Beyond Three New Sailor Senshi (crossover with Sailor Moon) Rewrite started. Link on page 50.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by RK_Striker_JK_5, Oct 28, 2003.

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  1. Jaded_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2001
    star 4
    I can't believe you didn't jump on the fact that I intorduced Makoto's grandfather!

    What, and be a conformist?! [face_mischief] ;) :p



    And Yoshimitsu's his family name.

    [face_plain] Uh... right. Duh. [face_blush]



    I was driving...copious amounts of money into my bank accounts.

    *wince* Ouch. Bummer. If it's not one thing it's another, ne? At least it wasn't as bad as it could've been. Just got my car's water pump replaced, though that is rather infinitesimal compared to your current problems. I hope it gets sorted out well and soon. [:D] Good news on my end, though. We've heard from the few aquaintences in N.O. we were worried about and they're just fine. Though my aunt went to her house and... well, with all the mold everywhere it looked about as fuzzy as the white rabbit's parlor. [face_sick] ;) And now we have Houston relatives to worry about... *sigh* Ah well. Good times... ^_^;



    The Jedi walked up to the elevator and telekinetically pressed the button, making sure the doors were open by the time he got there.

    That's useful. I often walk rather fast with long strides, and it irritates the heck out of me when the automatic doors don't open in time. It "throws off my groove", so to speak. ;) Just listen to me. What a spoiled baby. The automatic doors don't open fast enough... I mean, geez! People are starving all over the world and what am I griping about? Not having to wait a half second longer rather than opening a door manually. Oi. -_-;;;



    Her green eyes, a perfect match for Kyp?s, looked over the fettuccini alfredo and smiled.

    All right. Out with it. Where did Kyp hide the take-out boxes... ;)



    Very cute dialog, Striker. And kudos to Mako-chan to remind Kyp about Ami. She deserves it! ^_^


    (Sorry my reply's not longer, but if I linger here in my current condition, I shall collapse comatose upon my laptop keyboard and send a post full of nonsense like ,kughfpoiahurfafozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz or something of the like. So...) Up! :D
  2. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Sword_of_SPEA-Thank you. It was a nice loaner, but I do like my car better. And thanks, I like their interaction too.

    Lady_Jade-No, it doesn't. And yeah, he cooks.

    princess_melissa-Thank you. *Replaces hubcaps*

    Jaded_Girl-Heh. Well, since I didn't conform in high school, I'll let you off-this time. ;) And hey, we all have to be a bit spoiled on occasion. And don't worry, Ami will get paid.

    All right, the dealership actually fixed my car and got it back to me Friday afternoon! Kudos to the team at Toyota Dealership on Dover Point Road in Dover NH!

    Here we go!

    *****

    The next day, Kyp stopped by his office and checked his answering machine. There was a message from Ami on his answering machine. ?Master Durron, I?ve analyzed the tire tracks and have found them belonging to a custom limousine. They?re heavy-duty tread and bulletproof. Only one company makes this type of limo, so tracking it should be relatively easy.? Kyp smiled, then walked out, closing and locking the door behind him. He walked across the hall to another door and opened it. It took his eyes a second to adjust from the darkened hallway to the brightness inside Makoto?s bakery.

    He quickly spotted Makoto through the Force. The brunette Senshi was still in the back, getting a wedding cake ready. The cashier waved to him, recognizing from previous visits. He waved back and rocked back and forth on his heels. Within a few minutes, Makoto emerged from the back. She had changed from her chef clothes into a green knee-length dress and black sweatshirt. Makoto walked over and tilted her head up, kissing Kyp. ?Ready??

    The Jedi Master chuckled and wiped a bit of flour from her nose. ?I am, are you sure you are?? She scowled and batted at his arm, but her brown eyes twinkled a bit. She threaded her arm around his muscular arm and the two walked out of the bakery. In front, Makoto cocked an eyebrow at the blue-haired med student parked in front. ?And what are you doing here, Ami?? Ami tilted her head to the side, closed her eyes and smiled. ?I just thought you?d need a ride to your grandfather?s house. And I can analyze the video discs there.?

    The genius opened the door for Makoto and let her take the passenger seat, but Kyp sprinted around to the driver?s side and held the door open for Ami. ?Thank you, Master Durron!? she said, curtsying. Kyp waved her off. ?Ami, stop calling me ?Master?. You?re a Senior Jedi Knight now. Call me Kyp.? Ami?s cheeks turned red and she stammered a bit. ?Y-yes, Kyp.? Both Makoto and Kyp exchanged looks of incredulity, but said nothing.

    The drive over was relatively uneventful, although Kyp kept glancing down at the nylon seatbelts holding him in place. ?So, these things are safe, right?? Ami arched an eyebrow at that. ?Mast-Kyp, you flew through space at speeds unimagined on Earth while being held in place by such webbing.? He shrugged. ?Yeah, but that was in space, not on some asphalt road with actual wheels.? He glanced down at the floor. ?How do they not shred themselves??

    Several silent minutes later, Ami?s Corolla pulled up to the front gate of Lee?s mansion. She rolled down the window and pressed the intercom button. ?This is Mizuno Ami for Kyp Durron. We are here to see Yoshimistu Lee.? The gate slowly creaked open and Ami drove up to the huge mansion. She let out a gasp as she saw the manicured lawns and the fountain. ?Makoto, you never told us about this!? The brunette slid down into her seat and smiled nervously. ?Well, it never came up. Besides, how do you think I lived by myself all those years??

    The three exited the car just as Makoto?s grandfather exited the mansion. He took one look at Makoto, then turned to Kyp. ?You didn?t tell me you were bringing her along.? he stated with just a hint of anger. Kyp saw through his ruse through the Force and chuckled. ?I figured I?d surprise you.? Lee held his mouth in a straight line for a beat before he grinned and patted Kyp on the shoulder. ?I knew I liked you.? He then turned to the most important person in his life and hugged her. ?Oh, y
  3. Jaded_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2001
    star 4
    All right, the dealership actually fixed my car and got it back to me Friday afternoon! Kudos to the team at Toyota Dealership on Dover Point Road in Dover NH!

