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Saga - PT Righteous Indignation of a Hutt Betrayed (Hutt OCs; OC Revolution Fall 2020 Challenge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Findswoman, Oct 18, 2020.

  1. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Author: Findswoman
    Title: Righteous Indignation of a Hutt Betrayed
    Era: Saga—PT (if I absolutely had to guess)
    Characters: OCs: Bonvika the Hutt, Shorgo the Hutt, and others
    Genre: One-shot with some drama and some humor
    Summary: No one, but no one crosses Great Bonvika the Hutt...
    Notes: For the OC Revolution Fall 2020 Challenge: First Line Edition, devised by @Kit' . My first line was #1 in her list: “He didn’t understand what he’d done to her, but he would by the time she was finished.” I had an inkling of an idea involving my marvelous Hutt OC, Great Bonvika (for more stories that feature her, see the end notes), and just sort of pantsed it from there—so here goes! As always, I thank the lovely @Raissa Baiard for beta reading. @};-


    He didn’t understand what he’d done to her, but he would by the time she was finished. It was a matter of trust betrayed—there simply was no other way to put it. No matter that Shorgo Flipstikkillac Jijuga was the grand lorda of Flipstikkillac kajidic and de-facto overlord of all black-market commerce along the Nimstockian Hyperspace Route. He was about to learn that nobody, but nobody crossed Bonvika Deseradii Feolla—Great Bonvika the Hutt.

    “Well now, Bonvika, this is... quite a... pleasant surprise.” Shorgo shifted apprehensively as his visitor’s lushly cushioned hover-dais hove forward.

    “Shorgo, Shorgo, Shorgo, spare the pleasantries.” Bonvika waved a short, stubby, and immaculately manicured hand. “I have not come here to banter with you.”

    “Ah ha ha, my dear lady.” Shorgo tried to sound as casual as he could while trembling inwardly—as almost everyone did when faced with the wrath of Great Bonvika. “There was a time when—”

    “Things are different now,” Bonvika answered curtly. “But I know one thing that has not changed. And that is”—here both she and her dais both lunged forward into Shorgo’s personal space—“that you are a treacherous, perfidious scoundrel who gets a lady’s hopes up and crushes them to bits in the maw of your bottomless, baseless, and ABSOLUTELY HEARTLESS GREED AND AMBITION!”

    All around the audience chamber, assorted henchbeings, minions, and courtiers reacted with genuine terror. Some gasped, some shuddered, some shifted uneasily, and others found excuses to leave the room altogether. Even Shorgo himself seemed more than a little nonplussed.

    At last he spoke. “Pray tell me what this is about, Bonvika. It is considered good business protocol, you know.”

    “As though a lowdown lout like you ever cared about good business protocol,” came the icy retort. “But very well. I shall tell you what this is about. This is about a dastardly bait and switch—”

    “Bait and switch? Ah, heh heh, certainly there must be some misunderstanding—”

    “—a dastardly bait and switch”—Bonvika continued, unfazed—“that not only humiliated me before the entire governing body of the syndicate and the lordas of three kajidics—”

    “N-now, now, certainly you exaggerate—”

    “—but also made Grand Duchess Peascodd swear in a huff that she would never do business with me again—”

    “Wait—P-Peascodd?” Shorgo was quivering now.

    “—because I had made her the laughingstock of the entire Intergalactic Society of Plangonologists!

    Plangonologists?! A new flash of terror shot through Shorgo as he began to understand. He glanced nervously around, as if to make absolutely certain that most or all of the henchbeings, minions, and courtiers had cleared out of the room. When he addressed Bonvika again, it was in quavering tones.

    “N-now l-look here, B-Bonvika... I gave y-you the, er, sh-shipment, ex-exactly as p-p-promised...”

    “Yes, you did.” The words were curt and clipped. “And it was full of Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally!”

    Shorgo gasped. Oh poodoo… “C-Cantonica Nights S-Spacer S-S-Sally?!”

    “Yes, you heard me! Twelve hundred boxes of Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally! Not a single Glamor Glitter Meetra to be found!”

