Before - Legends 'Round the Twist--Ridiculously Specific #8, AU, Qui/Shmi, Obi, baby Ani, OCs COMPLETED 12/27

'Round The Twist
By: BrightFeather

Disclaimer: If you think canon characters belong to me, you're sadly mistaken. I borrowed them, hugged them, squeezed them, called them George, then gave them back like a good girl. All things Star Wars belong to George Lucas.

Author's Note: This is an answer to the Ridiculously Specific Challenge #8, and the blame lies with Fluff-Slayer. She just had to dare me to do it. And more blame lies with my Master, Layren, because she majorly upped the ante. All dental bills for cavities, etc, can go to them, because they made me do it! This is an AU. Kyran and Han?yaie are Layren's and are appearing by dare. This may eventually have a PM epilogue, because it's the only condition of the upped ante I didn't meet, but I'm not in the right frame of mind to do it. Challenge conditions to follow.

~*~*~*~

-Must be Qui-Gon mush.
-Must involve--Oh, don't hit me--Obi-Wan.
-Must end when the sky is dark.
-Must be a "stationary" fic--takes place primarily in one setting.
-Must begin with a character learning to do something new.
-Must begin BEFORE the climax has happened.
-Must have some element of angst.
-Must include a very detailed description of an ordinary something.
-Must have at least one "twist".
-Must include the words: adumbration, epiphany, alliteration, and silver.
-Must mention an animal making racket.
-Must involve the input of a terrified OC that cannot speak Basic fluently. Unfortunately, s/he has something plot-relevant to say.
-Must have mention of a character's maths homework.
-Must have a flashback scene.
Bonus points if the flashback seems at first irrelevant but is not.
-Must have a scene that takes place in the Temple.
Bonus points if that scene takes place during a meal.
Double bonus points if someone burns something.
Triple bonus points if that person burns his/her hand in the attempt.

General bonus
-Include candy somehow.
-Have someone become stranded on the roof.


Master's upped ante
Must involve Qui/Shmi romance
Must have her Kyran in it
Han?yaie must somehow become involved
Must be some element of Qui-Gon hurt/comfort
A version of Layren must get to brush Qui's hair
Quadruple bonus points for a PM epilogue

~*~*~*~

 

Obi-Wan jumped over the blow and landed lightly, parrying his Master's lightsabre. With a flick of his wrist, he caught the blade in a bind and yanked it from Qui-Gon's hand. "Very good, padawan," Qui-Gon murmured as he ducked the follow-up blow.

Obi-Wan smiled. It was rare that he could manage to disarm his master. Sometimes, he thought that his Master let him do it to teach him a lesson. As Qui-Gon aimed a blow at his saber-arm, he knew that this was one of those times.

"You're forgetting one thing, young one--" With that utterance, Qui-Gon disarmed his apprentice, called the lightsabre to his hand, and held it in the 'kill' position. "Your enemy's weapon is your weapon if you can take it."

"I yield," he panted. "Master, I don't think you ever told me that before."

Qui-Gon extinguished the lightsabre and clapped him on the shoulder. "Then it's time you learned it," he said. "Remember, my young padawan-learner, if you ever end up in a fight with a dark Jedi, there are only two real rules."

Obi-Wan bit his lip; he'd never heard that before, either. "What are they, Master?"

"Never let the dark side take hold, and stay alive," was the soft answer. Qui-Gon clapped him on the shoulder. "Come, let's get cleaned up; you have spatial mathematics homework to do before we leave for the mission tomorrow, and it's Shmi's turn to cook."

Obi-Wan grinned at the thought of his Master's wife. It had come as something of a surprise to him when Qui-Gon had announced that he was headed to Tatooine to free her, and then come back married to a very pregnant Shmi two and a half years back. Sometimes, his Master hid his emotions pretty well. "We can't keep her waiting, can we Master?" he asked.

"Not if you want muja fruit pie for dessert," was the answer as they hurried to the showers.

Obi-Wan licked his lips in anticipation. He loved muja fruit pie, and Shmi's was the best he'd ever had. He took a three minute shower and changed into clean clothes in record time.

Qui-Gon soon joined him and he followed his master upstairs to the apartment he shared with the Jinns. There weren't many Jedi who had married; his master was the exception rather than the rule, but as time passed, more and more were opting for a family lifestyle. Obi-Wan, like many Jedi, had never known his biological mother, but when Qui-Gon had brought Shmi back to the Temple, she had fulfilled that role in his life.

