1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. Hey Fanficers! In fixing the prefixes something happened and now you can't edit titles. Don't panic! We're looking into what happened and trying to fix it.

Beyond - Legends ~~::| STAR WARS: The Shadow of the Sith - A Gothic Novel |::~~

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LordDarthUmbrus, Oct 1, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. LordDarthUmbrus

    LordDarthUmbrus Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 24, 2004
    Welcome my dear friends to something I've wanted to do for years, write my very own Star Wars (Fan) Novel. At last, I've worked up the gumption to do it.

    So, just in time for Halloween, I am starting it.

    I hope you enjoy it. Please be kind, this is my first time doing anything like this.

    This one is for Titus and Pasha.
    Thanks guys for the inspiration and the encouragement.
    I hope your stuff get's published one day like it should!


    [blockquote][hl=black]A long time ago in a galaxy far far away . . .[/hl]

    [hl=black]STAR WARS[/hl]
    [hl=black]THE SHADOW OF THE SITH[/hl]
    [hl=black] [/hl]
    [hl=black]It is a time of relative peace in the Galaxy. The terrors of the YUUZHAN VONG incursion are 15 years distant and the GALACTIC ALLIANCE works to repair the worlds and the lives devastated by the WAR OF GALACTIC INVASION.

    The JEDI KNIGHTS under Jedi Master LUKE SKYWALKER have mourned their losses and have grown in the intervening years since the terrible conflict. Though settled in their restored home on Coruscant and largely unchallenged by new threats, the Jedi have continued their vigil to safeguard the Galaxy from danger and injustice.

    Working along with the Constitutional Congress of the Galactic Alliance chaired by Chancellor LEIA ORGANA-SOLO, the Jedi have worked to foster a spirit of unity and good will with member systems and have been instrumental in reaching out to unaligned worlds seeking diplomatic relations.

    En route to just such a world on just such a mission is Jedi Padawan BEN SKYWALKER. Little does he know that a darkness has risen again in the Galaxy. A darkness thought long destroyed. A shadow of the past that looms again in the black vastness of space. Waiting, lurking, hungering, for the death of all Jedi and perhaps for the death of the Galaxy its self . . .
  2. LordDarthUmbrus

    LordDarthUmbrus Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 24, 2004
    Chapter 1: The Lengthening Shadow

    Part 1 - Black Planets and Ghost Nebulas
    The star field spun slowly out the viewport as space returned to normal from hyperspace. Scintillating embers in the eternal black night that was deep space, the stars shown in every size and color. In the Umbaran system the Ghost Nebula was clearly visible against the shimmering backdrop of the starfield. It was a beautiful if ominous looking nebula with its purples and blues. Though many of the colorful limbs of the nebula were visible, many more were eclipsed by dark matter that looked like black ink against its face.

    One such dark spot looked rather disturbing at certain parallaxes. This blot of dark matter was called the Desmodus Occlusion, nicknamed the ?Bat Nebula? by spacers because it looked like a huge black Duxunian Bat reaching out its infinite wings across the vast face of the Ghost Nebula.

    Toward this gaping darkness sped Ben Skywalker?s personal shuttle. The little tri-wing craft had already sailed into the outer mists of the nebula. Ben?s particle shielding reacted with a faint eerie glow due to the increased matter density in the nebula?s penumbra. Soon he would have to fly entirely on sensor inputs to navigate to his destination. That and also by using the Force.

    The planet Umbara waited deep in the bowls of the Bat Nebula, forever obscured in its darkness. Ben wondered about the world. What it would be like. What the Umbarans would be like. How they could have come to survive on such a darkened world and, much more interesting, how they could have formed such a vibrant civilization there. The world and its people were mysterious and they were made so purposefully. Ben had been told by his father, Master Luke Skywalker, that they did not welcome outsiders and that they shunned much of the rest of the galaxy. They only interacted with other alien civilizations when absolutely necessary and then only under strict controls.