    Whoo hoo! Yay for them! Yay for you! *opens open a bottle of N/A champagne with a surprisingly loud "POP!"* *cork bounces off the low ceiling and hits her on the head* Ouch! :( ;)



    Makoto walked over and tilted her head up, kissing Kyp. ?Ready?? ... The Jedi Master chuckled and wiped a bit of flour from her nose.

    Awww! I just got the cutest visual of this! ^_^ [face_love]



    The drive over was relatively uneventful, although Kyp kept glancing down at the nylon seatbelts holding him in place. ?So, these things are safe, right??...?Yeah, but that was in space, not on some asphalt road with actual wheels.? He glanced down at the floor. ?How do they not shred themselves??

    Too. Cute. :D Big bad ol' Master Durron cowed by a Corolla! [face_laugh] Kudos for reminding us about Kyp still being a bit of a fish out of water!



    Besides, how do you think I lived by myself all those years??

    Well, she DOES like to bargain shop... [face_thinking] :p



    I hope you can do something for poor Yotsuba.? At Kyp?s look of confusion, Lee smiled and shrugged. ?We play bridge on Sundays.?

    Awesome! What a great note to end everything on! :D I also like the "I knew I liked you" line. ^_^



    *sigh* Well, I gotta sign off. I am currently wracked with indecision. I saw one of the Star Wars Unleashed figures at Wal-Mart today... Asajii Ventriss or something like that. (Admit I don't keep up with all the minor Prequel details like I do the classic trilogy and the novels.) I have always admired the feeling of motion in the whole "Unleashed" line. So much, in fact, that the Luke-in-black figure is currently resting in a place of honor on my bookshelf in a very convenient place for me to stare at the excellent likeness of Mark Hamill in adoration... uh, anyway... This new figure has got to be one of the best, right up there with one I have and the Han Solo-running-up-the-Falcon's-ramp one. But- here's the problem- I REALLY need to be good. And I haven't so far this month. Alas, responsibility and frugality have sustained mortal injuries from the brutal and merciless onslaughts sustained at the battle of HalfPriceBookStore. *sigh* But my beloved Luke will look so dashing fighting against this nefarious bad gu... uh, girl. But I promised I'd be good... *siiiigh* :(

    Anyhoo... up! ^_^
  4. princess_melissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Awwwww cute post.

    The drive over was relatively uneventful, although Kyp kept glancing down at the nylon seatbelts holding him in place. ?So, these things are safe, right??...?Yeah, but that was in space, not on some asphalt road with actual wheels.? He glanced down at the floor. ?How do they not shred themselves??

    [face_laugh] Believe it or not I almost forgot he wasn't from Earth.

    Glad your cars fixed. =D= to the team at Toyota Dealership on Dover Point Road in Dover NH!
  5. princess_melissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Awwwww cute post.

    The drive over was relatively uneventful, although Kyp kept glancing down at the nylon seatbelts holding him in place. ?So, these things are safe, right??...?Yeah, but that was in space, not on some asphalt road with actual wheels.? He glanced down at the floor. ?How do they not shred themselves??

    [face_laugh] Believe it or not I almost forgot he wasn't from Earth.

    Glad your cars fixed. =D= to the team at Toyota Dealership on Dover Point Road in Dover NH!
  6. Lady_Jade Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2004
    star 4
    The genius opened the door for Makoto and let her take the passenger seat, but Kyp sprinted around to the driver?s side and held the door open for Ami. ?Thank you, Master Durron!? she said, curtsying. Kyp waved her off. ?Ami, stop calling me ?Master?. You?re a Senior Jedi Knight now. Call me Kyp.? Ami?s cheeks turned red and she stammered a bit. ?Y-yes, Kyp.?

    [face_laugh] Oh, that's Ami for you. Always trying to be polite and proper.


    Makoto beamed as she hugged Lee, but a thread of doubt tugged at her. He?s so frail! Will this be the last time I see him?

    Kyp?s voice sounded in her head. As long as you remember him, Lee will never truly be gone. And someday you?ll be reunited in the Force. She glanced back at him and locked eyes with him. Thank you, Kyp, she sent to him through the Force.


    Awwwwww!!! [face_love] He's so understanding!!!!


    So....do we get to see the tapes???
  7. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Jaded_Girl-Ouch! *Stops cork from hitting her head* Yeah, that was meant to be cute. And don't get Asajj! That's the ugliest Unleashed figure I've seen. Be good, Jaded_Girl. Trust me on this one.

    princess_melissa-Thanks. And I figured I showed him fitting in a bit too well. And kudos to those guys, yeah.

    Lady_Jade-Yeah. That's why she's my favorite. And we'll see the tapes... and more

    All right. I don't know why, but I did it. I finished this story arc-and thus, the entire fic. It is done. This is the second to last story-related Three New Sailor Senshi post.

    The next post will have author notes and a huge survey. But for now, let just marvel in having finished this...

    ...

    ...

    Here we go!

    *****

    Ami stepped forward and took the case. She then bowed and spoke. ?Sir, I thank you for these. I swear on my oath as-? A mental warning from both Makoto and Kyp caused her to gasp. ?-As? A Tokyo University student that we will find Chiyo-Chan.? She turned and speed-walked away from the others, face burning red. Lee arched an eyebrow at her. ?She?s an odd one?? He then turned to Makoto and took her hand. ?Well, let?s get caught up.?

    Kyp looked back at Ami and then at Makoto and Lee. He cleared his throat and pointed at the retreating Ami. ?I?d better go help her out.? He leaned down and kissed Makoto on the cheek. ?I?ll see you later,? He said before turning and leaving. Lee looked up at Makoto. ?He loves you, but he?s not aware of how deeply he loves you.? Makoto turned her green eyes back to Lee and let out a small sigh. ?I think you?re right, Lee-san. I see something in his eyes, but there?s something in his past as well. I don?t know what it is, though.? Lee?s heart went out for her. ?He?ll come around. I?m sure of it.?

    At the car, Ami opened the case and gingerly removed the first disc. She placed her mini-computer on the roof of the car and used the Force to open it up. ?I programmed my computer to scan for Chiyo-Chan?s face.? She placed the disc into the opened CD-ROM tray and closed it. A soft whirring emanated from the blue case as the internal scanner read the data on the disc. The viewscreen showed a rapid-fire montage of images. Finally, it stopped and began playing at normal speed. A video of Chiyo-Chan skipping down the sidewalk was shown. Kyp felt a lump in his throat form as he saw a black limo pull up alongside the young teenager.