"Shmi?" Qui-Gon called as they entered the apartment.

Shmi came out of the last bedroom, wiping her hands on her apron. Light glinted off her silver wedding band as she favored her husband with a smile. "Ani was asking where you were," she said softly.

Obi-Wan winced as he heard the sounds of toys crashing together. While he was glad that his Master had found happiness, sometimes he wished that she hadn't come to them with a baby brother for him.

Just as he finished the thought, a small blond head peeked around the corner. Bright blue eyes regarded him for half a second before the two-year-old pounced. "Obi!" he called, holding out his tiny arms for a hug as he ran towards them. "Obiobiobiobiobi!"

"Hi, squirt," he said, resigned to being grabbed by the toddler. He picked Anakin up and settled him in his arms. "Are you hungry?"

Anakin nodded. "Uh huh. Obi an' Daddy go bye-bye?"

"Tomorrow, Ani," Qui-Gon said.

Anakin held out his arms towards Qui-Gon and fell forward. Qui-Gon caught him, and Anakin threw his arms around the man's neck. "Daddy an' Obi no go," he demanded. "Sday wiv Momma an' Ani."

"We have to go, little one," Qui-Gon said as he started toward the kitchen. "Let's see what your Mom made for last meal."

Anakin stuck his lower lip out in a pout and laid his head on Qui-Gon's shoulder. "Daddy an' Obi sday," he said. "Daddy no get owie."

Obi-Wan shot a questioning look at Shmi before following Qui-Gon. "Owie?"

Shmi sighed. "I picked him up early today from the Crèche, so I could get him used to the idea that the two of you will be gone for

 

Wow. That's... a lot. Wow.

"Yuck," Obi-Wan said. "Little brother, say it with me now--'ewwwww,'"

"Ewwww," Anakin giggled.

Awwwww! Cute!

Good start! Very good start!

 

Have I mentioned again how much I adore this




I really look forward to the rest!

And I happily take all the blame

 

That's a long list of conditions! You've done a great job with them -

"Ever since his nap," Shmi continued, "he's been saying that Qui-Gon's going to get a 'big owie.' I don't know what to think," she admitted.

Although can I say, 'I have a bad feeling about this.'

I loved the lil Ani and Obi interaction and Obi's thoughts - nicely done.

 

This is adorable!
I love lil ani! And Obi's interaction with him is very cute. And why do I have a bad feeling about this 'owie', hmmm?
Can't wait to see where this goes!! Can you PM me when you update this?

 

Congratulations again, Feathery One. It's very well-written--I must admit that, no matter how much the situation urks me.

Shmi...

I just can't see it. But apparently you can.

Good luck on the next bit. I'll be back then.

 

Awwwww...I love baby Ani! He's so sweet.

Wouldn't it be something if Qui-Gon does get "a big owie" on his mission...

I look forward to more!

 

Good writing BrightFeather. Way to go on the challenges so far, already some mush. And I'm with Obi; Ewwww!

Looking forward to more.

 

Qui-Gon broke off the kiss and smiled at Shmi. "Now if you want another child, my heart, we'll have to work on that after I get home."

"Yuck," Obi-Wan said. "Little brother, say it with me now--'ewwwww,'"

"Ewwww," Anakin giggled.

"EWWWWWW!" oqidaun chimed in, but congratulated Brightfeather, nonetheless, for her excellent beginning to a challenge far too daunting for oqidaun the obnoxious to complete. After typing her reply in a strange never used before third person interactive perspective, the intrepid reviewer trudged off to make a preemptive appointment with her dentist.

 

Thank you, Daena and Layren! And you'd better take the blame, my Master, 'cause it's all your fault! Well, and Fluffy's.

Kestrel said:

Although can I say, 'I have a bad feeling about this.'
Probably a good idea.
I loved the lil Ani and Obi interaction and Obi's thoughts - nicely done.

Thanks! I don't often try teenagers...

Stella said:
This is adorable!
I love lil ani! And Obi's interaction with him is very cute. And why do I have a bad feeling about this 'owie', hmmm?
Can't wait to see where this goes!! Can you PM me when you update this?

Hm... Could id be you've read enough of my stuff that you know better than to actually trust that DarkFeather isn't involved? And I sure will!