    Oh poodoo, poodoo, poodoo. “Y-you are absolutely, p-positively—”

    “Yes, completely certain. I even remember the storage bay number. It was thirty-six.”

    “Thirty… s-six?” Oh poodoo, poodoo, poodoo, poodoo, POODOO. “J-just one m-m-moment…” stammered Shorgo, then cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed in the direction of one of the side doors, “Athblad!”

    “Yes, Y’r Vastness?” A portly, middle-aged male Togruta came bustling up. He wore garish blue dungarees with gold trim, suspenders, and a plain white tesh-tunic, and he carried a large datapad.

    “Contents log for storage bay thirty-six, beginning 4.1.933!”

    “Right away, Y’r Vastness.” The Togruta’s montrals twitched as he began tapping busily on his datapad for several moments. “Here we go. Storage bay thirty-six. 4.1.933 through 7.8.933: vacant. 7.8.933: twelve cases of Le’Ttam Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally doll with accessories, at one hundred units each—”

    “Is this really necessary, Shorgo?” Bonvika cut in.

    “J-just let him finish, all-all right?”

    “Y’r Vastness…?”

    “It’s okay, Athblad, it’s okay, it’s okay. Proceed.”

    “Arright, where was I… ah. Twelve cases of Le’Ttam Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally doll with accessories, delivered by heavy freighter Intership Galactica Aurek-Five. 9.11.933: contents transferred to scout vessel Rose Evergreen, agent of Bonvika Deseradii Feolla of Gebroila, Nal Hutta. 9.12.933 through 10.18.933: vacant. 10.18.933: nineteen pallets of Korrfun’s All-Star Salky Kibble delivered by cargo vessel Rusty Hinge, agent of—”

    “That’s enough that’s enough that’s enough!” bleated Shorgo. “Er… um… now run a search of all current contents logs! Search terms ‘Glitter’ plus ‘Glamor’ plus ‘Meetra’!”

    “Yes, Y’r Vastness. Glitter… Glamor… Meetra.” Again Athblad tapped on the datapad. “All right, here we are. Twelve cases, at one hundred units each, of CoCoToys Deluxe Edition Glamor Glitter Meetra. Storage bay sixty-three. ”

    Sixty-three. Not thirty-six, but sixty-karking-three. Heaving a long sigh, partly of relief and partly of regret, Shorgo buried as much of his spacious face in his hand as he could. “Bonvika, I am so sorry. I am so very sorry. This was a miserable, embarrassing error on my part and I really and truly am so, so, so—”

    “Shorgo, Shorgo, Shorgo. Dahling. Enough. Do you want to make things right?”

    “Yes. Yes, Bonvika.” He looked up suddenly and clasped his hands in a supplicative gesture. “With all my heart.”

    “Well, then.” She leaned closer to him. “You will get on the comm with Grand Duchess Peascodd right now, right here, in my presence, and explain everything.”

    “Y-yes, I shall.”

    “Everything. Leave nothing out. Understand?”

    “Y-y-yes, understood.”

    “And while you do that, please have your manservant here”—she gestured grandiosely toward Athblad—“contact the kitchen and have them prepare us one of those mahvelously scrumptious Lebnan platters for which your banquet table has become so well renowned throughout Hutt Space.”

    “Athblad!” Shorgo bellowed again.

    “Yes, Y’r Vastness?”

    “You heard her. Super deluxe platter number eleven. With extra Bababbb-harvested ghanuj.”

    “Coming right up, Y’r Vastness.”

    As Athblad popped off through a side door, Shorgo punched some buttons on the comm console beside his dais. Presently the blue-white hologram of a stern-faced, older female Geonosian materialized above it and scowled, “Good afternoon?”

    And Bonvika Deseradii Feolla—Great Bonvika the Hutt—leaned back among the luxurious cushions of her own dais with a smug grin on her face, as Shorgo began: “Good afternoon, Your Grace. Listen, about those Spacer Sallys…”

    the end
    Plangonologist is a rather obscure but perfectly legit real-life word that means “doll collector.”

