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Saga - ST A Rough Trade (Luke, Ben Solo, OCs, R2... | 21 ABY | Pre-Kylo) - Author thanks + NEW: March 28th

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ewok Poet, Dec 22, 2015.

  1. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Title: A Rough Trade
    Author: Ewok Poet
    Characters: Luke Skywalker, Ben Solo/Kylo Ren, OCs, many more.
    Timeframe: 17 years after the Battle of Endor / 21 years after the Battle of Yavin*
    Rating: PG-13
    Genre: Drama
    Length: A handful of chapters. Not sure yet, but probably not an epic.
    Summary: The warning signs were always there - that may have been the only thing young Ben Solo had in common with his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker. But everybody chose to ignore them, even when his most prized possession came into play...


    * This is when I assume the massacre occurred. Luke, and eventually others, are telling the story of an event that occurred a couple of years earlier.

    Author notes:

    Warning: Extremely unorthodox approach: the POV is initially Luke's, but it will shift back and forth, as the story goes on. Just like the map that BB-8 had the last puzzle piece of, a story of a young man's fall to the dark side can only be told as a puzzle, pieced together by multiple people, none of whom have all the details, all of whom approach it from a different point of view.

    I have been wondering about how Kylo Ren got the helmet from Endor ever since it was shown in the second trailer for The Force Awakens. As a fan of Ewok-centric stuff, I was slightly worried that it may have been violent. And then, I realised that it does not have to be, that it can be fluffy to the point where nobody sees the disturbing facts and a disaster just waiting to happen. After I have read Lady_Misty 's excellent short, I can hear you I had an idea that would make peace between old and new, between popular and unpopular, between the stuff so dear to my heart and the stuff that everybody else likes. So, here I go.

    OCs appearing in this story will mostly go by pseudonyms, as, with my current schedule, this is the only way to have a story leading up to TFA before, err...2019?! By then, the whole build-up to the Sequel Trilogy will be much different and this story won't make sense. So, why not write it now?

    Feel free to challenge anything, as long as you're doing it in a civil way and directly to me, not in some remote corner of the www.


    [​IMG]
    The moment that inspired me, next to the one with the mask.




    Table of contents:

    Prologue
    Chapter 01
    Chapter 02
    Chapter 03
     
  2. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Prologue

    <<location data: Jedi training grounds>>
    <<weather data: downpour>>
    <<holovideo message id: 1138>>

    You are reckless! You are reckless! You are reckless! You are reckless! You are reckless! You are reckless! You are reckless! You are reckless! You are reckless!

    At this point, I cannot determine if the ghost that is Master Yoda is really speaking to me, or if I am no longer able to silence my guilty conscience. And guilt, it's an emotion that should not plague a Jedi. Not in hard times like these. Not when every single word he ever said to me and every single word he may have said to my father has ultimately lead to my doing what he had once done - going into exile. Does he want me to change my decision? Does he think I’m approaching things in black and white, as if I were a Sith? Is this him, at all?

    You are reckless!

    Why, Yoda? And why Yoda? And out of all wise things he said to me, why does the one that was, ultimately, wrong, stick out? Why everything else seems garbled, twisted around, and spoken in a language I do not even understand. Could it be that no other soul who ever lived, that nobody else out of the three beings who became one with the living Force can reach through to me? Could it be that this place is so strong with the dark side?

    Where is old Ben, when I need him most? He guided me through all the decisions I have made during the worst and the darkest of times and now, he is not speaking to me. Whoever had taught him to have the patience he had for a wide-eyed boy from the place where the maker had said goodnight to the world must have been somebody reckless himself, in some way.

    Where is my father? The one who sometime comes to visit me in the shape of a young man I never knew, with the face I have never seen, as the one dying in my arms was disfigured and helpless. The one who redeemed himself in the end? The alleged Chosen One?

    My thoughts are betraying me and my feelings are failing me. I understand that this place is now the closest to hell as one can be, so many slaughtered, innocent souls lying motionless in the rain. Is somebody trying to make me think something I otherwise would not? Did I underestimate his abilities, just like his father once thought of mine as a delusion, at the worst point possible...right now?

    Was training my nephew ultimately a mistake, no worse than master Yoda claimed would have been Ben training my father?

    Was I ignoring the signs from the very beginning because he was my nephew? Was this the reason the Jedi of the old Republic used to be so strict?

    Why did I not learn anything from the fragments of all those stories about my father? I traced every single thing, every single story, everything that would help Leia and I learn more about who we were and ultimately, it was all stolen from me and reconnected in the form of a sinister cube puzzle that was nowhere like the one the two of us put together?

    So many things I cannot find the answers for, but I know the answer to the last one.

    It’s easy – because nobody ever stopped me or doubted me! That is one of the reasons I wonder why young Ben – whom I will never call by any other name - ended up obsessed with somebody who was always stopped and doubted, regardless of how much love we gave him.

    His story was never similar to my father's. Anakin Skywalker - whom I will never call by any other name, as he is ultimately the one he was born as, the one he died as - grew up in poverty. Slavery. In the shadows, on a remote world where shadows were a rare sight to behold, yet everybody was a shadow quietly existing under the rule of a tyrant.

    Ben, he had everything he could possibly wish for. He grew up as the son of two heroes of the Galactic Civil War. He was free to do whatever he pleased. He wanted to become a Jedi himself.

    Perhaps that was a problem, too?

    Sometimes, I hear a woman’s voice, but I cannot see her. She is in great pain and she keeps on repeating “I know there’s good in him.” I cannot fully recognise her face, though it seems like I have always known her. I have an idea of who this might be and whose memory is being shown to me, but it’s dangerous, incredibly dangerous, to take things out of context. Therefore, this mere assumption will not be a part of my message.

    You are reckless!

    Be quiet, my master. I never begged for anything, I never even begged a monster of a man, the emptiest of the empty souls to spare my life; but now I am questioning myself so much, I feel another wrestling session with the dark side coming along and this is not the way of the Jedi. Perhaps you would have said that I should go somewhere strong in the dark side, like you did and feed and clothe my demons, instead of escaping them. Know your enemy. But what if your enemy is...