Fluff,
Perhaps this next part will be less hurl-a-licious for you.

Kelia said:
Awwwww...I love baby Ani! He's so sweet.
They're usually sweet at that age... unless they're screaming. Or have a yucky diaper.
Wouldn't it be something if Qui-Gon does get "a big owie" on his mission...
Well, we all know how often that Ani's visions come true...
I look forward to more!
More will be up soon!

Brentus,
And I'm with Obi; Ewwww!
LOL! At sixteen, which is Obi's age in this one, my brother informed my parents that watching them kiss was 'gross.' So I figured that Obi-Wan might feel the same way.

Oqidaun said:
"EWWWWWW!" oqidaun chimed in, but congratulated Brightfeather, nonetheless, for her excellent beginning to a challenge far too daunting for oqidaun the obnoxious to complete. After typing her reply in a strange never used before third person interactive perspective, the intrepid reviewer trudged off to make a preemptive appointment with her dentist.
At least you were warned, Oqi! And it is a mush challenge.

Thanks for reading, y'all. Part two coming right up.

BrightFeather

---

[b]Yesterday, on 'Round The Twist:[/b]

[i]Shmi gave Qui-Gon a look that meant they'd discuss a new baby later before joining Anakin and Obi-Wan at the table. Qui-Gon followed, holding her chair out for her before he took his own chair. Serving dishes were soon passed around as they settled down to the last family meal they'd have until after he and his master returned home.

~*~*~*~
[/i]

Qui-Gon exited the ship, not checking to see if his padawan was following him. In fact, he knew exactly where Obi-Wan was--two steps behind him and to his left as protocol demanded. His apprentice was nothing if not well-behaved; at least, he was when they were on missions. In truth, Obi-Wan was an irreverent prankster when at home--and he showed every inclination of teaching Anakin to be like him in that respect.

On missions, however, he always conducted himself the way a Jedi should. By the time Anakin was ready to be apprenticed, Qui-Gon knew that Obi-Wan would be ready to be Knighted. He bowed to the head of the welcoming committee.

"Representative Garif," he said smoothly. "I am Master Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is my apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Council sent us to mediate peace between your government and the Rebels."

Garif looked him up and down, and Qui-Gon got the feeling that he was being measured for? something. "We of Ja'kai have been at war for too long," he said, giving Qui-Gon another strange look. "We welcome the peace that your coming will bring."

Garif's Basic was oddly-accented; Jedi had not been asked to come to Ja'kai since before the civil war broke out over a century before. Ja'kaians tended to be rather insular, anyway. It was rare that they left their planet, and even rarer that a child Sensitive enough to join the Order was given over to the Jedi. Qui-Gon knew of only one Jedi who had originally come from the planet, and his parents, though Ja'kaian, were offworlders.

"We are here to serve," Qui-Gon answered softly. "Peace is always

 

Way to get the story moving! brilliant job!
I liked that you had Qui acknowledging Obi as a 'irreverant prankster' at home and that the perfect jedi is only a front- nice touch- makes obi much more human!
Cute of Anakin to slip in the protective teddy Interesting that Qui Gon would carry it for luck- I wouldn't have thought he believed in that!
Oh and geez! He's still thinking of his future children *Stella hunts up lil ani and sets up chorus ewwww!*

Uh oh Qui-Gon, listen to Obi's bad feelings!! He's much more in tune with Dark Feather's evil plot twists Great post! and thanks for the pm!

 

Wonderful BrightFeather! Although I hope you're not about to poison my 2 favorite Jedi men?

I look forward to more!

 

<<"When was the last time you didn't have a bad feeling about a mission, my young padawan-learner?" >>

When indeed?

That was a nice one-liner. Very... Oh, I don't know.

Thanks for updating so quickly. (Epiphany! You used it!)

Fluffy

 

My good twin and I decided to be really nice and give y'all an early Christmas present. We're not posting anything else until Monday at the earliest.

Stella said:
Way to get the story moving! brilliant job!
I liked that you had Qui acknowledging Obi as a 'irreverant prankster' at home and that the perfect jedi is only a front- nice touch- makes obi much more human!
Thank you! He looks like he was a mischevious child to me.

Cute of Anakin to slip in the protective teddy Interesting that Qui Gon would carry it for luck- I wouldn't have thought he believed in that!
He's trying to justify why he's keeping it with him. In truth, it's not for luck--it's so if they have to engage in aggresive negotiations, it won't get left behind.

