Before To Serve My Master- a Story of the Sith- Dark Obi-Wan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Oct 1, 2004.

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  1. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Loved the ending. More would be a lovely bonus. :)
  2. AthenaLeigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 2
    haha, daddy, that's very cute, and yes it does show how strong their bond is. Very good ending. It's a nice cap on everything. Wonderfully told story, the whole way through, so sad to see it end. Great work! I have to go read some more of your stories when I get a chance. :)
  3. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    Wow, what a neat ending. Would love to see more. ;)
  4. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2004
    star 2
    Very nice ending! Although I would like to add my call for a sequel. I loved the changes in both the Sith and Jedi orders. Interesting that Obi-Wan and Anakin consider themselves father and son, fitting for their situation.
  5. Senator_Leia73 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 2003
    star 4
    Aww that is so cute Ani calling Obi daddy. :D

    I am sad to hear you ending it. But this is a good place to end it.

    I hope you will do a sequel in the future. But for now I nust congradulate you on an excellent story. =D=
  6. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Interesting changes that Obi is planning. Needs a sequel :D Yup- a sequel
  7. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    That was a wonderful ending to a truly gripping story! :D You're quite right: Obi-Wan IS a smart guy, getting Anakin to call him daddy! And I like the image of a disfigured and care-worn Mace Windu gently preparing the Jedi for the future. Bravo! I also add my voices to those who'd like a sequel! :)
  8. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    What a fitting ending for Evil Qui!

    I knew it would be too good to think Obi might not stay a Sith.

    This screams out sequel!

    *Visioning little evil Luke and Leia*
  9. DreamOfKenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2004
    star 2
    The end was perfect! And I can also see evil little Luke and Leia, running around the galaxy creating havoc! Love the image!
  10. LukesTheMan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 30, 2004
    star 3
    It's over? NO! The ending was just right, but I hate to see it all stop. I think another story, following their adventures as they train more little Sith is in order. Luke with a red lightsaber, Leia spewing out lightning...how cool would that be?
  11. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderful ending. Those two would certainly be a formidable obstacle to the Jedi. Would love to see what you do with that, VL! Great work!

    Shaindl
  12. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    Loved the ending VL! =D= You've made a very intriguing set up for more and a very interesting confrontation! Really like the bond between Anakin and Obi-Wan [face_love] Great job and if you decide to go on... [face_dancing]
  13. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 4
    Wow! Loved the ending! :D

    And yes, sequelsequelsequelsequelsequel!!! :D
  14. CapNJaxWench Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2004
    star 1
    The end was great, a perfect stopping point. I would love to see what happens when Obi/Ani meet the Jedi. Is the galaxy big enough for all of them?

    Great story, hate to see it end.
  15. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Wow, interesting ending. Love the idea of the 'family.'
  16. SilSolo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 5
    Perfect ending, except that Ani and Obi have to watch out for Exar Kun!
  17. AnakinsHeir Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    I thought I had responded to the last chapter! I loved the ending, it was perfect when Anakin called Obi-Wan "daddy."

    So sweet!

    I hope there will be a sequel and we will get to see what happens with the new Sith and Jedi meet.

    Liked the way the Jedi were changing, and that Mace had started it all. A superb ending to a wonderful story!
  18. Skarlaya Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2004
    I had this recommended to me, and I am so glad I checked it out! :D This was a fantastic story, and I loved, loved the ending- you captured the very heart of the love between Obi and Ani, in any timeline or reality, and you did it beautifully. Now I am eagerly crossing my fingers and hoping for a sequel :D ;)
  19. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    The older man rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. ?Yes, I did.? He moved his hands away from his face. ?Does that bother you?? He laughed. ?Developing scruples at a rather late date, aren?t you, my boy?? -- that is so very evil of him... okay he's kinda right with Obi too. Obi-Wan should not have been sruprised at all to find his master killed Sarla.

    You killed Qui-Gon??? Well, I suppose I knew that was coming, he was evil and all, but still, you killed Qui-Gon??? :D :D

    That was fabulous VaderLVR. I was so happy to see you didn't have Obi-Wan go back to the Jedi and even more at what changes were happening in the Jedi Temple. I really would love to see another story say ten years down the line from this one???

    =D= =D=
  20. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    First, I want to thank everyone and anyone who nominated this story or any of its characters for the Reader's Choice Awards. You have no idea of how much that means to me. This story has sort of become "my baby." So, THANK YOU!

    LuvEwan They needed to be close, in order to stop that nasty habit the Sith have of killing each other off! I mean, who wants to give away their secrets to some brat that is just going to whack you later? Thanks for reading!

    SarkaVrae I though both groups could use a makeover! Thank you for reading, you always are right there to make me feel great about whatever I've written! :D

    Kynstar Thank you! You don't know how much your kind words mean to me!

