Before Through Hell's Gates (Young Qui-gon, Dooku, massive angst, Updated 12/31/04!)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Neon Star, Nov 5, 2003.

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  1. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    Well, in spite that I should be finishing up my other fics, I just had to put this up, for various reasons. This is not your normal Dooku, I just don't picture him as cold fire all the time, and so this one evolved. This story, unlike the others, will be updated at least once a week, even if it kills me. I hope you enjoy this. :)


    Through Hell?s Gates

    The sun touched gently upon the sky, rising forth from the gloom of night to bleed out along the edge of the world. A lone being watched as a new day was born in the sky, standing on the balcony of the ivory temple, silent and filled with wonder as the sky grew brighter, banishing the darkness and all fears better left to night. His deep midnight eyes reflected the glory opening before him as his deep brown hair, still wet from his early morning shower, glistened in the newborn rays, which turned it a lush brown gold. His tan features glowed in the light, which showed the hardening lines of adult hood residing with the last traces of boyish curves that lingered persistently on his continence. He was on the crest of his eighteenth year, thus tittering between the ever-looming adulthood, and the last echoes of adolescence. Yet in his mind, he was already settled firmly into the adult form, with only the barest traces of the child he had been lingering in the depths. The most persistent being his need above all else, to prove himself to his beloved Master, though he knew there was no longer a need.

    He was the center of his Master?s life, and heart, and nothing he did would ever jeopardize the great love his Master bore for him. They had been a team since he was only an eleven-year-old child, even then they had been strongly connected, and that link between them had only grown stronger as the years passed, until it had surpassed many of their piers. Yet, even he did not realize just how important he was to his Master. He was his legacy, his apprentice, the one who would continue to serve the galaxy they loved, a soon to be great Jedi, and his son. All he really knew, was that his Master loved him as one might a son, and he in turn loved the older man as a son would love a father. No matter that they disagreed at times, or that he was developing a rebellious streak stronger then his Master, or even that he was surpassing him in ways, their link was strong and he only hoped it would remain that way forever, even when he was knighted.

    One of the areas he was beginning to surpass him was in the art of sword fighting. Despite his still slightly awkward limps and joints, he was graceful, and at the top of his class in swordsmanship. He was already skilled enough to challenged and win against many of the Knights, and almost ready to face off against the Masters, and was now giving his dear Master a challenge when they fenced. This was to be expected, as his Master was the greatest swordsman in the order, and he was expected to come into the title himself under the tutelage of his Master, just as his Master had come into under the teachings of his own Master. It was tradition, and the boy had natural talent that could not be denied, as his Master knew well enough.

    Their relationship, strong as it was, was odd, for his Master was connected strongly to the Unified Force, with only brief ties to the Living, while he himself was the opposite. He was of the few Jedi to have a very strong connection to the Living Force, and yet barely even a touch towards the Unified. It was not by choice that he had come to be that way, only that he had been born with such a trait, and so the Force had acted upon his strengths, leaving his weaknesses. This caused many of the disagreements they had, for he could feel through the Force much of what his Master was blind to, like what the earth, the air, the life of a world was telling him, while his Master depended upon the Force to give him what information he needed, while in turn, his Master could live at once in the past, present and future by having the Force give him a clear view of what he needed to see, while he himself was locked with
  2. Xanatos_son_of_Crion Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 2

    This story, unlike the others, will be updated at least once a week, even if it kills me. I hope you enjoy this.

    I'm holding you to it.



    Very interresting take on Dooku. Are you going to show how he fell, as well?

    UP!
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was sweet - very gentle and touching. Good way to establish rapport between the two. Looking forward to more!
  4. Bekah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2002
    star 4
    That was wonderful! It never occured to me to really think that much about Qui-Gon's apprenticeship to Dooku, or that Dooku wasn't always the way he turned out to be.

    I liked the heartfelf emotions emitting from both. Can't wait to see where you take this.

    ~Bek
  5. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    yeah..Dooku's character as a good guy is written well indeed.
  6. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    Due to a restriction on time, I must hold off on personal thanks till later. Sorry for being three days late, and thank you so much for your wonderful comments! :)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*?We cannot accept these terms, Master Dooku.?