    <<a chirp of warning in droid binary language>>
    <<a sigh and a coughing sound>>

    I am sorry for having addressed my former master and not you, all along. From this point on, I am directly addressing you.

    Ultimately, the biggest of the mistakes happen when one takes things out of context and takes them to a hyperlane less travelled. And the only thing I can do is preserve this story in its entirety, until the time is right for you to read it.

    There are things I am not willing to preserve in their entirety, but by now, you should have figured out what they are and you, you’re watching this with me; unless there is no good in the world left and you’re sitting by my corpse.

    But I have faith in you. And there is nothing else I believe in right now. Just you.

    And I am not reckless. Not anymore.

    <<a witty chirp in droid binary language>>




    Footnotes:

    Luke is having a vision of his mother through the Force ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi, but he does not want to assume things. He knows who his mother is, otherwise, as established in the new canon.

    This is indeed intended as a message recorded to R2-D2, but that should be obvious.

    Until it's confirmed that Luke is aware of who Qui-Gon Jinn was, he cannot know, as far as I'm concerned.
     
  3. leiamoody

    leiamoody Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2005
    I'll read your story because I like you and your writing. I don't know much about the background of the ST, but I'll do my best to keep up. I like the idea of unorthodox approaches to storytelling, so this should be interesting. :D

    EDIT: Okay, missed the first post...I like the fact you're doing a first person account of Luke's emotions during this time. It's also interesting that he received a flashback of Padme during her death throes, yet he isn't aware this was his mother. Just another tragedy piled on top of all the others for the Skywalker twins. Ugh. [face_plain]
     
  4. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2007
    I assumed that after Luke burned the armor he collected what didn't burn/the melted, twisted remains of the armor, the cybernetics and other things either so they wouldn't pose a threat to anything/anyone,he didn't want anyone to desecrate the remains and kept them locked up in a box/crate somewhere or he took them to prevent someone overly loyal to the Empire enshrining them and using them to promote their agenda.

    Who knows and it's fun to speculate. :)

    Some doubt is healthy but it can be debilitating.


    Sent from my iPadd from another galaxy using Tapatalk
     
  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Stunning - and that's just the prologue? =D= =D= Fantastic as we see a contest between unmitigated despair and crippling self-doubt and hope, even while one gets the strong impression it could be misplaced. One needs to learn from their own and others' mistakes but sometimes the what if I do this/don't do that becomes so paralyzing - and it actually doesn't matter which choice is made. Because Ben/Kylo's path is basically not one others forced him onto. [face_thinking]
     
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  6. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Wow. I feel like I just read the opening scroll to SW8. There is so much here! Luke's desperation and anguish are so heartfelt. Everything should have gone right, and yet it went disastrously wrong. How alone and traumatized he must have felt in that rain soaked field, surrounded by the bodies of those who trusted him. Betrayed by his own blood.

    I will be looking forward to reading more.
     
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  7. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Interesting beginning.

    You know, one of the things I find so interesting about Ben Solo/Kylo Ren is that he likely grew up with everything - with extreme privilege, the beloved son of royalty and heroes of the rebellion, the heir to Luke's Jedi legacy - and he still went dark, unlike so many villains who claim "bad childhoods" or "tragic backstories." I have my own ideas on exactly why (which probably won't align with this fic) but let's see where you go.

    A little selective memory from Luke here? I assume he's speaking of Palpatine, but he did beg his father to save him, so....
     
  8. Kahara

    Kahara Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    :eek: Really liked the mysterious (and yet offering so many alternate explanations) nature of this Yoda-echo that Luke is hearing. It's heartbreaking to see him this low emotionally and doubting his own every motive, but it seems like a logical place for Luke to be after Kylo's betrayal. He seems to be almost falling off the edge here -- not to the dark side, but to losing all trust in his own grasp on reality. Thankfully, he does seem to find a tentative anchor at the end, though it's a "one foot in front of the other, moving forward because there's no other choice" kind of determination. It's an interesting question that Luke is pondering here, about whether it was reckless to train his nephew -- and yet, it's a thin line to tread between disastrous overconfidence and disastrous underconfidence. The only way to achieve that, probably, is through trial and error. And yet so many lives depend on never making a mistake for someone in Luke's place. It's kind of an awful paradox that to learn how to preserve everything one would have to take risks that could destroy it all. Tough questions that you haven't made the answers simple or easy for here! =D=
     
  9. Tohl_Andares

    Tohl_Andares Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    May 26, 2011
    A very intriguing start. As others have mentioned, you've encapsulated Luke's struggle well and I enjoy your interpretation of his sometimes crippling self-doubt. It hardens back to ESB, except it is amplified here. Great work- especially the deft use of language
     
    Findswoman and Ewok Poet like this.
  10. TheReal_Rebel

    TheReal_Rebel Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 17, 2015
    It is well written and you have some nice touches with R-2 being present and Padme being referenced. Essentially agree with comments by Tohl Andares.

    Comments Below meant to be helpful, not a critique. Take them or leave them as you see fit.

    1) If this is Luke directly after the massacre, I'd like to know not only what he's thinking and feeling internally but what he's doing, expressing externally. Are tears rolling down his cheek? Is he in the mud on his knees, clutching the body of one of the slain? Is he looking about him and what could have happened? . Does he smell the singe from of a light saber on cloth. You get my point.

    2) You have a good start but, personally, believe Luke would be expressing even more agony and asking his force ghosts if this how they felt about his father's betrayal. Punch me in the face with Luke's pain.

    3) I don't think Luke would assume Kylo had a loving, indulged spoiled up bringing. He may have. We don't know. Kylo says he was disappointed in Han. Why? Cheated on Leia and Kylo saw? Han wasn't around much?
    ( Aside: After Alderaan was destroyed one wonders what financial resources Leia actually had. ) Luke knows Han and Leia always fought. It is never a comfortable thing for a child. We know his parents sent him away to Luke. They may have been afraid of him. Which may have been hard on Ben. Imagine how the other kids treated him knowing, if they did, who he was the grandson of. Or generally ragging on him because of who his parents are. Imagine being Voldermort's kid at Hogwart's. Always having to prove yourself. It would be even worse than Harry's experience

    4) From Luke's POV. I think he'd be wondering what's wrong with himself, his family with the Jedi that this sort of tragedy, on different scales, keeps happeing every generation?

