ST The Force Awakens Rewrite

In general, I liked the movie, mainly because it was Star Wars. I also felt the basic characters, actors, and the bones of the story were great. However, I felt I was watching just a generic action movie, not a Star Wars movie. The characters were not fully fleshed out, the state of the galaxy wasn't shown at all, and no other real world building was shown. And way too many ridiculous coincidences and logical mishaps.

For some reason, I feel compelled to rewrite the general story line of the movie for my own piece of mind. Here's the start of it...

The Finalizer is ominously moving through in space. An Admiral quickly walks across the star destroyer’s main deck to find General Hux. The Admrial reports to Hux they’re tracking a Republic X-Wing .Through spies and intelligence, the First Order believes the XWing is flown by a high ranking Republic pilot who knows vital Republic base locations and secrets. They want to capture the pilot and interrogate him. Hux informs the Admiral to continue tracking the X-Wing and contact him when it lands.

Cut to Poe Dameron flying in an X-Wing to the planet Jakku. BB-8 tells Poe this planet is somewhat deserted and not safe. Poe shakes off any fear of the planet and continues to land in a desolate spaceport. BB-8 asks Poe about his mission. Poe tells BB-8 he’s trying to contact Lor San Tekka who may be privy to information on the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker. Poe and BB-8 exit the X-Wing and start to ask the rare planet inhabitants as to where Tekka’s village is.

Cut to the Finalizer, where Hux oversees his army’s preparation for the capture of Poe. The Admiral informs Hux the X-Wing has landed on Jakku, and that his men are ready to capture the pilot. Cut to an elevator arriving and the door opens, revealing Kylo Ren. Ren walks across the platform, while the ship operators look up in the fear. Ren approaches Hux and tells him he feels a disturbance in the force, and he’ll be leading the army to the attack site. General Hux does not accept, and tells Ren his personal battle may affect the success of this mission. Ren’s temper slowly rises and explains that the First Order success is dependent on the dark side of the force and to trust his judgement. Ren further adds the Supreme Leader is anxiously waiting for results. General Hux reluctantly accepts Ren’s order to lead the army to attack. Ren exits and Hux motions to Capitan Phasma. Phasma approaches Hux, and Hux tells Phasma to keep an eye on Ren and make sure he doesn’t stray from the mission. Phasma accepts Hux’s order and walks toward the preparing army.

Cut to Jakku, where we meet Rey scavenging in the old wrecked Star Destroyer. Just as in the movie, you see her live out her life, selling parts for small amounts of money and living a meager life. We see her fight off other scavengers trying to steal her findings, showing she can fend for herself.
Rey lives in an abandoned AT-AT by herself, although a small village is in walking distance. One day, we see Rey visit the village to meet with Lor San Teeka. Teeka greets Rey as if he’s known her for years. Rey loves to listen to Tekka’s stories of the Jedi, the Force, and the Empire and Darth Vader. We find Tekka is well versed in the history of the Jedi, and mentions he help Luke Skywalker form a new Jedi Order. Its apparent he’s not force sensitive, however he explains he studies the Force and has helped force sensitives achieve their potential. Rey shows Tekka her progress in using the Force, by moving a cup from one side of the table to the other. Tekka is impressed, however, he cautions her not use her powers in public for fear of persecution. He explains they live in age where force users are not welcome by the general public and even hunted down and executed.

Cut to the Resistance Base, where General Leia Organa is sitting at the head of a long table with other Resistance leaders. Kor Sella is standing next to General Organa, listening to the meeting. Leia explains she’s received intelligence that the First Order has somehow amassed a large army in the unknown regions, and they could strike at my minute. Her feeling is the First Order is trying to terrorize the Republic to create chaos and fear throughout the galaxy. The other leaders agree. Admiral Ackbar explains they’ve tried to warn the Republic of the threat; however, the Republic’s position on military action is reactionary. Ackbar says we must use the Resistance to counter the First Order threat before they attack, regardless of what the Republic says. The leaders agree and the meeting is over. Leia tells Sella to go to Hosnian Prime to speak with the leaders of the Republic, and tell them if the Republic will not take this threat seriously, the Resistance will take military action.