    Qui-gon would have muttered under his breath if not for his extensive training, and the fact that he knew his Master would more then likely force him to meditate until next morning if he tried it. Negotiations had been going for nearly five days, and no progress had been made, since one side wished to shoot down whatever the other side agreed upon and vice versa. He wondered how his Master could continue to have patience, when even his own considerable, though less trained, patience, had dwindled to bare roots by the fourth day.

    Tuning out the ambassadors? protests, he focused on the calm, soothing voice of his beloved Master, letting it pulse through him as he settled into a half meditation phase. He couldn?t help; the Council had only sent him along to learn in silence, and to spend as much time as he had left with his Master. He was on the cusp of knighthood, having proved his loyalty and devotion to the order, and the Council was near to deciding upon when his trails should be held. He hoped it would be soon, but he also feared it a slight bit, as all Padawans did. It meant leaving his Master, the man he had trained with, learned from, and loved as a father, to fight the darkness in the galaxy. But, it was a worthy sacrifice, if it meant he could help fight the greater battle.

    But he feared the battle was closer then either of them realized. His dreams haunted him, had haunted him ever since he had heard of the mission, nearly two weeks ago. His Master had yet to realize just how little sleep he had been able to obtain between the crushing sense of darkness that invaded his dreams, and the anger that thrummed around them.

    How could he tell his Master what he had seen?

    A shudder ran down his spin as flashes of the dream ran through his mind. It was impossible, he knew, but deep inside, a part of himself doubted that it was impossible, and believed it would indeed come to pass. A sick feeling twisted in his stomach like a hot blade was twisting within at the thought. If such a thing happened?.

    ?Qui-gon?? a soft voice interrupted his dark musings, and he was glad to note that it was his Master?s voice.

    ?Yes, Master?? he said, focusing outwards to the seemingly worried looks on the slightly weathered features.

    ?Padawan, is something wrong?? Dooku asked, glancing over his young apprentice.

    ?No, Master, why do you ask?? Qui-gon answered, wincing inwardly at the little lie.

    ?Because I?ve been calling you for five minutes now. The meeting has ended; we can do no more here. We?ve been ordered to leave after dawn tomorrow. Now, tell me the truth, surely it is not this elusive anger that has you so withdrawn?? Dooku said, making sure to lock eyes with his sometimes stubborn apprentice.

    He knew, when Qui-gon did not wish to speak of something, he would not, unless faced with no choice, as Dooku was doing to him now. He didn?t like cornering his apprentice, so to speak, but he couldn?t allow it to continue. Qui-gon didn?t realize that his Master knew more then he was telling, especially when concerning his apprentice. He knew it had been nearly two weeks since Qui-gon had gotten enough rest, he could feel the weariness that slipped through his apprentice?s shields, shields that lacked their normal energy to function as strongly as they always did.

    However, when he thought he had left his apprentice no choice but the truth, he was proven wrong as Qui-gon looked into his eyes, tired, sad midnight blue eyes meeting and holding pale blue.

    ?Forgive me, Master, I cannot. It hurts me to deny you this, but please, a little more time, and then perhaps I shall tell you,? Qui-gon said softly.

    Dooku sighed, and nodded, knowing he could only push so far, ?Very well, we shall discuss this on the flight home. Return to our quarters, I have business to attended to.?

    Bowing s
  7. Xeana Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2003
    star 2

    Yikes! A cliffie!

    *Hangs on for dear life*
  8. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!


    ERG...COUGH...CHOKE...AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!

    Evil cliffhanger will kill me yet, Ne-Ne!!!!!
  9. Xeana Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2003
    star 2
  10. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    AHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!! An evil CLIFFHANGER!!!! Why did you do that!?!??!? I love how you've characterized Dooku as having warmth and emotion. I didn't like Jude Watson's portrayal of him very much at all. He seemed so cold and ruthless even when he was a Jedi. Anyway and young Qui-Gon is very well done too. Keep writing! Can I post this on my Qui-Gon website when you finish it?

    http://www.jinnpadawannetwork.org

    It's underconstruction still but take a look around!
  11. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    XOTC or Xeana?: Don't hold me too close to it, as you see, I may be a few days late at times. And you'll just have to see where I go. Don't fall now. ;)

    dianethx: Thank you. :) I was looking for a way to achieve what you described, and I'm glad you think it was so.