    Just my thoughts

    Use or ignore as you need :)
     
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  11. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Thank you so much, all of you, for your overwhelmingly great response to the prologue. I loved reading the comments and seeing a broad spectre of views. It means a lot and it most definitely influenced what is to come. THANK YOU. :) :) :)




    In the meantime, it got sort of...more unorthodox. Writing the DDC is probably to blame.

    As far as ST background goes, there is little to nothing at this moment, which is exactly why I'm inspired to come up with some pretty odd, odd stuff.

    I have added a comment to the footnotes to explain this.

    Now, the whole idea of a Force Ghost carrying a vision to somebody may be a bit strange - but that is what I assumed happened in TFA, when Rey heard Obi-Wan Kenobi.

    If I say that I am more inclined to believe that than something else, given that the story I'm writing may imply otherwise, please don't think I'm messing with you. It will make sense, I promise.

    Indeed. Also, thank you for inspiration once again. I never thought I would be writing a ST-anything just a couple of days after The Force Awakens premiere, but then I saw that and...it had to happen.


    And nobody is immune to it, I think.

    [face_blush][face_blush][face_blush]

    And yup, just the prologue. It took me some time to get the right atmosphere for the first chapter, partly because of these positive comments. *stage fever'ing around*

    You're the only person who noticed that thiiin thread of hope. I see it as too close to the eye to actually be seen, but yes, it's there. Otherwise, Luke would not be leaving the message in the first place, or trying to make himself found by the right person, once the time comes.


    I...I get panicky from positive things, too. So, in response to wow, I guess I'll OMG! [face_blush]

    If there's one thing I regret about the first person approach, it's for not having made sense to include the scenes you just described and what was going with Luke's other senses.


    The moment I saw your response, my heart was racing in my throat, actually, so...I was relieved, in the end. I mean, you are one of those folk who write THE Luke, albeit in a different continuity, but...you know. [face_hyperventilating]


    That was one of the things I found interesting as well, and his bratty behaviour may or may not have been related to that.

    As far as the bolded part goes, this is precisely why I love fanfics. :) Your take may be completely different from mine and then, the last comment before Chapter 01 was posted sort of contradicts both of us.

    Even a Jedi can be like a hobby fisherman. The fish we saw them catch, vs. the fish they actually caught...

    As in, yes, fully intentional.

    That's only the first thing with multiple possible explanations here...buuut, I didn't tell you that.

    I did try to imply something in the lines of depersonalisation, derealisation or both. Regardless of how stoic Luke can be and how much he learned from what he may know of his father's story, he just cannot stay immune to this. Yoda was in deep sadness on Kashyyyk when he felt his comrades die, and this must have been far worse.

    Those always go hand in hand, just like - completely unrelated to this story, but a good example - inferiority and superiority complexes. Especially in tough situations.

    Pretty sure you said something very similar in the comments to both of my Ewoks fics and it seems that you and I love that trial and error thing.

    I did have The Empire Strikes Back on my mind as the primary source of how I was to portray Luke here. Sure, at this point he's a bit too old to NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, but weaknesses can creep up at any given time.

    As for the language comment - that means a lot, given that this wasn't beta-read. :)


    At the time of the prologue, Luke was close to rambling, regardless of how coherent it may look like. The problem with the latter is an issue with the whole setting - somebody recording a strange message that is initially doubtful, contradictory and not too coherent would not stop to randomly describe those details. Just like I said to divapilot above, that's one of the drawbacks of the first person "live" POV.

    There is also an option that he fled immediately and recorded the message in a hiding place. I am leaving it open, as The Force Awakens flashbacks/visions are way too vague at this time. Hope that makes sense. :)


    This is to come later. And I absolutely agree.


    Never thought about Leia's financial resources before! That's a great thought. :)[/quote]

    The latter, I did think about. Now, seeing his father cheat, for some reason, I find that hard to picture.

    When I first read the comments back in December, yours and @JadeLotus' seemed to be presenting two different scenarios. Now that I look again, I wonder why I thought that. *shrug* I guess I had no brains in December.


    This is interwoven into the whole thing like a background drone note. Sometimes it whispers, sometimes it screams. Depends on the chapter and POV.

    Numbers 2 and 4 will definitely be used, numbers 1 and 3, depending on POV and context. That was super-helpful, you're a great reviewer, y'know? :)
     
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  12. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Chapter 01

    A/N: Still Luke's POV. Not beta'd yet, for reasons that make sense, in context. Therefore, mesa mooie mooie sorry fer mistookies.




    <<a compassionate chirp in droid binary language>>

    Reckless, reckless, reckless, reckless, reckless. I know, Artoo. The moment I stop all my thoughts and I’m no longer tied to my surroundings, there is nothing but my former Master repeating this. At this point, however, I wonder if he’s talking about me, or him. I dare not think what he calls himself now.

    It all started with a seemingly innocent situation. And it ended in the worst way possible - with history repeating. The kind that should have never repeated.

    After many invites I let slide, I was back to the Forest Moon of Endor, for the anniversary of the battle, reflection and meditation. Many times before, I visualised everything, the way we left it. The rustling leaves and fern underneath our feet in the woods. The twin-sun-burnt grass on the clearing where the Shield Bunker used to be. The shadow cast by the remaining chicken walkers that stood still wherever their retrieving and captured pilots had last left them, and the silent corpse of the one my brave friend once hijacked, closest to the Bunker. There were times when I visualised it fall, at the strength of the explosion. I was not there to witness how exactly this played out, but I was aware of my sister being in danger and I could feel her get blasted in the shoulder.

    <<a sad chirp in droid binary language>>

    No, I could not feel your being wounded. I appreciate your trying to make me feel better, the best way you know how.

    <<a sarcastic chirp in droid binary language>>

    I was there when you shocked him, I was hanging from a pole above the fire pit. And no, I could not have possibly felt that.

