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Saga The Altered Forces: Beginnings (A/P) COMPLETED!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by darksideyesplease, May 24, 2005.

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  1. darksideyesplease

    darksideyesplease Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 12, 2005
    Major AU!
    Characters: Anakin (11 years old), Padme (12 years old) (at the start of the story only, they age several years as the chapters continue.) Shmi, Ruwee, Jobal, 3PO, R2, Palpatine, eventually a PT Jedi or two.

    Summary: Anakin is 11 and Padme is 12, that?s the first thing that makes it AU. Second is Anakin is still a slave on Tatoonie, and this first little chapter should explain some of where I?m going with the story. I have a feeling this will be my best one yet. At least I hope. Enjoy

    The Altered Force: Beginnings

    Chapter 1

    Young Anakin Skywalker ran out of his small Tatoonian home. He heard what sounded like a ship coming in too hot out of space. The 11 year old boy ran out past the settlements and looked out into the vastness of desert.

    He took the primitive binoculars to his eyes, and could see a craft making a crash landing about two miles from him.

    ?That?s a Nubian model.? Anakin mumbled to himself. He usually would think twice about going to see a crashed ship, sometimes it would be smugglers or pirates and you didn?t want to get involved with them. Not even to help.

    But Anakin felt that with the type of transportation it was, it might be someone important. So Anakin ran. Ran as fast as his legs would take him. He could see black smoke in the distance now with the naked eye.

    Just when he thought he was getting tired, he would run fast. He took notice of his marker rocks. They were coming near.

    He had made markers on the outskirts of the cities, so he would know how far he could go before his beacon planted inside of him would alert his owner of a slave escape. Anakin cringed when he saw the plane was about 25 yards past his markings. He saw two adults hobbling out of the ship. They were calling and looking for someone else. Anakin looked on. The two noticed Anakin and waived to him for help. Anakin wanted to dart to the ship and help them search for whatever it was they were looking for.

    He knew he only had a few seconds before the alarm would go off, and then Watto would be free to push a button and destroy him. Anakin thought to himself. ?Six seconds.. Maybe seven..? He couldn?t make up his mind.

    He shrugged, ?Better just make it five seconds.? Anakin saw a young girl trapped on the side. That?s who they were looking for. Anakin pointed at the two adults, trying to instruct them where to find there other passenger.

    They were lost in a panic, they didn?t understand what Anakin was telling them, and they ran around in a frantic state. Fuel was leaking from the ship and it might explode at any time.

    Anakin inhaled deeply before darting off in a sprint as fast as he could. He race towards the young girl. His first thoughts were ?She?s cute.? Anakin almost wanted to laugh, then remembered he was saving someone?s life here, and he had to hurry before his was ended in the process.

    Anakin lifted up a part of the plane and took her by the arm, as she squeezed her way out. She had a slight limp in her leg, and wasn?t running fast enough for Anakin. Especially when he saw a small fire fixing to come in contact with leaking fuel.

    He picked the girl up and waved to the adults to run back from the ship.

    Anakin turned around and spun, and threw the girl behind at rock, as he continued to pick up speed, to get back behind his markers.

    ?This is taking a lot longer than five seconds.? Anakin told himself, as he jumped back into his safety zone.

    He knew Watto would still be alerted, and he would have to hear it all day, but at least he was still alive.

    Anakin dusted himself off, and the ship exploded. He stood back up in a bit of shock. For a second he thought maybe he had just been blown up. He watched the plane crumble away. The two adults helped up the young girl, who Anakin could only presume was there daughter.

    Anakin was a bit shy, even though he had just saved their lives, he wasn?t use to too many strangers. Besides the old drunk ones that hang outside the Cantina?s ?just passing through?

    ?Thank you so much son, we owe you a deb
  2. jmsbndgrl

    jmsbndgrl Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 31, 2004
    Great start to this story. A "stuck up" Padme and "trying to hard to be impressive" Anakin. I love it!

    Loved it when Anakin smacked his head for uttering the Angel line.

    I hope Padme comes up with a good apology for her nasty behavior. :)

    Keep it coming.
  3. Jeditheskyisblue

    Jeditheskyisblue Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 17, 2001
    Anakin was just so cute in the last few parts and I just hope that Padme come off being so stuck up.
  4. LukeSkywalker_2001

    LukeSkywalker_2001 Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 18, 2002
    I liked your idea....I think this is a cute story so far...Anakin and Padmé being around the same age, Anakin saving Padmé's life, Anakin meeting Padmé's parents, Padmé's parents meeting Shmi...discussion amongst the adults....


