*cue Crappy Academy Awards music* *Saintheart walks out to podium in bow tie and tuxedo* Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Perth Entertainment Centre on this beautiful Thursday night for the first convention of Socks Anonymous. For those of you just joining us tonight, this convention has been organised at the request of numerous socks throughout Western Australia who want to talk about their lives and the way their owners have neglected them. Here, if you're a sock, you'll receive the warmth, support, and fabric softener of other socks who feel just like you. So please...come forward to the podium, or speak from your seats, and make your stories known! Awright, reality check: (1) Socks used in here should *NOT* be used in any other threads. Let's not invite the wrath of the mods. (2) Stick to the TOS, boys and girls. (3) Old socks, new socks, used socks are all welcome here. (3) Real people are welcome as well.