    Rough hands reached out and pulled her in before the limo sped away. Although it only took a few seconds, Kyp knew that to Chiyo-Chan, it must?ve been an eternity. Suddenly, he half-shouted. ?Freeze!? Ami?s hands danced across the keyboard and the image froze. Most of the limo was out of the shot, but the license plate had been partially exposed. Ami bit her lip in concentration. ?I think I can enhance the image.? The shot of the limo?s rear expanded, turning grainier in the process. A small box appeared around the license plate and it began clearing up, forming itself into several numbers. Kyp licked his lips. ?Can you get an address on that limo?? he asked. Ami silently nodded and began hacking into the DMV.

    Kyp looked up and ran over to Makoto and Lee. ?We?ve got a license plate. Ami?s running it down.? Makoto clenched her fist and scowled. ?We must find the scum responsible for this!? Kyp?s mouth dropped in surprise. ? ?We??? The brunette nodded, her green eyes narrowing. ?Don?t think you can keep me out of this, Kyp. You need me for this one.? The Jedi master glanced at Lee, but the old man simply shook his head. ?Once Makoto gets an idea into her head, there?s no stopping her.?

    Ami suddenly ran over. ?I?ve got an address!? She turned her computer around so Kyp and Makoto could see it. ?It is owned by a member of the Yakuza. And guess what? He owns an old warehouse down at Tokyo Bay!? Kyp and Makoto both looked up into each other?s eyes. I saw her in a warehouse. She?s there! Makoto looked back down and patted Ami on the shoulder. ?Nice job, Ami.? She looked back at her grandfather and hugged him. ?I have to go, now.? She s
  8. princess_melissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    *snags first reply*

    Oh that was a wonderful ending

    Any suggestions on how to proceed? This is more your area than ours. The Guardian shrugged. I?ll distract them. You then break into the front door and start shooting. Jupiter audibly gasped. ?Wait, Kyp!?
    [face_laugh] That's definatally in character

    Kyp took the case of 500,000 yen and swallowed
    *low wistle* that's alot of yen. do you know about how many yen are to the American dollar?

    ?Nice job, Kyp. Now I remember why I love you so much.? Kyp turned his head and locked his green eyes with Makoto?s identical orbs. ?You love me?? Ami discretely made her way to the exit while Makoto arched an eyebrow at him. ?Ah, yeah. What, you did-? She stopped talking as Kyp suddenly grasped her shoulders and pulled her in for a soul-searing kiss. Surprise melted into joy as Makoto returned the kiss. For an eternity, both stood there, their lips locked. Finally, Kyp broke it off. ?I love you, too.?
    [face_love] Awwwwww [face_love]

    ?Yeah. Hey, wanna hear a joke? Me as a great father. I still can?t believe it.?
    [face_laugh]

    Jaina thrust her right hand out to the middle of the table. ?For love and justice.?

    Tenel Ka followed suit. ?We are the pretty sailor-suited soldiers.?

    Tahiri also followed suit. ?In the name of the Moon, and the Force??

    Jaina, Tahiri and Tenel Ka all shouted. ?We?ll punish you!?
    The End


    :_| I loved the ending it was so perfect.


    =D= I have enjoyed this whole fic even though I only joined in near the end. I hope to be able to read more of your stories in the future.
  9. Lady_Jade Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2004
    star 4
    They resuced Chiyo-Chan!!!!! [face_dancing] Yay for Kyp; he solved his first case!!!! :D


    ?Who-who are you?? She asked. The three were visible to her, but only in silhouette. Details were obscured by the fog. Jupiter placed a hand on her hip and thrust her right hand out, fingers in a victory pose. ?Warriors for love and justice, we are the pretty sailor-suited Senshi! Sailor Jupiter!? Mercury sidled up to the taller brunette and posed. ?And Sailor Mercury! With Tuxedo Deyer, we are the guardians of Tokyo!? Deyer pulled out a silver rose and held it up to his nose, sniffing it. ?We shall clean out the criminal element and save the innocent. In the name of the Moon and the Force,? all three stood up straight and half-shouted. ?We?ll punish the enemy!?

    [face_plain] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Oh my goddness!!!!!!! Can't.....breathe...laughing...too hard...... ;)

    Jaina thrust her right hand out to the middle of the table. ?For love and justice.?

    Tenel Ka followed suit. ?We are the pretty sailor-suited soldiers.?

    Tahiri also followed suit. ?In the name of the Moon, and the Force??

    Jaina, Tahiri and Tenel Ka all shouted. ?We?ll punish you!?


    Awesome ending Striker. Though I can't beleive it's really over! :_|


    I'm sure the last post is going to be beyond spectacular!! Can't wait.


  10. Sword_of_SPEA Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 14, 2005
    star 1
    :_| I'm so sad it's over, I kinda joined near the end (johnny come lately) but I loved reading it all!!

    I loved Kyp's detective story!! I loved the line about not trusting cars, silly Kyp.

    And the end...I sniffled, just a bit.
  11. Jaded_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2001
    star 4
    And don't get Asajj! That's the ugliest Unleashed figure I've seen. Be good, Jaded_Girl. Trust me on this one.

    But... :( I trust you don't mean her face, 'cause yeah, she's pretty ugly. ("Pretty" ugly... hee hee!) It's just... her arms and shoulders... the folds in her dress as her knee thrusts forward... She looks so cool in the box! Is it one of those that look worse out of the box? Or are you just talking about her placing First in the Nal Hutta Ugly Contest? :confused:



    All right. I don't know why, but I did it. I finished this story arc-and thus, the entire fic. It is done. This is the second to last story-related Three New Sailor Senshi post.

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :_| :_| :_| :_| :_|




    The next post will have author notes and a huge survey. But for now, let just marvel in having finished this...

    Yay! *still can't quite dance yet, 'cause she's still a bit depressed, but is greatly looking forward to the survey*

    But still... you coming so far IS a marvel... [face_hypnotized]



    Here we go!
    ...Is this the last time I get to say this?! :(



    ?Sir, I thank you for these. I swear on my oath as-? A mental warning from both Makoto and Kyp caused her to gasp. ?-As? A Tokyo University student that we will find Chiyo-Chan.? She turned and speed-walked away from the others, face burning red. Lee arched an eyebrow at her. ?She?s an odd one??