    The dolls—Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally and Glamor Glitter Meetra—are fanon. For other fanon KOTOR-era-based fancy collector’s dolls, see also Ultimate Braids Bastila in Early Morning Thoughts of a Hutt’s Gardener and Silken Elegance Visas in Pandemonium at a Hutt’s Garden Party (incidentally also the first two stories that feature Grand Duchess Peascodd).

    Korrfun’s All-Star Salky Kibble is, however, established. I first learned about it from Tumblr user lasatfat (known on AO3 as TheAntleredPolarBear) in a conversation about something else entirely, so thank you, lasatfat!

    Hutt Lebnan cuisine, including Bababbb-harvested ghanuj, is the creation of @Chyntuck, who recently came back to visit the fanfic boards after some time away. Good to see you again, Chyn!
     
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha 2 Truths 1 Lie Host star 8 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] =D= Shorgo was totally flummoxed and discombobulated to say the least until the snafu was straightened out! And then the relief just poured off the screen [face_mischief]
     
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  3. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Thanks so much, Nyota! Glad you enjoyed this—it was such a fun contretemps to write, even if it was admittedly a little rough on poor Shorgo. :p But all will be fixed, and they will have a scrumptious repast to celebrate! Again, thank you so much for reading and being here. :)
     
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  4. Kahara

    Kahara Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    The amount of intrigue and drama surrounding Bonvika's doll collection/smuggling operation is truly a thing of beauty, as ever. [face_laugh] I suspect that I wouldn't normally say this about him, but yeah -- poor Shorgo! He truly is caught off guard, and an angry Bonvika is nothing to sneeze at.

    [face_rofl] This is just so absolutely how she would go about a rant -- and extra credit for apparently bringing back the ghosts of some Great Drama past in the mix. You tell him, Bonvika! [face_dancing]

    LOL, the only thing worse than Bonvika's incandescent rage is the disapproval of Duchess Peascodd. :p I think it's a lucky thing for him with regards to both ladies that the mixup seems to be just that! And that Bonvika is willing to hear him out, in exchange for refreshments and an embarrassing space phone call. :D

    Glad to see that balance has been restored to the Force, or at least Bonvika's little corner of the universe. ;) Ah, the contentment of getting even -- but also with a nice lunch and conversation after. Priorities!
     
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  5. Oddly_Salacious

    Oddly_Salacious Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 5, 2005
    Yesssss! I so enjoyed every moment, every word of this whimsy.
    *stands and bows to Finds
     
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  6. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    Poor Shorgo. Surely it isn't his fault that he or someone in his employ is numbers-dyslexic. (Which is a real thing, but I don't know what the real word for it is)
     
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  7. Anedon

    Anedon Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 11, 2016
    Intresting story, kinda looking at an unusual part of the GFFA. ;)
     
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  8. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    I loved that. That was just so amazing and the dialogue was just perfect. Beautifully done!
     
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  9. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Dahling, it’s so absolutely mahvelous to see the fabulous Bonvika in her Huttly glory again! :D And she is in top form here as puts the spineless Shorgo in his place. Bonvika is nothing if not a lady and she reminds me of those extremely well-bred romance heroines who never break propriety but let their displeasure be known in the strongest possible (but still comparatively mild) terms. No threats of dismemberment or assassination, no hidden rancor traps or sarlacc pits for Bonvika, indeed not! It suffices for her to tell Shorgo what an absolutely HEARTLESS CAD he is for his DASTARDLY BAIT AND SWITCH —and yet from the way Shorgo immediately trembles in his metaphorical boots, you know that Bonvika must be capable of employing such means to deal with heartless cads (subtly and mahvelously, of course). Luckily for the unfortunate Shorgo, he is able to rectify the situation and appease Bonvika and the apparently equally unforgiving Duchess Peascodd. All is mended with a fabulous platter of Lebnan food. Hooray!