    Bekah_K: Its a new subject for me as well. I just got tired of Dooku appearing as a tyrant all the time. Hopefully I'll take this where I intend. ;) Thanks for the comment. :)

    Keeper_of_Swords: Thank you, hopefully I can keep him well written. :)

    Jaci: *Throws her a rope* Hopefully not. ;)

    Layren: I'm an evil writer. ;) I didn't like how she wrote him either, made him seem too one sided. Thanks for the comments. :) Nice site by the way, and of course, if I get it finished. ;)

    Short post tonight, will probably have another up either tomorrow or Sunday. Thanks again for all the comments, and watch for the cliff hangers. :)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    The figure stumbled forward, clutching to his right arm as he reached forward. Qui-gon caught him just as he collapsed, adrenaline kicking into his veins as the dim light revealed the bloody face of his own Master. His robes were splattered with blood, and his face was pale, his breathe heavy as if he had been running from some horrific fate.

    ?Master, what has happened?? he asked, his voice trembling as he tried to support his Master.

    ?Qui-gon, get out of here, they?re coming,? Dooku said softly, struggling to stand, and finding himself unable to.

    ?Who, Master? Who is coming, who did this to you?? Qui-gon asked as he used the Force to first lock the door, then helped his Master settle in a chair.

    ?Jedi Haters, that is all you need know. You have little time, they were right behind me. Get out of here, Qui-gon, I will stall them for as long as I can, but I will not allow you to be captured, or otherwise,? Dooku whispered, gripping his apprentice?s arm as he locked eyes with him.

    His heart shuddered within as he looked into those pained; horror filled midnight blue eyes, and saw the barest trace of innocence. He knew his beloved apprentice couldn?t understand the inhuman anger coming forth to seek them out, could not understand how a being could hate another as much as these did. All because of what they were? He couldn?t afford for them to strip that innocence from his son, he wouldn?t allow them to.

    ?Go!? he ordered as he saw the hesitation in those eyes, and he struggled to stand.

    ?I cannot. I will not leave you to them. Do not send me away, Master, I won?t leave you to die at their hands,? Qui-gon said, his loyalty shining from him as if a light in the dark, but Dooku refused it, refused him, to save him.

    ?No, you cannot,? a harsh sound of splintering wood came to his ears, and he knew his pursuers were at the gate leading up to their rooms, ?Qui-gon, they will not kill me, they will try to make an example of me, but they will kill you. I would break if they did so, I could not bear to lose you to them. Go, get help and return. Only get when you get help. It would not do for us both to be captured.?

    ?But?? he cut him off.

    ?No, this is an order, and your rebellious streak has no place here. I am your Master, and I say go, or I shall end your life myself. I won?t let them have you,? Dooku snapped, standing to his feet as his eyes hardened.

    Qui-gon took a step back as he saw his Master reach for his weapon, and he knew, deep within, his Master made no ideal threat. He would kill him if he did not escape, all to save him from the horror coming?

    ?I shall return as quickly as I can, Master,? he said, his voice trembling as he reigned in his emotions.

    He headed for the window, knowing it to be his only escape, when the soft voice of his Master made him stop, but not turn, ?Qui-gon, may the Force be with you.?

    ?And with you too, Master. Keep safe,? Qui-gon said softly, before heading out.

    Dooku?s sorrowful gaze followed him, ?Keep alive,? he whispered as he saw his apprentice leap from the balcony.

    A second crash c
  12. Xeana Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2003
    star 2

    *Eyes wide*

    Waah! Scary! Are the Jedi haters Sith? Qui-Gon, don't leave Dooku! You have to help him!
  13. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    *eyes widen*

    OOOH.... MORE MORE MORE!!! Another nasty cliffhanger!!! Keep it up! I'm really thoroughly enjoying this....
  14. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I missed a post....how did that happen?
    Post I missed: I liked that Qui-Gon was willing to risk his Master's wrath in order to think a little longer about his dreams. I like both Qui-Gon and Dooku in this fic. I think you've captured Dooku especially with his cultured voice and mannerisms (I can hear him clearly when I read this) - Qui-Gon as well.

    This post: Oh, dear. Jedi haters. I would think that there were such creatures in the universe, ones who are jealous or afraid of people with special gifts. I like how Qui-Gon was going to defy Dooku to defend him but that Dooku was adamant. And now a cliffie...

