Beyond - Legends Shintaree Days - [YJK humor short story]

Title: Shintaree Days
Author(s): blue_bantha
Timeframe: YJK
Characters: Jacen, Jaina, Lowie, Tenel Ka, Raynar, Kyp, Luke, Han, Chewie, Tionne
Genre: humor, ensemble
Keywords: shintaree, YJK,
Summary: It's practical joke time at the Jedi Academy...
Notes: Pretty much a series of practical jokes, Star Wars style. Zekk not included. Nothing personal, I just hadn't read that far at the time I wrote this. Nor do I hate Kyp. He just happened to fit the role I needed in the story. Written in April 2000 & posted on fanfiction.net. I was going to post it here in honor of April Fool's Day, but I sheer forgot. Thought people would appreciate a bit of fun amongst all the drama and tensions these days .

Disclaimer: We all know that Star Wars belongs entirely to George Lucas & Co. As always, I only borrow the characters for my own amusement. (This story more than usual. )



Shintaree Days

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. ? Edward De Bono

Chapter 1

"You?ve got to be kidding!" Jaina regarded her brother, eyes wide. "That sounds too good to be true."

Jacen shook his head. "Not according to the Holocron. Shintaree Days was a celebrated every year by the Jedi. Apparently, it was a celebration of life renewed. And it starts tomorrow."

"Are you telling me that the Jedi knights have celebrated what is in essence an opportunity to play practical jokes on everyone for three whole days?" Jacen nodded.

"For a thousand years, up till Vader killed most of them. Hasn?t been celebrated since, or at least I?ve never heard of it until this morning."

"When you think about it, if you were Uncle Luke, would you want to bring that little tradition up?"

"I guess not."

"You know, Uncle Luke makes such a big deal ?bout preserving traditions and all that, it would be a shame to let this one die out, don?t you think?"

" I guess so. Are you saying what I think you?re saying?"

"Yep."

"This?ll be fun. See you tomorrow?"

"Count on it."

* * * * *

"You?re not serious? This has to be some sort of joke, right? Luke?"

Luke Skywalker grinned at his astonished student. Kyp Durron wasn?t surprised easily, and the look of shock on his face was a rare, memorable event, something to savor.

"I am perfectly serious. The council has recently become concerned about the economic state of the smaller, less developed members of the Republic. The time will come soon to act on the matter, and they?ve asked me to give them a firsthand account of the problems these worlds face. It?s a perfectly reasonable request, and one that I can?t, in good conscience, refuse." Kyp stopped pacing back and forth long enough to give a disbelieving snort.

"Good conscience, my?" He muttered. At a warning look from Luke, he continued, "?word. You and I both know what this is really about."

"And here I thought you?d jump at the chance to take over for me here." Luke?s voice was deceptively mild. "I have complete trust in your abilities and judgement. And after all, I?ll only be gone for a few days." Kyp strode up to him and planted a finger squarely in the middle of his chest.

"Do you think I?m dense? You know as well as I do that Shintaree days begin tomorrow."

"Relax, Kyp. This batch of students knows nothing about this particular holiday. The next week is simply an ordinary week for them. The only other person here who knows about Shintaree is Tionne, and she has sworn not to tell a soul." Luke watched Kyp pace some more.

"I will not relax. You know as well as I do that they always find out about it somehow. Do you remember when we found out? It was a week of absolute chaos. I am not going to be anywhere near here this week. Don?t you dare drop this on my shoulders while you go off sightseeing. No, I won?t do it. Leave Tionne in charge. She?s a much better teacher that me, anyways." Kyp pleaded with Luke, desperate. Luke shook his head.

"No, a batch of old Jedi holorecords recently

 

Chapter 2

The next day dawned bright and early for Jacen, who was not a morning person. Sitting up, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and staggered over to the refresher and into the shower. The cold water did little in the way of waking him up. Feeling somewhat human, he dressed and left his room, heading to the communal dining area to get some breakfast. As he entered the room, the students close by turned and stared, some making small coughing noises. Still only semi-conscious, Jacen shook his head and got a tray of food. By the time he arrived at the table and sat down next to Tenel-Ka, every person in the room was staring at him and snickering. Embarrassed, he turned to Tenel-Ka and shrugged. "What? Did I forget to comb my hair or something?" he asked, running a hand through his still-wet hair. He stopped in shock and stared at his hand. It was pink. "What?" he sputtered, waking up entirely. His mouth opened and closed several times, and all that came out was "Pink?!!"