    It certainly held my attention.

    This will be interesting to see what happens next....I like this kind of story :)
  5. Lieutenant_Jaina

    Lieutenant_Jaina Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 26, 2003
    How lovely. Nice plot bunny. I'm definately staying for this one.
  6. Jek_Windu

    Jek_Windu Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 26, 2003
    This is really good. I like how you write Anakin and Padme as children. One question, though- will Anakin get off Tatooine and become a Jedi?
  7. darksideyesplease

    darksideyesplease Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 12, 2005
    jmsbndgrl- thanks for checking it out and the other help you gave me in PM's, appreciate it alot.

    Jeditheskyisblue - Padme will loosen up, she almost a teenager now, so she's just going through a little phase. sometimes it's hard to remember i'm writing two kids but I'll get use to it.

    LukeSkywalker_2001 - I think you'll be mosted pleased to see the direction of the story in the next few chapters, should explain a lot.

    Lieutenant_Jaina - glad to hear it.

    Jek_Windu - You'll get an answer to if he will get off the planet in chapter 3, really there is a major spoiler in chapter 2, but 3 seals it up.

    I have chapter 2 complete, I will post it in the morning when i return home from work.

    Hopefully going to get a deception and deceit out either tommorrow or the next day too.
  8. lady_sapphire

    lady_sapphire Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 12, 2005
    what a pleasant surprise...i come home from work and find a new story by darksideyesplease! great start too, you don't see too many stories like this. i think it's pretty original too. i like the interaction with young anakin and young padme. that's probably how they would act too. keep it up and post chapter 2!!
  9. astarael

    astarael Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 8, 2005
    Excellent start to what I believe will be another excellent story.

    My, Padme put her foot in her mouth then, didn't she?
  10. darksideyesplease

    darksideyesplease Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 12, 2005

    lady_sapphire - glad you look forward to my stories, I certainly to yours. I am obsessed with writing A/P as you noticed but I've been writing about them already being married and already in love.

    I wanted to start a story where they could be young, and fall in love over time. That's why I chose this plot.

    astarael - Yea, but Padme will grow up kinda quick, she will have to if she is to become a politician, thanks for reading astarael, i can always count on you for some nice replies. Here we go with

    Chapter 2

    Anakin nodded as Padme continued to speak to him. They both sat against a boulder just outside the settlement.

    ?I understand Padme, you don?t need to go on any further.? Anakin said, not wanting to hear the girl ramble any longer.

    ?Okay, I just feel bad for saying that. I know I?ve been a bit bratty, but you see I was looking so forward to going home.? Padme said, as she looked up into the light filled sky.

    ?I want to be anywhere but home.? Anakin said as he used the boulder to prop himself up, as he put his hands in his pockets and started to walk away. He looked down at the ground, and would take larger steps. Padme looked at him, from her sitting position. She thought to herself ?Boys are so weird.? She shook her head and followed him back to his home.

    They continued there walk in silence. Anakin decided to get brave again, after failing miserably the last time to get on Padme?s good side.

    ?You know, you were pretty mean to me.? Anakin said, as he kicked a small rock through the sand.

    Padme looked at him with that oh so famous cold stare he was beginning to know very well.

    ?I just thought maybe we should hug and make up.? Anakin wanted to bust out in laughter, he had never asked a girl for a hug before, let alone ever had a kiss.

    Padme broke into hysterical laughter. Anakin looked at her in frustration. She waved a finger at him, still laughing as hard as she could.

    ?I?m sorry I called you a slave, but you are still a dirty boy. You expect me, a future Queen to hug you in such filth.? Padme said pointing at his clothes.

    Again she had struck a nerve with Anakin. But he let it slide this time. She just came from an entirely different background than him. He had to be patient. Patient? Ah, who has time for that.


    Anakin and Ruwee walked through a Cantina across from Watto?s shop. Ruwee was shocked that they let such a small boy as Anakin into these places.

    Anakin looked around, seeing if he recognized anyone. Ruwee had dressed down for the occasion, a suggestion Anakin gave him, and he sure glad he was. He looked like scum, which made him fit right in.

    Anakin stopped and Ruwee bent down, and Anakin whispered something to him, and pointed to a man.

    ?He might be able to exchange your republic credits.?

    Ruwee patted Anakin on the back and made his way over to the table. He had a brief conversation with the man, and soon left the table, walking back towards Anakin.