    The only notable Umbaran know in the galaxy had been Sly Moore, the mysterious administrative assistant to the evil Emperor Palpatine. This did not give Ben warm fuzzies about coming to Umbara, but Luke had been contacted himself by a high official who had asked for assistance in setting up diplomatic relations between Umbara and the Galactic Alliance. After the Yuuzhan Vong incursion, the Galactic Alliance could use all the support it could get. Being that it was a simple diplomatic mission to a world not known for hostility, Dad had thought it a good first assignment for Ben to cut his teeth on. Usually a senior Jedi would have accompanied Ben on such a mission, but Master Katarn and Master Durron were not available as they were still rectifying the terrible damage done by the Yuuzhan Vong in the galaxy 15 years ago. His mother, Mara Jade, was also away on a mission to Coruscant to review the status of that world and to see if any progress had been made in reversing the ruin that the Yuuzhan Vong had made of the former Galactic Capital. Ben was on his own and on his first mission. His father put much faith in Ben?s abilities. Maybe too much, Ben thought to himself.

    Well, Ben was not entirely alone, though at times during the flight he wished he had been alone. Dad and Aunt Leia had insisted that he take C-3PO and Artoo Deetoo with him. Threepio had been sent along because of his protocol and etiquette knowledge, which were encyclopedic (a fact Threepio pressed home till bruising). Artoo had been sent along because he was a resourceful survivor beyond imagining and because someone needed to be able to control Threepio when he became too annoying. Mostly, Ben understood two real reasons the two loyal droids had been sent along. Number one: they were a constant and dependable rescue team if Ben got into any trouble. Number two: the behavioral dynamic between the two of them could be endlessly entertaining on a long boring hyperflight.

    ?What do you mean to say I?m a lily-livered ninny, you eccentric junk pile! I ha
  3. Jedi_Hunter_505

    Jedi_Hunter_505 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 1, 2004
    Umbrus, looks good.

    This is going to be good.

    Just one question, is it going to officially end on Halloween?

    So far, it's looking promising though.
  4. Darth_Underwear

    Darth_Underwear Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 14, 2004

    Great premise for a story. NJO Era with the rise of old school Sith.

    IMHO what has been missing in the Post SW4-6 Novels.

    Great story so far.

  5. Bacon164

    Bacon164 Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Mar 22, 2005
    Umbrus, what I love about this opening entry in your story is that you made it feel like a Star Wars Film. The banter between Artoo and Threepio was classic, and Ben seems to be a righteous hero.

    The black planet as it is called is very strange. I look forward to more. ;)
  6. KyleKatarn96

    KyleKatarn96 Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 19, 2004
    Very good story so far. I haven't read any novels on here in months, and this seems to be the perfect one to start following again. Looking foward to the next update :)
  7. KyleKatarn96

    KyleKatarn96 Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 19, 2004
    Woops, double post. Sorry :p
  8. LordDarthUmbrus

    LordDarthUmbrus Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 24, 2004
    Thank you all for your kind comments. They are much appreciated.

    Thanks JH. No, it won't end on Halloween, but it will be spooky enough to where it will be quite in keeping with Halloween.

    Thanks again for all the comments. I hope to post again in a week (or less if I can get the sequence of the next part down good),


    Say Tuned . . .
  9. starwarsbeauty

    starwarsbeauty Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 1, 2005
    very nice! bravo!
  10. LordDarthDevaious

    LordDarthDevaious Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 25, 2005
    Your story is without flaw, my Lord. Your brilliant writing is worthy of recognition in the SDO hall of fame if we should ever build one. It is without a doubt one of the best fan fictions I have ever read, and better than some books that have been published about Star Wars! Keep up the good work, my Lord!
  11. pashatemur

    pashatemur Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 21, 2004
    My Lord, I am very moved by your kind invocation! You know how very highly I regard you and your estimable talent. I am glad finally to see you put your great creativity into a novel and I wish you every divine torture and exhilaration it can bring. This is a tremendous start; effective, atmospheric, apt and intriguing character development, and in just paragraphs I already find myself anticipating your next update. Did I mention your lyric prose? I can't say enough wonderful things about your work!


    Pasha, Lady Acroama
  12. BlackSun45

    BlackSun45 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 6, 2004
    One of the better new stories I've read here in some time. Keep up the good work.
  13. LadyZaraMarta

    LadyZaraMarta Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 21, 2004
    Congratulations, LDU!=D=

    Wonderful storyteller.

    A brillant start to your novel.

    Looking forward to be entertained for many weeks ahead.

  14. LordDarthUmbrus

    LordDarthUmbrus Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 24, 2004
    Thank you all for your encouragement.
    I shall continue on . . .