Cut to night on Jakku where Rey is eating in the village, when an X-Wing approaches. Out come Poe and BB-8. Rey curiously watches him walk around the village asking for Lor San Tekka, and its hinted she’s attracted to him. Rey runs to Tekka’s home and informs him a pilot is looking for him; Tekka greets the pilot and invites him into his home. Tekka tells Rey to wait outside…Rey hides near a window, where she can see and hear the conversation. Poe explains he’s from the Resistance, a new military unit of the Republic. They’ve encountered a new military threat that has been lurking in the unknown regions of the galaxy, and they have intelligence they may be planning a big attack. Poe explains he’s been sent by General Leia Organa to find the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker to help the Resistance with this new threat. Tekka is taken aback, and explains he hasn’t heard from Luke Skywalker in years. Tekka explains Luke’s Jedi Order was destroyed by one of the pupils and he disappeared. Luke may have retreated to a planet where the First Jedi Temple was erected. Tekka gives the supposed location to Poe via map on a hard drive. Poe stores it in BB-8. Poe thanks Tekka for the information, and heads back to his X-Wing.


Suddenly, the First Order arrives at the village. The attacks plays out the same as the movie, except Rey and BB-8 hide from the First Order and watch the invasion of village. Kylo Ren captures Poe and Tekka. Kylo confronts Tekka, and sarcastically says he’s found the “great” Lor San Tekka. Tekka is defiant and is confused on how Ren knows his name. Ren doesn’t address the confusion and continues to lead the army. However, Tekka yells to Ren “the light side of the force always overcomes the dark.” Kylo slowly turns around; you can feel his anger is swelling. Ren tells Tekka the light is for the weak, and that’s why you’re kneeling before me.” Tekka, again defiant, says you will fail, like all the dark lords in history, whoever you are. Ren’s angers swells even more, and he tells Tekka his allegiance to the light side of the force will cause his demise, and that he’s “the one who got away.” Tekka is dumbstruck, then seems to realize who Kylo Ren is. In a murderous rage, Kylo Ren then cuts down Tekka with his lightsaber . Rey watches in horror as Tekka is murdered and quietly runs away with BB-8. Kylo Ren senses a disturbance in the force and orders the army to burn down the entire village. The village is burned, and Kylo and his army take Poe back to the Finalizer. However, one Stormtrooper is found hiding and did not return with the others, completely shaken at the actions of the army who murdered innocents. The Stromtrooper removes his helmet and tries to help any of the survivors.

 

Sounds like the making a prologue animated rather than a re-write.

 

I just feel these scenes should have been included in the movie. The movie was missing true drama, because none of the scenes were setup properly. In the movie, you never truly feel the tension with Hux and Ren. These guys are power hungry villains leading a new army. There has to be infighting and mistrust. Above,you get a clear idea of who the Resistance is, why they exist, and the Republic's stance on military action. Also, forget this "myth" stuff, Luke should be a legend. Tekka is the perfect one to explain what happened to Rey, and he shows her she's destined for greater things. In the movie, Rey just gets thrown in the battle, and her character is never established enough to bond with her. Also, if Rey witnesses her friend's death and the villages destruction the audience begins to feel something with her.

 

No. The film is great, leave it alone and stop being so sad.

 

After the First Order leaves, Rey and BB-8 run to help the survivors. Rey finds Tekka, barely hanging on to life. He tells Rey the dark side is threatening the balance of the Force. He further explains the Force is strong with her, and she can use the droid to find Luke Skywalker. Rey asks who did this to him, and Tekka says “a man of great importance…” then Tekka stops talking and dies.

Rey doesn’t know what to do; she’s never even left the planet. Rey sees a Stormtrooper with his helmet off. She slowly grabs her staff and prepares to attack. He pounces on him, easily taking him down. The Stormtrooper yells and explains he’s here to help. Rey doesn’t believe him and beats him more. The Stormtrooper tries to reason with Rey, saying he purposely stayed behind to help the survivors. Rey stops fighting him, and the Stormtroopers goes back to attending a victim. Rey doesn’t trust him completely, but she lets him help the victims.