    ?What did he say?? Anakin asked, as Ruwee grabbed him by the arm to leave the Cantina.

    ?I don?t think he is going to help us.? Ruwee simply stated, not wanting to worry the boy.

    They walked outside, and Watto spotted Anakin.

    ?Boy, what are you doing!? Watto scolded him.

    Anakin glared at the ugly fly alien. ?I was just helping a friend.?

    Watto shook his head in anger. ?Get back in the shop and get to work!? Watto then acted as if he were going to hit Ruwee, as Anakin stomped back into the shop. Ruwee made his way back to the Skywalker?s home. When he entered Shmi and Jobal could see the expression on his face.

    ?What is it dear?? Jobal said as she walked towards her husband who seemed sad. ?Bad news??

    ?We will find a way out of here, I?m sure of that. I will make a transmission in the morning, I will just have to have someone from Naboo come and pick us up. No worries.? Ruwee threw his hands up in the air.

    Shmi walked into the kitchen, as Ruwee noticed, he turned to his wife.

    ?I saw the boy, with
  11. Jeditheskyisblue

    Jeditheskyisblue Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 17, 2001
    Did he get Anakin and his Mother's freedom?
  12. LukeSkywalker_2001

    LukeSkywalker_2001 Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 18, 2002
    This is really awesome! You were correct....I did enjoy this chapter!

    You are doing a beautiful job of creating interactions between characters, and I think you are doing an excellent job of portraying the children...the class differences between a slave and an important family in Naboo...your mention of Ruwee having to dress down at Anakin's suggestion, Padmé not wanting to touch slave clothing :)

    This is really good! I also like the fact that Ruwee and Jobal want to help Anakin and Shmi....very, very enjoyable chapter :)
  13. Lieutenant_Jaina

    Lieutenant_Jaina Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 26, 2003
    That was a great chapter. It's hard to imagine Padme as that kind of girl, but it's cool since it's AU. I'm looking forward to the development of the story.

  14. jmsbndgrl

    jmsbndgrl Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 31, 2004
    Loving this fic, great chapter. I love the tension you've developed between young Padme and Anakin. It makes for an interesting story between the two.
  15. darksideyesplease

    darksideyesplease Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 12, 2005
    Jeditheskyisblue - I'll post chapter 3 today and you'll see what transpires.

    LukeSkywalker_2001 - Thanks for pointing out all of those nice things to say. I think Chapter 3 is the best yet.

    Lieutenant_Jaina - I think of this more as a phase for Padme, so try not to think of it as her overall personality.

    jmsbndgrl - That's what i'm shooting for. I have a lot of different ideas for this. Knowning my stories there has to be some twist, and when you see this twist, IT'S KILLER, that's all I will say. Maybe it's been done in some fashion before, but Not the way it will be done in this. But that is still quite a ways off.

    But you should start picking up subtle hints in chapters soon to come.

    speaking of soon to come...

    Chapter 3 is nearly complete, and I will post that, along with Chapter 18 of Deception and Deceit before the day is done.

  16. lady_sapphire

    lady_sapphire Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 12, 2005
    great update! it will be interesting to see where you go from here.

    i like the fact that anakin is still trying to be friends with padme even as she treats him like crap.

    hmmmm...if anakin and shmi come to naboo with them, then anakin and padme will grow up together. very interesting.
  17. Moons_of_Iego_angel7

    Moons_of_Iego_angel7 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Feb 2, 2005
    Aww this is such a cute story, ^date soon? ;)
  18. darksideyesplease

    darksideyesplease Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 12, 2005
    Chapter 3
    Padme Laughs

    ?What!? Padme exclaimed as her father told her the news. Ruwee smiled at Anakin and rubbed his head.

    Shmi had a mixed look of shock and utter happiness on her face. Anakin ran over to his mother and hugged her around the waist. It took her a minute to get her bearings, but then she hugged him back.

    Ruwee waived them on to go gather there things. They would wait here for them.

    Padme watched Anakin and his mother walk off, and you could almost see columns of steam pour out of her ears.

    ?Just what do you think you?re doing father!? Padme demanded to know.

    Ruwee looked at Jobal and rolled his eyes a bit, then turned to his young daughter, and tried to smile, again into that ice cold look she shot with her big brown eyes.

    ?Padme, the boy saved your life, they have helped us a tremendously. I think it is our duty as upstanding Nubians to help these slaves reach freedom.? Ruwee continued. ?That?s what politicians of the democracy fight for. They haven?t taught you that in the legislative program yet?? Ruwee smiled thinking he had got the best of his daughter.