"Actually, it?s more of a fuscia, I think." Tenel-Ka was, as always, astute. Jacen turned to her, close to panic.

"Please tell me it?s only my hands." At the shake of her head, he hesitantly touched his damp face and moaned. "But how?" Narrowing his eyes, he looked around for his sister, who was normally there before him. Today, though, she was conspicuously absent. "The shower? She must have put the dye in the showerhead," he muttered, "What else could I expect from a mechanical genius? But to her own flesh and blood? Just wait? I?ll show her?" Breakfast forgotten, he rose and exited the room, still muttering to himself, oblivious to the titters and barely restrained laughter of the students.

Tenel-Ka turned to Lowie and shrugged. "Score: Jaina one, Jacen zero. This should prove to be a very interesting week, indeed."

In a corner of the room, hidden by stacks of unused tables and chairs, Jaina Solo smiled. This had proved to be most entertaining. She could hardly wait for her next plan to fall into place. "Better be careful, though," she thought. The look on Jacen?s face as well as the anger she felt from him promised retribution.

* * * * *

Later that morning, the four friends had gathered around Lowie?s speeder, talking and laughing. Jaina, as usual, could not keep her hands to herself and was tinkering with the craft, tightening this and that bolt and making miniscule adjustments to the systems.

"You say it?s been veering off and accelerating in jumps instead of smoothly?" she asked the lanky Wookie. Lowie nodded in agreement. "Sounds like there?s something lodged in the outtake valve." She leaned in for a closer inspection. "Start it up, Lowie," she called. Her friend complied.

With a loud glop, a huge mass of mud came out of the valve opening, straight towards Jaina, who was peering into the valve. With a startled "Oomph," she fell backward, covered with the slimy, pungent mud. Globs of it had attached to her arms, and her face and upper torso were one gigantic mudball. Gingerly wiping her face with her equally dirty arms, she stood and took in the spectacle before her. Tenel-Ka was, as usual, unaffected, but Jacen was rolling on the ground with laughter, and Lowie was whuffing where he stood. Gasping for breath, Jacen grinned at her.

"You should have seen the look on your face when the mud came out of the valve?" he dissolved into laughter again. Jaina glared at him for a moment, then stomped off to clean up before Tionne?s afternoon lecture. The others watched her go. Tene-Ka regarded Jacen a moment before turning to Lowie.

"You realize that your assisting Jacen makes you fair game for revenge, do you not?" Lowie nodded, his amusement somewhat tempered by the possible consequences of his actions. "Thus far, the score is even. I predict that will not last long, though."

* * * * *

That afternoon, the students gathered by the river. Jacen was the last to arrive; he snuck in and stayed in the back, hoping no one would notice him. Just as he spotted Lowie and Tenel-Ka sitting in the front, Jai

 

Chapter 3

Jaina peered around the door of the dining hall. As far as she could tell, almost everyone was there already, seated at tables and eating contentedly. Her gaze settled on Jacen as he sat with Tenel Ka and Lowie, laughing and chewing. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself and, grabbing a tray, joined her friends. Sitting down, she studied her brother carefully. He seemed normal enough. She couldn?t tell whether he was up to something or simply Jacen. Oh well, she thought. Might as well take my chances. To her surprise, she was suddenly hungry.

When she was halfway finished and nothing had happened, she relaxed confidant that if Jacen had planned something, it would have happened already. Thirsty, she filled her glass from the pitcher that had been placed at their table. As she drank the cool, refreshing fruit juice, Tionne stood up from the table she was sharing with Kyp Durron and the other instructors. In deference to her, the students quieted and waited for her announcement. Her curiosity piqued, Jaina listened carefully.

