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Roommate Wars (humor) Chapters 1-6

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi Amy-Wan Kenobi, Jun 4, 2000.

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  1. Jedi Amy-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Amy-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 5, 2000
    I've had a lot of free time on my hands lately. Perhaps too much. So I've been writing quite a bit and this is some of the insanity I've come up with. Please leave reviews, good or bad, I'd just like some feedback! If anybody likes it I'll post more chapters as I come up with 'em!

    Not responsible for any cr@ppy formatting as a direct result of the writing of this in MS Word.

    Rated PG.

    Roommate Wars
    Written by Amy-Wan Kenobi

    Chapter I~ Home Sweet Home

    ?BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEZzZzZzZztttrrrzzggghhh?? A red-and-black tattooed fist smashed the alarm clock to tiny pieces. Darth Maul growled at the sun shining brightly through his window and tried to get out of bed. He got tangled in his bed sheets and fell on his face on the floor. He growled at the floor for being there, and got up and stalked into the refresher unit. He put in his contacts and stomped into the kitchen, making sure to make as much noise as was possible when stomping into the kitchen to annoy the tenants in the apartment below his. He stopped in the middle of the chaotically disorganized living room and squinted at a piece of paper that had been slid under the door. He picked it up and squinted at it some more. After squinting at it some more in an unsuccessful attempt to get it un-blurred enough to be discernable, he gave up, telling himself he was too tired to be reading small pieces of paper anyway. Small piece of paper in hand, he continued his loud stomping into the kitchen.
    He arrived in the kitchen, threw the piece of paper on the table, and grabbed a box of stale Lucky Charms out of the cabinet, which seemed to be lacking a door. He looked in another cabinet for a bowl. There weren?t any clean ones, so he grabbed a dirty one out of the sink. He tried to remember the last time he had washed the dishes, but didn?t want to strain his memory like that. He poured the bowl full of cereal and grabbed some milk off the cluttered table that he had forgot to put away yesterday. Or was it last week? He couldn?t remember. The crabby Sith Lord sniffed the milk, cringed, and poured it on top of the cereal.
    Shoving heaping spoonfuls into his mouth, he picked up the note and started to read it. In large letters at the top, it read ?Eviction Notice.? Darth Maul spit his mouthful of cereal halfway across the kitchen. What?! How could they evict him?! They had no right! Actually, Maul could think of about 50 good reasons to kick him out, but, well? Oh, just face the facts, he thought. There was nothing he could do. Let the apartment hunt begin.


    ?Well, Mr. Kenobi, consider yourself? ermm? in possession of an apartment!? the building owner said as Obi-Wan Kenobi put his signature on a giant stack of lease forms that must have been at least six inches thick. The young Jedi sighed and looked at his wristwatch.
    ?Is that all the forms?? he asked impatiently.
    ?Yes, that?s it,? the building over replied. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. ?Here?s the keys to your apartment,? he said, handing them to Obi-Wan. ?Number 42A.? Obi-Wan got up and left the office.
    A couple of seconds later, a black-robed figure entered the office.
    ?I wish to apply for an apartment,? he said menacingly. The landlord pushed a six-inch stack of forms across the desk toward him.
    Forty-five minutes after that, Darth Maul angrily signed his name on the bottom of the last page. The now bored-looking owner pushed a set of keys over to him. The plastic tag on them read ?42A.?


    Obi-Wan Kenobi entered the back door of the Coruscant Towers apartment building, towing a travel suitcase behind him, and a box of stuff tucked under his arm. He walked over to the elevator. A sign was taped to the door reading ?Out of order.? Obi-Wan?s face dropped and he looked up. Flights of stairs spiraled up the building as far as the eye could see.
    Twenty-one sets of stairs later, Obi-Wan reached the apartment numbered 42A. A flock of kids of a
  2. Terana Lewani

    Terana Lewani Jedi Master

    Mar 11, 2000
    Man, this is a great story, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. I can only hope you write chapters 7-Infinity next.

    P.S>Do you by chance read the Sith Academy stories by Siubhan and company?
  3. jedi jaffacake

    jedi jaffacake Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 12, 2000
    This story is so cool!
    Darth Maul's reaction to the Pokemon snuffling around his ankles isn't dissimilar to what mine would be in the same situation!
    Can't wait for more
  4. Jedi Amy-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Amy-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 5, 2000
    Yeah, I'm a big fan of the Sith Academy! (They're so funny I even forgive them for being horrible to Obi-Wan! )

    I reread this and realize that this is all just a combination of too much sugar, too many hours spent reading Academy all night, and my obsession with HGTTG.

    Amada Mechi
    Spends too much time around the DMEB
  5. Darth Mouse

    Darth Mouse Jedi Youngling

    May 20, 2000
    I think this is the funniest story I have ever read.
  6. Jedi Amy-Wan Kenobi

    Jedi Amy-Wan Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 5, 2000
    And then I look at my signature here and realize I just gave away the fact that I cast my own character in my story. I'm pitiful!

    Amada Mechi
    How pathetic is that?
  7. Jean

    Jean Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 7, 2003
    Upping for the move
  8. Jauhzmynn

    Jauhzmynn Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 16, 2002
    THis is a scream.:) GOtta post more.:-D
  9. hansolorox

    hansolorox Jedi Youngling

    Dec 30, 2004
    wicked job! This is a scream!
  10. debeautimous

    debeautimous Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 2, 2003
  11. Wyn_Fel

    Wyn_Fel Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 2, 2004
    Love it so far, although the "Deal with its" at the end did get a little tiring lol. Darth Maul and Obi-Wan sharing a room? Hilarious! Keep it up!

  12. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Mar 10, 2005
    Oooh, hurry up, I want more! This is awesome!
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