Beyond - Legends Looney (short humour)

Excerpted from the reference files of Doctor Jonathon Kenneth Dart, Psychotherapist

Transcript of conversation

Dart: Good day, Mr. Skywalker, it truly is an honour to have a man of your distinction in my office. I?ve always been a great fan of your work, although to be honest I have always wondered a little just how you Jedi REALLY do it?

Luke: It?s all to do with the Force, Doctor, a sort of cosmic energy generated by all life. Jedi can tap into it.

Dart: Please, sit down on the couch. Hmm, not very democratic, is it?

Luke: Since when was nature democratic?

Dart: (sounding a little annoyed) Mmm-hmm, I suppose, Mr. Skywalker?

Luke: Please, call me Luke.

Dart: Very well, Luke. But tell me, what is the real reason you Jedi can do your things? I mean, how did you blow up the first Death Star?

Luke: Well, I heard the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi tell me to trust the Force, so I turned off the targeting computer?

Dart: (interrupting) I thought Kenobi died in the rescue attempt of Princess Leia?

Luke: He did. He still spoke to me, though. He told me how to find Yoda too, when I was on Hoth.

Dart: He told you how to find Yoda?

Luke: Oh, yes. Yoda was this little green alien who lived on Dagobah and could lift X-Wings with his mind? He was an ancient Jedi Master.

Dart: I see. What species?

Luke: (sounding indecisive) For all I know he could have been a muppet! He was this little green thing who talked really strange?

Dart: I see? And he trained you?

Luke: Exactly! (pauses) Well, not exactly.

Dart: Then what exactly?

Luke: Well, I had this vision of my friends in trouble, and I set off to rescue them before my training was complete. I should have trusted Yoda?s words. (sounds sad) It cost me my hand.

Dart: Had you been eating anything unusual before you had this ?vision?? (sounds cautious)

Luke: Oh, no, just Yoda?s soup?

Dart: Ah, I see? What was in that?

Luke: Oh, just your standard Dagobah junk-food.

Dart: I see? (sound of Dart typing into his laptop to send an investigative committee to Dagobah to investigate hallucinatory junk-food) And your training was interrupted?

Luke: Yes, that was when I found out Darth Vader was my father.

Dart: (shocked) VADER is your father?!? I dread to imagine the family dynamics..!

Luke: Yes, he tried to kill me.

Dart: Oh, do tell? (slipping into full professional mode)

Luke: He tried to kill my sister first, though!

Dart: Ah, on the first Death Star, I remember reading about it? Quite beautiful, is your sister? (wistful)

Luke: Yes, she is. I used to have a crush on her.

Dart: (sound of sitting up even straighter in seat, if possible) I? I see?

Luke: She kissed me once.

Dart: (shocked) Oh, um, ah? What did her husband make of that?

Luke: Oh, they weren?t married yet, weren?t even dating. I think she just did it to shock Han, truth be told. (sounds sad)

Dart: If I were Han, I?D have been shocked, alright! Kissing your own brother!

Luke: No, it wasn?t like that! (sounds reminiscent)

Dart: (deciding to drop that subject, sounding very nervous) How did it make you feel, when your sister and Mr. Solo married?

Luke: Very lonely. I sort of felt she was the lucky one, and I would always be alone. I mean, there had been women, but well, the first ? on Bakura ? was opposed to Jedi for religious reasons? I supported her daughter after she died, though.

Dart: Ah, you had religious differences. Those are quite common?

Luke: And then there was Mara, she's now my wife. She was an assassin for the Emperor, and tried to kill me. She wound up killing my clone.

Dart: Ah, um, I see? (pauses, sound of

 

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! That was great!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahah!! i can just picture Luke carrying on like everything was normal and the guy just kinda staring blankly at him...blinking...typing... pulling out a blaster. HOLD STILL YOU MAD MAN! ::shoots blaster:: DIE DIE DIE! oh...sorry...kinda got caught in the moment. but still that was great!

 

LOL. Now you have to do some more.

 

Good post.

 

Glad you all like it!

 

Oh my gosh! Ha ha, that was hilarious!

Will there be any more?

 

*TACKLE HUGS*

BIG BROTHER! You're BACK!


*hugs tightly* I've missed you so much! Welcome back to the wide world of the JC. Hope Uni has been kind to you.

Wonderful story, m'dear. Even if it wasn't listed under your name, I could have guessed exactly who it was. Only you could come up with that, Doctor Dart! I love you!

-Emmi

EDIT: WHO wants my Lukie to die? *goes into Mara-mode* *deflects bolts with lightsaber* You LEAVE my Lukie ALONE!

 

There won't be any more, no; it's just a shortie, inspired by a conversation in the Lit forum. Hi Em! Hmm, what do you mean, listed..? Ah, it's good to be back, altho' still at uni LOL!

 

I mean, Dart-dearest, if I had been given this story and not told who the author was, I could have guessed it was you. Totally classic.

 

Heheheh, bearing in mind the Doctor's name is 'Dart'..!

LOL!!!! Mucho gracias, Em!