"As most of you know, the recent ionic storms in the upper atmosphere have been wreaking havoc with some of the power systems around here. They were minor glitches, but the shield generator station has been experiencing several problems. I feel that it is in your best interest to inform you of what we can expect from now until the storms subside. My knowledge of such devices being minimal, I will now ask one of your fellow students to speak briefly on what is widely considered her area of expertise. Jaina Solo, if you would be so kind?"

At Tionne?s gesture, Jaina stood, nervously shifting from foot to foot. She had been totally unprepared for such a request, and her head was spinning. As she cleared her throat before the patient students, a tingling sensation spread from the back of her throat to her mouth and tongue. Licking her suddenly numb lips, she began to speak. To her horror, all that came out was "aruugh ahh." She stood dumbfounded and drooling. Across the room, Tionne frowned.

"Speak up, please Jaina."

"Bla blouhh." Spinning around, Jaina confronted her brother, who was laughing hysterically. "Wha ha youu duh t?bla blouhh?" She realized she was drooling uncontrollably. Shaking her fist at Jacen, she turned and stalked out of the room, leaving in her wake a very amused audience. Tionne was the first to regain her composure.

"I believe that that presentation can wait until tomorrow. Please, continue eating." With that, she sat down and picked up her fork. Across the table from her, Kyp was staring at Jacen Solo, who had just fallen out of his chair and was rolling around on the ground, gasping for air. Closing his eyes, he wondered if that muscle spasm around his eye had could be considered a nervous twitch.

Sitting next to Jacen, Tenel Ka smiled. Reaching up to help her still-chuckling friend back to his seat, she shook her head.

"What did you do to her, my friend?" she asked. Jacen grinned.

"When I was looking for my crystal snake, I accidentally brushed against a purple bush. The place on my hand where I had touched the leaves went totally numb for a couple of hours. I dried a few of the leaves, crushed them, and put a little of the powder in her cup." Noticing the concern on her face, he shrugged. "She?ll be fine in the morning." Having finished his meal, he cleaned his place and left the room, still laughing. Lowie growled something at the warrior girl. She nodded.

"You are right, my friend. They seem to be more than a match for each other. I only hope they have sense enough to stay within reasonable limits, or someone will get hurt."

* * * * *

The rest of the night was uneventful. Jacen woke the next morning with a start. Carefully, he sat up and took notice of his surroundings. Nothing seemed amiss with his room. After carefully inspecting the faucets and shower, he cleaned bathed, dressed, and left for breakfast.

When he got to the dining hall, his sister and friends were already pres

 

Chapter 4

Jacen was feeding his assorted fauna that night when there was a knock on his door. He made sure he had closed the cages securely before answering it. The door swung open to reveal Jaina. He backed away warily.

"What do you want now?" He glanced around his room, checking every item for signs of tampering. Jaina sighed, then crossed the room and sat down on the bed, waiting patiently.

"Relax, I'm not here to play any tricks on you."

He crossed him arms. "Right. Forgive me if I have trouble believing you." He tapped his head. "Let me think. I think it had something to do with disintegrating clothing."

"Oh, please. Don't you think you're overreacting? I mean, it's not like anything bad happened." All she received was a glare. "Besides, it was no worse than the necta-birds." As she hoped, he smiled.

"So what do you want?"

"It just occurred to me that we're wasting valuable time pulling pranks on each other when we could be working together."

"What?"

"Well, between your animal magnetism-" he groaned at the joke "- and my mechanical skills, we would be unstoppable." She grinned up at him. "So what do you say?"

"No more infighting? You and me teaming up?" Jacen asked excitedly. She nodded. He sat down beside her and slung his arm across her shoulder. "The world doesn't stand a chance. Where do we begin?"

"Have you noticed that all the doors to the rooms open into the rooms?" He scratched his head.

"Yeah, so?"

"And I found an entire reel of fibercord in the junk pile...."

