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Before - Legends Ordinary Joys - a Qui-Gon vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Jul 6, 2005.

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  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Title: Ordinary Joys
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, OCs
    Time: Pre TPM
    Summary: Qui-Gon reflects on the path not taken. Written for the Qui-Gon Romance Challenge.

    Author?s Note: Originally posted in the Qui-Gon challenge thread for the romance challenge. If you haven't checked out the amazing works there, do so now. Right now, skip this and read that thread! This may not be what was intended for the romance challenge, but this is the plot bunny that bit.

    Ordinary Joys

    She was a woman of a certain age. Well past the first flush of youth, but not yet of that stately age when one?s eccentricities must be forgiven. It was sometimes an awkward age, far more so than adolescence, when the transgressions of the hormonally driven may be excused.

    It is a time when a special type of woman hits her stride and becomes more herself than before. This woman, obviously one of those rare ones, seemed perfectly comfortable inside her skin. Maybe the years had brought too much happiness for her to mourn the loss of her youth. In any case, her serene confidence was evident even to one who did not use the Force.

    The passage of time had already started to leave its mark, but its touch was light, giving her face character more than age. Her beauty was still evident in the somewhat softened lines of her jaw and cheekbones; it had faded only slightly, giving her a gentle sort of loveliness.

    Her form was still slim and supple, though perhaps not quite as it had been when she was a girl. That was to be expected if one observed the four children marching behind her in organized chaos. They ranged from a tall and lanky boy in his teens to girl of perhaps six summers who was chattering to an older sister as they walked.

    Their happy laughter could be heard even over the sounds of the market. Every now and then the woman would turn and observe them, just making sure that her little brood was still together and not getting into too much mischief.

    It was an ordinary sight, as ordinary as could be, but something about it struck the tall Jedi Master who stood quietly in the shadows.

    The woman was walking toward him and for a moment he thought her gaze flickered his way but then one of her children called out to her and immediately her attention went to him. The youngest had fallen and she rushed to her daughter?s side with a frown of maternal concern.

    Then the frown softened and a smile appeared, somewhat reluctantly it seemed, as if she did not want to injure the child?s feelings. The little girl was not hurt, just distressed at the sight of the mud now spattered on her blue skirts. The mother knelt down, ignoring the mud now on her own skirts, and wiped away the child?s tears with a gentle hand.

    He could not hear what she murmured, but he could hear the girl?s sobs taper off and a smile soon appeared on the face which was a miniature of her mother?s. The mother wiped the girl?s face and she leaned closer, touching her nose to her daughter?s and they giggled together.

    She examined the little girl?s skirt and patted her shoulder comfortingly, still speaking softly as she began to brush away the worst of the mud. Soon the child was laughing happily and the mother stood up.

    ?Mother,? the teenaged boy said impatiently. ?We?re never going to get there if Shyla keeps tripping.? Even from here Qui-Gon could hear the tell-tale cracks in the boy?s voice. He was on the verge of manhood, half man ? half boy.

    The mother did not chide him, she merely looked up at the son who towered over her and touched his cheek. The boy blushed and leaned away, but the Jedi could see the tiny smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. The man struggling to find his identity was embarrassed by his mother?s attention, but the boy inside him could not help but enjoy his mother?s affection.

    She laughed at his blush and shook her head, apparently not taking his rebuff to heart. The mother seemed wise in the ways of growing boys.

    Taking the little girl?s hand, she led her carefully through
  2. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Wonderful perspective, very believable for Qui-Gon.
  3. sheleigh

    sheleigh Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 31, 2002
    Lovely Vader!

    The portrayal of Qui-Gon was exact, and the language stunning.

    Beautiful :)
  4. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Still brings a tear to my eye. His panging half regrets... his observations of her, even my own desire to be that woman at that moment. You do have a gift to stir emotions VaderLVR.
  5. LadyPadme

    LadyPadme Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 26, 2002

    How lovely! Light and delicate, and written to make us all understand the regret that Qui-Gon must have felt in its full impact.

    Beautiful! =D=
  6. Jennifer_Lyn

    Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 8, 2005
    MMMM! This was lovely.
    I enjoyed the perspective of Qui watching the woman be herself in all her gentle beauty. I liked how he seems to truly understand what his alternative life might be like and still be completely faithful to the one he is living. And the words were so evocative. I have strong vizualization skills, but I didn't need them with this story, it was so picturesque on its own! Great job!
  7. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    Simply lovely! :)
  8. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 7, 2005
    Very lovely! Great job showing his perspective. It's sad that he realizes how much he's given up, but knows he has so much else.
  9. JediVeloJinn

    JediVeloJinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Nov 23, 2003
    mmmm. Very nice vignette.

    I liked how Jinn was just standing in the shadows, yet they greeted him.

    I also liked the ending: But he could not resist taking one last look down the road where the woman had disappeared. Then resolutely he turned away and continued on his solitary way.
    He did not look back again.

  10. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Oct 1, 1999
    Very Sweet. Wonderfully executed. :)
  11. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 29, 1999
    You never fail to stir my emotions as well as inspire me. [face_love]

    Incredibly lovely!
  12. Neo-Paladin

    Neo-Paladin Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 10, 2004
    Everything about this monolgue was Qui-Gon. I couldn't help but be moved along by the reflection. It was a beautiful glimpse into the master's mind, what regrets he carries and how he faces them. Thank you for writing this and thank you for sharing this.
  13. Valiowk

    Valiowk Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Apr 23, 2000
    Beautiful work, VaderLVR64! :) A stunning, magnificent description which did not fail to bring a tear to our eyes...
  14. Alethia

    Alethia Jedi Master star 5

    Feb 13, 2005
    Lovely! I like the way Qui contemplates on married life and everything, but then is anchored to his Jedi teachings. So like Qui...
  15. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    DarthIshtarThanks! I really wanted it to be believable, very much in character.

    sheleigh[face_blush] Thank you.

    Healer_Leona I must admit, I put a bit of myself into her. :D Not wishful thinking, no way!

    LadyPadme Thank you, I'm flattered you liked it.

    Jennifer_Lyn Yes, I wanted him to still be completely loyal to the Jedi, but fully aware of what he had given up. Thanks for reading, Padawan!

    Jemmiah Thank you so much!

    Jedi_Tigris That's our Qui! :)

    JediVeloJinn He'll never turn his back on the Order! Our favorite maverick Jedi! :cool:

    Lilith Demodae Thank you! Coming from an author of your talent, I'm doubly grateful.

    mouse2 Aw, shucks! [face_blush] (I guess my Southern roots will show, huh?)

    Neo-Paladin And thank YOU for reading!

    Valiowk Thank you so much.

    Alethia I [face_love] Qui-Gon! Can you tell? o_O
  16. lazykbys_left

    lazykbys_left Jedi Padawan star 4

    Feb 17, 2005
    *sigh* That was lovely. :)

    However, I must protest that telling people there are good stories elsewhere and failing to provide a link is criminal.

    [link=]The Qui-Gon Jinn Challenge Thread[/link]

    - lazy
  17. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    I stand corrected! And once again, you prove yourself completely unsuited to your user name! :D
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