Saga A lil' additional Dialog (missing lines microfiction)

Inspired by Artoo's Frazzled Circuits I got to thinking about things Artoo may have been saying in the Original Trilogy having known everything that happened in the Prequel Trilogy. Then I started thinking about other characters that would have knowledge about these past events in the original trilogy. So Lucas always having the whole thing planned out *cough* had these "original" lines edited out so as not to spoil the surprise.

Episode IV: A New Hope

The Scene: Owen Lars has just bought the droids from the Jawas

Threepio: Don't you forget this! Why I stick my neck out for you is beyond my capacity ..

Artoo: Welcome home.

Threepio: What?

Artoo: You really are worthless since that memory wipe.

Threepio: How many times must I tell you, if I have had a memory wipe, I would remember it. hmm?


The Scene: Obi Wan finds Luke in the Judland Wastes.

Obi Wan: Hello there.

Artoo: Hey there, homeslice, long time, no see.

Obi Wan: Come here, my little friend. Don't be afraid.

Artoo: Are you sure? I mean you and I both know how his Dad turned out. Pretty scary stuff there, yo.

Obi Wan: He'll be alright.


The Scene: Inside Ben Kenobi's Hut.

Luke: What is it?

Ben: Its your father's lightsaber. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

(Luke is enraptured with his new glowy-plaything)

Ben: This particular saber, your father held at my throat and tried to kill me with, but I chopped off his legs with this one on my belt, and left him all burnt up next to a pool of lava. I took this from him, in the hopes I could sucker YOU into becoming a Jedi Knight and finishing the job I didn't.

Luke: What? Sorry? Were you saying something.

Ben: The Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic...


The Scene: Obi Wan talking to Chewbacca at the Cantina

Obi Wan: I need passage to the Alderaan system.

Chewbacca: Why do you want to go there, old man?

Obi-Wan: Lets just say this is Jedi business.

Chewbacca: You are no Jedi. You are much too tall, and not green enough.

Obi Wan: Excuse me a moment. Let me deal with this...

(Obi Wan turns towards Luke and his little friend)

Obi Wan: This little one is not worth the effort. Come, let me get you something

Bartender: No blasters! No blasters!


The Scene: The duel between Obi Wan and Darth Vader

Obi-Wan: Wait a minute. Why are we fighting so slow? Why are there no jumps, acrobatics, or Force techniques? We are just lamely swinging at each other. We are better than this!

Darth Vader: Apparently Not.


Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

The Scene: Luke's vision after escaping the Wampa Cave

Ben: Luke, Luke.

Luke: Ben?

Ben: You will go to the Dagobah System.

Luke: Dagobah System?

Ben: There, you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed Count Dooku, who instructed Qui Gon Jinn, who instructed me.

Luke: Ben!

The Scene: Darth Vader briefing the Bounty Hunters

Darth Vader: No disentigrations!

Boba Fett: You killed the guy who killed my daddy, so, as you wish.


The Scene: Darth Vader Reveals the truth

Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough, he told me you killed him!

Vader: No. I am your father. I did kill your mom, however.



Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

The Scene: Han is thrown into Jabba's Dungeon

Han: Chewie?

Chewie: Yep.

Han: Chewie is that you?

Chewie: I said it was, what are you, deaf?

Han: Chewie! Chewie! I can't see pal.

Chewie: But I told you it was me.

Han: What's going on.

Chewie: Well everything is going to Luke's plan.

Han: Luke? Luke's crazy! He can't even take care of himself, much less rescue anybody.

Chewie: He's a Jedi Knight.

Han: Jedi Knight? I'm out of it for a little while, and everyone gets delusions of grandeur.

Chewie: No, its true. Yoda trained him. I know the guy. Great Jedi, you should have seen him kick ass when Order 66 was sent out. I gave him a ship.


The Scene: Ghost-Ben talks to Luke

Luke: I can't kill my own father.

Ben: Would it help if I told you he killed your mom?

 

I did kill you mother, however. HA! I love that line. Very funny...they were all great.

 

Jedi_Lover: It still amazes me that in telling of all the evil of Darth Vader they bend the truth to say he killed Luke's father but always fail to neglect to tell him that Vader was responsible for the death of his other parent.

 

This is great. My favorites:

Ben: Its your father's lightsaber. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

(Luke is enraptured with his new glowy-plaything)

Ben: This particular saber, your father held at my throat and tried to kill me with, but I chopped off his legs with this one on my belt, and left him all burnt up next to a pool of lava. I took this from him, in the hopes I could sucker YOU into becoming a Jedi Knight and finishing the job I didn't.

Luke: What? Sorry? Were you saying something.

Ben: The Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic...

and

Luke: I can't kill my own father.

Ben: Would it help if I told you he killed your mom?

 

What a unique and fun idea.

 

That was really funny!

And spot on on all your 'interpretations'.

 

That was hilarious and very creative. Fun stuff!

 

Alexis_Wingstar, Jade_eyes. Hazel, and Luna_Nightshade Thank you for the kind words and compliments.

 

These remind me of the "Vader Monologues"

I always believed when no one could understand Artoo, he was giving away galactic secrets... and, as the most bleeped character in the movies, in a not nice manner lol!

Well done - very funny

 

Jade_Max Thanks for the compliment. We can safely say that Artoo knows more about the Skywalker Saga than any other being in the Galaxy.