    Good job on both.
  15. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
  16. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    Xeana: I can't really say, at least not yet. And Qui will do what he must. ;)

    Layren: Thank you, I'm glad you are. And here is more for your enjoyment. :)

    dianethx: I was worried about how Dooku was coming out in this, so thank you so much for giving my confidence with him a boost. :) And I thought so as well. Where there is power, there is fear, no matter how power is used. Thank you for your comments. :)

    Keeper_of_Swords: Thanks, I will. :)

    Okay, a day late, due to over work, but here it is. Hope you enjoy it, thanks for the comments, and expect more soon. :) Still a bit small, but shall get larger as thing progress.
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    Qui-gon raced across the rooftops, his strong legs and the Force carrying him across the gapes easily as he raced towards where they had left their ship, his mind focused on trying to escape and bring help to save his Master. At least he tried to focus on that. But his mind continued to stray towards his injured Master, who he had left to those monsters, to save his own life. Guilt beat in time with his heart as he struggled to maintain his link to his Master, feeding what energy he could slip by his Master?s strong shields to him. He felt alone, his Master?s shields not allowing a thing past them, keeping him completely separate from his Master and what his Master endured, only allowing his energy to seep trough, and only a fraction of that.

    /Hold on, please hold on,/ he sent desperately, unsure if his silent plea reached the one it was intended for.

    Another leap brought his own fate into question as he felt the anger spike, and with it, an explosion rocked the place. Ducking as debris blew past him, he looked in horror at where his ship should have been, only to find a twisted, burning wreckage, the bodies of its pilot and co-pilot lying in bloody heaps. From Qui-gon?s limited view, he could tell they had been murdered first, before the ship had been destroyed, and his stomach turned at how cruel their deaths had been.

    Turning away, he knew then he would not be able to fulfill his Master?s wishes. There was no other way off planet; the Jedi haters would have all routes out secured. Only option left, and that was to return to his Master, and die at his side.

    Steeling his heart, began to work his way back the way he came.

    /I?m coming, Master,/ he sent as he ran, praying he was not too late.

    ?Look, up there, the Jedi scamp is trying to escape!? a yell sounded below him, causing him to race faster across the roofs as he heard air speeders start up and come roaring after him.

    Blaster bolts raced past him as he ducked and dodged, creating a weaving path across the rooftops, while the air speeders ran after him, their riders wishing to drive him into the ground, and kill him before he could reach his Master, and make his stand there. Qui-gon, however, refused to die so easily, and rushed on, his long legs and the Force carrying him easily from one to the other swiftly as he continued back the way he had come. One such air speeder raced over his head, causing him to throw himself to the rough, hard surface of one rooftop, or be hit, but he quickly sprang up again, and continued his track. But the air speeders were slowly directing his course away from his Master, and no matter how hard or how fast he tried to return to his path, they would drive him further from it. Finally he stopped, and made his stand, knowing he could not let them drive him further, or they would ultimately kill him once his strength ran out. He would rather die fighting then fleeing before them, and so he brought forth his lightsaber, the deep green blade springing to life with a snap hiss. The speeders took that moment to surround him, knowing he was challenging them to a battle of life or death, and were willing to sacrifice each other to ensure his death. They dove in, their blasters burning holes in the air as the heated rays tried to mark him, but the green blade formed an impenetrable wall, twirling, spinning, creating a dizzying spell of light as i
  17. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    AACK! It's the EVIL CLIFFHANGER!!!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!! What a time for Thanksgiving too..... hehehehe. Keep up the great work! I'm quite enjoying this. Btw.....any word on a Healer Record of Qui-Gon? :D
  18. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    *screams out loud* QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    *begs with Neon*
    Please, please please update, don't leave it like this!!!! It's such a great story!! :eek: There are so few good Qui and Dooku stories, this rocks, please update? You have a really nice plot going on, and your characters I think are more true to character than in LOTJ, though I loved it. :) Please more?!! please? :)
  19. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Wow, that was wonderful. I loved the fights - both trying to help the other yet so much distance between them. And finally, both are taken down! So now a big cliffie!!!!

    Great job. Keep going!
  20. darth_jurious Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2003
    star 1
    Thank you, Neon Star! Finally, another Dooku-Qui fic! Yay! It might get me going again on mine!