    This was awesome! Too funny! [face_laugh]



    Lee looked up at Makoto. ?He loves you, but he?s not aware of how deeply he loves you.?

    Yeah, that'd be about right... -_-; ^_^;;;



    Makoto clenched her fist and scowled. ?We must find the scum responsible for this!? Kyp?s mouth dropped in surprise. ? ?We???

    Whoo! Kyp, time to beat a hasty retreat, I think.



    Kyp bowed to him and spoke. ?I swear that I shall die before letting harm come to Makoto.? Lee waved him off. ?If you die, you?ll cause harm to her heart and soul!? Kyp slowly straightened himself out and paused before speaking. ?Oh. Well? okay.? He, Ami and Makoto exchanged a glance and nodded simultaneously. ?Let?s get that kid back home.?

    Mako- and Ami-chan are right. There's just nothing to say after that comment. :D



    A silver rose formed in his hand and his street clothes changed into a tuxedo, complete with flowing cape, top hat and mask over his eyes. Makoto and Ami both hefted their transformation wands and shouted.
    ?Mercury Star Power Makeup!?
    ?Jupiter Star Power Makeup!?


    *shakes head* The Yazuka won't know what hit 'em... -_-;



    Mercury wrinkled her nose and sighed. ?Oh, it?ll take me a week to get the ozone smell out!?

    Bwa-ha!!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]



    She opened the door and leapt out, rolling a bit before coming up in a crouch with the two blades extended. Mercury and Deyer simply opened their doors, closed them and walked over.

    *see above reaction* I'm half expecting them to burst in and find the Yazuka playing cards!



    The Guardian shrugged. I?ll distract them. You then break into the front door and start shooting. Jupiter audibly gasped. ?Wait, Kyp!?

    :eek: :mad: WHAT AN IDIOT!!!!! ARGH! :oops: Secure the hostage first and ensure that no fire gets launched at her ans then you can kick butt you MORON!!! *starts shaking Kyp like this:*

    [image=http://www.prose-n-poetry.com/images/anime/senshi_pairs/Senshi_Pairs-5449.jpg]



    Deyer stepped through the hole and fell to the floor. Using the Force to cushion his fall, he landed and brandished his lightsaber. ?Halt, evil ones! Your crimes have-whoa!? He dodged to the right even as a thug raised his shotgun and fired, sending a cloud of lead his way.

    I am abruptly reminded of Vash the Stampede... ;)



    The thugs were immediately blinded and began stumbling around, unable to fire for fear of hitting each other. Deyer, Jupiter
  12. ladylaurel18 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 12, 2005
    star 4
    Hey, Striker. I really liked it - it just got better as you kept writing.

    I'll post a true review later, once I figure out how to cover all that without taking an entire page. Or two. :p

    Congrats, and great job, striker!

    =D= [face_dancing] =D=
  13. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    princess_melissa-Thank you. not sure on current conversion rates. And glad you liked the ending. I ahd something like that in mind for a while.

    Lady_Jade-Well, of course! No way I'd let Chiyo-Chan stay kidnapped. And I can't believe it's over either.

    Sword_of_SPEA-Well, I'm glad you read and replied. And I sniffled a lot.

    Jaded_Girl-She's ugly, and you need to be good! I haven't seen her out of the box, but she's just nasty looking. And come on, you knew I was ending this thing soon. No need for tears. No, they didn't know what hit them. And that pic is exactly how I'd imagine Kyp and Makoto to be like sometimes. And no, some things never change. Wish the NJO remembered that...

    ladylaurel18-Thank you! Stick around, though. Author notes and a survey are next. And I don't mind if you use up a page or two for replies.

    Like I said, author notes and a survey are in the next post. Up!
  14. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Well, here it is. The final story-related post of Three New Sailor Senshi. Quite a ride, eh?

    For the last time...

    Here we go!

    Author notes

    I'd like to thank everyone who posted in this fic:

    EmilieDarklighter, Trickster_Jaina_Fel, MoonChild, JediStarMoonstruck, -Tenel-Ka-, Agent_Jaid, maramijade, Dalsy2025, Jaded_Girl, Tenel_Ka_Index, Nerine_Halcyon, Mistress_Renata, Lady_Jade, SilSolo, Ylesly, Jedi_Bubbles, StarNeptune, PunkRockRebelTKDjo, Ryalm, skywalker64089, Rose_Skywalker, Sailor Naboo, C3P0_R2D2, green_eyes, princess_melissa, mabus_7, Swrd_of_SPEA, DarthIshtar, Jadie, DaenaBenjen42, DanaShields4, ladylaurel18.

    *Striker bows to all his readers*

    I began typing this monster on August 25, 2002. it was in response to a simple question from a friend of mine, John Cardin. "What would Tenel Ka look like in a Sailor Fuku?" It spawned 13 story arcs over the course of over 3 years. All in all, the fic totaled 325,436 words over 1,028 pages in 12 font and double-spaced. Here is each one and a summary:

    #1: Three New Sailor Senshi: The Rock Dragon crashes through a hole in hyperspace and lands in Tokyo in 2002. They meet the Senshi three of them gain powers themselves.

    #2: Awaken the Power! The Sailor Jedi's Arrival!: An old enemy of Luke's returns in a quest of ultimate power. Meanwhile, Tenel Ka must struggle with mastering the new powers she has gained.

    #3: Brakiss Lives? The Search for More Sailor Jedi Begins!: Brakiss and Tamith Kai return with cloned Jedi and Sith in a final bid for power. But the larger struggle is one that will reveal the true destiny of Jaina and her friends.

    #4: Chaos unsealed? The Sailor Jedi Return to Tokyo!: Chaos has once more possessed Galaxia, and the Sailor Jedi are needed to help stop the menace before Earth is destroyed.

    #5: Crystal Alderaan: A brief glimpse into Crystal Alderaan's future.

    #6: Memories of a Time Gone By: Jaina has a vision of her former life as the origin of the Sailor Jedi is revealed.

    #7: Reforging of the Sith? The Rebirth of Earth and Alderaan!: The Calaveras shell becomes the new Dark Lord of the Sith and unleashes the Charonian Horde upon the GFFA and Earth. Both Alderaan and Earth are reborn as Usagi and Jaina fuflfill their destinies.