* * *

Breakfast that morning was...interesting to say the least. The twins had spent the early morning hours watching the other students try to leave their rooms. They had waited the night before until everyone was asleep, then had cut several lengths of fibercord and tied the doorknob of one door with another directly across the hallway form it. When the morning bell rang, it was pure chaos as the hapless students tried to open their doors only to meet with resistance. Some had given up, and the ones with windows had scrambled out that way, but others were not so lucky. For about an hour, chaos had reigned.

Now, as they ate their meals, Jacen and Jaina could feel the glares directed at them. Jaina leaned over to whisper to her brother.

"We'd better be careful. I think a few of them are angry enough to take revenge." He nodded in agreement.

From his place with the other adults at the head table, Kyp watched the Solo children whispering and inwardly cringed. At least when they were playing tricks on each other it kept busy. But now, if they had teamed up as he suspected... He sighed and massaged his temples, feeling the beginnings of a grand headache.

The twins were still whispering when Tenel Ka and Lowie approached them. After an exchange of good mornings all around, the two sat and wasted no time.

"Lowie and I offer our services and cooperation in your endeavors." Jacen blinked in confusion. Tenel Ka smiled. "In other words, we want in." He grinned. Jaina suppressed a whoop of delight and settled for a quiet squeal. Grinning diabolically, she gestured for the others to gather around her and rubbed her hands together

"Lowie, I know the perfect thing. We're going to need everyone's help, though." In a hushed voice, she quickly outlined her plan...

* * *

Tionne was on her way to her room when shouts of surprise exploded from the classroom she was passing. She looked around the deserted hallway warily. With all the students in class, she could see nothing out of the ordinary. Curious, she poked her head through the doorway.

Inside, Kyp was frozen at the front of the room, his lecture interrupted. She followed his horrified gaze and saw, to her utter disbelief, the huge form of Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith. He strode between desks glowering at the terrified students fiercely.

"Darth Vader," Tionne breathed, although no introduction was necessary. "What is he doing here?" Her hand strayed to the mother-of-pearl lightsaber hanging at her side. Kyp shoo

 

Chapter 5

When Jaina and Lowie appeared at lunch, they looked properly chastened.

"How'd it go," Jacen asked cheerfully. His sister groaned and patted Lowie's shoulder consolingly.

"Well, after we got through resetting all the holoprojectors, with Master Durron standing over us impatiently, Tionne suggested that in order to prevent such glitches in the future, it would be a good idea if we performed regular maintenance on them." Lowie groaned. "So now, we have to spend three hours once a week checking every single projector." Jacen patted her consolingly.

"But it was worth it, right?" She glared at him.

"Says the person who won't have to perform the maintenance." He smiled ruefully. Jaina changed the subject. "Has it started yet?" He shook his head.

"They haven't started serving yet. Oops, here they come now." Several droids ambled out of the kitchen area, carrying in their hands trays of food. Jacen nudged Lowie. "Are you sure that program will work?" he whispered. The lanky wookie growled in reassurance and pointed to the head table, which was served first.

Kyp was deep in conversation with Tionne as the droids approached. All of a sudden, all of the droids began to whoop and screech in tandem. The noise was, to say the least, deafening. Kyp was grateful that he was not the only one to jump out of his chair in surprise. Most of the other adults did, too. They stared in confusion until, after a minute or so, the droids quieted and went on serving food as if nothing had happened. Shrugging, they sat down and began conversing quietly. After about thirty seconds, the commotion started all over again. It grew as the droids spread out and began serving the students. Not more than a minute would pass before the screeching and whooping would commence. Though the surprise wore off, the noise was still very distracting.

Watching all of the chaos, Jacen leaned over to his sister and whispered, "Exactly what did Lowie program into them?" Jaina and Lowie shared a diabolical smile before she answered back.

"Actually, all he did was alter their audio sensors to send the droids into alarm mode whenever they heard certain words."

"What words?" Tenel Ka was curious.

"Oh, just a few, like Force and Jedi."

The warrior girl nodded. "Indeed. Words that would be impossible to avoid saying at the J-" Jaina shook her head in warning, "-Academy."

"Yep, so until they figure out exactly what not to say, it'll be a little noisy around here." Jacen tapped her shoulder.