    What you just reminded me of is yet another thing that could have led me to realising that something was wrong to begin with and, in case you wake up to a grim future that has been stripped off any knowledge of there having been two major Force factions in the past and whoever is behind my fallen Padawan rewrites the history, you may have to clarify this, how it works, to those who attempt to slice you. When one has the Force, there are various degrees of connections that we may feel with others who do. Sometimes, we recognise one another from the very first moment we look into each other’s eyes. In my case, this was almost always happening with the beings strong in light side of the Force. I can feel them. I can feel the good in them even if they’re having a fit of rage. I can sense their love even when they’re radiating fear. This is something that the Old Jedi Order may have got wrong.

    Perhaps it was thoughts like these that should have brought me back to Endor throughout the years I was absent. Perhaps it was the other way round and my conflicting feelings and the meditations I knew would be taking place were slightly frightening. The planetoid was strong in the dark side of the Force. The Emperor died there…the man who chaotically emitted dark side energy from his body even when my redeemed Father was throwing him down the shift! And he killed my father, who redeemed himself saving me and the Galaxy. The time I had with him was limited to mere minutes. This led me to believe that Anakin Skywalker had accepted the roughest trade of his life in order to leave the fate of the Jedi Order, the Forest Moon of Endor and the Galaxy at large in the hands of somebody who could see through his own eyes and was significantly more able-bodied than him. I lost him before I could even think of getting to know him. Sooner than my first Master. Even sooner than my second Master. What seems like centuries, compared to the family that raised me.

    It was only later that I found out that some of the other times my Father had bargained with the Force, played sabacc with the Universe were far rougher trades, the ones that sent the whole spiral of souls, worlds and destinies collapsing into the not-so-bright centre of the Galaxy. And nothing can escape a black hole, regardless of its innocence in the grand scheme of things. Nothing. Including the very last thing that spiralled there – himself. Such are the ways of the Force. Such are the ways of the Galaxy. Sometimes, they overlap.

    This may be why I had been avoiding the Forest Moon. It was the privilege of teaching others and carrying the legacy of the Jedi Order that made me rethink my decisions. But this time, when it all started, I was confident in my abilities and I knew, deep within, that I could stop all the dark thoughts.

    Leia and Han were to join us the next day, travelling from a diplomatic mission on Roon. My Padawan, their son and my best student at the new Praxeum was coming along with me. In lack of actual missions to build his strength as a Jedi, a trip down the memory hyperlane was the most I could have offered him. If nothing else, I wanted to teach him how to stop dark thoughts.

    Little did I know that this trip would eventually send him on his only mission.

    Little did I know that Endor would be still blasting the shockwaves his way, somehow.

    The moment we came out of hyperspace and the lush green conifer trees appeared below us, the only thing I had on my mind was the sheer realisation that I forgot where the funeral pyre for Father had been. Whatever Ben’s face may have been like at this moment, however bemused he may have been – I did not see it.

    We landed on a small, but well-kept trading post turned micro-spaceport, located on a clearing close to the Bright Tree Village. The directional lights were flickering like holograms sent from the other side of the Galaxy and I had an impression that the duracrete panels were too far apart in a couple of places in the landing area. But this was Endor, the forgotten planetoid where little to nothing has changed.

    As I took my first breath of the fragrant, clear air, Ben looked around.

    “No one is there.” He said, once our two-seater touched the landing beacon. “Why would anybody want to live here in the first place? We’re practically at the edge of the world as we know it.”

    He was wrong. Somebody was coming our way from the long corridor separating the landing area from the other facilities. I did not know whom we were to expect, all I knew was that it was not going to be Cobb Salfur, the one-time member of the Endor Strike Team. He had moved on some years ago.

    Ben pouted at the sight of the person approaching us. “It’s a girl.”

    He spotted her before I did. And indeed, it was a ‘girl’. I had given up on guessing people’s age by this point in time. By her clothes – blue trousers tucked in knee-high ruffled red boots and a green tunic, she could have been anywhere between 20 and 40 years old.

    “Why are you wearing those stupid boots?” Ben asked her. She shrugged it off, pulled her face in something resembling a smile and addressed me.

    “Goopa. I mean, hello…Master Skywalker, right?”

    “Call me Luke.”

    “They call me Kami.” She extended her hand. I noticed that she did not use any title – or last name, for that matter. But her handshake was reasonably firm, a strange contrast to a voice so flat.

    Ben was more curious than I had expected him to be. “Is that really your name?”

    She grinned. “No. I said that they call me that.”

    I was about to say that I used to have a friend named Camie at home, under two different and much rougher suns, but what would that have meant to her? Clearly, this woman was a different kind of a hermit. Maybe this was a foreshadowing of the subtlest possible kind?

    “Ewoks. They pronounced the word ‘cam’ like that. Cam, as in holocam. And I always have holocams around, so that’s what they were yelling the first time they pointed at me. It was long ago. And it stuck.” She finally smiled and there was a slight change in her tone. “Let’s go.”

    Kami led us through the transparisteel corridor to the living quarters. The corridor walls were lined with metal and they seemed oddly familiar. Once upon a time, in a similar corridor, Father led me to what could have been the end of it all. Ironically, this corridor may have been built to resemble that particular one.

    When we arrived to the other side, I observed the surroundings. A small square, much like the one in the Ewok village itself. A warehouse and a transparisteel-lined office. Something that resembled a log cabin.

    “If you have a log cabin, how come you don’t live in the trees?” Ben was suspicious. “It’s not like your long cabin actually blends in, given all the artificial material used around it.”

    “When this little spaceport was originally conceived as a trading post, the Republic officials decided to raise eight duracrete columns, as opposed to using actual trees.” Kami stuck in the keycard, opened the doors to her office and sat down to register us. She didn’t even turn to Ben. “They did not want to offend Ewok religious sensibilities. The trees, they are sacred.”

    The registration process was quick. The less Ben talked, the nicer Kami seemed to be. She showed us the refreshers and the comm area, and then pointed to the barracks.

    “You could stay there. Nobody else is visiting at the moment. A Mon Calamari, old soldier, was here last time around, and there is this certain charming man that visits every year…”

    “Lando!” I thought.

    “…but you could also stay with us. We don’t have somebody like you coming here every day.”

    I nodded and let Kami take us to the log cabin, much to Ben’s dismay. That was a strange place, and I have seen many strange places.