    #8: She Said What? THe Wedding of the Firefly and the Knight!: Anakin and Hotaru get married and hijinks result.

    #9: The Final Test: Conquer the Darkness Within: A flashback to 2004 and the Sailor Senshi's final Jedi trial.

    #10: Tionne's Journey: Tionne goes on a spiritual journy and learns of her family.

    #11: Destruction of Corellia? Jaina Solo?s Trial!: Corellia-and Jaina are both threatened by solar flares. can she heal the star? And what of her relationship with Zekk?

    #12: Will They Succeed? The Next Generation Stands Tall!: A look into the life of Serena Solo, Jaina and Zekk's daughter in the year 3014. Can she get Zeth to go to the prom with her?

    #13: Chiyo-chan Kidnapped? Kyp?s First Big Case!: Kyp gets his first big break as a detective when Hotaru's former classmate Chiyo-Chan is kidnapped.

    *****

    Characters

    Here's a probably incomplete dramatis personae of everyone who's been in this fic.

    Jaina Solo: Sailor Corellia
    Tenel Ka: Sailor Dathomir
    Tahiri Veila: Sailor Tatooine
    Lusa: Sailor Chiron
    Tionne: Sailor Yavin
    Sannah: Sailor Melodie/Sailor Neo-Pluto
    Mara Jade Skywalker: Sailor Coruscant
    Leia Organa Solo: Sailor Alderaan
    Anja Gallandro: Sailor Bespin
    Sarji Pellaeon: Sailor Bastion
    Mirax Horn: Sailor Errant Venture
    Sahada Du'kal: Sailor Emberlene
    Raaba: Sailor Kashyyyk

    Zekk Solo: Tuxedo Ennth
    Jacen Solo: Tuxedo Hapes
    Anakin Solo: Tuxedo Titan
    Raynar Thul: Tuxedo Bornaryn
    Kam Solusar
    Luke Skywalker: Tuxedo Jedi
    Han Solo: Tuxedo Aldera
    Miko Reglia: Tuxedo Phobos
    Corran Horn: Tuxedo CorSec
    Kyp Durron: Tuxedo Deyer
    Chiba Mamoru: Tuxedo Mask
    Urawa Ryo: Tuxedo Hermes
    Lowbacca: Tuxedo Katarn

    Tsuskino Usagi: Sailor Moon
    Mizuno Ami: Sailor Mercury
    Hino Rei: Sailor Mars
    Kino Makoto: Sailor Jupiter
    Ai
  15. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    *Bump*

    Please? Someone? Anyone?
  16. princess_melissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Sorry It took me so long. I actually did it this afternoon but got disconnected three questions from the end of the survey (which took me like a half an hour to do) so I had to go back and do it again later. Hope this helps.


    I began typing this monster on August 25, 2002. it was in response to a simple question from a friend of mine, John Cardin. "What would Tenel Ka look like in a Sailor Fuku?" It spawned 13 story arcs over the course of over 3 years. All in all, the fic totaled 325,436 words over 1,028 pages in 12 font and double-spaced.

    =D= That's just amazing


    All righty here we go...

    Survey

    I told you this one would be massive...

    A few general questions, then a few for each arc. Please take these seriously. I use them to help better my writing.

    1. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Jar Jar, the NJO and the Crystal Star and 10 being Zahn-written Mara, the YJK and Heir to the Empire, how would you rate this fic?
    I give you a 9. This fic is absolutally amazing and kept me coming back time and time again. Don't be offended my the 9. I don't even give 10's to profesional authors.

    2. Were there any characters you wanted to see more of?
    Jaina is my favorite Charactor in Star Wars and there was pleny of her. Makoto is my favorite in Sailor Moon and though we dind't get to see her as much in first part of the story, the last story arc had her as basically a main character

    3. Were there any characters you wanted to see?
    *looks up at character list* no I think you covered everyone and his brother ;)

    4. Did any characters seem overexposed?
    [face_thinking] I don't think so

    5. How was my action?
    I loved your action. I can't write action and was absolutally amazed at yours

    6. How was my romance?
    You had pleny of romance in it. WIth them all getting married and even after they got married I think it went well (not too mushy, which is good if you ask me)

    7. How was my humor?
    I'm the wrong person to ask. I have a very weird sence of humor and laugh at most anything therefore I laughed all the time during your fic but that might be just me

    8. How was my angst/drama?
    OH good! you had me sitting on the edge of my seat wondering if Zeth would ask Serina to the prom ;) Seriously though. It was good.

    9. Did the two universes mesh properly? Could you see the scenes in your mind actually happening?
    Yeah I actually could.

    10. Please write a reaction post to the very first post of this fic.
    My first reaction was "wow!" Once that was over I started wondering where in the world (or rather galaxy) I started reading this fic because it combined two of my favorite things, Star Wars and Sailor Moon. But if your writing wasn't good, I didn't intend to stay so Good Job for keeping me interested
    (Not quite what the question asked for but it's kinda hard since I don't remember everything in detail that happened and I already know what's going to happen)


    11. Was there any way for me to get more readers for this fic?
    I think it's just that not many appreciate Sailor Moon. If more would realize how good it actually is than you would have alot more readers.

    12. Please tell me what you liked about the fic.
    I loved the whole story arc. It was really like something that would happen in Sailor Moon or a Star Wars book. Also I liked your writing style.

    13. Please tell me what you thought could use improvement.
    Sometimes the chapters were so short. I would be like "yes an update" and it'd be only a couple of paragraphs. YOu made up for that by posting often but still it would be nice to have longer posts sometimes (the last one was a surprise because it was reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaallllllllly long)

    14. Please finish this, with as many as you can think of. 'You know you're reading a fic by
  17. Lady_Jade Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2004
    star 4
    Survey

    I told you this one would be massive...

    A few general questions, then a few for each arc. Please take these seriously. I use them to help better my writing.

    1. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Jar Jar, the NJO and the Crystal Star and 10 being Zahn-written Mara, the YJK and Heir to the Empire, how would you rate this fic?

    I'd have to give this fic a...10, honestly. Cuz this fic rocked!!! :)

    2. Were there any characters you wanted to see more of?

    I would have liked to see more of Mara as Sailor Courasant.