    I love the relationship you have going between the two of them - it's exactly how I imagined them to be. I can only see that Dooku's fall came from his love of things, including his Padawan and the Republic he served - there's no way he could have been as cold and villainous as a Jedi as some people seem to suggest.

    Please continue soon! I hate hanging over deep precipices like this, waiting for the next chapter...
  21. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    Update soon please? :) :) :)

    pretty please with sugar on top?
  22. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Updates??? *looks hopeful* *points to sprained shoulder* need something to read i do......
  23. darth_jurious Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2003
    star 1
  24. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    Layren: No word yet, but I'll let you know if/when I write it. :) Thanks, and I used to be famous for my cliff hangers. ;) Hope your shoulder feels better. :)

    Charmisjess: I know, wish there was more Qui, Dooku fanfics out there. Thanks for the outstanding comments. :)

    dianethx: Glad you like the fights. Fights are not usually my strong point, so your comments are very encouraging. :)

    darth_jurious: I hope it does, there needs to be more fics on Qui-Dooku around here. :D And I agree, that's exactly how I see Dooku as well, as you can see. Thanks. :)

    Sorry for the long wait, life and writer's block caught up with me. Here's a little mush and angst, and hopefully I'll get moving soon. Enjoy. :)

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    He awoke to pain stabbing into him, and to the realization that he wasn?t dead. Groaning softly, he opened his eyes half way, barely strong enough to do that as he tried to survey his surroundings. Obviously they had only stunned him when they shot him in the head, though the other shots had been set to burn. They wanted him alive, as he had thought?That thought filled him with dread, yet even that was masked by the depression and sorrow at the thought of what he had lost. No pain they could inflict upon him would ever amount to the pain he felt at loosing his Padawan, his son.

    Tears slipped down the burned flesh of his cheeks as he silently wept for his lost child, but he was glad that Qui-gon would not have to live through the torture he knew they would bring. A groan entered his thoughts, and he struggled to raise his head as he tried to pierce the shadows, for he belatedly realized that he could no longer touch the Force, probably because they had placed Force blockers in his cell, as was common for Force sensitive prisoners. Through the pain and sorrow, he hadn?t realized it, until that moment, when he tried to reach out to the other presence in his cell.

    ?Master?? the soft, pained; yet familiar voice drifted to him, and his heart sank, in both joy and sorrow.

    ?Qui-gon?? he called, a small part believing he was hallucinating.

    The sound of a body dragging towards him was his only answer for a moment, before warmth pressed close against him, his Padawan?s shuddering breath giving him reassurance that indeed, his child was still alive, and he had not lost his mind. Weakly reaching out, he grasped Qui-gon?s hand, relief and pain warring in him as he felt that callous, tender hand in his.

    *Oh, my child,* he whispered in his mind.

    ?How do you feel?? he asked softly aloud.

    ?Like I?ve been shot, then drug through the streets for a few miles,? Qui-gon murmured, ?And you, Master??

    ?The same. I had thought I lost you,? Dooku whispered, finally turning his head to look at his apprentice.

    Qui-gon wasn?t joking on how he felt, for he looked much as he described. Blaster wounds decorated his chest and limbs, his face was burned in places from near misses, and his hands were burned? And Dooku knew this was only the beginning, and his heart shuddered deep within his chest.

    Qui-gon?s eyes softened, and despite the pain he was in, he smiled slightly, ?You can?t lose me, Master. I won?t leave you.?

    Dooku smiled sadly at this, his hand tightening gently on his apprentice?s tender one, ?I pray I won?t leave you either,? he said, though in his heart, he knew they had little chance of surviving this.

    They fell silent for a time, trying to assess their wounds as they waited, knowing it wouldn?t be long before their captors returned. But time passed, and no one came to check upon them, which only added to Dooku?s restlessness. He knew how they worked, and he knew what they were doing, trying to lull them into a false hope that they would be left to their wounds. And he knew they wouldn?t, not for long at any rate.

    Qui-gon shifted from where he leaned beside his Master, his eyes slipping closed after a while as they waited. He could feel his Master?s restless moves, yet he could only feel peace, despite the situation they were in. The Force blockers
  25. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    *appluads madly and wipes tears* lovely lovely!! I beg for more! I very much like your portrayal of Dooku, and LITTLE QUI'S SO CUTE! :D *squeezes him* This is a really interesting idea, and you're writing it beautifully, I can't wait to see more. Excellent work. :)
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