    The spacious master room was full of devices the purpose of which I could not quite determine, but I was sure of one thing: they were not used by smugglers and rogues. The man sitting in the middle of that chaos did not strike me as such. He did not notice us come in, but the little girl sitting next to him did. She dropped three Endorian rabbit cubs from her lap, grabbed the fourth by its three ears and tip-toed to us.

    "Are you the great deejay?" She cocked her head and stood on one leg. Then she put a finger in front of her mouth and, in a much louder voice, added. "Where is your robe? Every deejay has a robe!"

    "Sorry, Soluna tends to be like this…you know…" The man finally noticed us. At first glance, he seemed to be at least a decade older than his female companion. "…shy and awkward like me, but with a talent for saying the worst possible things at worst possible times, things like that.”

    He smiled broadly and ruffled the little girl’s hair with a hand clad in a dark-green glove. His other hand, holding a multi-purpose tool, too bore a glove, much similar to mine.

    "Soluna. You met my mommy. That over there is my daddy.” The girl shook my hand and proceeded to shake Ben’s. “They call him crazy, but he is not. And these are my tumble bunnies!”

    “You could have always said that they call him Twig.” Rolling her eyes, Kami cautioned her daughter. “Sounds much better than ‘crazy’. Also, you meant ‘Jedi’ and not ‘deejay’.”

    It was not my place to tell Kami to cut some slack to her child, and something else caught my attention. Crazy? I looked at Twig again, this time sure that he had at least some cybernetics and remembered what I was told on Jakku, some time ago. Detached from this plane of existence most of the time. Likely to embrace all Force sects at the same time, and then some. Chaotic at times, yet so peaceful. Not strong enough for a Jedi. Not keen on fighting. Most of his life happens in his own head. It was the man that Lor San Tekka told me to seek, should I want to hear a different take on things and should I want a Force-wielder other than the one I had in mind around.

    The Crazy Man of Endor.




    Footnotes
    This is indeed intended as a message recorded to R2-D2, but that should be obvious. Now, how does it turn from a distressed rambling into a first person story - I guess one could call it "creative freedom".

    The second sentence contains a reference to, well, a song I like very much.

    Endor I and Endor II have been confirmed as binary stars in the New Canon, much to my delight - they were binary in the Ewoks cartoon!

    Roon is yet to be confirmed in the New Canon, but it's the setting of the last arc of the Star Wars: Droids animated series from 1985. Whenever I use it, I use it for a good reason.

    I took the liberty and used the word Praxeum from Legends to refer to whatever location the Jedi were training at, at the time of the Jedi Massacre.

    The spaceport used here is implied to be a later version of Salfur's Trading Post, formerly owned by Cobb Salfur, a Legends character from a couple of old RPG sourcebooks. He was supposedly in the Endor Strike Team and he decided to stick around for a while.

    The Camie that Luke remembers upon seeing Kami is, of course, Camie Marstrap/Camie Loneozner.

    The name Soluna was taken from the woman who represented Denmark at the Eurovision in 2012. I thought it was pretty cool! Sol + Luna, geddit?

    Tumble bunnies are a thing, yes.
     
  13. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Superb introspections on interactions with Vader versus Kenobi and Yoda [face_thinking] How long each lasted is quite apart from the personal significance. Enjoyed meeting Kami, Soluna, and Twig. :) Tumble bunnies - just the name sounds cutesy.

    ~

    On returning to Endor or not - I can see how that would be fraught with all kinds of conflicted emotions, especially since it didn't turn out to be as decisive a victory as one might have hoped, or thought, in hindsight. :(
     
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  14. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2007
    I wonder what's in store for them on Endor.

    Aww! How cute! I love bunnies! [face_love] [face_love][face_love] [face_love]
     
  15. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    The relationship between Luke and Ben fascinates me, so very interesting to see them out and about together - and seeking another Force user on Endor. Is this where Ben first thinks he can talk to his grandfather, or has he already begun his descent into the dark?

    I like this, it feels very Luke.

    I love getting a glimpse into the meaning of the title - I'm sure it will be layered from here as well, the rough trades they all may make.
     
  16. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    At. LONG. LAST. I have really and truly been meaning to give this a proper read-and-review for a very log time now (as you well know :p ), and I've been slow about getting to know the ST stories on these boards in general, having really only started doing so within the last week or so.

    If it's all right, I'm going to start with a review of the prologue and continue with chapter 1 in a later post, just because it's getting late here and I wouldn't want my tired state to cause me to miss anything important.

    Prologue: Wow, what an incredible glance we're getting into Luke's mind, feelings, doubts, fears, etc. while he's all alone on his island on Ahch-to—a beautiful place that cannot not be strong in the Force, even if potentially the dark side. And the thing is, now that I've both read this and seen the movie and seen what he looks like in it, that haggard, bearded face, that enigmatic look he gives Rey, the way he hesitates when she hands him the lightsaber—the thoughts and feelings you've recorded (he has recorded) here go with that face like peanut butter goes with chocolate. The face we saw in the movie was not one of a zennish, beatific, nirvanic, ideal Jedi—it struck me at least as being one of a deeply conflicted, deeply rueful man on the verge of bitterness. (Yes, different image than the one in the OP, I know, but I hope you don't mind if I extrapolate a little. :) )

    Naturally Luke feels great guilt about what happened in the course of his training Ben, but there's much more to it than that—this is WAAAY more than just typical adult-figure angsting about How Children Turn Out. Whatever happened with Ben is leading Luke to reevaluate his whole relationship with his own father and family. Or, perhaps, he uses his own family experience to try to make sense of what happened with Ben. Or most likely both/and rather than either/or. Whether or not this will lead him to successful insights remains to be seen as the story goes on, but man, is this riveting and powerful stuff. :eek:

    I shouldn't try to quote any favorite parts or turns of phrase because if I do I'll be here all night, but I did want to make mention of Luke's observation that Anakin's and Ben's—because ohmigosh, one of the things that most struck me about Kylo Ren from the moment I first saw him was that he is so very opposite from Vader. Luke is speaking mainly of their origins (Anakin in poverty and slavery, Ben as the very privileged child of heroes), but it goes beyond that: Vader was perfectly polished, cold, and orderly in executing his evil, and Kylo is a hothead and a loose cannon. To what extent is that a function of their respective origins? Interesting to consider, as Luke no doubt is doing.