Cut to the Finalizer, where Poe is being interrogated. The scene plays out the same in the movie, where Ren’s force powers allow him to enter Poe’s mind. Ren gets the Republic headquarters and secrets. Ren also learns of the Resistance, and how their planning to attack the First Order. More importantly to Ren, he finds Poe’s droid has a map which can lead to Luke Skywalker. Ren reports the findings to Hux. Hux tells Ren the Resistance’s actions can delay their grand plans, and their attack must occur sooner than planned. Hux then asks Ren if that’s all he’s learned from Poe. Ren tells Hux, yes, purposely leaving out the Luke Skywalker information.

Cut to day on Jakku. Rey is back in her AT-AT, pondering what to do next. She tells BB-8 she can’t leave, she’s not ready. Rey sees the left behind Stormtrooper walks toward the AT-AT. Rey, still unsure of the Stormtroopers motivation, tells him to leave. The Stormtrooper reiterates he wants to help…he’s left the only life he’s ever known. Rey, beginning to trust him, tells him to come in and gives him water. Rey asks what his name is…he replies the same in the movie...Finn. She asks where he comes from, and he explains he’s been bred to be trooper since he was young. He asks Rey the same question, and explains she’s been on Jakku for all her life. Parents were killed at an early age, and Lor San Tekka and the village took her in and helped raised her. She explains now everything she’s ever known is lost. Finn says me too, and they share a moment.

Cut to the Finalizer, where Capitan Phasma is counting the troopers. She finds a trooper missing, and realizes it was Finn. The report on Finn is that he shown compassion in his testing, and they believe he could have betrayed the First Order. Phasma orders the troopers to return to Jakku and perform a ground assault to capture or kill Finn. Finn face is shown on a monitor and he’s now labeled a fugitive.

Rey and Finn awake in the morning, they hear sounds outside. They both see Stormtroopers combing the area, searching for Finn. Finn is terrified, says their looking for me. Rey tells him to keep calm; they’ll find a way out of this. Rey readies her speeder, and tells Finn to get on, they’ll make a break for it. Finn says 'Hello No", but Rey grabs Finn and BB-8 and pulls them on the speeder and takes off! The Stormtroopers see the speeder blast out of the AT-AT, and they retreat to their speeders.

Rey ,Finn and BB-8 are moving fast around Jakku. Finn screams to Rey where are we going? Rey tells him we need a place to hide. The Stormtroopers are quickly approaching and blasting at Rey’s speeder. In the distance, they see a spaceport. Rey maneuvers the speeder like a pro and avoid the blasters. As she’s approaching the space port, a Stormtroopers blasts her speeder, causing it to malfunction, wobble and crash into the ground. Rey, Finn & BB-8 slide 50 feet into the spaceport. Unhurt, they get up and try to find a place to hide. Finn tells Rey we need to get a ship and get leave this planet. Rey sees the Millennium Falcon’s door open, and tells Finn she knows that ship. The Stormtroopers blast at the trio again, and they make a run for the Falcon. They enter the ship, and Finn tells Rey he can’t fly this thing. Rey tells Finn shes’s played in this ship her entire life, but she’s never actually flown it! The Stormtroopers are approaching the Falcon, and finally Rey figures out how to fly the Falcon. The flying is extremely amateurish, and initially the Falcon can't get off the ground. As in the movie, it crashes everywhere, until Rey gets it stable and it blasts off the planet.


Cut to the Finalizer, where Kylo Ren walks into a dark room. A video screen turns on, however the feed is scrambled. Kylo Ren contacts the Supreme Leader, but video screen still scrambled. A menacing voice can be heard. Ren explains he found a droid that knows the location of Luke Skywalker. Further, he explains the Resistance is attempting to contact Luke to help fight against their cause. The Supreme Leader says Luke is a threat to their operation, and the Resistance must not find Luke Skywalker. Ren says Hux doesn’t believe Luke can alter their plans and believes the search for Luke is useless. The Supreme Leader, whose voice is starting to scramble, tells Ren he’ll deal with Hux. The Supreme Leader tells Ren he must confront and destroy Skywalker, but do not underestimate him and even Ren hasn’t faced such a test. Ren accepts the Supreme Leaders order and the feed cuts out.