Oh and geez! He's still thinking of his future children *Stella hunts up lil ani and sets up chorus ewwww!*
LOL!

Uh oh Qui-Gon, listen to Obi's bad feelings!! He's much more in tune with Dark Feather's evil plot twists
Moi? Evil? Methinks you have me confuzzles with someone else. *innocent*

Kestrel said:
Although I hope you're not about to poison my 2 favorite Jedi men?
Poison? Now why would I do something like that?

Fluff-Slayer:
Why thank you! He does seem to think something's wrong an awful lot, doesn't he? And here's another update as a Christmas present just for you. Yep! Let's review, so far we've used silver, epiphany, and the adjective form of adumbration, which is adumbrative. Only word we're missing so far is alliteration.

Thanks for reading, y'all!

---

[b]Last time, on 'Round The Twist:[/b]

[i]They exchanged pleasantries with the other guests before heading back to their quarters. Obi-Wan barely had time to shower and dress in loose sleep clothes before waves of sleepiness overwhelmed him. [b]//Master?//[/b][/i] [i]he sent, then collapsed on his bed when his query was met only with emptiness. Darkness flew up to greet him, and he knew no more.[/i]

~*~*~*~

Renna La'thyrn waited until the Servants opened the doors and held them open for her and the rest of her Handmaidens to enter. They strode into the room and split up; the lesser Handmaidens went with two of the Servants to fetch the apprentice, while she and the greater Handmaidens took four Servants to get the Master.

Qui-Gon Jinn was to be their Sacrifice so that the war would finally be won. The warrior class would partake of his essence after the gods had drunk his blood. It would infuse them with his strength and powers, so that they might overcome their enemies. The apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, would eventually join them as a Eunuched Servant. Yes, it would take some? convincing, but they were adept at such things.

Kenobi would join them as a willing participant to serve the Handmaidens, and enrich them with his good looks. He would eventually rejoice at his own Ceremony to become as the other servants--sexless devotees of the gods of Ja'kai.

It was necessary that he be sexless; the gods demanded that the Handmaidens remain pure for them. It was unheard of to have an unaltered man serve among them. Such might lead to temptation, and they had to be above it. A slow smile curved her lips. Qui-Gon Jinn was a handsome man, and it was her responsibility to make sure that he was prepared for his own Ceremony.

Renna gestured to the Servants, who removed the Jedi Master from the bed. Her assistant, Rieka, picked up the man's robe to adorn his apprentice with, and they headed to the preparation chamber. The Master and the Apprentice were placed on the preparation tables, and their Jedi clothing was removed. Together, she and her Handmaidens bathed them, then anointed them with special oils in the seven sacred places.

The Servants then wrapped the Jedi in soft, white linen garments that covered them from waist to knee, and placed them upright in gilt chairs. The garments were meant to

 

...

You did what?

Poor Obi and Qui.

Good (not to mention evil) post!

 

Creepy! *shivers* Well done on creating a truly twisted society!
Great post!
Have a very Happy Holiday!

 

Wow, finally got around to reading this and you've already had 3 posts! Thanks for the pm, please continue pm'ing me if it isn't too much trouble.

First: Love the little lessons Qui was giving Obi as they sparred. It is so wonderful that they have a family, and it is allowed. Little Anakin is so cute. But it looks like his prophetic dreams are already starting. I agree with Ani and Obi... ewwwww!

2nd post: Uh oh, Obi is getting those feelings again. Love those lines reflecting Ep I. Such a sweet thought for Qui to keep Ani's stuffed wookie with him. Poor Obi getting his concerns dismissed by Qui. Now look what happened!

Post 3: What are they doing?? Oh no, Qui and Obi will figure out what's happening real quick, won't they, and get out of there?

Great job, but what an evil cliffhanger!

 

It seems too good to be true. Qui and Obi all but finished and soon to be dead and brainwashed, respectively? Oh well, I'll enjoy the torture while it lasts, methinks it shant last much longer.

Very good story, BrightFeather.

 

The Master and the Apprentice were placed on the preparation tables, and their Jedi clothing was removed. Together, she and her Handmaidens bathed them, then anointed them with special oils in the seven sacred places.



I have to say, evil though it is...I'm quite enjoying it!