    And the droid chirp. A sweet touch, and happy reminder that Luke does have a trusty ally close at hand. :r2:


    A few mysteries—and of course it wouldn't be a proper EP story without plenty of intriguing puzzles for us readers to pore over :D : It's not hard to guess who the woman is who keeps saying "I know there's good in him." ;) More of a puzzle is the identity of the "you" at the end: for whom are these messages meant? Is it Artoo he's talking to, or ultimately somewhere else (with Artoo as the trusty intermediary, as he so often has been throughout the Saga)? That reminds me of the puzzles you've set up in your DDC, with the question of who the speaker is really addressing, and who might be listening in along the way. (I wonder if either of those three Force ghosts can? [face_thinking] )

    This is off to a fantastic start—more soon on chapter 1. :)
     
  17. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    So I'm finally getting around to reviewing your marvelous story....

    Luke's pain and remorse are so palpable in the prologue. Yes, he's rambling and wallowing in his perceived guilt, but who can blame him? I think you've done a fantastic job of capturing his emotions at a time when he's lost everything he's worked for and built at the hand of someone he loves and trusts. And there's steadfast Artoo, "off camera," keeping Luke grounded.

    Chapter One has aa great moody, suspenseful ambiance. Even if Luke hadn't said this was where things started to go wrong, you know immediately there aren't going to be many dancing Ewoks on this Endor. This little family and their log cabin are seriously creepy. Kami and Twig--those aren't their names, just what they're called. Crazy men in isolated forests are almost never good news. Soluna's an odd child; her poor bunnies! Are you supposed to carry them like that? All their strange implements and Kami's holocams remind me of ghost hunters and psychics and their equipment.

    I'm really intrigued by your story so far and I hope to see more soon =D=
     
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  18. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Before I reply to all of you and post chapter 02 - I wanted to thank y'all for the nominations for the best post-premiere fic and best character for Luke.

    Thank you so much for your support. <3




    Yup. It depends on the exact thought that calls for them. :)

    Thank you - those two mean a lot to me, and so does their little girl. <3

    Tumble bunnies:

    [​IMG]

    That is precisely what makes it complicated. :(

    I posted a pic of them above. :) Cute, but weeeeeeird.

    As for the rest...well, you'll see. :)

    [face_whistling][face_whistling]


    It means a lot to hear that from a 100% Luke connoisseur. [face_blush]


    The whole Saga has been a bunch of rough trades for the Skywalker family. But there is a far less "deep" meaning to it. You'll see. :)

    "And I know it's not too late...never too late."

    I'm not quoting whom I think you're quoting, btw. :eek: I'm quoting a totally random thing. o_O

    [face_cow]

    1. He is actually not on Ahch-to. He is wherever the massacre took place.

    2. I...did not think of the later, that opens so, so, so many possibilities!

    The latter is something that came to my mind as the end credits were rolling. He did not look like somebody who achieved enlightenment. Not at all!

    Thanks for that! <3

    That's what it is - a complicated cobweb of what went wrong, what could have been and...a lot of confusion.

    He may not be noticing those contrasts, as he's pretty much going through whole star collisions of thoughts, they're there for us to notice them. One can turn out to be a dangerous darksider, no matter what their life story is...

    Artoo may be causing butthurt (which I mention in the first chapter, actually. :p), but he can be nice...when he wants to.

    That sentence was iconic, so...I don't think there were doubts over it. :)

    A bit of both!

    This is off to a fantastic start—more soon on chapter 1. :)[/quote]
    And this is, officially, my first response to your first comment. A moment to remember once we're old and grey and I AM TOTALLY NOT BEING MELODRAMATIC AND GOOFY HERE. I'M SERIOUS, OK? [face_cow]

    Off-camera Artoo was always there when Luke, Leia and their parents before them needed him most, and that hand scene I put in the OP had such an emotional impact on me when I saw the second trailer, that it just had to happen. It looked like Luke was grasping for the last thing that he knew was real and not going to turn against him.

    You sure? I mean, my username is Ewok Poet! Poetry is for lyrics, lyrics are for music, music is for dance! :eek:

    Aaaand this is what I write for. Just like Findswoman finds one of my characters in Letters Never Sent slightly annoying, I love it how you see this family as creepy. :) I love seeing a different opinion, I love it when a fresh pair of eyes glances at my writing.

    Kami and Twig, in one form or another, have been a reoccurring couple in my writing for more than a decade now; and their creepiness totally makes sense. They're, in some way, really sweet people...but they're also too much of non-conformists and can appear disturbing.

    The way Soluna holds the tumble bunnies was inspired by the way Brømse, the little girl, plays with her teddy bear and Sven himself in the weird German PC game Sven Bømwøllen. I can't link gameplay videos because it's a game about a horny ram getting it on with a herd of sheep, so google it. :D

    *takes a bow, loses balance,
    *falls head straight in a bordok feeder*

    Huh?!

    *grins*
     
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  19. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Chapter 02

    A/N: Kami is writing an e-mail. The idea of "how some truly weird folks see Luke Skywalker and how they perceive him" is something I've been pondering for quite a while.




    SENDER: ‘Kami’ spaceport.dvm@spaceport.fe.outer
    RECIPIENT: blasedinblase@hyperyak.gal, worldhater@hyperyak.gal, management@tal...
    SUBJECT: ‘Mantigrues. They’re useful!’

    So, the great Luke Skywalker and his nephew are sleeping in our guest hammocks. We offered them our bed, but the teenager protested, because “we probably did stuff in it, since we have a toddler” and “he’s going to be a Jedi, so that’s repulsive”. That was not the only thing he had a problem with. After Twig served us dinner, the bratling asked to go to the ‘fresher and then…well…let’s say that he threw a fit over the fact that the ‘freshers were outside. If he had a problem with this, then what is going to happen if they end up staying at the village?