    3. Were there any characters you wanted to see?

    Uh....

    4. Did any characters seem overexposed?

    *thinks* Not that I can think of

    5. How was my action?

    It was awesome! No seriously, I could really visualize the battle scenes. I wish I could write action like you Striker, cuz I really stink at it.

    6. How was my romance?

    Purely romantic!! [face_love]

    7. How was my humor?

    [face_laugh] Hilarious! You have a good sense of humor!

    8. How was my angst/drama?

    Very real. Like when Setsuna and Kam and Tionne died.... :_| I could really feel the other character's grief

    9. Did the two universes mesh properly? Could you see the scenes in your mind actually happening?

    The "meshing" was perfect. All the friends pairs you came up with were so right

    10. Please write a reaction post to the very first post of this fic.

    Holy cow!!! It's a SM/SW fic!

    11. Was there any way for me to get more readers for this fic?

    Well, I'm sure it was possible....but I don't think there are too many SM fans out there

    12. Please tell me what you liked about the fic.

    Well, for one...I loved the crossover part of it. And I also really liked the interaction between the SM ppl and the SW ppl; the pairings you did just fit so much
    13. Please tell me what you thought could use improvement.

    The only really really tiny thing that somewhat kinda bothered me was the paragraph formation. it would have been easier to read if a new paragraph started when someone else started talking, but I didn't mind too much cuz the story was awesome, so I didn't really have room to complain. :)

    14. Please finish this, with as many as you can think of. 'You know you're reading a fic by RK_Striker_JK_5 when:

    It's a crossover, one of the characters is Tenel Ka, when there's a TK/J pairing
    15. Which was your favorite Tenel Ka/Makoto duel?

    Uh....don't make me choose!!! I loved them all!!! Although the one that stands out is when they fight in...i dunno, some kind of workout room, and Makoto grabs the bo off of the wall

    Three New Sailor Senshi:
    16. Did I make Jaedite/Palpatine too powerful?

    I thought his powers were just right for the situation

    17. Did the meeting between the two series seem right?

    Indeed they did!!

    Awaken the Power! The Sailor Jedi's Arrival!:
    18. Did Tenel Ka's fall seem logical?

    It did. I mean, even though she never said it, we all knew she had issues regarding the loss of her arm.

    Brakiss Lives? The Search for More Sailor Jedi Begins!:
    19. Were there any clones you would've liked to see survive?

    Honestly...I don't remember what clones there were. Though if one was of Anakin....it could have been nice to have him at least get a chance to talk to Luke....if he remembered his past of course

    20. Did I make Xim seem too powerful?

    Nope

    Chaos unsealed? The Sailor Jedi Return to Tokyo!:
    21. Did you like Jacen and Tenel Ka's wedding?

    I did indeed!!! "I love weddings; drinks all around!" hehe, sorry, cou
  18. Sword_of_SPEA Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 14, 2005
    star 1
    1. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Jar Jar, the NJO and the Crystal Star and 10 being Zahn-written Mara, the YJK and Heir to the Empire, how would you rate this fic?
    a strong 7, almost eight

    2. Were there any characters you wanted to see more of?
    no, I'm a huge Jaina fan and she definantly had screen time
    3. Were there any characters you wanted to see?
    I think you covered most of them
    4. Did any characters seem overexposed?
    Not of the top of my head
    5. How was my action?
    nice, some people have trouble with action scenes, you're usually left going...eh??
    6. How was my romance?
    good
    7. How was my humor?
    it was reminiscent of the SM Humor
    8. How was my angst/drama?
    I teared up a few times, so that's good
    9. Did the two universes mesh properly? Could you see the scenes in your mind actually happening?
    Yes, I admit it was kinda out there, but it did work
    10. Please write a reaction post to the very first post of this fic.
    Jacen and his pets, they really are the catalysts for everything aren't they?
    11. Was there any way for me to get more readers for this fic?
    I don't have much experiance in fanfic writing, but it seems like readers are hard to come buy. I just noticed it on your sig somewhere, so that obviously worked.
    12. Please tell me what you liked about the fic.
    It was just a real imaginative and innovative idea and I think it worked real well
    13. Please tell me what you thought could use improvement.

    14. Please finish this, with as many as you can think of. 'You know you're reading a fic by RK_Striker_JK_5 when:
    the NJO did not happen (I really think that sums it all up)
    15. Which was your favorite Tenel Ka/Makoto duel?
    the last one, not sure why
    Three New Sailor Senshi:
    16. Did I make Jaedite/Palpatine too powerful?
    no, not for the first baddie they fought
    17. Did the meeting between the two series seem right?
    Yeah, bad guys like to meet each other
    Awaken the Power! The Sailor Jedi's Arrival!:
    18. Did Tenel Ka's fall seem logical?
    Yes, you know people think she's very emotionless and all that CRAP, but there's a lot to her character and she could be a character that falls and you made it for all the 'right' reasons
    Brakiss Lives? The Search for More Sailor Jedi Begins!:
    19. Were there any clones you would've liked to see survive?
    Probably Anakin Skywalker, it would be interesting
    20. Did I make Xim seem too powerful?
    I don't think so
    Chaos unsealed? The Sailor Jedi Return to Tokyo!:
    21. Did you like Jacen and Tenel Ka's wedding?
    I love any J/TK wedding
    Crystal Alderaan:
    22. Would you have liked to see this explored more?
    Yes, it would be something interesting, to see what will happen more
    23. I initially had Tomo and Zeth become the couple. Was it good that I changed it to Serena and Zeth?
    Yeah, yeah it's definantly a good choice
    Memories of a Time Gone By:
    24. Did this seem like filler, or important background info?
    all background info is important, I like it
    Reforging of the Sith? The Rebirth of Earth and Alderaan!:
    25. Did the deaths seem necessary and well-thought out, or were they NJO style 'Oh, he's dead so it's kewl!'
    well thought out...:_|
    26. Were the Charonians effective villians?
    bugs right? *shudder*
    She Said What? THe Wedding of the Firefly and the Knight!:
    27. Was this a funny arc?
    funny and cute
    28. Did you like the romance between Anakin and Hotaru?
    yeah, though I do
  19. C3P0_R2D2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 23, 2005
    star 2
    Uh... I have yet to finish all of the arcs. I'll post the info as I start to finish it up.