"Um, won't he just make you and Lowie fix the problem?" Jaina laughed.

"That's the beauty of being a master with electronics, like Lowie is. The program will erase itself in about a day, but there's nothing anyone can do before then, short of giving every droid a complete memory wipe."

"Which, considering the Academy possesses none of the facilities for, is impossible," Tenel Ka noted. Seeing the others were finished eating, she stood. "I suggest we leave now, before certain headmasters have time to wonder who the responsible party is, or in this case, are." Seeing the logic to her argument, the four quickly exited the dining hall.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent putting the case of mini, high-res, extremely portable holoprojectors in Jaina's room to use. Many a student was caught unawares when they tried to sit down on a holographic chair or desk. A good deal of students had bruised noses, and egos, when they tried to walk through a holographic doorway that had been superimposed over a stone wall. Personally, Jaina was disappointed that so many students, and even a few teachers, fell for the holoprojectors. She could feel the difference easily enough through the force. But the sheer amusement gained from a discreetly placed holoprojector was worth a little discomfort. The students seemed to agree, for even after they were caught unawares, they told no one and even tried to lure other unsuspecting students into the trick. The Academy halls echoed with bumps, startled exclamations, and peals of laughter.

 

Chapter 6

The next morning, Kyp staggered out of bed, sure that there were dark circles under his eyes. He had been up for three hours with Raynar, trying to explain the Force to him. Lack of sleep was not something he particularly minded, except that he hasn't slept very much over the last few days and was beginning to feel it. At least, he told himself, he only had another day and night before the dreaded Shintaree ended. Then, maybe, he could rest undisturbed by nightmares. It didn't help when he thought of a few of the pranks that he had pulled in earlier years.

Just as he was finishing dressing, there was a knock on his door. Running his hands through his hair, he opened it to see Tionne standing in the hallway. There was a peculiar look on her face. He smiled nervously. Before he could say anything, though, she spoke.

"There is a comm for you." She gestured in the general direction of the comm center. All the way there, she was silent, thoughtful. He was deliberating on whether or not to ask her about it when they reached the room. He walked through it and stopped dead in his tracks. As he stood there, staring, he was fully aware that his jaw was hanging open, but he couldn't seem to do anything about it. He tried to speak, but his vocal chords seemed as frozen as the rest of his body. He took a deep breath and tried again, this time with a little more success.

"Tell me I'm still asleep. I'm dreaming, I have to be." He absentmindedly reached up to massage his temple. He blinked his eyes a few times, then, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him, asked, "How?"

Tionne chuckled. She, too, had been somewhat surprised, but then she had had time to recover. Kyp seemed rooted to the spot, unable to move.

In front of them, centered in the operations room, was a T-23 Skyhopper. A part of Kyp's mind noted that it was the skyhopper that belonged to Lowie. The craft, while not as large as say, the Millenium Falcon, was still much too large to fit through the doorway. From behind him, Tionne chuckled again.

"I assume they had to disassemble it, bring all the parts in and then reassemble it. Quite a task." There was something akin to pride in her voice.

"No kidding." The numbness was wearing off, Kyp thought. An insistent beep penetrated the haze his mind was in.

"Oh, yes. There is an incoming transmission for you."

Kyp was surprised he managed to walk the half dozen paces it took to cross the room and seated himself at the console. Still somewhat dazed, he activated the comm. The static on the screen was replaced by the image of Luke Skywalker. In the background, he could see Han moving around the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon. Whatever greeting Luke had planned to say died as he took in the background behind Kyp.

"I wasn't aware we had a comm station in the hangar."

"We don't." It was Luke's turn to look confused.

"Isn't that Lowie's skyhopper behind you?"

"It is indeed."

Comprehension blossomed on his face. He reached back and caught Han by the shoulder, pulling him into view. The older man did a double-take as he peered over Luke's shoulder.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Sure is." Luke answered for Kyp.

"Is that where I think it is?"

"Right again."