    And I also enjoyed the further mention of CoCo Toys line of KOTOR-era dolls (which are no doubt a source of vast amusement and/or mortification for the Force Ghosts of their models. Though Bastila might just enjoy the Ultimate Braids version of herself...[face_thinking]) Please tell me there’s also a Lovely Lekku Mission and Brush and Style Zaalbar in the series.

    Another fun outing with the most mahvelous Hutt in the GFFA and a fun addition to the challenge!
     
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  10. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Great story! And I learned a new word. :) Though I've never been a plangonologist, I've collected enough other things to know that collecting is Super Serious Business™, especially when formalized groups are involved. I can totally see all of this playing out.

    I'd also like to add that the mental image of a Hutt yelling "ABSOLUTELY HEARTLESS GREED AND AMBITION!" is the best thing I've imagined all week. [face_laugh]

    This is one of those situations that looks very different from the outside than it does from the inside. From the inside, I can appreciate Shorgo's fear at being in the crosshairs of Great Bonvika the Hutt and her emphatic displeasure, and all of the implications it might have for his life and his business. From the outside, it was a very enjoyable story that adds layers of depth to the GFFA by exploring some various interests of the beings who inhabit it.

    Great job! =D=
     
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  11. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2004
    Oh. My. Goodness. But this has me in absolute stitches like I can't even begin to tell you. How righteous, how fear-inspiring, how great and terrible indeed is the well placed indignation and fury of a Hutt scorned! Bonvika certainly set things to rights, however, and with all of the grace and mahvelous aplomb that is so uniquely her own. Needless to say, Shorgo will definitely check his numbers twice and thrice again next time. [face_mischief] [face_laugh]

    And right about here is when I completely lost it. This whole epic flaying of Shorgo had an almost Austen-ian classical vibe to it that I just adored. Oh, but I could perfectly imagine this scene play out in my mind - through every delightful word

    Ooooooh, now Shorgo KNOWS he's stepped in it. :p [face_laugh]

    [face_rofl] [face_rofl] [face_rofl]

    I had to look up plangonologist, and then this already amazing fic turned a hundred times better!

    GLAMOR GLITTER MEETRA!!! ULTIMATE BRAIDS BASTILA! I DIED. [face_rofl]

    Oh! I loved seeing a Togruta OC! Even a properly cowed, understandably fretting Togruta OC. :p

    Yay! Rose Evergreen shout-out! [face_love]

    Oh . . . oops!! An all too easy mistake to make, but with quite the consequences. :oops:

    And all's well that ends well. With good food, a properly humbled Shorgo setting the record straight with the good duchess, and Bonvika the Hutt standing victorious over her enemies. Luuuv it!

    Thank you for sharing this mahvelous story with us! It was a great response to the challenge, and I enjoyed every word! [face_love] =D=
     
  12. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Hello everyone—many thanks for reading and commenting! :)

    Thanks so much! It was fun to write about Bonvika and her... unconventional activities again! And yeah, I probably wouldn’t normally feel sorry for Shorgo, either, but given that he’s faced with the righteous indignation of Bonvika, it really would be heartless of me not to have at least a shred of sympathy for the old blighter! :D

    Thanks! It was fun to write this part—going a bit for the “woman scorned” trope that turns out to be about something non-romantic, but who knows, maybe that was indeed part of the Great Past Drama? Maybe someday I’ll try writing that story.

    Yes, Shorgo is really between a rock and a hard place now, because Peascodd wouldn’t be willing to let things go with just an apology and a lunch. Bonvika’s a good-natured Hutt under it all, and she’s made “the punishment fit the crime,” so to speak. It is indeed a lucky thing for Shorgo! And the sharing of good food does have that special power to mend bridges. :)

    Oh yes, that is definitely the best way to get even, and the bon-vivant Bonvika knows it! Order has indeed been restored! (And, might I add, [face_relieved]!) Thanks so much, as always, for reading and commenting, my friend! :)

    Oh, thank you, Odd! So glad you enjoyed this! It was great fun to write something this whimsical again—kind of therapeutic, with all the stresses of RL! Glad I could share the feeling around. :)