    And yes, I pretty much died for a while there, but I'm good now.

    Survey

    I told you this one would be massive...

    A few general questions, then a few for each arc. Please take these seriously. I use them to help better my writing.

    1. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being Jar Jar, the NJO and the Crystal Star and 10 being Zahn-written Mara, the YJK and Heir to the Empire, how would you rate this fic?

    10... Pretty much all your fics are this good.

    2. Were there any characters you wanted to see more of?

    Uh... no.

    3. Were there any characters you wanted to see?

    Uh... no, s'all good.

    4. Did any characters seem overexposed?

    Nope.

    5. How was my action?

    *sighs* how do I always respond? Actiony.

    6. How was my romance?

    Romancy. And appropriately fluffy at times.

    7. How was my humor?

    Humorous.

    8. How was my angst/drama?

    Angsty/Dramatic

    9. Did the two universes mesh properly? Could you see the scenes in your mind actually happening?

    *sighs* I don't know how well they meshed. I wasn't ever very interested in SM. Much more so in DBZ.^_^;

    10. Please write a reaction post to the very first post of this fic.

    ... This looks interesting.

    11. Was there any way for me to get more readers for this fic?

    I don't think so... I know I got thrown off my the SM connection. Other people prolly did too.

    12. Please tell me what you liked about the fic.

    Everything... Except that whole Anakin/Saturn thing... So far as I'm concerned, that was not cool.

    13. Please tell me what you thought could use improvement.

    *coughs* The whole Anakin/Saturn thing... Improvement as in... not there.

    14. Please finish this, with as many as you can think of. 'You know you're reading a fic by RK_Striker_JK_5 when:

    You want to force the YJK writers to read this, and then continue the series. I loved that series.

    15. Which was your favorite Tenel Ka/Makoto duel?

    Uh... First one.

    Three New Sailor Senshi:
    16. Did I make Jaedite/Palpatine too powerful?

    I don't know how strong Jaedite is/was, and I know Palpatine's strong, I'm just not sure how strong. I generally stick the EU.

    17. Did the meeting between the two series seem right?

    Dunno.

    Awaken the Power! The Sailor Jedi's Arrival!:
    18. Did Tenel Ka's fall seem logical?

    Yeah. Losing a hand, then getting it back for hours, then losing it again, that's gonna screw with your mind.

    Brakiss Lives? The Search for More Sailor Jedi Begins!:
    19. Were there any clones you would've liked to see survive?

    I don't think so... I don't remember this arc all too well.

    20. Did I make Xim seem too powerful?

    I don't think so.

    Chaos unsealed? The Sailor Jedi Return to Tokyo!:
    21. Did you like Jacen and Tenel Ka's wedding?

    I liked it, but this is yet again the shipper in me.

    Crystal Alderaan:
    22. Would you have liked to see this explored more?

    I didn't really care all that much.

    23. I initially had Tomo and Zeth become the couple. Was it good that I changed it to Serena and Zeth?

    *blank stare* I apparently need to reread this part of the arc more too.

    Memories of a Time Gone By:
    24. Did this seem like filler, or important background info?

    Didn't read this, will fill in later.

    Reforging of the Sith? The Rebirth of Earth and Alderaan!:
    25. Did the deaths seem necessary and well-thought out, or were they NJO style 'Oh, he's dead so it's kewl!'

    Didn't read this, will fill in later.

    26. Were the Charonians effective villians?

    Didn't read this, will fill in later.

    She Said What? THe Wedding of the Firefly and the Knight!:
    27. Was this a funny arc?

    Didn't read this, will fill in later.

    28. Did you like the romance between Anakin and Hotaru?

    I can tell you this now, I hated it. Hated it with a passion. I stick with the YJK/JJK couples; Anakin/Tahiri, Jacen/TK, Jaina/Zekk

    The Final Test: Conquer the Darkness Within:
    29. Did the experiences make sense?
  20. Jaded_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2001
    star 4
    *grabs Dark Blue before it is taken* Ha ha! :D


    *Bump* Please? Someone? Anyone?

    Oh, come now! Would I leave you hanging? :) AH! THE MOTHER OF ALL AUTHOR NOTES! Why, it deserves the mother of all reader replies! :D


    I'd like to thank everyone who posted in this fic: *Striker bows to all his readers*

    Your're welcome! It was my abundant pleasure and incredible honor! *bows to Striker* :D



    I began typing this monster on August 25, 2002. it was in response to a simple question from a friend of mine, John Cardin. "What would Tenel Ka look like in a Sailor Fuku?" It spawned 13 story arcs over the course of over 3 years. All in all, the fic totaled 325,436 words over 1,028 pages in 12 font and double-spaced.

    Wow. :eek: [face_hypnotized] You are amazing! You beat the original series! :p


    And now, you were kind enough to briefly rehash your plotlines, I shall briefly encompass my reactions!

    #1: Three New Sailor Senshi: The Rock Dragon crashes through a hole in hyperspace and lands in Tokyo in 2002. They meet the Senshi three of them gain powers themselves.

    Great starter series! The Palpatine/Jadeite mash-up was great and tied into the old series well. It was a riot to see everyone interacting. In fact, the only gripe I have is that I just can't see Lusa winning against Haruka in a foot... uh, and hoof... race. But maybe Haruka underestimated and lost thusly. ^_^


    #2: Awaken the Power! The Sailor Jedi's Arrival!: An old enemy of Luke's returns in a quest of ultimate power. Meanwhile, Tenel Ka must struggle with mastering the new powers she has gained.

    Bwa-ha! This was great! The Battle of Luke's Ex-es! [face_laugh] Too cool! Tenel Ka's crisis was well done and in character, and I got the dark satisfaction of reading Luke saying that he never really loved Callista! *cruel and completely unfair Mara-worshipper laugh*


    #3: Brakiss Lives? The Search for More Sailor Jedi Begins!: Brakiss and Tamith Kai return with cloned Jedi and Sith in a final bid for power. But the larger struggle is one that will reveal the true destiny of Jaina and her friends.