    Thanks ever so much. [face_smile]


    Part 2 ? The People of the Shadow
    The surprisingly turbulent Umbaran atmosphere parted as the Nautilus began its descent to the surface. Inside the ship?s cabin the inertial dampers were barely keeping up with the beating the Nautilus was taking from the outside. The jittering and bouncing inside could be felt by all, but perhaps most keenly by poor Threepio.

    ?W-w-we?re a-a-all do-do-doomed. I-I J-just N-Knew t-this w-ould ha-happen!!!? Threepio cried when a particularly nasty jab of turbulence hit the Nautilus from below.

    Threepio was thrown up out of his seat cracking his metallic head on the overhead, despite having his harness meticulously secured.

    ?BZZZZT. Owwww-fffff! I-If only M-Master H-han w-w-were here!? Threepio quipped with irritation at his young pilot as his vocodor began to spit static from the continual violent shaking.

    A sideways push from the atmosphere caused poor Artoo to lose his magnetic footing on the deck and he was sent sailing into the far bulkhead.

    ?Waaaaahhhooow! Squereeleeeleee-beedlie-boodoop beedlie-boodoop.? Artoo screamed in alarm.

    ?O-o-oh NO-ffffff! D-don?t s-say [BRDZZZ] things l-like that, A-Artoo!? Threepio wailed.

    ?W-wh-what a-are y-you t-two b-blathering ab-about!?? Ben said through his rattling teeth. Then the alarm sounded from his control panel. A red lighted diagram of the shuttle suddenly popped up with indicators pointing to the port stabilizer. The display said that the stabilizer had lost cohesion.

    ?O-oh, G-great!!? Ben gibbered as the shuttle continued to shimmy and shake. Ben frantically reached around to various controls tweaking this and pulling that.

    Suddenly, as quickly as the turbulence had started it had stopped again. It was like they were gliding on glass, though the Nautilus liked to list toward port a bit, something that did not make Ben happy.

    ?Oh, thank goodness that?s over.? Threepio rubbed his head feeling a dent there.

    Artoo returned to his socket. Earlier, as the turbulence began, Artoo had found the presence of mind to disconnect himself from the computer jack so that he would not damage his data-plug or the ship?s droid interface. Artoo reattached himself and began working on a diagnostic.

    ?What?s the story on that stabilizer Artoo?? Ben asked the droid curtly.

    ?Bee-doodle Beet-Deet Toot.? Artoo sounded ?reassuring?, if such a thing could be ascribed to a set of electronic noises.

    ?Well that is something, anyway. At last you prove yourself useful for a change. Artoo says that the port stabilizer has suffered some damage but that he can repair it using the shuttle?s self-repair systems. I wouldn?t trust him though. He took a nasty blow to his logic-circuits just now as did I to my head. Forgive my outburst Master Ben, I meant no offense.? Threepio said apologetically.

    ?No problem, Threepio. None of us saw that coming. Weird. ETA is 3 minutes Artoo, you think you can hold that stabilizer together till we land?? Ben asked.

    ?Ob-Root!? an obvious attempt by Artoo at ?of course?.
    ?He said ?of course?, Master Ben.? Threepio reported dutifully.
    ?Yeah, I kind?a gathered that.? Ben said with a hint of sarcasm.

    Soon the ship was flying much more smoothly. Obviously, whatever Artoo had done had worked. That?s good, thought Ben. He didn?t want to have to land with no stabilization. Ben decided to put the running lights of the ship on so he would be better able to see any further atmospheric disturbances or other problems along their flight path.

    At the tap of a switch the exterior of the shuttle lit up like a Life Day tree. This simple act, considered totally reasonable on most worlds, brought a very unexpected response from the surface.

    The burbling noise came to the Nautilus?s comm and with it the voice of a highly irritated air traffic controller.

    ?You will shut down your running lights immediately, Blinder, or we will be forced to EM-pulse your vessel. This is your
  15. pashatemur

    pashatemur Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 21, 2004
    Lovely again! LDU, so imaginative and the characters so detailed and vivid! Sing on!
  16. LordDarthDevaious

    LordDarthDevaious Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 25, 2005
    Very well written, my Lord. I find it interesting that the Umbarans eyes must be so different than ours. And also wonder how Sly Moore was able to see on Coruscant... very good. I hope for another update soon.
  17. LordDarthUmbrus

    LordDarthUmbrus Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 24, 2004
    Thank you both, Pasha and Lord Devaious for your kind words. As to how Sly Moore was able to stand the bright light of Courscant, I don't know yet. Maybe she'll tell us in coming chapters.