    Yes, it all was just a big umbers mixup, wasn’t it! But that’s why he and Bonvika were able to sort things out with relative rapidity. (Though now, let’s just hope he didn’t mix up the number of the food platter, or he might really be in trouble! :p ) Thanks so much for being here to read and comment. :)

    Thank you, Anedon! It was fun to write this unusual corner of the GFFA again, and I really appreciate your coming by to read, comment, and take the chance on it. :)

    Thanks so much, Kit’, glad you liked it! The dialogue, banter, repartee, etc. really was the most fun part to write with these two, so I’m glad it came off well. Thanks again for being here and reading! :)

    Thank you so much as always for the awesome comment, Raissa, and I’m so glad you enjoyed seeing Bonvika again—I enjoyed writing her again! Yes, very good comparison there to those early romance heroines; that’s Bonvika’s MO to a tee as well. She pulls no punches, but she’s VERY classy about it. All that uncivilized trap door and large, hungry creature business is so lower class. :p

    Oh yes, if she really wanted or needed to, Bonvika would spare no means in wreaking a full and complete revenge on Shorgo. But under it she really is a good-natured sort, and that side of her will almost always win out every time. (And she wouldn’t feel right leaving even Shorgo to the tender mercies of Grand Duchess Peascodd—rock and hard place, again!)

    Yes, yes, there definitely are both those dolls in that line. :D It was fun to brainstorm another new CoCoToys doll and also to contrast them with the lower-rent Spacer Sally! :p
    As for Bastila meeting her Ultimate Braids counterpart... cracky bunny noted and logged! :D I wonder if the line continues into more recent times, with the women from Fallen Order, too (whose names I of course have all forgotten), or even some of the Project Luminous people... [face_thinking]

    Thank you so much, my friend, and so glad to have you here as always! :)

    Thanks so much, Thumper, wonderful to see you here! Oh yes, Grand Duchess Peascodd takes her collecting activities Very Seriously, and you don’t just mix up high-end specimens like Glamor Glitter Meetra with the low-rent Cantonica Nights Spacer Sally! :p

    Why, thank you! That outburst of hers was one of the most fun bits to write, and I’m glad it played a part in brightening your week! :)

    Yes, there are definitely a number of layers and sides at work here. For types like Shorgo and Bonvika, messing up a deal this big really can have huge repercussions, but the application of a little good-naturedness goes a long way to mend things. And it was fun to mix up the whole Hutt trope a little by making the business be about dolls instead of the more usual spice or illegal Weapons—because hey, the GFFA is a huge place and there are all types!

    Thank you so much once again, and so glad you enjoyed! :)

    Thanks so much, Mira, and I’m so glad you enjoyed seeing Bonvika again—it was such a joy to write her again, and to try writing her in a new and different mood! But the class and grace and good nature do eventually win out, and in this day and age when those things seem so little valued, I like the idea of writing about a world in which they are, and in which they win. <3

    Thank you so much! I guess it was that “romance heroine” factor mentioned by @Raissa Baiard, which can be a lot of fun to work with with a character like Bonvika. It was my first time writing an angry Bonvika, and that’s the image that just seemed to fit! :D

    Oh yes, between a rock and a very hard place, for sure!

    Thanks! D It was fun to learn a new word in the process of writing this. I found that one by doing a little web search on “what’s the word for a doll collector,” or similar, and that’s what came up, so I went with it. :)

    Yep, indeed! :D Both from the same exclusive CoCoToys line of special-edition collectors’ dolls!

    Aw, thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed poor harried Athblad! He was fun to create and a little different from my usual. I was kind of visualizing a more colorfully dressed Togruta version of Malakili. :p

    Yep, good catch, and of course! ;)

    Yes—one of those “chaos theory” or “butterfly effect” things where one little thing sets off big repercussions! :p

    Yes, order has been restored to the Force, indeed, and tasty food is forthcoming to celebrate, of course! :D

    You are so welcome, and thank you for the awesome comment—always a joy to have you here, and I’m glad this story brought you joy, too! :)