    I admit, this is perhaps my favorite series! I just love the clones aspect and how it was so... monster of the day-ish! It was the closest storyline to the Sailor Mooniverse and the otaku in me really appreciates it! Plus cool interaction between all the long dead Jedi and the new ones. ^_^


    #4: Chaos unsealed? The Sailor Jedi Return to Tokyo!: Chaos has once more possessed Galaxia, and the Sailor Jedi are needed to help stop the menace before Earth is destroyed.

    Great series! Luke dies! So sad! And the...uhhhh... ummm... Animates! Yeah, that's what they're called, right? And Merc-chan jumping off that building with the whip and poor Lead Crow's wings... Priceless! Looking back you also said in a post-post commment that "...Tenel Ka will become a Ruroni Kenshin addict and attempt to master the Hiten Mitsiguri style for her lightsaber." Just the merest thought of that causes an ecstatically silly beaming ear-to-ear grin to erupt on my face! :D


    #5: Crystal Alderaan: A brief glimpse into Crystal Alderaan's future.

    A brief and tantalyzing glimpse into the future, but a terrific one nonethesless. Doesn't have the hard-hitting power of some of the others, but it is charming and highly enjoyable!


    #6: Memories of a Time Gone By: Jaina has a vision of her former life as the origin of the Sailor Jedi is revealed.

    Very cool! It was facinating to see their ancestors (and expecially see their talismans... sort of...) The fate of Tattooine and Jaina's thank you were especially moving.


    #7: Reforging of the Sith? The Rebirth of Earth and Alderaan!: The Calaveras shell becomes the new Dark Lord of the Sith and unl
  21. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Replies will be coming tomorrow. Thanks to all who took the survey. Hopefully more will read thie fic and take it. To all that have so far, you rock.[face_peace]

    Oh, and Jaded_Girl. More pictures? You torture me! What will they be? Please, tell me.

    I just might write Kyp and Mako's wedding if you do...

    Well, I won't, but the thought will be there.
  22. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    princess_melissa:

    Sorry It took me so long. I actually did it this afternoon but got disconnected three questions from the end of the survey (which took me like a half an hour to do) so I had to go back and do it again later. Hope this helps.


    No problem, Melissa. And yes, it does.

    3. Were there any characters you wanted to see?
    *looks up at character list* no I think you covered everyone and his brother


    Yeah, I was pretty thorough. I didn't want too many repeats.

    10. Please write a reaction post to the very first post of this fic.
    My first reaction was "wow!" Once that was over I started wondering where in the world (or rather galaxy) I started reading this fic because it combined two of my favorite things, Star Wars and Sailor Moon. But if your writing wasn't good, I didn't intend to stay so Good Job for keeping me interested
    (Not quite what the question asked for but it's kinda hard since I don't remember everything in detail that happened and I already know what's going to happen)


    Well, I was asking for a 'review' of the first post. Simply because none of the readers I had at the beginning stuck around. And I never did get a proper review of it.

    13. Please tell me what you thought could use improvement.
    Sometimes the chapters were so short. I would be like "yes an update" and it'd be only a couple of paragraphs. YOu made up for that by posting often but still it would be nice to have longer posts sometimes (the last one was a surprise because it was reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaallllllllly long)


    Yeah, sorry about that. It was just hard to keep doing three updates a week and not miss a post.

    22. Would you have liked to see this explored more?
    Yeah it would've been nice to see more of the future. I always hated that they didn't do that in Sailor Moon


    So did I. I wanted to see more of Crystal Tokyo beyond Chibi-Usa, but never got it.

    26. Were the Charonians effective villians?
    I think theu were. First you worry about Palpatine/Jaedite being too powerful and now you worry about the Charonians not being good villiansp


    The harshest critic of someone's work is usually themselves. That's doubly true for me.

    28. Did you like the romance between Anakin and Hotaru?
    I would never have thought of those two together but somehow you made them work


    Thanks. Still trying to figure out why I paired those two up...

    32. How much did you hate Norrick after reading what he did?
    cry I don't remember Norrick. I'm horrible


    You are not horrible! Just go back and reread. Norrick was an Arkanian scientist. he adopted Tionne and her four sisters and performed experiments on them. A real amoral jerk.

    34. Did the kids-Zeth, Lyria, John and Serena-seem like real characters?
    Yeah and I liked the way you brought them into the main story line and made them main characters (unlike Star Wars who keeps Han Leia and Luke as main characters and their children almost as background characters 'cept for YJK and JJK)


    Thanks. I wanted to expend my horizons a bit with them. I've never really written 'normal' teens before.

    35. Did you want to see more of the others?
    others?


    I meant Alac, Meas, Sarah, Aki and the other kids.

    Thank you for reading this, princess_melissa!



    Lady_Jade:

    *Aside* Lady_Jade actually IMed me last night and told me that she missed my Sunday updates. Sorry, Jade.
    [:D]

    2. Were there any characters you wanted to see more of?

    I would have liked to see more of Mara as Sailor Courasant.


    Yeah. I should've done more with her.

    8. How was my angst/drama?

    Very real. Like when Setsuna and Kam and Tionne died.... cry I could really feel the other character's grief


    Thanks. I worked really hard on those scenes.

    13. Please tell me what you thought could use improvement.

    The only really really tiny thing that somewhat kinda bothered me was the paragraph formation. it would have been easier to read if a new paragraph started when someone else
  23. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Sorry about the doubel post, but I've decided to go back and edit all the posts so that only one person is talking in a paragraph.

    Or maybe I should just rewrite this thing and repost it...
  24. Ryalm Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2005
    I just finished the fic, and I absolutely loved every sentence. I'll complete the survey when I have more time Striker. I know I rarely replied to your posts, hell I usually caught the latest post or caught up on posts right before I went to bed. My job and my classes take up a big chunk of my time.

    But enough excuses for myself, if you feel you must edit your posts then I'd like to make a quick suggestion. I never had any trouble reading your story simply because of the paragraph structure, in fact, the only time I had any trouble was when there were typos. Things like double-naming a character in the same sentence, or criss-crossing eye color or uniform color on a character, or just the occasional misspelling. I don't think it all necessary to edit your paragraph structure, but it couldn't hurt to read through and correct various typos in the story.

    Once again, great job Striker, I'll get a reply to your author notes ASAP.
  25. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Ryalm: Hey, no problem. I, of all people, know that real life takes precedence. And thank you for the kind words. Yeah, cleaning up the typoes and such is probably the best route. Thanks, dude.
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