: Don't choke! I can't afford to lose any readers! And I don't know the hiemlech manouvere!

Mouse: Obi-Wan stole most of his better material from Jemmy!

Ish: Spewing is purely optional!

**********

ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY TWO:

I'm going to miss them. I know they won't be far away but I will miss them dreadfully. A year or so ago I would have tried not to make many friends. You never know when they will disappear on you. I used to wonder what the point was. Now I have Ben and Quiggy and I am so glad...

But now I am scared that one day they won't come back.

Well, whatever happens it won't be this time around. Part of me would have liked to go with them on this mission but the other part of me is sometimes too scared to even set foot outside the temple. It sounds really weak of me to admit this but I like it when Ben comes to collect me from school. I like showing him off to everyone. I like to let everyone know that Ben is a jedi and they'd better not mess with me or he will sort them out! But most of all I like it because I feel safe when he is there. I know my school is not that far from the temple and it's a simple aircab ride for 5 minutes until I find myself at the doors, but I don't feel safe in aircabs. You get into one of them and you are completely at the mercy of the person flying it. What if that person's evil? Kids go missing every day on the way to school - you read about it on the holo news. I don't get into one of those things on my own without wondering if I'm actually going to get to where I am supposed to be or if I'm going to end up being fed into a garbage masher by some maniac?

I'm nervous. I know I am and that I probably have less to fear than most kids because of my jedi connections. If anything happened to me I know Qui-Gee and maybe Master Berlingside or Master Windu would come after me, but I am still scared. The big guy keeps trying to tell me that I am safe here and that Merdan won't find me but I lived the best part of five years with the man. I know what he is like.

Merdan's dangerous because he is unpredictable. You don't know what he thinks from one moment to the next. If he wants something done he just does it. He doesn't waste time. He's not big on scenes. Revenge doesn't eat away at him; he just waits until he gets his chance. I'm sure he is out to get Levinstowe. I don't care about that. I hope he kills him as painfully and slowly as possible. I'd like to hear him cry and beg for a change. If it ever came to a showdown I would have money on Merdan. Levinstowe is a 'risk taker' and that is why he always fails. Nadine always said he 'overextended himself'. I think that means he got too cocky and made mistakes.

It's wrong to want people to die. But I wouldn't cry if Levinstowe died. I think I would throw a big party.

I just want to feel safe, is that so wrong? And I never feel safe without Ben and Quiggy. I hope they come back soon.

***********

ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY THREE:


Back to school. Evla was very nice and made me breakfast although I could have done it myself. I feel that I should be helping her out coz she must be tired looking after screaming kids in the crèche. Maybe I'll surprise her tomorrow and return the favor.

I'm looking forward to using my com-whatsit for the first time! This could be very interesting!

*************

ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FOUR:


Ms. Vram isn't fond of technology at all! I think she's scared it might bite her!

She caught me showing my Com off to Derry Begsley, a boy in my class who is actually not that bad when you get to know him better. His brother is a secret swoop jockey?they don't have a proper swoop circuit on Coruscant yet so the riders have to practice on the streets at night when there is less traffic and not so many cops looking out for them. I just love swoops! They look so smart. Better than speeder bikes: they are for babies. I'm going to see if I can get Quig

 

LOLOLOL remind me never to give Jemmiah my account number....or to password protect EVERYTHING...

 

But now I am scared that one day they won't come back.

*Thinks of TPM*


LOL! Jemmy is just asking for trouble...


Great job, Jem!