And I'm looking forward to the next instalment!

 

See, now, this is what should've been done differently about the Clone Wars. All they needed was a sacrifice or two, and things would've been all peachy.

Interesting.

Very interesting.

Though I'm minutely disturbed by all the...anointing?

 

Very interesting story. Great job meeting your challenges!

 

Qui-Gon to be sacrificed!!



And Obi-Wan to become sexless



I hope if they get out of this mess, Qui will be more receptive to Obi's "bad feelings"!!

Great updates!!

 

Daena said:
You did what?

Moi? Did something? Non, ne moi pas. Blame her. *points to evil Sithy twin*

Stella said:
Creepy! *shivers* Well done on creating a truly twisted society!

Thank you!

Jedi_Tigris said:
Wow, finally got around to reading this and you've already had 3 posts! Thanks for the pm, please continue pm'ing me if it isn't too much trouble.
NP. Sorry I forgot. I'm not used to the whole PM thing yet. I'm glad you've been enjoying it! And thank you; I knew when I wrote it that it was probably a good place to leave off for a bit.

Brentus:
Well, evilness is DarkFeather's speciality! Hm. I wonder how I could do away with Palpy. Accidently, of course...

Kestrel said:
I have to say, evil though it is...I'm quite enjoying it! And I'm looking forward to the next instalment!
Thank you! And the next part is coming right up!

Fluffy said:
See, now, this is what should've been done differently about the Clone Wars. All they needed was a sacrifice or two, and things would've been all peachy.
Would it have been? Okay, okay, we sacrifice Palpy and Dooku to the great volcano god on Mustafar, and stuff gets fixed...

princess_of_naboo said:
Very interesting story. Great job meeting your challenges!
Thank you!

Kelia said:
I hope if they get out of this mess, Qui will be more receptive to Obi's "bad feelings"!!

Problem is, Obi has the on almost every mission. It's hard to take them completely seriously when more often than not, it's a case of the boy who cried wolf...

Glad y'all are enjoying this.

---

Last time, on [b]'Round The Twist[/b]:

[i]Renna clapped her hands together three times as the Lesser Handmaidens finished their preparations by wrapping the robe of the Sacrifice around the apprentice. The Servants picked up their charges and took them to the Waiting Area near the altar. Later that day, when everyone had gathered, the Master would meet his end with the sacred knife. His life would end, but his life force would feed the warriors after he had bled out and his mortal husk had been portioned out. Soon the war would be over.[/i]

~*~*~*~

Qui-Gon opened his eyes and used the Force to banish the fuzziness from his brain. Drugged. They'd been drugged. Again. Briefly, he wondered why it was that he and Obi-Wan always ended up pulling them missions that got one or both of them drugged and kidnapped. The first thing he noticed was how chilly the room was. Looking down at his barely-there attire, he decided it had more to do with what he wasn't wearing than the actual temperature of the room.

They'd left him unbound. A smile stole over Qui-Gon's face as he got up and headed for the door to his prison. He tested it briefly with his mind, making sure that there were no energy fields in place to hinder his escape. The Ja'kai obviously didn't know how to restrain a Jedi, he mused. The lock on the cage was a simple mechanical one, and they'd neglected to use any sort of Force-suppressant on him.

Qui-Gon half-shut his eyes and carefully examined the lock. It was a matter of moments before, using the Force, he had encouraged the tumblers into the correct position and popped the door open. He strode out of the cell and searched for his apprentice through their bond. It only took half a second to get the direction, and a half-dozen strides to come within sight.

He grimaced as he realized that his apprentice was still unconscious. He shrugged slightly; it meant that he'd have to carry the boy until he woke up. He repeated the procedure and opened the door of Obi-Wan's cell, then picked him up and slung him over his shoulder.

Using the Force, he looked around until he found the way out of where they'd been kept, then headed towards the exit, going as fast and as silently as he could. "Mph," Obi-Wan said. "Master?"

 

Drugged. They'd been drugged. Again.

Wait... they happen to get drugged a lot?

They'd left him unbound.

Silly kidnappers. Leaving a jedi unbound is like asking for disaster. Shame on them.

Loved the use of alliteration.

"In case you haven't noticed, half the Masters in the Temple are afraid of her when somebody she loves is hurt; she's a fearsome woman when riled."

Darned right.


Good post!