Han sat back in shock. "Well I'll be a nerf-herder. They must have had to disassemble it into, what, four separate pieces?" He thought a moment, then corrected himself. "Nope, five." He beamed with fatherly pride and slapped Luke on the back. "What'd I tell you? She's got the Solo genes after all. Tell me that isn't the work of a top-rate mechanic!"

Luke was watching Kyp and decided it would be in everyone's best interests if the communication ended as soon as possible. "Anyway, Kyp, I just called to tell you we'll be there in time for lunch tomorrow. See you then." With that, the screen reverted to static. Kyp let his head sink forward until it rested on the wall. He began tapping his forehead on it, all the while muttering something under his breath. When Tionne asked

 

Okay, I lied.

Epilogue

Jaina had just seated herself at their usual table that morning when Jacen arrived, looking inordinately self-satisfied. At her raised eyebrows, he explained.

"You're not the only one who can pull off tricks, you know." He sat down, jubilant. "Just wait."

"What did you do?"

"Well, you know how you had that extra capsule of fluorescent dye just lying around? You know, the pink stuff." He waited until she nodded in confusion. "Well, I figured that it was too good to go to waste, so I slipped it into the showerhead in the guest room where Wurth Skidder is staying." He poked her teasingly. "You may bow to me now, oh lowly sister." She inclined her head in the direction of another entrance.

"Before you congratulate yourself too much, Jasa, you might want to look over there." He turned to follow her gaze and saw Wurth Skidder string to the table and sit down. Other than the fact that his hair was slightly damp, he appeared completely normal. Jacen's face fell.

"That's impossible."

Jaina was also confused, but a knawing worry had begun to develop in the pit of her stomach.

"Are you sure you put it in the right room?"

He nodded. "The one in the northwest corner on the second level, right?"

Her stomach clenched. "But he's staying on the first level, Jasa." Her face paled and she swallowed. "The only other guest room in use right now is-" Comprehension blossomed on her brother's face like an atomic explosion. He, too paled. He opened his mouth, gasping like a fish out of water.

At the same time, there was a mighty bellow and roar that echoed throughout the entire temple, causing the students to look up nervously. The sound was coming ever closer. As one entity, the entire room turned their heads and watched, riveted as a very angry, very pink - make that fuschia - wookie barreled through the doorway, bellowing angrily. Lowie cringed and sank down into his seat until only his eyes were above the level of the table. Not that it took an understanding of the wookie language to understand the gist of the conversation. It could have been a room full of statues as Chewbacca made his way to front of the room and stopped, his eyes roving over the rows of beings.

Jacen and Jaina had gone from pale to waxen in the meantime. In unspoken agreement, they slithered out of their chairs and half-crouched, half-crawled to the nearest exit. Once there, they abandoned all semblance of dignity and ran out towards the jungle. Only once they were across they were across the wide river did they stop, gasping for breath. Leaning against a tree for support, Jacen studied they way they had come.

"Maybe-" he panted, "-maybe he doesn't know we did it." His sister snorted.

"He's a wookie, for Sith's sake! You know, extraordinary sense of smell, strength, capable of mindless rage!" She rounded on her brother. "And you, you dyed him pink!" She rested her head in her hands. "We are so much rancor-bait!"

Jacen smiled weakly. "Well, there is an up side to all this."

"Yeah, if we're lucky, we can hide until Dad and Uncle Luke come back and so what if we're grounded until we're thirty, at least we'll have all our extremities intact."

"Well, yeah. And we'll be able to see Chewie coming from half a kilometer away."

THE END. REALLY.

I must admit, to my chagrin, that two of the pranks above were not completely original and were instead, lovingly emulated from their original sources. You guess which two. (Kudos to those who know the sources.)

If you noticed that some of the characters acted rather irrationally or some strange plot gaps, try to remember that this was intended to be humorous first, then canonically accurate. If you still have problems reconciling this, I suggest you get over it. Whether or not this requires a weekly trip to an expensive therapist is your business.

As always, please forgive any spelling and/or grammatical dissonances. They were not intentional and were probably a product of my poor typing skills and a ten-year-old keyb

 

Aw, this was hilarious! I love YJK fics! You write all the kids really well.