    This was not the first time I met Master Skywalker – I mean Luke, alright, he said that he wants to be addressed that way - though he probably would not remember me from whenever I first had that pleasure, as I was pretty much one of those “third trooper on the left” random faces in the crowd, the kind you see in romdrams. And those were some complicated times, either way. Now, when war has long been a thing of past, it’s different. Sure, I had a thought about somebody like him coming here at some point, as the Battle of Endor veterans have been making pilgrimage to this hidden corner of the Galaxy ever since I took over the trading post and made it into an excuse for a spaceport, but still, it’s him, out of all people. And the whole “Jedi Master” thing has a different ring to it, compared to the initial “why is everybody greeting this man and why is he wearing a single glove?” from that…chaotic party back then.

    Come to think of it…what Twig and I knew about the Jedi had always been vague. Sure, we lived our lives in the urban hell of various cities in the Core World, but Twig, he used to think that he had read every single book that there was to read about the Force. Ever since I met him, he’s been fascinated by life, death and the whole deal with the balance of the Force. His beliefs, until recently, had a tendency not to match anything he was doing.

    Needless to say that this is not how he had imagined Luke. Needless to say that I reminded him of that one time when he outright told the poor man off. Of course, he claimed that it could not have been the Luke Skywalker, more of some random person with the same name that happened to look identical. Or maybe he just didn’t expect anybody other than the two of us to age.

    And yes, that was funny. At least to me. It may depend on what you call funny and, as far as I know, you don’t even find holocomedies funny. We both met Luke before, I thought, as I said, that it was not my place to speak to him and when Twig had that encounter with him, it was…the other way round. Frankly, I think we should be glad that he doesn’t remember either of us. It would’ve been horrible to be stuck with suck rude hosts. On the other hand, we’re stuck with his rude nephew, so…goopa, lurdos, as our friends here would say.

    Soooo…our conversation over the dinner was interesting, to say the least. The kidlet – who thinks he’s an adult, by the way - first refused to eat chicken the way Twig garnished it and pushed the plate away. And it was good! Endorian herbs are far better than anything we had back in the Core Worlds and yes, we do have a little patch in our hanging garden with something he may have been used to and yes, we could have offered him it, but why not try the specialties of this particular world when there? I was close to losing my patience, and I felt that I may have projected my anger on Soluna, but this Ben – yes, he has a name – he…he was just unbelievable. This was the point where I hoped a mantigrue would pick him up. Mom, I know you don’t care to remember stuff – it’s a flying predator. The one because of whom you don’t like coming to see your granddaughter.

    Now, what was actually interesting about the conversation was Twig asking Luke about the ways of the Jedi. He saw through the childlike wonder, the kind of an act that my partner pulls effortlessly, and asked if he happens to be the Crazy Man of Endor. Twig blushed. He likes that identity of his, he likes it a lot. The things that can happen to an individual with the most basic of Force powers, just because he predicted a thing or two in the past…

    Just then, Sol teased Ben. He spilled the elusive dangleberry juice on himself out of blue, and she was sitting on her stump, pretending not to be involved with this at all. The kid was absolutely not happy. Our girl, bless her, she just sat there and laughed. The mischievous streak she inherited from me, combined with her father’s talents had to lead to this at some point.

    “Fine! I never liked the stupid juice from the stupid plant that bears fruit once a year, anyway!” Sol spoke, imitating Ben’s voice. “Uncle Luke, we need to work on this, it happened again.” She added, with a frown. I swear, if she wasn’t this creepy sometimes, she would make a good actress.

    “So, she is…” Luke turned to us. We both nodded. Twig felt it necessary to state that he is not capable of this much himself. Then he pointed to me and I shook my head. I was trying hard not to laugh, the idea of a klutz like me being blessed with any kind of, as one of my best friends says, nature powers, is as plausible as the idea of a Hutt dancing in a lace brassiere with little next to nothing else on.

    This is where I wished Sol would’ve been at least two years younger, so I could pretend to still breastfeed her. Had I lived fifty or more years ago, I would’ve most certainly done that. I wouldn’t have wanted anybody to take her away. Sure, there could’ve been some more drastic measurements, like removing a limb or two, but we’re not that much of lurdos. I mean, wermos.

    Turned out Luke knew about her, somehow, as well as the other girl. But he made it clear that he would not take any of them along. His Jedi Order seems to be completely different from what we’ve been reading about. I was relieved to know that he didn’t come here to take our daughter.

    Once Ben cleaned himself up – I could swear that he said a k-word or two in reaction to our water tank – he asked Twig why he chose to breed, being a Force-sensitive and all. Then he pointed at me and said, that ‘breeding with a regular’ may cause horrible, horrible problems. Hmmm, did one of his parents ‘breed with a regular’? Is he a horrible problem himself?

    Luke shook his head for who knows what time in a row. Twig patted him on the shoulder – I can see that he was stoked to do that, typical – and said that younglings are horrible at that age. He shared some of the things he did back then. I…didn’t need to know this. Each time the topic comes up, he shares worse and worse things. Luke listened and eventually said something in the lines of “That’s exciting! I was repairing second-hand droids on a moisture farm at that age!”

    Anyway, I’m totally sorry that I’m bothering you with this kind of a rant…and yes, I took the time to write it the way I did because it’s me after all; but I had to tell somebody. I know what you’re going to say, especially you, mom: that we need to stop this granno nonsense – sorry Em, you’re a granno by birth – and return to the Core. Once it’s time for school, I promise! We can live with each of you for a period of time and decide where we like it best?

    I need some sleep. We have some registered arrivals for later in the day: Leia Organa and Han Solo, out of all people. And yes, the most charming couple in the Galaxy, the only ones to come every year! Probably the sweet old Ackbar, too! I think I’m excited. You should know I’m never excited about anything, but ee-chaa! Enough with Ewokese neologisms already, I know.

    Df5y4765789m68 v 45v4556b b76b765

    Tr46uu76

    O09asdsdf

    -0-4=06=56

    That was Sol’s way of saying “hi, grandma”, yes. Twig’s way is currently a state close to drooling on my other shoulder. Had quite a day.

    Anyway, I’ll update you on whatever happens next. Wish you were here, I guess?