    Thank you for your patience. Here is the next part:

    Part 3 ? The Shadow?s Secretary

    The inside of the Ministry of State was possibly even more spectacular than the outside. Beyond the intricately carved front doors of the of entrance spread a great tiled mall punctuated by planters. The planters contained massive trees that reached toward the vaulted ceiling of the great room. Each tree swayed of its own power creating its own breeze. Their smell was sweet and herby. It was a lovely scent that smelled better than the sweetest Malovian Pine or Onderonian Cedar. They added a majestic grandeur to the mall that no statue, work of art, or colonnade could ever match.

    In the center of the wide chamber a multi-arrayed fountain burbled melodically. Cold lasers from somewhere deep inside the fountain?s base lighted the fountain in a dazzling panorama of colors. The lasers managed to turn every drop of water in the fountain?s spray into a multifaceted gem. Ben had never seen anything quite like the effect before, especially through his UV Visor. The water droplets positively sparked and flared through their bright prisms.

    Only a few others besides he, the droids, and his two Umbaran guides walked through the cavernous room. Their collective footfalls did not ring or echo as Ben thought they should on tile. The consistency of the tiles was strange too, spongy and shock absorbing. He looked down to see that the tiles were in fact some kind of painted spongiform. They sparkled a little when one stepped on them. Ben looked behind himself and saw that his foot prints trailed after him in a purple glow, as did everyone else?s. This was a very diverting affect, if slightly unnerving. Someone could not possibly walk here unnoticed, despite the sound absorbing qualities of the flooring. Their footprints would give them away.

    Elussa noticed Ben?s reaction to the flooring and clarified its purpose: ?Umbaran?s are a people who enjoy quiet. Harsh sounds are very disconcerting to us due to our sensitive hearing. It has been customary for us to use Oligious Foam for our flooring for eons. It derives from a spongiform fungi that grows in our ubiquitous forests. Unfortunately, the past has taught us that care must be taken in a soundless world. Masters of Stealth came to depend on the Oligious Foam floors to hide their presences. In the past spies and assassins have used the Umbaran like for this kind of flooring to aid in their nefarious works. Umbarans despaired of having to do away with their beloved Oligious Foam, but an additive was discovered that plainly revealed any who walked on it. Phosphorescent Oligious Foam now prevents sneaking around in any fashion in our public places and in many people?s homes. One would have to fly to avoid being revealed by POF!?

    ?An effective and attractive security device.? Ben said with admiration.

    ?Indeed, Master Ben. The Umbarans certainly have mastered mixing art with function.? Threepio?s tinny voice sounded out of place in the hall. It attracted attention as well. The loitering Umbaran office staff all stopped what they were doing and looked up in Threepio?s general direction. They all had looks of deep disapproval on their pigmented faces.

    Threepio slowed his shimmy a bit as if someone had suddenly cast an unwanted spotlight on him. ?Oh, dear.? He said nervously. Artoo made a warbling noise that sounded worried as well.

    Ben never broke his easy stride with Elussia and completely ignored the irrelevant attitudes of the ubiquitous Umbarans. The droids shimmied and rolled to catch up with their master. They formed up much more tightly to him than they had before.

    Soon the group approached a grand staircase. Ben looked at it as a curiosity and then looked around for the turbolift, but . . . there was no turbolift. Elussia began ascending the staircase and nodd
  18. pashatemur

    pashatemur Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 21, 2004
    "...there were no purple footprints!" Yessssssssssss! Excellent! Get the popcorn and give us a stormy night! Tell us more, Uncle!
  19. LadyZaraMarta

    LadyZaraMarta Jedi Master star 5

    Aug 21, 2004
    LDU - You captured 3PO perfectly! I heard his voice!

    Excellent descriptions that filled in the background perfectly.
    I felt I was an invisible observer to all that was happening.

    Thank you!
  20. LordDarthDevaious

    LordDarthDevaious Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 25, 2005
    Your best update yet. Surprised to learn Sly Moore is still alive. And the suspense at the end.... more please!
  21. LordDarthUmbrus

    LordDarthUmbrus Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 24, 2004
    Part 4 - The Shadow?s Lair


    Together Ben, Minister De?seet, Elussa, and the droids made their way back down the stairs and through an immense arched hallway to the back of the building complex. Two guards bedecked with ornate armor and skull caps opened the doors and clicked their heels as the Minister of State passed through it with his entourage.