    Layren I have some evil ideas floating around in my head, but I better finish another story I'm working on right now. But I have begun writing more about these two Siths! [face_devil]

    Kinwon Wow! Thank you! I've always thought the Jedi were doomed, in part, but their own isolation. We'll have to see what happens now that things have changed.

    VadersMistress Thank you! Now I don't have to put you on restriction forever! Love ya!

    obi_ew Thank you! You know how much I love your work, so I'm flattered that you liked this one.

    AthenaLeigh I'm so glad you liked it, this one was a lot of fun to write. An evil Obi, Qui, and little Sithly Anakin? I mean, what's not to like writing about that? Thank you for reading!

    Master_Noi Thank you! [face_blush] I'm glad you liked!

    BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Thanks! :D

    Senator_Leia73 It did feel like the right place to end it, so as much as I hated to quit writing it, I didn't want to beat a dead horse. Thank you for reading, as always.

    PadawanKitara Don't be surprised if you see these two show up again in the future! Thanks for reading.

    Jemmiah Thank you so much! I'm very flattered that you liked this story. I also liked the idea of Mace leading the next generation of Jedi, scarred as he is, showing them that hatred is not the way. And if he doesn't hate those who hurt him, why should they let hate rule them? I can't wait to write more about these characters and some ideas are putting themselves on paper already!

    jodiwent Ah yes, Darth Luke and Darth Leia. Sounds interesting, doesn't it? [face_devil] Thank you!

    DreamOfKenobi Yeah, I can see it, too. That's what is scary! Thanks for reading.

    LukesTheMan Ah, the SKywalker twins wreak havoc in the galaxy! Sounds like a winner to me!

    Shaindl Thank you! I have plans for everybody. Not nice plans, perhaps, but plans!

    tangled_sphere Thank you so very much! :D

    Happy_Hobbit_Padawan :p Thanks! Will do my best.

    CapNJaxWench Thank you!

    DarthIshtar Even a Sith needs a hug! Thanks for reading.

    SilSolo Exar Kun can be grandpa! :D

    AnakinsHeir Thank you! It would be an interesting meeting, that's for sure.

    Skarlaya Wow! Thank you! [face_blush] And thank whoever recommended it, that means a lot to me.

    Healer_Leona It didn't make sense for there to be any miraculous redemption for Obi, so Qui-Gon had to die. Right now what is coming to mind is a teenaged Anakin pushing his boundaries...Obi dealing with a son and an apprentice who doesn't always listen. Could be fun! Thank you for reading!

    Well, for something that started out as a vignette in response to a challenge, this one morphed into something totally different. Thank you to those who went along for the ride with me.





  21. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Did you ever watch Finding Nemo? ;) Do you remember the turtle, the way he said, "Woah"?

    WOAH. :eek:

    That was my reaction to this story. :D I knew you were writing it (I got first post!) but I didn't have the time to keep up with it. :( So I just spent an hour or so reading it all. :D It was amazing! You're such a talented writer, you always have quality. Dooku's death, then Qui-Gon's - and then Obi-Wan and Anakin. I really liked that part. I always felt Obi-Wan and Anakin were meant to be together, but how they ultimately dealt with and related to each other somewhat doomed the relationship. So very interesting the way you end it here. :D

    I really liked how you transformed the Jedi. I love how you used Mace Windu, especially, to do it. The Jedi are, I think, building roots. And what keeps a plant from being washed away by a storm? What keeps a hill from being washed away? :D

    Then again, the way the Sith are changing . . . :eek:

    Amazing story, VAderLVR64. @};-
  22. The_Hutt Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2004
    star 1
    Oooh, lovely ending! Obi-Wan's changes to the Sith order are really quite interesting and intelligent. He recognized the problems with the master-apprentice bond of the sith all along, as Qui-Gon should have. I also agree that it would be interesting to find out what happens between this oh-so interesting Sith pair. It just feels odd to call them that! Obi and Anakin just don't seem suited to carry out the eradication of the Jedi. I guess I'm just baised, but they have so much good in them! Well, this was a fabulous story, and I hope that you can continue this plotline sometime!
  23. VaderLVR Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 24, 2004
    obaona Wow! Thank you! You have no idea how much that means to me, especially considering how much I admire your work. I'm glad you like what I did with this, I had so much fun writing. Evil Obi was distressingly easy to write, LOL!

    The_Hutt I've been sorting out ideas for what happens afterward. I think both orders would be very changed and that might make their battle against each other different as well! Who knows? [face_whistling]


    Thanks to everyone who read this!
  24. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    First, what can I say except "Thank you!" to all who responded to this story and its characters! You don't know how much it meant to me; getting awards was just the icing on the cake (chocolate, of course). Sarla, Anakin, and Qui-Gon thank you, whether from beyond the great veil or in a GFFA! This is one of those pieces I will always hold very close to my heart. Apparently, I like evil Obi, what can I say? And to think this all started as a vignette from the Obi-Wan thread!

    So, thank you!

    @};- @};- @};-

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