    But when it came to a twelve year old Padme, she saw no reason for anything to make sense, she just wanted it her way, or the Coruscant expressway.

    ?Yes father, but you can?t just go buy Outer Rim slaves and free them on Naboo.? Padme tried to refute.

    ?I don?t care what you think Padme, they are coming back to Naboo with us, and we will see them to have a good life. If we can?t even do this small task, then the Gungan?s are better than us. If we went by there way, you would be Anakin?s humble servant right now.? Ruwee teased his daughter.

    ?And I?m sure he?d like nothing more.? Padme barked, as she stomped onto the Nubian ship.

    Ruwee looked at Jobal, and they shared a laugh.

    ?Do you think this is a good idea?? Jobal said with slight hesitation.

    ?I believe they are good people. But it would be wise when we get back, not to let anyone know they are former slaves. I think they will have a hard enough time adjusting, especially Anakin.? Ruwee answered as he drew his wife near, for a gentle hug.

    ?I suppose this is the right thing to do. We do owe them.? Jobal admitted as she sighed, very unsure about bringing this new people into their lives.

    Ruwee held Jobal on the shoulder. ?We aren?t doing it because we owe them.? He smiled at her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. ?We are doing it because it is the right thing to do.?

    Padme sat on the ship and sulked to herself. Great, she had just given that filthy boy a hug goodbye, and now he was coming back to her home, where she had friends. She was sure Anakin would embarrass her.

    Padme began to pace around the ship, as her sulking turned into impatience. She stuck her head outside of the ship, and yelled down to her parents.

    ?They are taking to long, let?s just go.? Padme said, as she turned and laughed.

    ?When we get back home, can you please talk to her about being a young lady, again?? Ruwee let out a huge sigh, as he asked Jobal.

    ?You know the only reason she will be a great politician is because she is so stubborn.? Jobal said poking fun at her husband.

    ?Oh no, now she?s got you saying it. The thing you two don?t realize is, to become a great politician, first your nice to everyone while you kiss up, then after you get in power, you play hardball.? Ruwee poked back. He never wanted Padme to go into the Legislative youth program, but Padme had insisted upon it almost 2 years ago. Jobal agreed with her.

    Eventually it took their good friend Senator Palpatine to make Ruwee change his mind and let her go.

    Anakin, Shmi, and 3PO walked side by side, as dust blew around them as the wind picked up. They didn?t carry much with them.

    ?How much did you think he had to pay Watto?? Anakin asked his mother as they entered the hangar bay.

    ?I don?t know Ani, but do not ask, that is rude.? Shmi corrected Anakin.

    Anakin rolled his eyes as they continued to the ship.

    ?Welcome back!? Ruwee waived
  19. Jeditheskyisblue

    Jeditheskyisblue Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 17, 2001
    Did something happen to Padme to make her so mean? I hope Anakin caught up to her and pulls her hair (I know childish but after all that's all Anakin and Padme are at the moment lol)
  20. lady_sapphire

    lady_sapphire Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 12, 2005
    padme sure is stuck up. hope she grows out of this phase pretty quick because right now i want to smack her.

    padme laughing...i take it that doesn't happen that much. leave it anakin, though.

    great chapter. i look forward to more!
  21. jmsbndgrl

    jmsbndgrl Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 31, 2004
    Anakin's killing her with kindness. Its Taming of the Shrew (I hope Anakin wins).

    It will be interesting to see how Anakin adjusts to life on Naboo. I want him to embarass Padme in front of her friends, serves her right.
  22. BrownEyes_Blue

    BrownEyes_Blue Jedi Youngling star 2

    Aug 29, 2002
    Awww....this is sweet!!! I loved's an interesting premise and it's looking mighty good. I can't wait to see what happens when they reach Naboo.

    Yeah, I have to agree....Padme sure is stuck up and mean!!!'ll be great to see if she still thinks Anakin is a stupid little boy once he grows up to be a tall and handsome young man!!! =P~ [face_love]
  23. Wincer_Pan

    Wincer_Pan Jedi Youngling

    May 25, 2005
    Your stories are well written. And I love your Alternates on the love story between Padme and Anakin, adding a lighter side to the very dark and gloomy tale.
  24. astarael

    astarael Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 8, 2005
    Nice to see Padme warming up to Anakin, even if it's only slightly. She can be a stuborn girl, can't she?
  25. JediGaeliaWindstar

    JediGaeliaWindstar Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 9, 2005
    This version is very cute!
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