    Footnotes
    "Third trooper on the left" is an inside joke of sorts, conceived by Kahara and I. I encourage everybody to use it. :p

    The word "romdram" is the courtesy of leiamoody

    Bratling is Dulok slang from the Ewoks cartoon - I can imagine that other Endorians would pick that word up.

    Goopa - hello in Ewokese

    Lurdo - idiot, weirdo, etc. in Ewokese

    Ee-chaa - gee in Ewokese

    Mantigrue - A fearsome Endorian reptavian

    Dangleberry - Elusive and delicious Endorian fruit

    Granno - Similar to "hipster" in our world, will be clear in my other stories
     
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  20. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Oh, oh! Delightful. What a unique and chatty format. :cool: And I like the characters, I feel I know them just from reading her message! =D= I also like the candid things and observations about Luke and Ben. :p
     
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  21. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    OK, catching up! One reason it's taken me so long is that I hope I can do justice to all the cool detail and nuance you've put into this story, so if I miss anything essential, please exsqueeze me.

    Chapter 1: More top-notch, very nuanced introspection from our lonely hero. I'm not surprised to see Endor looming so large as a pivotal location here, both because I know the author of this piece ( ;) ) but also because makes total sense for Luke given the climactic events that took place there, both in his own life and in the life of the saga. His feelings about the possibility of returning there aren't even so simply classifiable as "bittersweet" or similar; there were several triumphs there, of course, like the defeat of the Emperor, but there was also the death of the father Luke barely got to know—perhaps the roughest trade of all. It's interesting that when he does go back there it's in his new(-ish) capacity as teacher, for the benefit of his students. That's the generous, altruistic Luke I know!

    All that said, what Luke and Ben do find when they arrive on Endor numerous years ABE is probably not at all what they expect, and I shouldn't wonder if it raises as much of a red flag for them as for me. Here we have basically a family of hermits who have been living on this remote world long enough that their first instinct is to say "goopa" rather than "hello," and with names that aren't really names—just "what they call us" (as has been observed in earlier comments). At least they seem to be friendly, Soluna most of all (the "deejay" remark was just priceless!); she seems the polar opposite of Ben in someways, who (perhaps unsurprisingly) is being a bit of a wet blanket about the whole expedition. But most mysterious of all is Twig, the Crazy Man of Endor (I wonder what all the strange gadgets do); Luke obviously has a very specific purpose in mind in coming to him, even if he and his family are... a bit offbeat. His unique brand of Force attunement ("likely to embrace all Force sects at the same time" and yet "not strong enough for a Jedi") seems especially interesting and significant, and I'm curious to see how it will play out later in the story.

    (I did catch the remark about having forgotten the location of Anakin's pyre—which no doubt hints that Ben might stumble upon it later, unawares. And we know what that will lead to... [face_nail_biting] )

    Chapter 2: And the point of view shifts... I get the feeling that will be a semi-regular occurrence in this story, and that the reasons for it happening will always be good ones. One effect it has here is that we see that the mysterious woman of chapter 1 is really pretty much a decent person and perfectly fine. And we get a whole different (and perhaps much-needed) perspective on the disagreeable Ben. And boy oh boy, is he disagreeable! Besides his general snottiness and ungrateful behavior toward his hosts—which to a point can be written off as typical callow teenager talk—there's this bizarre obsession with how terrible it is for Force-sensitives to have things like SEX and BABIES which really is kind of a scary thing—and doubly so because we know that he too is the child of a Force-sensitive with a "regular" (one instance where that did give rise a horrible problem, ironically).

    As is typical for an EP story, there is such a wealth of intriguing detail here that I'm sure I'm not catching all of it. There of course has got to be a story of some sort behind the fact that Kami and Twig met Luke before now—and it looks like it may even have been at that now-famous Endor victory party! There's also apparently quite a bit of backstory worked out between Kami and the other email recipients (one of whom's her mother—and one can tell from things like the visiting-your-granddaughter remark that things are far from rosy between them). There's the fact that Twig has apparently "predicted a few things in the past"—what things, I wonder? There's also the mention of Twig's "talents"—meaning mainly his unique Force talent, or something else too? I have to say, though, I like the image of the aged Ackbar being a "sweet old" thing—and now I'm imagining him acting and sounding kind of like my dissertation advisor with the mutton chops! :D

    Really looking forward to seeing what direction(s) this will go, because I'm sure that it'll go some very unexpected and intriguing directions. And curious to see if and/or how it might fit in with the other universes you've created! :cool:
     
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  22. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Mysteries upon mysteries.... So Kami and Twig have met Luke before, though he seems not to remember them. You've given us some tantalizing hints at the backstory of these apparent urban hipsters who are now communing with nature or the Force or something on Endor, but leave us wondering. Why did Twig tell off Luke? Why didn't his life match his beliefs?

    Kami seems less than impressed by Emo Kylo Ren Ben, not that I blame her. He's the kind of teen who believes he knows everything, and looks at everything from his narrow, entitled worldview. Really, you'd think that Luke would have taught a future Jedi something about being open minded. Or maybe it just didn't stick, but you'd think his behavior would merit some sort of reproof from Uncle Luke. It's interesting that she doesn't seem to know that he's Han and Leia's son (unless I'm misreading the "did one of your parents breed with a regular?' comment) even though they visit every year.

    Soluna still creeps me right out. I'm waiting for her head to start spinning. ;)

    And this:
    I love this image as much as I am simultaneously disturbed by it. :D
     
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  23. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Hi Ewok Poet. I'm new here so still getting up to speed on what's cool / not cool in commenting. I've only read your prologue so far but hope to come back and continue (that's good - you got me hooked). So, I'll just say that despite my not being that fond of extended monologue styles, your experiment here was interesting and well executed.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Kuri
     
  24. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Wow, Ben really is a brat - I wonder why Luke lets him get away with such behaviour.
     
  25. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Hi again,

    So I read chapter 1 and am glad to see it developed into an interesting story rather than a pure self-reflection monologue experiment. Nicely written too! You've hit upon a timezone and set of events that I'm interested in for the sake of taking an rpg campaign set in the rebellion era beyond rotj, so I'll be coming back every now and then to seek inspiration!

    Thanks for sharing.

    Kuri
     
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