    Ben found himself again outside in the cold air of the Umbaran night. The air was scented with some kind of night blooming jasmine which brought his attention to the neatly manicured garden of exotic plant life that adorned the back paths of the Ministry.

    Traveling through the garden and around a number of dazzling water features was a path of the same spongiform paving found everywhere else in the Ministry. Ben followed Elussa as they walked the winding path. The Minister of State continued at Ben?s side describing the various plants and fungi that the beautiful garden contained.

    ?Indeed, I know of many kinds of gardens throughout the Galaxy. Perhaps those of the Ithorians are the most prized, but I must say, and I know my view is somewhat skewed in this regard, but that our gardens here in Umbara are quite singular in their uniqueness.? The Ministers low soothing voice was almost an opiate to any who listened to it. Ben felt quite off-guard . . . and didn?t mind it a bit.

    ?I quite agree, sir. I am . . . really quite amazed, the truth be told. Umbara is not at all how I thought it would be. I certainly couldn?t imagine a garden of such lushness in a place that had so little light.? Ben said with complete candor.

    ?Ah, but there is quite a bit of ?light? that filters down from our sky, Your Grace. Invisible to your eyes, and largely to ours, but radiant energy of many kinds finds its way to our world?s surface. The vegetation and the wildlife that live here exist by virtue of this radiation. UV radiation for the most part. Oh, but look . . . Fivel has come out to visit us.? The Minister said with fondness.

    The minister pointed a long boney finger forward and to the left and Ben followed it with his eyes. Ben gasped as he saw the creature De?Seet was pointing too. It was a stag like creature that was glowing with a pure white glow. It was perhaps the most beautiful living thing Ben had ever laid eyes on.

    The glowing stag approached the fellowship with an easy grace. As it came closer, Ben could see finer details. Swirls of color that seemed to dance about the creature?s glowing fur. He could also make out two dark spots at the front of its face and above its muzzle that were eyes.

    ?Oh, my goodness. What, by the Maker . . . Oh no its coming closer ? Threepio shivered.

    The stag stopped short as it heard Threepio?s shrill voice. Ben turned to Threepio and waved him back with a furrowed brow. Threepio shuffled back several steps and remained silent.

    Elussia, meanwhile had busied herself by picking some glowing pink fungi from the side of the path. The stag approached her forgetting the strange golden creature with the shrill voice. Gently it nibbled at the fungi and then nuzzled Elussa's hand as it ate.

    The stag then presented itself to Ben, cautiously sniffing his hand. Elussia smiled and handed Ben some of the fungi. The stag accepted it from his hand. Ben placed his hand on the remarkable creature?s head and it leaned into his hand and made a cooing noise.

    ?Beautiful, isn?t he. Fivel is a rare Phosphor Moon Stag from deep in our northern woods. We have a small herd of Phosphor Moon Deer in the compound. They are exceedingly rare where once there were vast herds. When they would migrate they would create veritable seas of glowing white. They were nearly made extinct from . . . er . . . over-hunting.? The minister said with a touch of sadness mixed with clear evasiveness.

    In the distance an odd sound caught Ben?s ears. It was a creaking sound mixed with a clop clop sound. It was getting louder as whatever it was approached.

    Suddenly the stag snuffed and popped its head up as it angled its head and ears
  22. SithStarSlayer

    SithStarSlayer Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Oct 23, 2003
    Thanks for the link LDU, you have captured the essence of the GFFA! I look forward to reading more...

    [Vader] "Very good my Lord!" [/Vader]
  23. Ragozy

    Ragozy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 24, 2004
    Outstanding, Lord Umbrus. Often I have heard "that" voice in your words. The hairs on my neck stand up. We'll be F5'ing as in the old day, soon.
  24. Nefertiti

    Nefertiti Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 15, 2004
    Very nice LDU...reminds me of Harker's first visit...
  25. pashatemur

    pashatemur Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 21, 2004
    "Zo, vee heahrrrr frrrrohm dee cheeldren of dee nahhhhhhheeet. Peeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrfict!"

    Nictate - you word-"smythe," you! I love it, my Lord. I am glued to the posts, pray continue..........Please forgive my delay in reading. As always and with everything you put your hand to, magnificent! The detail and incecdentals, the action words, and descriptors all combine to put one "in the scene." Thank you.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.